Chapter 43
As I slowly opened my eyes, it was already morning, and I had slept in the same bed as Jiyeon unnie.
'Oh, right... I must have fallen asleep while watching the movie yesterday.'
Hmm... I think I collapsed toward Mr. Minsu and fell asleep... What if I made him uncomfortable? I should apologize after gauging his reaction.
"Did you sleep well, Jia?"
"Yes... I fell asleep way too early, didn't I?"
"You must have been tired. It's not good to force yourself to endure things."
Unnie said that as she got up and started preparing breakfast. I still didn't feel like getting up, so I lay in bed killing time on my phone, when I heard Minsu's voice from the living room. Huh? Was he going to eat breakfast before leaving?
"Oh my, you're already up?"
"I'm a little tired, but I should get up early."
Unable to satisfy my curiosity, I had no choice but to sit at the table when Unnie called me over after setting out breakfast. Just as I was about to ask her near the end of the meal, she spoke first.
"Jia, Minsu will be staying here for the weekend. Is that all right?"
"Huh? Wasn't it you who invited Mr. Minsu, Unnie?"
"That's true, but... I don't want Jia to feel uncomfortable."
"I'm fine, but did something happen?"
What could have happened for Mr. Minsu to stay at our house over the weekend? Unnie only vaguely said that it was to protect me. Something seemed to be going on... Was it to guard against something happening to my body? There was no point bringing that up aloud, so I decided to keep quiet.
"If you're uncomfortable, Ms. Jia, I'll just eat breakfast and leave."
"Ah, no! You don't have to do that just because of me."
I hurriedly changed the subject, bowed my head, and quietly focused on moving my spoon and chopsticks. I absolutely wasn't embarrassed because I was thinking about yesterday. It was just because Minsu was right in front of me... right?
"What time are you leaving, Jiyeon?"
"It was a sudden appointment... but I think I'll leave before noon."
Aha, so Unnie had made plans... She probably thought leaving me home alone at this point was dangerous. It wasn't that serious, but being alone at home would be better for relieving my urges... ehehe... When I got that far, I slapped both my cheeks. After finishing the dishes, Unnie and I decided to talk briefly about what had happened earlier in the bedroom.
"I suddenly made plans with some friends, and it's difficult to leave you home alone, Jia, so I'm sorry if this made you uncomfortable."
"No, Unnie. I know how much you care about me, so how could I be uncomfortable?"
"I did think you'd be more comfortable alone, but I couldn't help feeling uneasy."
"Th-that makes sense..."
Even I didn't know what might happen to me, so I did need some insurance. Yesterday had turned out well, but I couldn't assume there would never be any problems in the future. Unnie got dressed and left before it got too late, and I began thinking about lunch with Minsu.
"I'm heading out. Jia, Minsu, you two have to get along, okay? Don't fight."
"Come on, as if that would happen, Unnie."
"Of course. Jia and I are on very good terms."
Only after Minsu and I reassured Unnie in perfect unison—even as she continued worrying about us on her way out—did she smile brightly and leave. When she left and the door closed, Minsu and I looked at each other awkwardly.
'Even so, we weren't that close... Did I overreact?'
Once I thought about it, I worried that I might have been rude to Minsu, but he seemed to be smiling slightly and didn't look upset. Thank goodness... But now that Minsu and I were alone together, my body began to stir, as if it were about to send me a signal.
"Jia, what should we have for lunch?"
"Th-that... I suppose? Hahaha, what should we eat for lunch?"
"Is something wrong?"
"Umm... my body isn't really cooperating..."
"I see... If you need me, let me know. I'll step out."
Minsu must have known everything. He wasn't oblivious, and he had smelled that odor yesterday too... He knew about me, so he must have understood exactly what I was trying to say. My embarrassment was the only problem... Anyway, what should we have for lunch? Breakfast had been a light meal, so maybe I should eat something red? I immediately opened a delivery app and began looking through the restaurants near our home.
"Huh? This place is gone?!"
"What happened?"
"There was a restaurant I liked, but it's gone... They had generous portions and were really good, but I can't tell whether they stopped delivering or the restaurant went out of business..."
"How about kimchi-jjim?"
