12 Grandma, This Is What They Call a Cell Phone

Early the next morning.

“Good morning.”

“G-good morning, Boss.”

Once we got to work, we started the day as usual with morning greetings and coffee.

The sweetness of instant coffee.

As soon as we sat down, we stood right back up.

“I’m going out for a smoke.”

“B-Boss. Let’s buy some office supplies. De-deodorizer.”

“We already have air freshener.”

“For deodorizing, Boss.”

“...Do I smell that bad?”

I did smoke a bit, but I wondered if it was really that bad, so I sniffed myself.

Kim Yang answered in an exaggerated nasal voice, pinching her nose dramatically.

“Boss, you smell like a total old man.”

“That bad?”

“Dress yourself up a bit.”

“Where would I find the time? I need to make money.”

“Hand over my salary.”

I pretended not to hear and slipped outside. Look at her, rushing me, and it isn’t even payday yet.

Cigarettes, coffee, and stocks.

The three things I check first thing in the morning.

Usually the stock market tells you the hottest names by pointing out the biggest movers.

The headline was [Baekdu Pharmaceuticals -12%], plastered right across the page.

Not only had the Hunter Association and the special prosecutors’ office taken the lead on the case, but I’d heard there had also been an official protest from the fifth floor.

Unfortunately, -12% was just the first step on a downhill slope. For a while, Baekdu Pharmaceuticals was going to own the market headlines.

The beastfolk were, strictly speaking, descendants of spirit beasts.

They naturally weren’t happy that their spirit beasts were being taken away, intentionally or not.

“Hoo.”

I checked the other stocks too.

I’ve been investing pretty intelligently lately, so even opening the app is exciting.

[Sillacha: 315,500▲(0.15)]

[Hunter Korea: 147,000▲(2.52)]

[Moorim Pharmaceuticals: 66,100▲(5.12)]

[Wolfguard Tactical Solutions: 9,800▲(5.59)]

“Heh heh.”

My lips curled up before I could stop them.

Sillacha was one I’d originally held on faith, so I skipped it.

Hunter Korea sometimes shot up weirdly whenever Yoo Yena made a move, so I’d bought in right after the last incident.

Moorim Pharmaceuticals was a pharmaceutical company that came down from the fifth floor.

While other pharmaceutical companies were tumbling because of Baekdu Pharmaceuticals, it was the only one still climbing steadily just because it had come from the fifth floor.

The fact that Baekdu had pulled off something like that against the fifth-floor beastfolk had shifted people’s attention toward fifth-floor pharmaceutical companies.

Wolfguard Tactical Solutions makes gear for beastfolk. I figured this one would rise naturally too because of what happened to the beastfolk, so I bought in.

I swallowed hard as I looked at the stock market screen, everything red and rising, then checked my account.

[21,221,000 won]

Thanks to the extra contracts I signed with customers yesterday, my account had grown even more.

I’d been told to separate my personal account from the business account, but I never bothered.

After deducting Kim Yang’s salary, wasn’t it all basically my money anyway?

Anyway.

“Kuhhahaha! They say there are times when money starts rolling in! It was true!”

I’d already forgotten about Kim Yang’s delayed salary. In the end, you just have to ride the wave well.

I immediately went back into the stock app and sold more.

'Yonggakdoshin Clinic, Brimrak Smelter-.'

This is why people need to use their brains.

Then a faint maple scent drifted in from beside me.

“What are you doing?”

“Ah, you startled me....”

Lenea was somehow standing beside me.

She’d come by early in the morning and was standing on tiptoe, peering at my phone.

“Ah, that thing, right? Stocks? The thing that ruins people’s lives?”

“What are you talking about? If you do it wisely, there’s nothing that makes this much money.”

Just as I was about to put my phone away, I decided to give her a tip while I was in a good mood.

“I just bought stock in Brimrak Smelter and Yonggakdoshin Clinic. You should get in now too, customer. The outlook is good.”

“Brimrak...? Dwarves? Yonggakdoshin Clinic is for those fifth-floor traditionalists?”

Dwarves, yes—but traditionalists?

“Why are the fifth-floor guys traditionalists?”

“You can’t even have a proper conversation with them, can you? Anything and everything is tradition, the teachings of their ancestors—ugh, it’s so frustrating.”

“Come to think of it, someone like you would be older than even the ‘ancestors of their ancestors’ they talk about—”

“Smack!”

Lenea’s headbutt connected.

It didn’t hurt.

It was probably because the market was up.

“Anyway, what brings you here today? You said you were going to contact Hyojae yesterday.”

“Ah, well.... He isn’t taking my calls.”

“What?”

What was that supposed to mean?

Just how hard had I worked to persuade Hyojae?

“Why wouldn’t he answer? You didn’t do anything weird again, did you? Did you tie a letter to an arrow and shoot it?”

“No way! I called him too! Only—”

“Only?”

“I didn’t have a cell phone, so I called from a payphone.”

“Why don’t you have a cell phone? Then what was that thing you wrote when you filled out your personal info?”

“...The payphone number.”

“Ah, damn.”

I guess I missed it because I wasn’t properly checking things like cell phone numbers.

More importantly, a payphone?

Do those still exist?

