I Got a Shamanic Reading on a Deserted Island

I stepped onto an unfamiliar forest path with Vitoria.

"How far is it?"

"It’ll take two hours."

That’s pretty far.

By the time we caught it and got back, the sun would already be setting.

We wouldn’t have time to properly explore the cave.

"Don’t worry about getting lost. I’ll escort you, boy."

"I’m fine. I can make it on my own."

I had Detection Magic, after all.

I didn’t need to make a point of memorizing the way. There was no risk of getting lost.

"You’re not scared at all—you’ve got guts. I’m glad I came to you for help after all."

"I’m happy to get some meat on a deserted island like this."

"Ha."

Vitoria scoffed.

"Well, maybe we’ll end up as its meat instead, you know?"

"Then you made the right call asking me for help, noona."

"Haha. I’m kidding. Actually, I like you quite a bit."

Her sudden confession left me speechless for a moment.

What a straightforward noona.

"If I impress you today, can I expect a special reward, noona?"

"A special reward? Of course."

Vitoria stopped, rummaged through her pocket, and pulled out something long and belt-like wrapped in silver-gray foil.

Looking closer, I realized it was a pile of condoms.

…Sex!?

Sex was the special reward!!?

Vitoria ran her tongue over her lower lip and asked me with a provocative look.

"If I let you have my first time today, how many could you use?"

I grabbed the whole pile of condoms without even checking how many there were.

"Oh."

Vito giggled at my bold display.

"Is that a bluff? Or are you confident?"

I wasn’t so pathetic that I’d waste time worrying about how many condoms I had in a situation like this.

No holding back!

I’m taking them all down today.

No one can stop Kim Woojin today!

"Keep those safe. I hope I get to use them on you, Korean."

"Of course."

Sex with a sexy Brazilian noona. Sex.

On an island like this, satisfying your sex drive is a serious issue, too.

What if another side of me, not the usual Kim Woojin, came out and pounced on someone?

I’d never force myself on anyone, no matter what—but you can never say never in this world.

I survived a plane crash, didn’t I?

There are more things in this world than you’d think that we can’t understand.

And among them, I’d choose a Brazilian noona’s magnificent ass.

"Whatever shows up, I’m ready to beat the hell out of it."

"I like that attitude. Good. This way."

How long had we been walking? I suddenly sensed someone nearby and readied a Wind Cutter.

"Wait."

The noona walking ahead raised a hand to signal me to stop.

"H-hup!"

What was that silly-sounding noise?

There was a woman standing before us.

A wild shaman appeared.

……

……?

It took me quite a while to process what I was seeing.

Why was there a shaman in the jungle?

I could understand that there were people here. The survivors had probably gone into the forest to find their own way to survive.

But her outfit was one thing—the crystal ball she was holding felt wildly out of place.

And it wasn’t as if I could sense anything mystical coming from her.

"Que porra é essa?(What the hell is that?)"

Vito noona said, looking baffled.

At a glance, she looked a lot younger than me.

Her shaman outfit looked like an awkward cosplay based on who knew what.

A closer look revealed that her props were shoddily made, too.

Wait, do Korean shamans use crystal balls?

What was this bizarre shaman?

Vito noona gripped the machete she’d been using to clear away branches.

The girl with the crystal ball saw it and cried out in a panic.

"Hello! Hello! N-no attack! I am human! Korean. Korean human!"

"Korean?"

"I-I’m a person! Not monster. Not ghost! No ghost! I… I’m shaman!"

Vitoria’s eyebrow twitched.

"Shaman?"

"Yes! Shaman! Korean shaman! Mudang! I do YouTube, too. I mean, I did! My subscribers… that’s not important right now."

Once she realized we were speaking Korean, Vito turned to me.

Looks like I’d have to talk to her.

"Hello."

"Eep…"

Why was she so scared of me?

"Don’t worry. I’m a Korean castaway, too. My name is Kim Woojin."

"N-nice to meet you. I’m Baek Miryeong."

So she was less a shaman than a nervous wreck…

That flashy look and those bizarre props seemed to be her YouTube persona—in other words, tools of the trade.

Her hair was obviously a wig, and her yellow eyes were colored contacts.

No wonder noona had been startled enough to reach for her knife.

She had a pretty unusual look. And her outfit was flashy, too…

……

……

Our conversation came to a complete stop.

I wasn’t the sort of person who could take charge and lead a conversation.

She didn’t seem to be, either.

Someone get me out of here!

"Ah… Miryeong! You can’t just go ahead without me. Huh?"

"Y-Yuna~."

A young woman wearing horn-rimmed glasses came pushing through the bushes behind her.

Were they both about college age?

The hoodie she wore showed off her cleavage. As expected, everyone was too hot to wear underwear.

"I’ve seen these Koreans before."

