Chapter 18
Hmm... Something warm and soft is pressed against my face... What is this...? As I gradually came to my senses, I couldn't help but startle. My face was buried in unnie's breasts... I tried to pull my head away, but unnie was asleep and holding me close, so I couldn't.
'What...? My memory is hazy from getting that massage yesterday... I didn't make any strange noises, did I...?'
"Mmm... Jia..."
"Yeees..."
I didn't know whether she was talking in her sleep or had woken up, but I answered when unnie called my name.
"How was it? Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, I slept well because my body relaxed comfortably thanks to you, unnie."
Unnie released me with a goofy smile, and I pulled free from her chest with a bright-red face. Maybe I slept better because it was so soft and warm, but I was terribly embarrassed. If I'd lived as a woman from the beginning, I might have acted naturally... but unfortunately, I hadn't. Maybe I would after a year, but for now, this was far too stimulating...
"Mmmmmm~"
The way unnie stretched today... looked a little erotic. It was probably an aftereffect of my body running hot yesterday... Even my lower abdomen felt strange, as if some of yesterday's lingering sensation remained. Fortunately, unnie had given me a thorough full-body massage yesterday, so I was able to sleep deeply without pain.
How was I supposed to accept this? My body was no longer male, but mentally, I was still attracted to women. But I knew... Unlike in a fictional world, this society didn't look favorably on that sort of thing between people of the same sex. And since unnie was a woman, she naturally liked men too, right?
'Even the reason I call an older woman unnie is because of my body's outward appearance...'
I wasn't doing this deliberately, nor was it something I could control, so... there was nothing I could do but accept the situation as it was.
"Yaaawn... I'm sleepy..."
"Do you want to sleep a little longer, Jia?"
Saying that, unnie pulled me into her arms once more. She was warm and soft, and having something soft pressed against my face... made me feel like a little child, so I quietly let her hold me and closed my eyes. Unnie stroked me too, seemingly settling down to sleep again. How many minutes had we slept like that? The phone rang, forcing us to wake up.
"Mmm... Hellooo..."
[Ms. Jiyeon? Were you asleep?]
"I suppose we were... Jia was so soft and warm that... I hugged her and fell back asleep..."
[I'm glad you slept well. What time should I come today?]
"Hmm~ Once two beauties wash up and get ready... you can set out in two hours."
[Understood. I'll call once more when I set out.]
"Yeees~ See you later~"
After the call ended, unnie stretched once more and got out of bed.
"Is something happening today..?"
"Oh, right. Did I not tell Jia? Today we're going to your old home to bring back the personal belongings besides the things Minsu packed for you last time."
"Ah, aha... I see..."
This is strangely embarrassing... Minsu was a man, so of course he'd probably understand most of it, but most of the personal things in that house wouldn't fit who I was now. I felt as embarrassed as a girl who had to show a man her sanitary pad.
"He's setting out in two hours, so let's wash up right away."
"Yes."
Unnie took my hand and headed for the shower as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Wasn't she embarrassed? She was undressing naturally in front of me, even with her back turned... For me, it was far too...
"Jia? You need to undress too, right?"
"Y-Yes..."
I was embarrassed to undress in front of her too, so I turned my back and took off my clothes. About fifty minutes later, we dried ourselves, put on our underwear, and dried our hair. My damp hair tickled my back, creating a strange sensation, but I would get used to this too. Once we had dried and styled our hair and gotten fully dressed, Minsu called.
"Hello~"
[Yes, Ms. Jia. Are you ready to go out?]
"Yes, unnie and I are all ready."
[I'll be there soon. Haven't you had breakfast?]
"No, not yet. Drying our hair took a while."
[Understood. If it's all right with you, shall I bring some burgers for breakfast?]
"What about you, unnie?"
"Hmm~ I like anything as long as I can eat it with Jia!"
[Then I'll bring breakfast burgers.]
Minsu ended the call, saying he would be there soon.
