Chapter 45
I had been assigned an inpatient room in Building B, Room 403 of Unfair Hospital..
‘Haa.. How am I supposed to get to the fourth floor from here..’
Just as I began to feel a little daunted by the prospect of dragging my immobile leg to Room 403.
“..What is this?”
“I-I’ll he-help you with the pa-payment.”
The receptionist anomaly held out a piece of paper and offered to help me with the payment.
‘..Payment?’
Startled by the sudden mention of payment, I looked up at the receptionist’s face.
“...”
The anomaly’s face, which I had looked up at, had a single enormous mouth where its facial features should have been..
Inside that enormous mouth, sharp teeth like a shark’s were packed densely..
It was a sight that made me resolve never to offend the receptionist anomaly.
“..How much is it?”
“Th-three fingers, or-or four toes.”
The anomaly told me to pay with body parts rather than money.
I wondered whether I should reach out and use Crafting on that anomaly even now..
But with several anomalies watching this place, if I rashly acted hostile..
I was already in a situation where one leg didn’t work, and could end up having to fend off attacks from dozens of anomalies.
“..By any chance, do you accept this too?”
Taking stones out of the Status Window and asking the receptionist whether they could be used to pay was the best thing I could do for now.
‘I guess I’ll have to sacrifice some toes.’
Just as I decided to sacrifice four toes if the stones failed to serve as currency.
“Four hundred thirty st-stones.”
The receptionist anomaly, which had said 430 stones..
Crrr-ack..
slowly began opening its enormous mouth.
“Ah..! Y-yes..!”
Apparently, I was supposed to put the stones into that mouth.
Just as I was about to take out 430 stones from the Status Window and put them into the receptionist anomaly’s mouth..
Suddenly.
A thought began to form in my mind.
“..Thank you sincerely for assisting me so kindly.”
“Th-that’s our jo-job.”
“This is a small token of my gratitude.”
When I immediately took out 600 stones from the Status Window and put them into the anomaly’s mouth.
Crunch.. Crunch..
The attendant anomaly chewed and swallowed the stones with terrifying crunches.
“!!!!”
It abruptly stood up from where it was..
“I-I’ll es-escort you to your in-inpatient room.”
It scooped me up with thin arms that looked well over 200 centimeters long and began carrying me somewhere.
‘..Did it work?’
Tip.
Additional money given as a token of gratitude.
I had never seen anyone who disliked tips.
Nor had I ever seen an anomaly that disliked tips in a safe zone.
This..
“Th-thank you for us-using our se-services, c-customer.”
“Um.. Could I ask you for a small favor?”
“It is po-possible.”
The same applied to the anomalies working at Unfair Hospital.
“It’s just that moving around by myself is very difficult.. Could I borrow something like crutches?”
“I-I’ll bring them right aw-away.”
“Ah, I’ll pay for them right here.”
“Cru-crutches are 40 sto-stones.”
“Here, 100 stones. There’s also such a thing as a delivery fee, isn’t there?”
“Tha-thank you.”
More than I expected..
It didn’t seem like enduring this place would be all that difficult.
--
DOLL : 55783
[Withdrawal : ] [Sale : ]
--
“Can I acquire this hospital too?”
--
[Unfair Hospital, Day 1.]
(Picture)
The noona taking a picture with me while making a V sign with her fingers is the receptionist anomaly noona.
I gave her a little tip in money (stones), and she did everything I asked.
So this was a capitalist horror story where stones got you anything.
I’ll enjoy myself before I leave~
And~ are you watching, you bastard who sent me that message?
I’m definitely going to make it back alive, so you’d better wait right there.
[Comments - 17]
Anonymous 1 : LMAO... hey, Daebung, don’t make jokes when this is such a serious situation...
ㄴ Anonymous 4 : LMAO... It’s a seriously dire situation, but seeing an anomaly make a V sign is so randomly funny, lol.
ㄴ Anonymous 5 : ..An anomaly that does an ahegao double peace sign if you just give it money..?
ㄴ Author : It was just one V sign. Don’t sneakily add another V.
Anonymous 2 : Was it not an anomaly, but a human who deceived him?
ㄴ Author : I think so, since it came through a message.
ㄴ Anonymous 2 : Can even the head mod check the IP of a private message?
ㄴ Moderator : I cannot manage other people’s private messages.
