Chapter 50
Chirp. Chirp.
What a load of crap.
The sunlight was blazing down, and the birds outside the window were chirping their heads off from morning onward, as if something had put them in a great mood.
I was in a taxi, on my way to the hospital.
***
How long had I been riding?
In the distance, the silhouette of that familiar yet dreadful building began to appear.
[Cheongjin University Medical Center Busan Hospital]
And beneath it, the hospital slogan, embedded there like hypocrisy itself.
「We share in our patients' pain, and devote ourselves tirelessly to research and to the health of tomorrow」
I let out a bitter laugh at the slogan.
Why don't you share my pain, then?
All that endless research is eating away at my health tomorrow.
Before I knew it, the taxi had stopped at the entrance to the hospital's emergency medical center.
As I got out of the car, the familiar smell of disinfectant hit me.
Buzzz-
The emergency room in the morning was quieter than I'd expected.
A few night-shift nurses worn out from the overnight grind, and a few others who had just come in and were standing there dazed.
Among them, a young-looking nurse at the triage desk spotted me.
"Yes. Where does it hurt, and how?"
"My heart hurts..."
"Huh?"
The nurse's eyes went wide at my nonsense.
Just then, the veteran nurse working on the computer beside her looked up.
"Oh, Han-ssem? What's going on? Weren't you off today?"
I scratched the back of my head with an awkward smile.
"...I just... uh... had a little research to do..."
My pathetic excuse passed through the nurse's face, and a look of understanding flickered there.
Leaving that pitiful gaze behind, I took my staff ID out of my pocket.
Beep-
[Door access granted]
As I stepped into the ER, my classmate Kim Ji-hoon, who had just finished the night shift and was on his way out, spotted me and his eyes went wide as if he'd seen a ghost.
"Han Hyeon-jae? Aren't you off? Are you crazy? Why are you here?"
Without answering, I tapped Kim Ji-hoon's shoulder and walked past him.
My destination was a computer that could access the electronic medical record system.
I walked toward an empty computer.
Right, I need to pull the patient data...
First I had to go through the proper procedures...
Ah, that's right.
Patient information.
If I was going to present this at an academic conference, I obviously needed the hospital's permission.
IRB, the Institutional Review Board.
...Damn.
I'd forgotten all about that.
To get IRB approval, I'd have to write a research protocol, submit it for review, and wait for the committee to meet...
But I only had two days.
What on earth was Professor Cheon thinking?
I was utterly screwed.
Just as I stood frozen in the middle of the hallway like a stone statue,
a familiar silhouette appeared in the distance.
Professor Cheon Eun-jeong.
My savior.
Or maybe the grim reaper.
I ran toward Professor Cheon, clinging to a straw.
"Professor!"
At my desperate call, Professor Cheon stopped walking and looked at me.
"Why? Finished the paper already?"
'As if I had, you old bastard...'
I wailed inwardly and put on the most polite, pitiful expression I could manage.
"Um... professor. This is my first time writing a case report."
"Oh, really?"
"So I don't know what I'm supposed to do with the patient data... or how to handle things like personal information or the IRB, so I wanted to ask..."
"Oh, that's all? Since this is just a simple case report, you don't need formal review—just apply for an exemption. We'll strip out all patient identifiers, so don't worry about the administrative stuff for now and hurry up and write the abstract so we can submit it! I'll handle the IRB paperwork later!"
...You know way too much about pointless stuff.
No, I mean, is it only natural for a professor to be this well-versed in administrative procedures?
I took my phone out of my pocket.
It was the list of papers I'd organized with the help of the ghosts.
"Professor, if you have a moment, this is the list of reference papers I gathered overnight yesterday. Could you take a look and tell me whether the direction is right?"
At my words, Professor Cheon's eyes sparkled with interest.
"Already? Let's see."
Professor Cheon slowly began scanning the list from the top.
"Hmm... let's see... 'Atypical Presentation of ACS: A Systematic Review'... 'The American Journal of...' uh... hm... huh?"
Professor Cheon's eyes grew wider and wider, and a faint crease formed between the brows.
"Hey. You found these really well, huh? Review papers, classic papers explaining the mechanism, even the newest case reports. The structure's perfect. You must've dug pretty hard for these, huh?"
I just gave an awkward smile and answered as humbly as possible.
"Thank you. I guess I was just lucky."