Vito said that.

Now that she mentioned it, I thought I’d seen them at the meat feast, too. Of course, back then she probably wasn’t wearing a white wig and colored contacts.

"I’m sorry. We startled you, didn’t we? Miryeong is my friend. I’m Cha Yuna."

"I’m Kim Woojin."

Why on earth were they wandering around the jungle dressed like that?

I was really curious.

"Are you… performing some kind of ritual?"

"Ahem…"

Yuna cleared her throat, embarrassed.

"It’s not like that. Miryeong is my friend from the same university. We were on a flight to Singapore to film content when we got stranded."

……Her friend was very articulate.

"So are you continuing to film content here?"

"Not exactly… Miryeong’s doing shamanic fortune-telling."

"What?"

She was telling fortunes?

At that, Miryeong started fidgeting with her crystal ball, putting on an act.

"I shall read your future~."

Vito only had to twitch her machete for Miryeong to get scared again and squeak.

"Eek!"

"It’s okay, noona. They’re both students."

"São duas estudantes?(They’re both students?)"

"Yes. And one of them is a shaman."

"E uma delas é…… xamã?(And one of them is… a shaman?)"

…So even Vito had people she just didn’t get along with.

A pair of Korean college students, one of them a shaman—it was a little strange to me, too.

"You’re… good at foreign languages."

Yuna looked at me with a hint of admiration.

She seemed to have mistaken me for some sort of erudite man.

Well, if I didn’t know magic existed, I’d have thought it was impressive, too.

Just walking around with a sexy Brazilian noona at my side made me seem like a pretty capable guy.

"A shamanic reading, huh…"

That’s kind of interesting.

There was such awesome content on a deserted island?

"Ah, please don’t misunderstand. We’re not going around scamming people or anything."

Yuna seemed to have misunderstood my meaningful muttering, so she hurried to explain.

"We just tell fortunes for people who are feeling anxious, and accept a small payment in return…"

Wouldn’t that count as a scam? I probably shouldn’t say that, right?

Korean shamanism might actually work, after all.

"This sounds pretty interesting."

For some reason, Miryeong’s cheeks turned red.

"Then could you read my fortune, too? A shamanic reading."

As for the offering… let’s see. Water would be best.

I pulled an empty water bottle out of my bag and filled it to the brim in one motion.

"I’ll give you this as an offering."

"Ah…!"

Yuna and Miryeong swallowed hard at the sight of the full bottle of water.

Their eyes changed right away. The other groups were probably always short on water.

"Then… Miryeong? Let’s read this gentleman’s fortune."

"O-okay. Come this way, young master."

"Young master…?"

That was a pretty old-fashioned expression.

"Ah, i-if you don’t like it…"

"It’s fine."

A shaman shouldn’t be this lacking in confidence.

She ought to bark at me, asking why I’d only come now. That’s part of the charm.

Miryeong seemed too shy even to meet my eyes.

"What are you doing?"

When Vito asked, Miryeong exaggerated her gestures and hurried to explain.

"Ah… I am Korean shaman. Traditional! Spirit… spirit service!"

"……"

Were they really college students?

I had that thought, then flinched. I’d graduated from college, too, and I couldn’t speak English!

I’d already started thinking like this just because I had a translation spell.

"It’s traditional Korean shamanism. Folk beliefs, spirits, rituals, that sort of thing."

After I explained, Vito put her machete away and nodded.

It seemed she’d finally accepted that they weren’t a threat.

With an outfit that flashy, you couldn’t blame her for being wary. Without an explanation, Miryeong looked like a lunatic.

"So, how does our fortune look?"

"Just a moment…"

Miryeong gripped her prop, the crystal ball, tightly.

Then she suddenly fell silent.

The girl who’d been trembling with a panicked look just moments ago seemed like a different person when she opened her eyes again.

Oh, that gave me the creeps a little!

Her eyes had changed completely.

"…O-Gok Spirit. O-Gok Spirit."

Who was she talking to?

"Sit."

"Pardon?"

"I said, sit down."

Here… on the dirt?

I was at a loss for words, but there was something strangely compelling about it. I couldn’t bring myself to refuse.

Her friend, Cha Yuna, who’d been watching, crouched down on the ground first.

Then I guess I’ll…

I plopped down on the ground.

Baek Miryeong set down the crystal ball and stared at me in silence for three minutes, then four.

Just as I was starting to think it’d be nice if she said something already,

Baek Miryeong stared straight at me and spoke.

"You’re going to have trouble with water in the near future."

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"Water will block your path, choke your breath, and trap you!"

Was this a fortune-telling or a curse?

"Then how can I avoid it?"

"You can’t. You can’t avoid it. Fate has already decided. You fool. Don’t try to escape what fate has decided. Great misfortune will befall you!"