Anonymous 3 : So some fucking bastard tried to kill our Daebung?
ㄴ Author : Yep.
ㄴ Anonymous 3 : Ha.. The fact that it was a human, not an anomaly, is just fucking bullshit. Come back alive, Daebung. When you do, we’ll find that bastard and beat him half to death.
ㄴ Author : You bet your ass, you fucking bastard.
Anonymous 6 : Oh my~ Can you hear the sound of the @sshole who tried to screw Daebung sweating bullets all the way over here?!
ㄴ Anonymous 7 : LMAO, they sent him in there to die, but he’s posting proof of taking a commemorative photo with an anomaly, lol
ㄴ Anonymous 8 : But aren’t there only a few Koreans who know how to enter that horror story?
ㄴ Anonymous 1 : Only a few. Come to think of it, it’s been about.. almost a year since that code was deleted.
ㄴ Anonymous 9 : Our community is also taking this incident seriously. But it’s a relief that Daebung’s expression looks bright.
--
After informing the community that I was alive, I turned my head and checked the rules posted on the wall.
‘Up through number 9, they’re no different at all from the basic rules. But.. there are really a lot of additions.’
The rules from 1 through 9 were all identical to those I had read in the safe zone.
But new rules had been added starting from number 10.
I began reading the rules intently again so I could memorize them word for word.
-
10. If someone wearing a crookedly draped snow-white gown asks you where the blood-drawing room is, ignore them.
There is no blood-drawing room in our hospital.
11. Eating is strictly prohibited in the underground parking lot.
Occasionally, patients attempt to hide in the underground parking lot and eat.
The staff working at the hospital are sensitive to the smell of blood, so please be careful.
12. Avoid approaching the black-haired man wandering through Building A as much as possible.
He is a patient who visited our hospital due to amnesia, but for some reason, he screams loudly whenever anyone tries to make contact with him.
12 - 1 This patient often hides in places our staff rarely visit.
If you find the black-haired man hiding, please call a nurse at Unfair Hospital immediately.
13. When using the elevators inside the hospital, please be sure to be accompanied by a nurse.
Mirrors are afraid of nurses due to a side effect of surgery.
14. A patient with sleepwalking is currently admitted to Room 208 in Building B.
The patient in Room 208 has their sleeping hours regulated under the strict supervision of our nurses, but please remain alert in case of an emergency.
14 - 1. If, between 2 a.m. and 9 a.m., you encounter a patient with the number ‘208’ written on the right chest of their patient gown, press yourself against the wall and hold your breath.
The patient in Room 208 tends to mistake you for a wall and pass by normally.
14 - 2. If, between 2 a.m. and 9 a.m., a patient with the number ‘208’ written on the right chest of their patient gown enters your inpatient room, open the window immediately and jump out.
The patient in Room 208 entered the inpatient room because they were certain that you were there.
14 - 3. If, between 2 a.m. and 9 a.m., a patient with the number ‘208’ written on the right chest of their patient gown is crawling toward you at high speed, do not let yourself be caught under any circumstances.
15.
16. The contents of Rule 15 have been left blank.
The contents of Rule 15 kept changing due to outside influences, so it was intentionally left blank. Please ignore it even if the contents of Rule 15 are newly updated.
17. The emergency stairs of Unfair Hospital are an area anyone may use.
However, if you use the emergency stairs, you must close your eyes at least twice every ten seconds.
-
‘There are a lot of things to be careful about.’
If all four of my limbs were intact, gathering information would be easier.
But in my current situation, having to get around on crutches without being able to use one leg, gathering information here looked somewhat difficult.
‘For now, I should only walk around during the safe hours.’
Between 1 a.m. and 2 a.m.
Between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m.
I decided to explore the hospital during the relatively safe hours and, before going to sleep, secure the room by blocking the entrance so no one could enter.
‘The time right now.. is relatively safe.’
Unfortunately or fortunately.
The clock showed that it was currently 7 p.m.
Having confirmed that the next two hours or so were relatively safe, I slowly opened the inpatient-room door to look around the hospital.
“...”
It had the same enormous mouth on its face as the attendant anomaly at the reception desk.
But from its clothes, I could tell that the anomaly was a nurse..
Apparently, it had encountered me while walking down the hall, because it had stopped in the middle of the corridor and was staring fixedly at me.
Squeak..
Pretending nothing was wrong, I naturally closed the door again and began practicing walking with the crutches inside the room.
