Chapter 1
“This thing—! Let go!”
“Aaaagh, damn it!”
As expected of the elf queen, her grip strength is ridiculous.
No matter how hard I shook my leg to pry her off, she showed no sign of letting go.
Since I couldn’t do it with my own strength, I called in one of Meracle’s employees, Kimyang.
“Kimyang! Get in here!”
“Y-yes, boss?”
“Take this thing and haul it out! Throw it out of the building!”
“Y-yes? B-boss! This is a customer?”
“No! Not anymore! She was a senile old lady!”
“A-an old lady?”
Kimyang is a beastkin.
She’s from the 5th floor, but since we brought her over like a foreign worker, her speech in this language is a bit awkward.
Because of the sheep horns sticking up from her head and her fluffy white hair, I named her “Kimyang.”
“Throw her outside!”
“O-outside?”
“Agh, come on! I don’t want to! Let me see you do it! I want to go to a café with a young guy and eat cake! I’m even going to order a couple’s drink and try it!”
“Augh, Kimyang, what are you doing? Don’t you want your salary? Outside—!”
“O-outside! O-out! O-out!”
Kimyang immediately thrust her head forward and charged.
‘Ah, please—.’
Suddenly, it flashed through my mind like a life-flash: Kimyang’s salary was three days late.
Crash—bang!
* * *
“Ahem.”
In the end, I still hadn’t managed to chase off Elf Queen Lenea. Sitting cross-legged on the chair, she stared this way.
“I’m asking you for a favor. I heard Meracle is the best in this line of work. They say you never refuse a customer, no matter who comes.”
A sigh slipped out.
Even if I’m a competent matchmaker, what am I supposed to do with a 1,900-year-old grandmother?
“M-Meracle isn’t the best.”
“Kimyang?!”
Kimyang’s bombshell comment while serving tea.
I hurriedly tried to stop her, but it was already too late.
The elf queen, who’d lived 1,900 years and had keen hearing, didn’t miss it.
“Huh? No way. Back on the 4th floor where I was, Meracle is famous as the best.”
“The 4th floor doesn’t have cell phones. The 4th floor is full of barbarians.”
“Barbarians...”
She looked wronged, but it wasn’t untrue.
Unlike the 3rd floor, Earth, the 4th floor is a typical medieval fantasy world.
There are no relay stations, TVs, cell phones, or anything else, so information transfer is limited.
“So spread the word. Say Meracle is the best.”
“……”
Lenea glared at me with narrowed eyes.
Only then did she realize she’d been fooled.
“No wonder—! A mere office with only two rooms and just one foreign-worker employee?! For the best in the business, that’s absurdly lacking!”
“C-Cough. It’s not a lie. Compared to the matchmaking agencies on the 4th floor, we’re the best.”
“Because there are no matchmaking agencies on the 4th floor!”
You really hit the nail on the head!
Damn it.
I’d better hurry and put Kimyang’s salary into her account.
She really gets mouthy when she hasn’t been paid.
“But one thing, you’re not wrong about.”
“Not wrong? About what?”
“Meracle accepts every customer.”
Kimyang slowly backed away.
She bowed from the waist at ninety degrees.
“This is Meracle. We find your miracle across many worlds.”
“B-but... I was just trying to kick you out. I called you an old lady.”
“That’s the boss’s scheme. So we can charge more.”
“W-what?!”
Damn it, seriously.
Kimyang had ruined everything.
“B-boss’s scheme. F-fifteen people have s-said that so far.”
Because Kimyang’s speech is so awkward, I often end up thinking she’s stupid.
But Kimyang isn’t actually lacking in intelligence. She’s just awkward with the language of the 3rd floor, Earth.
“Ha! This is ridiculous.”
Lenea jumped to her feet.
“You deceived a customer? So you really were a scam artist? Yeah, I had a bad feeling the moment I saw your face.”
“As expected of a 1,900-year-old, even face reading gets dragged in.”
“I-I’ll never come again!”
Bang!
The door slammed shut in a huff.
Kimyang closed her eyes tightly.
“Kimyang, thanks to you we lost a customer.”
I was trying to sweet-talk her and squeeze some money out of her, but thanks to you, that’s ruined.
“B-boss.”
“Yeah?”
“I didn’t get paid.”
“……”
“I’m not an employee.”
“……”
“Pay up. You fucking bastard.”
* * *
The 3rd floor, Earth, where we live.
The Tower is divided into a total of six floors.
There may be more floors above, but for now only up to the 6th floor is open.
The 1st and 2nd floors are a separate matter.
The 4th floor is [Rajesta Continent], a medieval fantasy world where humans, elves, orcs, dwarves, and others live.
The 5th floor is [Old Murim], where warriors, immortals, dragons, and beast-like beings live.
The 6th floor is [Cyber City], where people have machine parts implanted in their bodies, or technology has developed to an astonishing degree.
These four floors absorb each other’s strengths and weaknesses, maintaining a kind of symbiotic relationship.
For reference, Kimyang came from the 5th floor.
Slurp.
I’d been getting by on cup noodles from last night until today’s lunch so I could pay Kimyang’s salary.
