Securing the Airway Is Important (6)

I sank into a chair and mulled over the title I'd just gotten from the gallery.

'A doctor with trash hands but good at securing the airway, who saved a patient but almost killed him.'

I wanted to swear, but the fact that it was undeniably true only made me feel even more pathetic.

With a miserable expression, I got to my feet.

Anyway, I had work to do. Not until I was freed from the paycheck shackles of this hell.

I threw off my bloodstained gown and changed into a clean one.

Every step I took down the hallway toward the station felt like lead.

I could feel every nurse and doctor at the station stealing glances at me after the uproar just now.

They were probably whispering, 'That first-year just caused a massive disaster.' Something like that.

I forced myself to ignore their gazes and tried to head back to my seat.

That was when it happened.

'Hey.'

The cold, indifferent voice that came from behind me.

It was Han Jae-eon, a third-year resident.

My heart dropped with a thud.

So it’s here, then.

The sin of being a first-year and carrying out an invasive procedure on my own without a senior's permission.

Preparing myself for the hellish scolding that was about to begin, I turned around as politely as I could.

'Yes, doctor.'

Han Jae-eon stood there with her arms folded, looking down at me with a face devoid of expression.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

'You, that...'

Han Jae-eon paused to choose her words.

'You did well.'

...Huh?

I lifted my head, wondering if I’d heard her wrong.

'Seriously, you did really well. A first-year can’t do this. No, really. I’m not just being polite. When the blood gushes out that much, even most third- or fourth-years would panic and be unable to handle the patient properly. But you pulled it off on your own.'

My brain froze at the unexpected praise.

I was staring blankly at her when her voice dropped a notch.

'But...'

Ah.

Yeah, of course.

That 'but' after the praise was the real point.

'You didn’t think of a surgical airway?'

That was exactly the point the crazy ghosts from the gallery had torn me to shreds over.

I couldn’t say a word, only my lips moved uselessly.

'Ah...'

At my reaction, Han Jae-eon let out a deep sigh.

'Hyeon-jae. Snap out of it. Do you know how dangerous the gamble you just took was? If intubation had failed, what do you think would have happened?'

...

'That patient would have died right in front of you. Drowned in blood, or with their brain wrecked by hypoxia. And you? You’d be hit with a medical negligence lawsuit and your life would be over. No matter how good your intentions were, if the result is death, that’s not okay. Do you understand?'

'...Yes.'

It was all true.

Because it had succeeded, it could be framed as a heroic decision, but if I’d failed, I would have lost everything.

I bowed my head deeply.

I had no excuse whatsoever.

Then Han Jae-eon’s voice softened again.

'But...'

She gave my shoulder a light tap.

'You really did well. You’re the one who saved him.'

With that, Han Jae-eon turned around and went on her way.

I stood rooted to the spot for a long while.

It felt like I’d gone back and forth between hell and heaven.

Praise and scolding, advice and warm acknowledgment.

That’s what a real senior is like.

As I stood there dazed, loud footsteps came from the direction of the pediatric ER in Zone C, far off in the distance.

'Huff... huff... Han Hyeon-jae!!! Where are you!!!'

When I turned my head, department head Lee Min-jae was running this way, panting for breath.

His white coat was plastered with all kinds of unidentified pink character stickers.

He looked like he’d been tormented by kids all day.

'Is it true!!! Is what I just heard from the nurse true?!?! Really?!?!?'

The moment Lee Min-jae reached me, he grabbed both my shoulders and shook me like a madman.

I felt so dizzy I thought I might die.

'A tonsil surgery patient! Blood was gushing out of his throat like a fountain?! And you handled that all by yourself! You shoved a tube down his throat?! Is that really true, you crazy bastard!!!'

At the racket, everyone’s eyes at the station turned to me again.

I had no strength left to answer, so I just nodded.

Then a strange smile bloomed on Lee Min-jae’s face, one that mixed exhilaration and madness.

'Yeah! See! I told you! You’re EM, not internal medicine!'

...Here we go again.

'This is it! This is exactly it! The boldness to calmly save a patient’s life in a bloodbath like this! That’s the real heart of an emergency medicine doctor! What do those internal medicine guys know! They’re just stuffy bookworms staring at charts and numbers all day! But you’re different! You proved it with action! Your blood is hot blood like ours!'

And then Lee Min-jae hugged me, his movements so exaggerated it was like watching a stage actor.

I buried my face in the character stickers plastered on his coat and thought to myself.

Why do I keep ending up on shifts with you?

When will this wretched bad luck ever end?

