Inquiry Hosted by the Sixth Knight Order Commander (2)

As I thought how dashing Commander Zachary was and looked at him again, Commander Quentin interjected from beside me.

"Zachary, I suspect the many great deeds of Fia-sama that you listed were accomplished through the power of the Black Dragon King-sama."

"The Black Dragon...?"

Commander Zachary repeated, looking puzzled.

"Yes. As you already know, the blue bird-shaped monster Fia-sama carried on her shoulder was the Black Dragon King-sama in disguise. The Black Dragon King-sama has been mentioned in books for over a thousand years. In other words, the King possesses a thousand years' worth of knowledge and power. Knowing monsters' traits, sensing monsters from afar, and controlling familiars bound to other knights—all of that must be thanks to the Black Dragon King-sama's power."

"...Is that so, Fia?"

When Commander Zachary asked me, I thought through each point.

"Huh? Um... Of course the Black Dra—... the Black Dragon would know monsters' traits. The Black Dragon did tell me what kinds of monsters each squad had encountered and how many there were. And controlling the familiars... now that you mention it, I had the Black Dragon make a special warning sound to help me."

Wait, had Zabiria really been helping me with almost everything?

W-Well, none of that is really part of a Saint's actual duties. It doesn't mean I'm incompetent... right?

I suddenly felt painfully incompetent and looked up at Commander Zachary dejectedly.

Commander Zachary gazed at me in silence for a while, then nodded as if he'd come to a conclusion.

"If that's your answer, I'll accept it."

...Huh? That sounds rather ambiguous.

No, no, that's really the truth.

Except for the fact that I'm a Saint...

The Saint part... that I know about monsters because I'd slain so many of them in my previous life as a Saint, or that I could control familiars thanks to the power of Saint blood... I can't tell him any of that.

Or... was this the moment to tell him I was a Saint?

The instant I thought that, my whole body suddenly began to tremble.

My heart began pounding, and sweat started dripping from my face and back.

Even breathing became difficult; my breaths grew shallow and short.

"Fia?"

Commander Zachary noticed I was unwell and called to me in a puzzled voice.

I thought I had to reassure him since he was worried, but all the strength left my body, and I collapsed face-first onto the ground.

Still lying there, I opened and closed my mouth, but all that came out was a strained wheezing.

――――――Ah, I can't.

Lying facedown, I turned my thoughts to my previous life.

――――――The difference in power is absolute.

Commander Zachary is strong. Commander Quentin is strong, too.

Zabiria is incredibly strong, too. Commander-in-Chief Savis and Commander Cyril are impossibly strong.

...But the Demon King's right hand is far stronger than all of them...

If that demon learns I'm a Saint, it will come to kill me immediately.

If Commander Zachary, Commander Quentin, Zabiria, Commander-in-Chief Savis, and Commander Cyril... tried to protect me, all that would be left would be a mountain of corpses—knights and the Black Dragon alike.

――――――I couldn't bear to witness a future like that.

Still lying on the ground, I continued to take shallow breaths.

A strange wheezing sound began to escape my throat, and it became difficult to breathe.

The distress of barely being able to breathe made tears spill naturally from my eyes.

...It hurts.

But being killed would hurt even more.

If the knights or Zabiria were killed in my place, it would hurt even more.

Commander Zachary had shown such courage, but I couldn't respond in kind...

Because if I confessed now, I'd be envisioning a future where the knights died in vain.

Courage and recklessness are not the same. The Demon King's right hand was an opponent the knights couldn't defeat even once in a hundred battles.

And yet, the moment I confessed, Commander Zachary would be put at risk.

The information that I was a Saint—if the Demon King's right hand learned it, it would be fatal. Simply knowing it put Commander Zachary at risk.

Commander Zachary had acknowledged my decision to act to save the knights.

He had promised, in the name of a knight commander, that no matter what I told him, he'd keep it secret.

So...

...It hurts.

It hurt so much that I couldn't tell Commander Zachary the truth after he'd shown me such sincerity, that I couldn't return even a little of it...

Unable to say anything, I let the tears fall and simply continued to breathe with difficulty.

"...Fia."

Commander Zachary's voice came from above, and I moved only my eyes.

Commander Zachary quietly looked down at me, then carefully lifted me from the ground and gathered me in his arms.

He held me so that my head rested over his heart.

The unnatural sounds continued to escape my throat, and it was getting harder to breathe in or out.

