Chapter 24
A few days after the party, I saw a shocking news report. A group consisting of just over forty people had been caught drugging women they brought in, using and discarding them, and distributing drugs.
"C-Could it be that organization...?"
No matter how I thought about it, that organization seemed to be the one those people who had approached me belonged to. Their faces were mosaicked, but I could recognize the two people who had come up to me. Feeling uneasy, I immediately contacted Mr. Minsu.
'I just saw the news... These are the people from that organization, right?'
'It seems you recognized some of them. Yes, they are.'
Mr. Minsu called me thirty minutes later and told me something quite shocking...
[This may be a little shocking for you to hear, Ms. Jia, but everyone in that organization will be erased.]
"What do you mean, erased?"
[We can't make it as though they never existed, but we can make it look as though they've gone missing.]
"Then that means..."
[As I told you last time, to put it simply, they won't survive. It may seem like a light punishment, but if even one of them survives, there will be more victims.]
"I understand, Mr. Minsu... Please don't get hurt."
[I'll come see you when everything is finished.]
"I'll be waiting."
After my call with Mr. Minsu ended, I looked down and saw that my hands were trembling violently. If my hands were shaking this badly, my voice must have been trembling too, but Mr. Minsu didn't mention it.
"What am I supposed to do now...?"
I spent ordinary days, waking up in the morning and eating with unnie, having lunch with her at the hospital or eating alone at home. Still, I always had dinner with unnie, so I never had to feel lonely or suffer, but...
*
'Mr. Han Jihoon, the graduation ceremony at OO University will be held on O month O. Please be sure to attend.'
...Was my university graduation already just around the corner? I had to go, but I couldn't go in this body. What was I supposed to do? The past I'd tried not to think about and had denied was drawing near.
"What's wrong, Jia? You look really anxious."
"Ah, unnie... It's just..."
It would be faster to show her the message than explain it in words. When I showed it to unnie, she understood and said, "Ah..."
"What do you want to do, Jia?"
"I... don't really want to go..."
"But your diploma is proof of all the effort you put in, isn't it?"
I fell into deep thought. Unnie was right, but couldn't I simply erase the traces of who I'd been before I became a person without an identity? I became deeply troubled. Was it right to go and say goodbye to myself?
'If you are unable to attend, please be sure to send a representative.'
Another message arrived, almost as though it were kicking away my hesitation and telling me that I absolutely had to go.
"Unnie... I think I have to go..."
"I suppose so... It says you absolutely have to send a representative. Should I go for you?"
"But the graduation ceremony is on a weekday... I can't cause trouble for you, unnie."
It wasn't as though unnie had to go, and I didn't want to interfere with her work because of me. I was reluctant, but I suppose I had to go...
"I should go. It's become something I have to do, so I'll go."
"Our Jia is so brave! That's right, Jia can do it. Let's stay strong!"
I was reluctant, but I suppose I had to go. Besides, no one would recognize me. Hyunwoo had gone to a different school, so there was no chance I'd run into him, and I hadn't had any university friends in the first place, so no one would take an interest in me. But I needed documents if I was going as a representative... and there was no one who could help me besides Mr. Minsu.
"Mr. Minsu, could you perhaps help me...?"
[Yes, what is it?]
"They said I have to attend my university graduation even if I'm only going as a representative, but the representative needs some documents..."
[When is the graduation ceremony?]
"Um, next Thursday."
[Then I'll prepare the documents and bring them to you by Wednesday.]
"Thank you."
After my call with Mr. Minsu ended, I breathed a sigh of relief and decided to put university matters out of my mind for a while and live as usual. Thinking about something painful over and over would only make it harder.
*
My name is Choi Yuna. I went to a restaurant with my family and was startled when I saw a certain girl. Though she was different from my mother in both age and appearance, seeing that girl who reminded me of Mom shocked me. She looked frail, as though she might be sick, and reminded me of my mother when she was rushed to the emergency room before she died. My father hadn't gone to the emergency room, saying he had important business.
"It's because Dad has important business to take care of, Yuna. I'm sorry. Minho will be there soon, so please hold on a little longer."