A breakfast set probably wouldn't leave me too uncomfortably full, but if I ate the whole thing, I probably wouldn't be able to eat lunch... Still, I was hungry right then, so I had no intention of refusing and decided to enjoy it.
Twenty minutes later, Minsu arrived, and we started eating our burger sets.
“Huh? The filling is more generous than in the ones I usually buy?“
”Haha, they usually make them pretty carelessly.“
”So when we get there, do I just need to pack my personal belongings?“
”Yes, just pack anything that would be awkward to show other people.“
Sitting around together and eating breakfast felt like the first real taste of family warmth I'd had in a long time. Oh, right—we'd also planned to go to the shopping mall... Would I be able to find a suitable padded jacket in January?
“Shall we set out right away?”
“Uh... unnie is coming too, right?”
“Of course. Why? Do you have some sort of secret item there?”
“I-It isn't that, but... what if we find something tucked away in a corner, and I don't even know when I put it there...”
“It's fine. I won't pay attention.”
We then drove in Minsu's car to the studio apartment where I used to live. Fortunately, no one else seemed to be there... Huh? Those guys... Aren't they from the TV station? Why were those rude bastards in front of my home...?
“Haa... It seems the residents we ran into last time must have tipped off the broadcasting station.”
“I-I suppose so... How could they do something like that when they don't even know anything...?”
“Jia, let's go to the shopping mall first.”
“Yes, I think we should.”
We had no choice but to retreat.
*
We came to the shopping mall because, although I had padded jackets, I didn't have one I could wear and zip all the way up. I'd gotten by with a thin padded jacket even in autumn, partly because I had no occasion to wear a coat then, and partly because I hadn't been interested in buying clothes and rarely did so.
"Hmm~ What kind of padded jacket would suit our Jia~?"
"It just needs to zip up..."
Even among the jackets that zipped up, many made my chest feel constricted, so I tried them on one by one and zipped each one all the way before finally finding a single jacket that fit. I could have bought one online, but some things could only be known by trying them on in person. In fact, I hadn't even been in this body for a month, so I had no way of knowing what would fit and where.
"I'm glad we found one that fits Jia, aren't you?"
"But the price..."
"Oh, don't worry about the price~ If you wear something too big, it'll make you look bulky. We need to get Jia something pretty that doesn't feel tight."
"Yeees..."
The jacket was a little too expensive to ignore the price... but with unnie insisting so strongly, it felt awkward to refuse. We decided to wait until the TV station gave up and left. My family and a handful of friends had heard a rough version of the news (slightly fabricated, but still), so they knew I was alive and wouldn't report me missing.
'If I think of it that way, even if people from the same building reported me... the report wouldn't have been accepted, so did they tip off the broadcasting station instead?'
They were truly people whose very existence was a nuisance. Now they didn't even go to the scene themselves, sitting comfortably somewhere else and talking while claiming to be connecting to a reporter at the scene... Even though they knew people called them "trash reporters," they grew lazier and lazier, until they just clicked and grabbed posts from online communities to get their material for free. And was every other kind of broadcast besides the news any better? Of course not...
In any case, I felt sick just knowing they had come looking for me, and I wanted to sue them. But we had to kill time somehow, so we headed to the ice cream shop in the mall.
"What flavor of gelato do you want, Jia?"
"Hmm... Chocolate, please."
Unnie ordered strawberry, and Minsu ordered vanilla. We sat down and considered what to eat for lunch.
"Japanese food sounds nice for a change."
"Sushi? Or ramen?"
"I could have eaten both before... but I'll go with sushi."
After choosing Japanese food, we decided to head back home. More than an hour had passed, so they should have left by now. It wasn't as if they would wait for over an hour over something as minor as a tip that nobody had returned to an empty house.
*
There was hardly anything for us to put on the news, and yet we had to come out and follow a tip like this...? Someone had reported that a woman had come to a house where a man lived alone, but the man hadn't returned and only the woman had been seen.
"Haa... What kind of tip is this?"
"Exactly... Maybe the guy ran off after cheating on someone or something."