As my consciousness grew hazy, Commander Zachary spoke to me more slowly than usual.

"Fia, can you hear my heartbeat?"

Focusing on the sound near my ear, I could hear Commander Zachary's heart beating slowly and strongly.

I didn't think I could speak, so I gave a small nod, and Commander Zachary continued in a gentler voice than usual.

"Good girl. Match your heartbeat to mine. Breathe in slowly. Then breathe out even more slowly. ...That's it. You're doing well."

Commander Zachary's large, warm hand slowly stroked down my back.

My tears soaked Commander Zachary's uniform, but he didn't seem to mind and calmly continued to guide my breathing.

I kept breathing in and out to the rhythm of Commander Zachary's voice for a while, and my breathing gradually returned to normal. My trembling subsided, and the sweat began to dry.

Even so, I kept my eyes closed and stayed quiet for a while, until my confused thoughts began to settle.

―――I knew I was being unfair to Commander Zachary, but there was no helping it.

Even if this same situation came around a hundred times, I would make the same choice.

In my previous life... the knights repeatedly told me:

That a Great Saint and a knight were of different worth.

That knights were meant to be shields for the Great Saint, and never the other way around.

But I never accepted that, not even once.

A knight and a Saint have equal worth.

If knights become shields for Saints, then I'll become a shield for knights, too.

―――That was how I had saved the knights' lives.

Just as the knights had protected my life.

So... I wouldn't confess that I was a Saint.

Not as long as it would put Commander Zachary at risk.

Once I had made up my mind, I let out a long sigh.

Commander Zachary seemed to realize I'd calmed down. He stopped stroking me and lifted his hand from my back.

"Fia, I'm sorry. I pushed you too hard. Let's stop here. ...If you can drink water, you should."

As he spoke, he handed me a cup of water.

I only meant to wet my lips, but after one sip, it tasted so good that I gulped down every last drop.

Drinking the water made me feel refreshed and gave me some energy.

I placed a hand on Commander Zachary's chest, looked up at him, and smiled.

"Commander Zachary, thank you. I've calmed down, and I'm feeling better."

"...Your recovery is astonishing."

Commander Zachary gave a small, relieved smile and patted my back gently, as if soothing a little child.

I smiled back and looked Commander Zachary straight in the eye as I thanked him.

"Commander Zachary, thank you for accepting what I did. I was happy when you promised to keep anything I told you secret. But... I'm sorry. I can't tell you anything more."

Commander Zachary stared at me as if trying to confirm what I really meant.

I thought this was where I had to stand firm, so I stared back at him almost defiantly. After a while, he seemed to understand something, nodded slightly, and murmured, "I understand."

Then he looked at me with a serious expression.

"Fia, remember that we're grateful to you. If you don't want to talk about something, you don't have to. ...But I'm always ready to listen. So if you ever need me, call for me anytime. ―――That's how I'll show my gratitude."

Commander Zachary fell silent, then helped me off his lap and to my feet.

"Fia, you must be tired, so go back to the castle first. I have things to discuss with everyone, so I can't go with you, but I'll send a few knights along instead."

I wondered if I really shouldn't hear what he was going to discuss with everyone, but I could feel how unsteady I was and realized I'd be no use if I stayed.

I thought returning to the castle without getting in the way was the right thing to do if the commander had decided I wasn't needed, but I also felt bad about involving other knights.

"Um, I'll go back to the castle, but you're all busy, so I'll be fine on my own."

"........Those guys have business at the castle, too."

Commander Zachary continued after a pause, but he wasn't a very good liar.

...Yeah, he was clearly assigning them because he was worried about me.

But I'm already feeling better, and if he's worried I'll fall off a horse or something, I'm fine, you know?

Still, refusing his kindness seemed rude, so I decided to accept without saying anything.

As I prepared to leave and loaded my things onto my horse, Commander Zachary, who had come to see me off, spoke gravely.

"Fia, given the nature of this incident, I have no choice but to report it to Commander-in-Chief Savis. ...But I'll carefully review what I include in the report. I won't let this work against you."

Hearing Commander Zachary's words, I realized again that, in the end, I had explained almost nothing.

In other words, Commander Zachary had very little information at present, and it would be extremely difficult to sort through it all and report to the Commander-in-Chief.

And yet, he was thinking of me and had come to reassure me even though the information hadn't been sorted out yet...

I couldn't help letting out a sigh.

...Sigh. Commander Zachary, you really are such a dashing man...