"The direction is excellent. Just keep going like this. Fighting!"
Professor Cheon finished saying that and went back on her way.
***
I took a seat in front of an old computer.
After entering the patient's name and hitting search, the records from the past few days spread across the screen.
"Hmm."
The first thing that caught my eye was the record from the time of admission.
The vital signs were stable, but the pain the patient complained of was quite severe.
Pain too severe to be dismissed as simple sore throat.
"Hmm, huh."
Next was the progression of the ECG changes.
"At first it changed like this, and in the end, the vessel that was blocked was this one..."
I opened the coronary angiography report.
RCA mid 99% stenosis.
The interpretation said the midsection of the right coronary artery was 99% blocked.
The prophecy of that old geezer, the Scalpel God, had come true exactly.
I opened a word processor and started building the skeleton of the abstract by organizing the collected data one by one.
***
About ten minutes passed.
I hit the first wall.
The sentence sounded too childish and flimsy.
'Sore throat is a very rare symptom of MI.'
What is this? Even an elementary school essay would be better.
Hell Joseon Slave 1 : Hey, I wrote "very rare," but is there a more polished way to say "a very rare symptom"?
At my question, the gallery responded at once.
Back in My Day : What kind of nonsense is "very rare"? Are you writing an English diary? ‘Is an unusual and frequently overlooked clinical manifestation’
(An atypical and frequently overlooked clinical manifestation)
Write it like that. Seriously.
I revised the sentence obediently, just as he said.
Oh. Damn.
In an instant, the quality of the writing changed.
The sentence suddenly looked insanely scholarly.
The case report section was easy. I just had to list the collected data objectively.
But the discussion section at the end was the problem.
I had to logically weave the fifteen papers I'd found last night into this short paragraph.
Following what Hematoma Is Hell told me last night, I started structuring the paragraph in the order of prevalence, mechanism, and prognosis.
‘According to previous studies, about 15% of patients with acute coronary syndrome complain of atypical symptoms rather than chest pain, and cases presenting with sore throat alone are reported to be extremely rare...’
The more I wrote, the more it felt like I was borrowing the ghosts' brains, not my own.
Without Googling once, whenever I got stuck I threw questions at the gallery, and answers poured in in real time.
Hell Joseon Slave 1 : I need to write in English that the pain signal from the heart travels to the neck—can I just say 'The pain signal from the heart travels to the neck'?
At my question, HippocratesDescendant reacted as if he were about to have a fit.
HippocratesDescendant : You little bastard!!!! Goes to? Goes to?!
ㄴ Hell Joseon Slave 1 : Can't I use that word? The meaning gets across, doesn't it?
HippocratesDescendant : Are you taking elementary school after-school English classes right now?? You're writing an English paper about a case where a patient's life and death were at stake! Not an elementary school English writing contest!
HippocratesDescendant :
What do you mean, "goes to"? "Goes to"?! Aren't there much more sophisticated, academic alternative terms and expressions? 'The cardiac pain is often referred to the neck'
(Chest pain is often referred to the neck.)
Or 'The pain frequently radiates to the pharyngeal area'
(The pain frequently radiates to the pharyngeal area.)
You should write it like that! Dignity! Maintain your dignity as a scholar!
It was the first time I'd seen HippocratesDescendant blow up like that.
I obediently typed in the sentence he had given me.
And just like that, I finished the abstract at a ridiculous pace with the ghosts' real-time editing and guidance.
Before the department clock had even turned halfway around.
My fingers stopped above the Enter key.
I read through the finished abstract from start to finish.
Perfect.
Clean logic from introduction to conclusion.
Accurate data.
And... English so fluent and professional it was hard to believe I'd written it myself.
I checked the clock. Exactly 26 minutes had passed since I started pulling EMR data.
"...Holy shit."
A hollow laugh escaped me.
I saved the completed file, sent it by email, and decided to go find Professor Cheon.
"Professor."
"Oh, what now? Did something else come up with the IRB?"
Professor Cheon turned to me with a faintly annoyed frown.
I showed her the email-sent confirmation screen on my phone.
"No, professor. It's just..."
I said as calmly as I could.
"It's done."
...
Silence fell.
Professor Cheon Eun-jeong's eyes widened.
Professor Cheon's mouth fell slightly open.
"...Already?"
"Yes."