We couldn't believe it, but someone higher up had said, 'Go take a picture of the woman, at least. They say someone heard crying too, so who knows—maybe there's even an assault case involved.' True to form for those horny old bastards, hearing the residents say that the woman was beautiful had them ordering us to take pictures... The country had ended up in this mess because trash like that held power...
"But, senior, it's been over an hour. Can't we just leave?"
"Haa... I thought this should be enough too, but when I called, they told us to stick around for another six hours."
"What?? We're not civil servants, and this isn't a stakeout investigation, haha! This is insane, senior."
"That's what I'm saying..."
No matter how long we waited, we didn't see a person, let alone the woman, so we decided to find the residents who had made the report. Since it was the weekend, they might be home.
"Huh? Excuse me!"
"Yes? Are you the person who made the report?"
"Ah, yes. I reported it."
I swallowed my rising irritation and listened to the informant. A few nights earlier, while returning home, he had found a woman crying on the first floor of the building and comforted her, telling her to go inside since it was late. The woman had then entered Room 307, which had been empty ever since the man living there was taken to the emergency room.
"It seemed suspicious, so I asked what was going on. Her eyes were extremely red, and she said she'd come to pick up some belongings the man had asked her to get..."
"Something bad might have happened, sure. But we're not the police, you know? We don't have the right to go around investigating things like that. We're just civilians."
"I thought it might be..."
"But we can't just leave either, because the people above us are making a fuss and demanding we bring back a picture... Do you have any other information?"
*
I was utterly shocked. Even after so much time had passed, those people from the broadcasting station were still camped out there. Even public officials or the police wouldn't be allowed to do that without a legitimate reason... and ordinary broadcasting-station employees were doing it?
"M-Minsu..."
"Yes."
"It seems the residents thought I was suspicious and reported me... What should I do...?"
"I've spoken to someone I know, so this will be dealt with soon."
No sooner had he said that than police appeared and arrested the broadcasting-station reporters. Apparently, they were taken in for inciting public anxiety and causing a noise disturbance. The reporters were dragged away shouting, 'Fuck, you should be arresting the higher-ups, not me!!!'
"Jia, are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine."
"You're lying."
"What?"
I looked up at unnie in surprise.
"Jia, your voice is trembling, and your whole body is shaking... You don't look fine at all."
"I guess I was scared without realizing it... Seeing the broadcasting station come all the way here looking for me brought back some... bad memories."
Once I realized I was trembling, I could feel my body shaking all over. It was similar to the fear I had felt before... I was afraid of unfamiliar men, imagining that someone might force me to do something and that I would no longer be able to shake them off. Before, whether a man made eye contact with me or picked a fight, I'd just think, 'What the fuck is wrong with this bastard?' and let it pass without giving it much thought...
"It'll be all right. I'll make sure they never come anywhere near you again."
"Thank you, Minsu..."
Minsu was the only man I could trust right now, which made me even more grateful. Just a week ago, I had been a man too... It made me angry somehow. People often say that women are afraid to walk alone at night, and I thought I was beginning to understand why. Unless someone was an athlete, it would be extremely difficult to overpower a man physically. If a man kept following behind you on the road, it was more than enough to make you afraid.
After everyone from the broadcasting station was taken to the police station, the three of us—Minsu, unnie, and I—went into the house. It was a familiar place, but one that shouldn't have been familiar... the home that contained my past.
"Since I lived alone, I don't think I have anything hidden away."
"Then let's dispose of all the documents and books.
I nodded at unnie's words. I'd already thrown away all my clothes, and there wasn't much else to take... perhaps the personal computer I'd used. We decided to dispose of everything else. After thinking it over a few times, I concluded that moving the things from this house would only give people who wanted to trace me more leads, without offering any benefit.
"I was thinking of taking the computer too... but it doesn't really have any data on it, so I think we should have everything in the house disposed of."
"Then I'll make arrangements to have everything taken care of."