As the elf queen had said yesterday, the office was shabby.
It was grandly named Meracle, but at the end of the day it was just split into a counseling room and an office.
My desk had customer lists and files neatly organized on it, with an ashtray beside it.
I used to smoke here, but the customers didn’t like it, so it’s now an item we don’t use anymore.
The ashtray outside is too much trouble to empty, so it’s piled high with cigarette butts.
“B-boss.”
Sitting there with nothing but a chair, Kimyang called out to me again today while using her phone.
For reference, Kimyang is a social media influencer. Since she’s from the 5th floor and pretty good-looking, followers keep piling on even if she just posts about daily life.
“What.”
“A customer’s here.”
No sooner had Kimyang finished speaking than the door opened.
And.
There stood the 1,900-year-old elf queen, looking tearful.
“N-no one...”
“……”
“No one will take me.”
“……”
“They said that if I’m 1,900 years old, I should go grow vegetables under a tree.”
Of course.
Why would famous businesses like “Tophon” or “Wedding Company” in this industry accept someone 1,900 years old?
Elves were judged especially harshly in this market.
“Meracle... accepts everyone, right? You never turn away customers who come here, right?”
Please, say that it’s true.
I placed my hand on Lenea’s shoulder as she begged with her whole body.
“We find your miracle. Welcome to Meracle.”
“A-ahh-!”
Overcome with emotion, she grabbed my hand and let out a breathless cry.
“I want to... get married.”
“Aha, of course you do. You’ve carried so much as the elf queen. From now on, you should spend your old age thinking of yourself, shouldn’t you?”
“Sobs, could I maybe do it with a young man? If possible, someone who looks like Cha Eun-woo.”
“...For now, let’s start with the consultation.”
“And money would be nice, too.”
“Let’s start with the consultation! You’re making me want to throw you out!”
* * *
Back in the counseling room.
Counseling is always conducted face-to-face.
I can communicate with people from the 4th floor, but I can’t make sense of their writing.
“Name: Lenea. Race: elf. Age: 1,901. No home, assets: one bow, both parents deceased. No home, 1,901 years old. Special note: former elf queen?”
“You just said my age twice. That hurts, so be careful.”
“Yes, well. You know this is handled by a ranking system, right?”
“Mm. It’s basically about scoring the total value of one’s existence. I don’t particularly like it, but I do have confidence.”
“The ranking system means F rank is the lowest and S rank is the highest. We average the detailed ranks to determine the overall grade. Then you’re matched with people in that grade.”
For example, someone at B rank would mostly meet people around A to C rank.
“Mm! I’m counting on you!”
“First, appearance is S rank. As for assets—”
“This bow is really expensive! The elves are desperate to get their hands on it!”
“...Well, sure. Assets are A rank.”
“Ooh!”
In fact, weapons and armor excavated from the 4th floor can sometimes fetch apartment-level prices.
And if the elf queen owns it, its value is practically guaranteed.
“Both parents are gone, so there’s no need to worry about supporting them in old age. Occupation: unemployed. Education?”
“Ah, I was taught by my parents.”
“Homeschooling.”
Occupation and education.
Both E rank.
“And this is the most important part.”
“Mm! Ask me anything.”
“Can you have children?”
“……”
Lenea answered with a blank look.
But I was serious.
“No, if you can’t even have children, who would take you? I don’t even know when elves hit menopause—”
Lenea stood up and immediately drew her bow.
A beam of light burst forth and took the shape of an arrow.
“H-how dare you! How dare you ask me that!”
“No?! This is seriously important!”
“Y-yes! I can! Elves don’t have menopause!”
Really?
That’s a little surprising.
After that, I asked her about all sorts of things.
Hobbies, whether she smoked or drank, her health, how many times she’d dated, and so on.
“Now then, taking everything into consideration.”
“Mm-mm!”
“You’re F rank.”
“……”
Lenea’s face, which had been full of hope, gradually drooped.
“A-ah, why? I’m pretty, you know?”
“You’re 1,900 years old.”
“This bow is—! This bow is also really rare!”
“You’re 1,900 years old.”
“I’m a proper wife! I’m wise, and I’m confident I can look only at my husband!”
“You’re 1,900 years old.”
“......A spinster, you say. I’ve never even dated anyone.”
“You’re a 1,900-year-old single with zero dating experience.”
“Want me to kill you?”
Since the arrow of light was about to appear again, I hurriedly added,
“But! For someone like you, I found the perfect match!”
“Oh?”
“Same 4th-floor background! A prince, no less! And he’s handsome! He’s wealthy, too!”
“Ooh?!”
When I showed her the photo tucked into the file, Lenea’s eyes went wide.
He was a cool-looking white-haired handsome man.
“Not bad?! You’re telling me I can really meet this man?”
“Yes! Of course! He’s Prince Valentino of the Kingdom of Belden! We also worked very hard to secure the contract.”
“Oho! As expected of Meracle! As expected, the best!”
“Of course, there is one very minor problem.”
“If it’s minor, then it’s fine! I can finally date a handsome man—!”
“You’d be the roughly 127th wife.”
“Hey, you fucking bastard.”