My father said that my brother would go in his place because he couldn't come due to his business.
"Then you'll come when they move her to a regular room, right?"
"Yes, I'll try."
...Of course, that was a lie too. He said something more important had come up with his business and that he couldn't come. My older brother, Minho, came and took care of our mother, but he was busy working all sorts of jobs because he had to earn living expenses due to the business my father had started, so he soon had to leave the hospital room.
"Yuna, don't hate your father too much. He says he really has something important to do."
"What could possibly be important about that damn business?! Mom ended up like this because of Dad!"
"But... he says he'll take responsibility for the debts from the business he started himself..."
Seeing my mother cough as she said that made me hate my father—or rather, my dad—even more. When her condition worsened, my mother called for him. She and my father had seemed quite close; they were so affectionate that the neighbors called them lovebirds. But that wasn't how they looked to me. My father was just a money-crazed lunatic who had abandoned his family, while my mother was a pitiful person who suffered because of him and worked herself ragged for my brother and me.
My mother could barely speak through her worsening pain, but she called for my father. He didn't even answer my calls. I hated him. I hated that man who was so obsessed with money. How obsessed with money did he have to be to keep looking for work without even stopping by the hospital when his wife was dying? Then my mother died... Even as she passed away, she called for my father until the very end, but he never came.
He came before the funeral began, but rather than grieving, he seemed annoyed that my mother's death had forced him to leave the company. Even when company employees came to the funeral, he said things only a garbage human being would say, like, "I'll leave as soon as this is over, so wait for me a little."
"I'm sorry, Yuna. But Dad took responsibility and finished everything, so at least the money..."
After the funeral was completely over, I knocked away the hand my father extended toward me.
"What the fuck does that money matter?! Mom died alone because of you!!"
"Yuna! What do you think you're doing?!"
With a loud 'smack!' my head snapped to the side. My brother had lost his temper and struck me across the cheek.
"Yuna, you crossed the line just now. I'm not taking Dad's side."
"Then why...?"
"No matter how much you hate him, he's still our father. You're still a minor, so you have to live with him for now."
My brother told me to leave it to him and fought with my father in my place. After the funeral, on the way out of the hospital to the parking lot, my brother slammed my father against a car and threw punches at him. He must have been busy working, but I didn't know when he'd found time to exercise; he looked quite strong.
"Whew... You fucking devil bastard. Someone like you isn't a father. You're a devil created by money—or rather, something even beneath a devil."
My father lay there, his body a complete mess, without even trying to get up, and simply apologized. Whether he was sad that Mom had died, since he was technically human, or in pain from my brother's beating, he shed a few scant tears.
'Yuna, I'm sorry. I'll work hard and save up money, so once you become an adult, let's live together. Cut ties with that piece of trash.'
It was a message from my brother. Since I was still a minor, my father was my guardian as long as he was alive. That was last year, and after six long months had passed, my brother came to the house.
"Yuna, have you been well?"
"Yeah, more or less... I guess the business wasn't a lie, since he has more money now..."
"I see..."
My brother still had dark circles under his eyes and looked exhausted. His face showed a little of our mother's, the face of someone who had worked herself to the bone because of the debts our father had created.
"...Minho, you're here."
"......I'm sorry for my unfilial behavior."
My brother said that while looking at our father with a face trembling with anger. Unfilial behavior was often treated as a serious crime, regardless of the reason. Our father hadn't tried to kill his child, and my brother's assault had been rather severe... though it had felt satisfying. My brother and I thought our father had killed our mother, so we didn't consider it unfilial, but society saw it differently.
"Give me your account number, Minho. You deserve compensation for all the trouble you've gone through."
"I sent it by text."
I later learned that my father had sent my brother hundreds of millions of won. He had apparently paid off all the debts our family had incurred too, so I suppose it wasn't a lie that his business had succeeded.
*
"Huh?"
Then Yuna saw the girl at a restaurant she had visited with her family for the first time in a long while. The girl, whose name she didn't know and whose face she had never seen before, seemed to be visiting a place like this for the first time. She looked around and met my eyes, then turned away in surprise like a child.