"……"

So basically, don’t argue with her.

That was harsh……!

"Specifically, what if I stubbornly resist even though fate has decided it?"

"If you’re left alone on a rainy day, great misfortune will befall you. You might even lose your life."

……Ugh. I’d better stop listening.

"That’s enough, Miryeong…"

Yuna quietly tried to stop Miryeong.

Miryeong snapped out of her shamanic reading and flinched.

"Ah, w-what did I say?"

"You said some… pretty awful things to Mr. Woojin. I’ve never seen that happen before. I’m sorry."

"It’s all right. Fortunes can’t always be good, after all."

I was a little hurt, though.

I gave her water, which was damn precious, as her offering… O-Gok Spirit, why are you doing this to me?

"This is just for fun… right? Haha."

Yuna’s helpless attempt to laugh and lighten the mood was almost painful to watch.

Well, she’d just taken water from someone and cursed him, saying he was going to die.

Of course, I didn’t think it was anything worth getting angry over.

She was trying hard, after all. A cute college-student shaman.

More than anything, I thought the reading had missed the mark by a mile.

I could’ve understood if she’d said I’d have trouble because of fire, but water?

I was a wizard who had the Glyph of Water, wasn’t I?

"The spirit says I’m going to have a hard time because of water. So should I get the water I gave you as an offering back?"

When I said it jokingly, Yuna hugged the bottle of water to her chest and shifted her eyes uncertainly.

Miryeong looked just as troubled and seemed determined to protect the water.

"Y-young master… um…. It wouldn’t be right to take back an offering given for a shamanic reading."

"Will great misfortune befall me?"

"N-no, not great misfortune, but~~."

"I’m kidding."

I had no intention of taking back what I’d given them.

Yuna seemed relieved.

"Thank you…. T-the spirits make mistakes sometimes, too!"

Thanks for the desperate save, Yuna.

"What does Vito noona’s fortune say?"

"Hmm…"

Next up was Vito noona.

Miryeong focused on the crystal ball.

Vito crossed her arms and watched with a bored look, as if to see how good Miryeong really was.

"Ela vai falar com o espírito de novo?(Is she talking to the spirit again?)"

"Looks like it."

Vitoria tipped her chin up.

"Diga.(Tell me.)"

Miryeong’s shoulders shrank even further.

"U-um. Just a moment. O-Gok Spirit. Yes, this time it’s a foreigner. Yes, I don’t speak Portuguese, so."

Yes. That part is my fault, you’re right."

……

Something about the mood was different from before.

Miryeong gave Vitoria an awkward smile.

"Y-you are… strong woman."

"Strong?"

Vitoria’s eyebrow lifted slightly.

"Yes. Strong. Very strong. Body also strong. Mental also strong."

……

The mood was getting harder and harder to salvage. Her friend Yuna seemed unable to bear it, either, and lowered her eyes.

Come on, shaman, hang in there!

"But don’t try to do everything alone. It’s better to work together…."

Looking down at the crystal ball, she continued.

"You… don’t do everything alone. Friend, important. Teamwork important."

"……She says it’d be better for you to work with someone instead of alone."

"Oh."

Vito smiled, looking unexpectedly satisfied.

"I like that. Pretty accurate, actually."

……?!

This ridiculous fortune-telling really hit the spot for noona?!

"Here’s your payment. Eat."

With a rustle, Vito took out some fruit.

"T-thank you."

"Thank you!"

The two jumped to their feet and bowed repeatedly.

"You need friend! Team! Harmony!"

Miryeong had gained confidence in her fortune-telling and was talking enthusiastically.

"Então vocês vêm também?(Then are you coming, too?)"

"…She’s asking if you want to come along, noona."

"Huh? Where?"

Baek Miryeong’s face stiffened.

"Pardon?"

Cha Yuna answered a beat later, too.

Vitoria mimed drawing her machete and nodded toward the forest.

"A gente vai caçar.(We’re going hunting.)"

…I see.

She must have thought the fortune was spot on because it meant they’d gained two more companions.

"We’re going hunting."

When I translated that into Korean, the two of them went pale and shook their heads.

Shake, shake. Shake, shake.

"Não?(No?)"

"No! No hunting! I-I am shaman! Not hunter!"

"I-I’ll be cheering on your teamwork from a distance."

That was obviously a request that reeked of bloodshed.

Someone like me, a wizard, might join a hunting party, but that was too much to ask of two college girls.

Watching the two of them back away as if trying to flee, Vito gave a low laugh.

"Covardes.(Cowards.)"

It sounded less like an insult and more like she was amused and thought they were cute.

"Well, we’ll be going…!! See you again!"

I watched the shaman duo walk away.

"What did your reading say?"

"She told me to be careful around water."

"Water? Hmm. Guess it’s not something to take seriously after all."