"Oh, I was thinking about kimchi-jjim too."
Was Minsu and I unexpectedly on the same wavelength? We had both been thinking about kimchi-jjim. It had been my second choice, but it still felt good and strange that our thoughts had matched. I wonder how long we waited. Perhaps there weren't many orders, because the kimchi-jjim arrived earlier than expected. By the time I unpacked it, it was already nearly one o'clock.
"Mmm~ This place is pretty good, isn't it?"
"I'm glad you like it."
After we finished our delicious meal and cleaned up, the same old urge began creeping up on me. If I just held out until Monday, it would be over, right? Yeah, it would be rude to burden the man who had come to protect me, so I should just endure it.
*
I agreed to help because Jiyeon said she was worried about Jia, but... Even so, it didn't seem right for a man and a woman to be alone in the same house... Jiyeon had left for a sudden lunch appointment, leaving only Jia and me.
"Mr. Minsu, should we settle on what to call each other?"
"How we address each other?"
"Yes. You're even older than my original self, and it feels strange for you to keep speaking formally to me... How should I put it..."
"It might feel awkward. We won't be able to change everything at once, but shall we work it out gradually?"
It was probably time to settle things. I was older than Jia had been before, and calling each other by our names with -ssi felt distant, so I had been wondering what to do as well. Given our ages, I should speak informally, while Jia would probably call me... oppa, perhaps...?
"Is something wrong?"
"Huh? Oh, am I?"
"Your face is a little flushed..."
"I'm fine, Jia."
"Just call me Jia. Since I'm younger, speak informally to me."
"O-okay, Jia."
It was rather awkward. We'd been living together for nearly four months, so it was time to settle on how we addressed each other... It was necessary since we'd be in each other's lives for a long time, but it was still embarrassing to suddenly switch from stiff forms of address to softer ones.
"Haha, this is a little embarrassing..."
"For me too, Minsu... oppa..."
"Cough, cough! Wh-what did you say...?"
"When a woman calls an older man, shouldn't she call him... oppa?"
"I suppose that's true...?"
"It's a little embarrassing, but we need to get used to it so we don't make awkward mistakes or attract strange looks later. So I'll call older men oppa and older women unnie."
"Hang in there, Jia. I'll try my best too."
"Yes, let's both do our best."
It's a relief that we settled on how to address each other before it got any later, but... This was pretty embarrassing. Haha... Jia must have been incredibly embarrassed too, because she went into the bedroom and closed the door. I should go into my room too, right...?
*
My body heated up again. After I began addressing Minsu... no, Minsu oppa... as oppa, my body couldn't calm down, and the fire inside me lit up again.
"Just once, just once, then I'll go all out and be done."
In the end, I put a hand on my chest and relieved myself once. After cleaning up, I came out to the living room, feeling my body calm down. It had only been once, so it probably wouldn't smell too strong, right? Sigh... Doing this made me feel like a female animal in heat, which made me sad... Minsu... no, Minsu oppa must have gone into his room... He seemed to have taken extra care to be considerate of me again.
'This house is well soundproofed, but he must have felt embarrassed staying in the living room. I feel grateful and sorry at the same time... That's the kind of feeling this is.'
Ah! Unnie must be home. It was a relief that she came before things became even more awkward.
"Unnie~"
"Did you wait long, Jia?"
"I barely waited at all~ I was just with Minsu oppa..."
"Minsu oppa~?"
Unnie was grinning mischievously as though she had found a weakness to exploit. I realized my mistake and tried to muddle my words, but it was already too late. Unnie opened the bedroom door and asked Minsu directly—Mr. Minsu... no, Minsu oppa.
"What happened between you and Jia?"
"Jia... no, Jia and I settled on how we address each other."
"Was Jia the one who brought it up first?"
"Yes. She came to me and said that since we'd be in each other's lives for a long time, it would be better to settle things."
I had been eavesdropping with my ear against the door, and I suddenly worried that Jiyeon unnie might ask some strange questions, so I waited for the right moment to open the door and go in.
"Jia, I know you're in there. Come out?"
"I-I wasn't trying to eavesdrop..."
"So you were eavesdropping?"
"Ah, um..."