"I want to meet her..."
I didn't know where she lived or what her name was, so I never ran into her again after that day. But Yuna would meet the girl again not far from there.
*
"Thank you, Mr. Minsu!"
"It was nothing, haha."
As promised, Mr. Minsu brought me the documents on Wednesday. If I took them and showed them to the university, I could attend the graduation ceremony as a representative. Jiyeon unnie couldn't come because she had work, but she promised to buy me something delicious that evening.
"Unnie will definitely hug Jia tomorrow evening and buy her something delicious too, okay? I'm sorry I can't go to the graduation ceremony with you."
"It's okay. Since I'm not related to Han Jihoon on paper... it would probably be an uncomfortable place for me to attend anyway."
"All right. Thank you for being so considerate."
I held unnie's hand tightly as I spoke. She squeezed my hand too and smiled warmly. Mr. Minsu said he'd pick me up the next day and told me to get ready and contact him.
And the next day.
"Yes, Mr. Minsu. I'm all ready."
[I'll be there soon. Please wait just a little.]
After the call ended, Mr. Minsu arrived shortly afterward and rang the doorbell. When the door opened and he saw me, he seemed a little surprised. Unnie had helped me put on some light makeup, but had I overdone it?
"Are you all right, Mr. Minsu?"
"Ah, yes. I'm fine. Your makeup looks really lovely."
"Since it's a graduation ceremony, people will be watching, so... I only put a little around my eyes."
Honestly, I looked fine even without makeup, but my eyes seemed a little plain even after I applied basic skincare products, so on a day like this I put a little makeup around the corners of my eyes. 'Sigh... I've really become a woman now...' Realizing how accustomed I was becoming to makeup, I thought that I really had become a woman.
"Let's leave right away."
"Ah, yes!"
I wasn't sure whether Mr. Minsu had changed cars or owned another one, but he had brought a luxury sedan instead of an SUV.
"Please sit in the back seat."
"Huh? But there are only two of us..."
"Today is a special day just for you, Ms. Jia. You may sit in the back."
It felt rude to refuse Mr. Minsu's kindness, so I accepted and sat in the back seat. The car was incredibly quiet and had a smooth ride. It must have been expensive...
"Thank you for driving me, Mr. Minsu. I'll call you when it's over!"
"Yes, I'll be nearby."
After saying that, Mr. Minsu drove away, and I headed toward the graduation venue with heavy steps.
"Are you the representative?"
"Ah, yes. Here are the documents."
The entrances for representatives and graduates were separated, but apparently people ignored the signs and entered wherever they pleased. The staff member managing entry had given up and was asking each person whether they were a graduate, one by one. After showing my representative documents and entering the auditorium, I sat down and waited for the ceremony to begin when...
"Excuse me."
"...?"
Was someone calling me...?
"Excuse me!"
Huh? But that was a woman's voice, not a man's...? Everyone who had approached me saying, "Excuse me," had been men... Were they having women approach people now to lure them in?
"Over here, over here."
I looked toward the hand touching my shoulder and saw that the girl sitting beside me was calling me.
"W-Who are you...?"
"My name is Choi Yuna. What about you?"
"A-Adults told me not to talk to strangers."
"I see..."
The girl who had introduced herself as Choi Yuna seemed a little disappointed and quietly faced forward. Had I been too harsh? No, there was nothing wrong with being careful around strangers. 'But my lower abdomen had been aching a little for a while, and then something hot started oozing out in lumpy waves, making my panties feel uncomfortably damp...' Was this... that? Had it started right in the middle of my graduation ceremony?!
"Ugh, my stomach hurts..."
It was my first period, so my lower abdomen seemed to hurt especially badly. I was so conscious of it that I couldn't sit still and was rubbing my stomach when...
"Did it start?"
The girl named Yuna, sitting beside me, spoke to me.
"Huh? Y-Yeah... I didn't bring anything, and it started..."
I hadn't brought a sanitary pad and hadn't imagined it would start today, so I answered in a panic.