I just wanted all of this commotion to be over quickly.

But the department head showed no sign of letting me go.

Lee Min-jae kept gripping my shoulders and showering me with praise.

'This is exactly what I saw in you! Internal medicine guys will spend their whole lives sitting at desks and twirling pens. But us? We pull people back from the brink with our own hands in this chaos of blood and broken bones! You’re not just a doctor. You’re a warrior! A warrior fighting for patients on the front line of this ER!'

Warrior, my ass.

I’m just a wage slave who wants to go home.

Lee Min-jae, moved to tears, was putting on a full one-man performance.

'I misunderstood you for a second! I thought you were some petty guy who was going to run off to internal medicine! Sorry! This big brother apologizes! But now I get it! Your heart, your soul—they’re here! With us in this hellish ER!'

No, my soul already clocked out and went to bed.

I watched Lee Min-jae’s one-man musical with empty eyes.

How can that guy talk that much and not get tired?

Just as I started to admire his lung capacity, Lee Min-jae’s eyes suddenly flashed.

As though he had realized some tremendous mission.

'This won’t do. I have to report this.'

...Report what?

'I absolutely have to tell the professor about this! That there’s a talent like this in our emergency medicine department! We can’t keep letting those internal medicine bastards look down on us!'

'What? No, wait, doctor?'

My attempt to stop him never reached his ears.

Lee Min-jae started shouting loud enough to shake the ER.

'Professor Cheon!!! This guy’s crazy!!!! He just saved a life, and not at some ordinary level either!!!'

'Agh, please be quiet, Dr. Lee Min-jae!!! Please!!!'

I was nearly in tears as I grabbed at his arms, but the damage was already done.

Every single person at the station was staring at us, shocked.

I could feel my face burning with embarrassment.

For a moment there, I wanted to sink into the ground and disappear.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Professor Cheon Eun-jeong, who was on duty today, didn’t seem to be nearby.

Lee Min-jae shouted the professor’s name a few more times, then, looking deflated, muttered, 'Well, I guess she’s not here. I’ll tell her later,' gave my shoulder one last hard pat, and went back to the pediatric ER.

I was completely drained. My soul had run away. Adrenaline, or whatever else—it felt like the shame from just now had burned every last bit of my energy away.

Leaning against the wall and standing there dazed, someone poked me.

'Hey.'

It was Han Jae-eon, a third-year resident.

The guardian of that post-op bleeding patient is here. Go explain it to them.

'Huh? Ah, yes!'

Only then did I come back to reality.

Right. My work wasn’t over yet.

I gathered strength into my wobbling legs and headed to the consultation room.

In the consultation room, a woman who looked to be in her fifties sat there with a deathly pale face.

She was the patient’s mother.

I swallowed hard and sat down across from the patient’s mother.

'You’re the guardian, right? I’m Han Hyeon-jae, from Emergency Medicine. I was the one who treated your son just now.'

I did my best to sound calm and trustworthy. Of course, I was probably trembling all over.

'First, the bottom line: he’s okay now. Your son’s life is not in danger.'

'Really? Is he really okay?'

'Yes. He’s stable now. But until just a little while ago, it was a truly critical situation.'

I began explaining the situation as clearly as possible.

'A week ago, your son had his tonsils removed, and today a blood vessel at the surgical site ruptured, causing a massive hemorrhage.'

I decided not to use the sensational line about blood gushing out like a fountain. I do have that much tact.

'Because of that bleeding, a blood clot blocked his airway, leaving him unable to breathe. If a person can’t breathe, brain damage can occur within minutes, and then cardiac arrest follows. In your son’s case too, it was an extremely critical situation that could have stopped his heart.'

The patient’s mother listened to me, biting her lip.

'So we performed an emergency intubation. We inserted a tube through his mouth into the airway to keep it open so he could breathe with a ventilator. Fortunately, the procedure was successful, and right now he’s breathing steadily on the ventilator. His vital signs are fine, and the bleeding that burst open just now has, for the moment, stopped.'

A single tear finally rolled down the patient’s mother’s cheek.

'Thank you... Thank you so much, doctor...'

'Of course, ma’am. He should have been taken upstairs by now, and later a nurse will connect you with ENT as well. They’ll explain everything again there.'

The explanation was finished.

The patient’s mother kept bowing and thanking me over and over.

Accepting her thanks, I felt that strange weight once again.

Someone who sentences one person to hellish despair and another to heaven-like hope.

Carrying that weight, I stepped out of the consultation room.

It felt like not a single drop of energy was left in my body.