I bowed my head and couldn't say anything, but Unnie hugged me and said, 'Right, it was time to settle things. Good job!' I might smell right now, though. Would that be okay...?
"It's okay, Jia. I wasn't going to scold you. I just wanted to praise you."
"Really?"
"Yes. It was something we had to do eventually, and I'd been wondering when to bring it up."
Hearing Unnie say that, I felt a little relieved that I hadn't made a mistake. Minsu oppa smiled and said it was good that we had resolved things, since using stiff forms of address might have made us uncomfortable. But when I saw that smile, I felt strange again.
'Why is my heart...?'
Normally, even when I put my hand on my chest, I couldn't feel my heartbeat that strongly, but today it seemed much louder. Ugh... That face and that smile were unfair... I was already adapting to my body and having thoughts and feelings different from before, and that handsome face was forcing me to adapt even more... No, no! I was only adapting so people around me wouldn't stare strangely because of my appearance. I wasn't becoming feminized!
Would I ever fall in love with anyone? The feelings I'd experienced so far had been nothing more than signals from a body in heat. I had endured them, thinking they were part of the process of adapting to my body.
"Jia!"
"Yes?"
"You were spacing out. Are you feeling unwell?"
"No, it's not that... Unnie, could you talk something over with me?"
It was almost time for dinner, but before then, I wanted to sort out my feelings. After asking Minsu oppa to give us a moment, I took Unnie's hand and went with her to the bedroom, then opened my mouth.
"Unnie... I think something's wrong with me."
"Did your heart flutter when you saw Minsu?"
"...!!"
Embarrassed because she'd seen right through me, I covered my face and collapsed facedown onto the bed.
"It's okay, Jia. I think Minsu is handsome too. There's nothing strange about having feelings like that, so don't worry."
"But..."
"If you think of it as your body adapting, it's not strange, is it?"
"I suppose not. Unlike in the beginning, I don't feel anything anymore even when I look in the mirror while showering..."
It really was true. During the first few weeks, looking in the mirror had made me feel embarrassed and strange, but now, nearly four months later, I didn't feel anything in particular and simply went about my life naturally.
"If you're okay with it, shall we go somewhere tomorrow?"
"Where?"
"Somewhere you haven't been before... a baseball stadium?"
"That doesn't sound... bad, does it?"
Being stuck in the house wasn't ideal, and I had wanted to try watching a game while buying and eating various foods at least once, so I nodded. The last time I had gone to watch baseball with my school as part of a group, I had been annoyed and wanted to go home quickly, but thinking about going now didn't seem so bad.
"A baseball stadium?"
"Yes, the three of us—you, Jia, and me. Do you have plans tomorrow?"
"No, I don't, but... Will there even be seats?"
"There should still be some expensive premium seats available."
Unnie said that as she opened the reservation site. There really was one premium section left, an indoor seating area that was perfect for the three of us.
*
As expected, there are tons of people... It can't be helped on a Sunday afternoon. Anyway, the snacks look delicious. Hehe...
"Unnie will buy the drinks separately, so why don't you go on ahead with Minsu and get settled?"
"Yes!"
Minsu was probably already at our seats by himself. Maybe there was something I could help with too...
"Excuse me."
"Yes? Me?"
"Could I have your number?"
Ah, another strange man was hitting on me. Maybe he was just trying his luck, figuring there was no harm if I said no, but normally someone as good-looking as me would already have a boyfriend... Why did men keep trying to get my number? Still, since we were at a baseball stadium, he probably wouldn't do anything strange, right?
"N-no, thank you. I already..."
"Jia?"
"Oh, Minsu oppa!"
The man who had asked for my number was startled when I approached Minsu oppa. He sighed and turned away. Maybe Minsu oppa had given him a frightening glare. We weren't actually in a romantic relationship, but if it helped me shake off an annoying person, I supposed it was fine.
"I bought plenty so Minsu oppa could have some too."
"The game just started, so let's eat slowly."
"Yes, oppa."
...The word oppa seems to have become too familiar, but perhaps that's natural. With an appearance that anyone would find pretty, it would be awkward to keep addressing even people I knew with stiff -ssi honorifics forever. No matter how long I stared into the mirror, I was still a woman... Still, the word oppa was embarrassing.