"Let's go to the bathroom together. I'll lend you one."
"Huh? Yes, thank you..."
Yuna took my hand and led me out of the auditorium toward the bathroom. Fortunately, Jiyeon unnie had told me to carry spare panties in case it started without warning, and I was glad I had brought a cheap handbag with a pair inside.
'I should have listened when unnie told me to bring sanitary pads, ugh...!'
Thankfully, Yuna lent me a sanitary pad, though it was a small one, probably because she was a little smaller than me.
"Thank you, Yuna."
I should at least thank her. I would have to change it as soon as I got home...
"Can you tell me your name?"
Yuna asked me my name, but I couldn't tell her.
"I'm sorry, but I have my reasons... I can't tell you. Thank you for helping me."
I felt truly sorry, but I figured there was no good reason for her to know my name, and my new identity hadn't been completed yet anyway.
*
After the graduation ceremony ended, I left the auditorium and visited the department office to receive my diploma before heading back toward the school entrance. Just as I thought, 'I should call Mr. Minsu,' I felt someone following behind me. When I turned around, I saw the girl named Yuna from earlier.
"Excuse me..."
"It makes me uncomfortable when you follow me so closely..."
"Okay..."
Yuna seemed disappointed for some reason, then turned around and walked away.
"Thank you for helping me today!!"
I felt sorry, so I called out my thanks once more in a loud voice.
"Yes, Mr. Minsu. The graduation ceremony is over, and I've come out to the entrance."
I walked a little farther and called Mr. Minsu in front of the university gate.
[I'm nearby. I'll be there soon.]
"Yes, thank you."
Once I realized my period had started, I felt extremely uncomfortable and miserable. I didn't feel well either and just wanted to get home and sleep. Mr. Minsu must have noticed the smell, but he drove me home without saying anything.
"Take care of yourself and get plenty of rest."
"Yes, thank you. Goodbye!"
Mr. Minsu must have noticed after all. He was such a kind and considerate person.
"Jia, you're home? ...It looks like it started today."
"Yes... It started during the graduation ceremony, but the girl sitting beside me lent me one, so I changed and put on a pad."
"It was a little too small for you, wasn't it? If it's too small, it might leak, so let's change it right away."
After gently washing the stained area with water, I changed to a larger pad and left the bathroom. Then unnie taught me a few things.
"Did you put it on properly? Peel off the adhesive backing, line it up with your panties, and attach it. You have to keep changing it, so change it every three or four hours, or sooner if it feels like there's too much."
I was a little embarrassed, so I nodded at unnie with my head bowed deeply.
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Every woman goes through it."
"Yes..."
Honestly, I was incredibly embarrassed. It had to start in the middle of my graduation ceremony... What if everyone around me had smelled it too? My lower abdomen hurt in a different way from during my ovulation period, so I decided to lie on the bed with a hot pack.
"It's almost dinnertime, Jia. What do you want to eat?"
"Just a moment."
I answered while picking up my phone and opening a delivery app. 'Hmm... For some reason, I feel like I want something sweet, and I also feel like eating some kind of Korean street food...'
"Tteokbokki?"
Unnie looked at me and said it as though she were certain.
"Uh... I think I do feel like eating tteokbokki."
I tilted my head and answered.
"You're craving sweet desserts too, aren't you?"
"Yes... How did you know...?"
Could unnie really read my mind?
"Haha, everyone feels that way~"
...I guess it wasn't just unnie; most women felt that way too. That must be why the top three foods for women were tteokbokki, chicken feet, and malatang... I had tried chicken feet before, but they were awkward to eat and off-putting, so I didn't want them. As for malatang, it made me feel as though my past were being torn apart all over again, so I didn't want that either. That left only tteokbokki... Tteokbokki was Korea's national food, so I absolutely wasn't craving it because I was a woman!
'Yes, I absolutely haven't become strange. That's right.'
Afterward, I spent a happy day eating tteokbokki, soondae, and assorted fried food that unnie ordered. I also felt good when unnie pulled me tightly into a hug. Her embrace was truly, truly... warm and comforting. Just like my mother's embrace...