Minsu agreed with me and said that, although it couldn't be helped, disposing of everything was the best option for now. The mood had grown heavy, so we immediately left to go eat sushi.
*
Lately, nothing but bad things had been happening to Jia. She had run into two notorious criminals in succession, then collapsed while meeting and explaining things to Minsu's ex-girlfriend... After that, she had gone to the hair salon and ended up hospitalized again... It was painful just to watch.
'And today, even stalking by a broadcasting station...?'
Jia said she was fine, but she didn't look fine at all. While we sat in the car waiting for the reporters to be taken away, she looked like a herbivore trembling in hiding near a predator.
"Jia, are you all right?"
I asked Jia carefully, even though anyone could see that her whole body was trembling...
"Yes, I'm fine."
Jia said that, despite clearly not being fine. Her body was shaking, and even her voice trembled, Jia...
"You're lying."
When I said that, Jia seemed startled, perhaps because I'd said something so negative.
"What?"
Jia cautiously raised her head and met my eyes, like a child being scolded by a bad adult. Only when I told her that she was trembling did she finally tell me how she really felt. I had never found Minsu's shoulders as broad and dependable as I did today.
When we went inside Jia's home afterward, it was mostly empty. She said she'd thrown away all her clothes herself, but how hard must it have been for her to confront and deny her own past...? I had secretly worried that, if Jia was deeply attached to her belongings, taking them back might make things difficult for her. Fortunately, she said we should dispose of all the furniture and belongings in the house.
"Then how about we go see a movie, just to change your mood?"
"Will there even be seats available? It's the weekend...?"
"People don't go to the movies much these days, so there should be seats. Minsu is coming too, so you'll be safe."
I said that and glanced at Minsu. He gave a small nod, as if he understood what I meant. I texted Minsu, and we booked a premium movie theater to cheer Jia up.
"Wow... This is a movie theater?"
"It's more comfortable than a regular theater because fewer people are allowed in."
It seemed to be Jia's first time in a theater like this. Well, in an age when most people watched movies on OTT services, those who paid a huge amount to come to a theater like this were probably here more to change their mood than for the movie itself. We were the only customers anyway, so we bought popcorn, hot dogs, and various other snacks, shared them, and watched a gentle romance film.
*
I was startled. I'd occasionally seen advertisements for movie theaters with separate, private seating, but this was my first time in such a luxurious theater, so I couldn't help worrying about the price... Still, unnie was smiling brightly, and Minsu, who always took such dependable care of me, seemed even more reassuring today.
"We're the only customers here?"
"Maybe because it's Saturday afternoon. There might be more people at night."
I didn't know, so I nodded at unnie's words.
"Ms. Jia, what would you like?"
"Pop...corn, I guess?"
"All right. Since we haven't eaten that long ago, it would be best to get some snacks."
"When you say snacks... Is there a separate meal menu too?"
"Not always, but some places offer cooked meals as well."
Minsu's words startled me. People said Korea was a great place to live if you had money, and this made me understand that a little more.
"For me... a small popcorn and one hot dog would be enough."
"All right. Jiyeon and I will go get them, so please wait a moment."
"Yes~ Have a good trip~"
All I could do was thank them, so I smiled and waved as I saw them off.
"Hmm... Jia only said that much, but Minsu must be hungry too. Should we buy a little more?"
"Sounds good. Sushi wasn't enough for me, actually."
So Jiyeon and Minsu returned to Jia carrying a huge haul: popcorn, hot dogs, nachos, chicken, sotteok skewers, and all sorts of drinks...
"...Are we really going to eat all of this?"
"Yep. Minsu said lunch wasn't enough, so we bought a lot."
"Wow... I've never seen this many snacks before."
Unnie and Minsu came back carrying all kinds of snacks, and we ate them happily while watching the movie... Was it normal to get excited watching a romance film? For some reason, I felt a slight warmth in my lower abdomen as I watched it with unnie. Was it because I'd watched a genre I never watched before? Minsu sitting beside me looked so dependable. 'And... unnie looked even prettier too...'