“Haah, these days people just assume it’s spam or an ad call and don’t answer.”

“I need to buy a phone. Come with me.”

“That’s ridiculous.... We’re on the clock, you know?”

“But no customers are coming!”

“It’s still morning. Who comes to a matchmaking agency this early?”

We also weren’t coming to work this morning just to take customers, either.

The main morning work was organizing materials and having meetings and discussions about matching.

“Ah, please. Huh? I’m begging you. I’m scared of going to a cell phone store alone!”

“Why on earth is that scary?!”

“They say weird things when you go in, and I feel like I’ll get ripped off for nothing!”

Well, yeah.

She wasn’t wrong.

Cell phone stores were famous for milking people for every margin they could, after all.

Especially someone like Lenea, who was older, could easily get ripped off without even realizing it.

'We can’t let the dead stock pile up any more here.'

Honestly, though I hadn’t said it out loud, our company was already sitting on quite a bit of dead stock.

It was the karma of saying we’d take anyone, and then having “anyone” actually show up.

Now I had a chance to move one 1,901-year-old piece of dead stock.

I couldn’t let this chance slip.

“Wait here. Let me see if there’s a place nearby that sells cell phones.”

* * *

The cell phone specialty store, Phonejalsa.

The storefront sign was plastered with all kinds of dazzling, multicolored slogans.

[Latest models half price!]

[Free device!]

[Free giveaway! Lottery held on the first of every month]

[A holy site even seen on TV!]

[F! R! E! E!]

Every single one was a sales pitch designed to tempt people.

Oh Han-gyu, who worked part-time here, realized just how narrow the world he’d been living in was.

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

It’s a phrase people throw around all the time, but Oh Han-gyu had now become even more certain of it, like a philosopher who had felt the truth on his own skin.

Well, if they were going to give it away for free, why would they even run a business?

Instead, at his young age he learned that the snakes who wag their tongues and call something free are the most dangerous.

“Ding-a-ling!”

And today.

Another piece of prey that came here, deceived by the word free.

There were three of them, and the combo was unusual.

A sheep beastfolk woman, a human man, and an elf woman.

What a bizarre combo, like they were about to put on a circus or something.

'Wow, she’s pretty.'

Especially the chic-looking sheep beastfolk woman, and Oh Han-gyu admired her looks before greeting them with a friendly smile.

Pretty is pretty, but work is work.

Customers from the fourth and fifth floors were the sweetest possible honey pot for the store.

If you threw out a few complicated-sounding lines, their eyes would start spinning and they'd get flustered, making them perfect easy marks.

“Welcome! Are you here to look at phones? What model are you looking for?”

At that, Kim Yang didn't answer and instead looked down at Lenea.

“Uh, what model?”

“Huh? Model? I-I don't really know much about that.... The same as the boss's?”

“Mine? It's a Milotic 5.”

“That's a phone for old folks. B-Boss, try living a little younger.”

“What do you mean, live younger with a phone? This one is cheap and good. I've used it for five years.”

“Five years is just the time it takes a breeze to pass by, isn't it?”

“What are you talking about? Most phones don't last that long.”

“Hmm, then I'll buy that one too! It's sturdy!”

“Haa.”

With a sigh as if giving up, Kim Yang spoke to Oh Han-gyu.

“M-Milotic 5.”

“Ah, yes. But these days the Milotic series has newer models too. They're much sturdier and—”

As he made the suggestion, Lenea cut in.

“Oh! One that's better than the boss's! Then I'll take that one! I'll be more y-young than the boss!”

“Milotic itself isn't exactly young to begin with.”

While Lenea happily peered into the display case, Kim Yang looked back at Oh Han-gyu.

“All right, then let's go with this model—”

The moment Oh Han-gyu took out the box, Kim Yang's gaze turned icy.

“The p-price.”

“What?”

“H-How much.”

“Ah, with the subsidy applied, this one is 380,000 won, and the plan—”

“No, t-that’s enough.”

Kim Yang held out her palm.

“The subsidy sheet.”

“......”

“S-show me. The full subsidy, b-by model.”

“......”

Kim Yang glanced at it and tapped the very bottom of the booklet with her finger.

“W-with the 95+ optional plan?”

“......”

“The actual device price is... 620,000 won, though.”

“Th-there's a fee, right?”

“A fee?”

“F-for new members. A-and these days there are extra benefits for customers from other floors.”

“......”

“A-and age. Grandma. Extra discount applied.”

“......”

“Th-the sheet.”

Now Oh Han-gyu felt as if that stammering way of speaking was mocking him.

Thinking he'd get chewed out by his boss, he had no choice but to abandon any thought of ripping them off.

And then, in the middle of that...

“Hmm, how old are you, part-timer? Do you have a girlfriend? If you dressed up a bit, I think you could buy one.”

The man beside them, meanwhile, was starting to make some bizarre proposal to him—

“Then, as promised, come by after work today? I'll be waiting.”

After they left.

A cell phone contract sold without leaving a single profit behind, and a white business card.

<We find the miracle you seek across countless worlds.>

Hunter-specialized matchmaking agency, Meracle (Meracle).

As if bewitched by something, Oh Han-gyu promised to visit after work today.

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