‘I wonder if the nurses take tips too?’
The attendant anomaly at the reception desk had accepted tips.
But I still had no information on whether the nurse anomalies accepted tips, so wouldn’t it be better to be as careful as possible?
‘It would’ve been nice if this really were a world where money could buy anything.’
Also, I decided it would be better not to give the nurse anomalies any unnecessary information about me.
To avoid showing them that I was exploring various areas in search of information.
‘I guess I can walk well enough like this.’
After practicing how to walk with crutches alone for about ten minutes.
When I felt I had gotten reasonably good at it, I opened the inpatient-room door again.. and could see.
“...”
“...”
This time too, the nurse anomaly was crossing the middle of the corridor somewhat awkwardly.. and when I opened the door, it stopped where it was and stared fixedly at me.
At that moment.
‘..Ah, no way..?’
At a thought that brushed through my mind.
“Ah.. ow ow.. ow ow ow.. I sure wish someone would h.e.l.p me..”
I acted out a monologue as naturally as possible and watched the nurse anomaly’s reaction.
Sure enough.
“I-I’ll h-help you.”
Seeing the nurse anomaly come to help me as if it had been waiting for this moment, I became certain.
‘Word really travels fast around here.’
The anomalies here had heard that I was a patient who tipped well.
“Goodness.. How can I ever thank you? All I have is stones, but would you accept these at least?”
“N-no need to go that far.”
Despite saying, ‘No need to go that far,’ look at it opening its mouth as wide as it could.
‘Wow.. you guys really are.. capitalistic, huh?’
“Here you are.”
Crunch.. Crunch..
“I-I’ll do my u-utmost to es-escort you.”
Of course.
“Goodness, then shall I impose on you a little?
I was also someone with nothing but money to spare.
“Ah, um, could I ask you for just one favor?”
“It is po-possible.”
“Now, put your fingers like this. Yes, yes, can you do that with both hands? Ah, yes, just like that. And open your mouth slightly.. It would be nice if you drooled too. Yes, yes, like that! Just a moment.. Ah, that’s good. Here, I’ll give you 500 stones.”
“Five hundred stones is far too much.”
“Not at all. Isn’t it all thanks to the nurses’ self-sacrificing dedication to their patients?”
--
[Ahegao Double Peace]
(Picture)
It would’ve been nice if you rolled your eyes back too, but unfortunately, these anomalies have no eyes, so I’ll pass.
Even the detail of two-finger Vs and a little drool at the mouth.
How’s this for an ahegao double peace?
You fucking @sshole who told me to come in here, thank you so much.
Thanks to you, I’m reigning here like a king right now, you hear?
When I make it back alive, I’m going to put 200 anomalies in my inventory and return, so you’d better wait.
I’m going to put 200 nurses in your house and play hospital.
I’ll be the attending physician, and you’ll be the patient.
[Comments - 20]
Anonymous 1 : Fucking S-tier..
Anonymous 2 : Oh.. I’m getting a signal.
ㄴ Anonymous 3 : ?
ㄴ Anonymous 4 : ??????????????????
ㄴ Anonymous 1 : Huh? This bastard has given up on being human—wait..!
Anonymous 5 : LMAO... Ah, I hate myself for worrying about Daebung...
Anonymous 6 : Daebung, is he really human?
ㄴ Anonymous 2 : LMAO, a summary of Daebung’s achievements. 1. Gained an anomaly’s favor and received its protection. 2. Beat the shit out of anomalies. 3. Made items out of anomalies he beat the shit out of. 4. Figured out anomalies’ traits and toyed with them. 5. Made an anomaly kill itself. 6. Now he’s bribing anomalies with money, after all that, lol
ㄴ Anonymous 7 : wwwwwwwwww
ㄴ Anonymous 10 : I can’t live without Daebung anymore, not even for a day.
ㄴ Anonymous 4 : The dopamine is going insane, seriously, lol. Ever since Daebung showed up, every day has been so fun and thrilling, lol
Moderator : Please do not let your guard down. The clear condition has not yet been revealed, so you must remain vigilant.
ㄴ Author : Yes. Ah, by any chance, are there sanctions such as a community ban if users get into a fight?
ㄴ Moderator : There are. Depending on the severity of the fight, we assess how serious it is and issue a community ban ranging from at least one day to as long as a week, but.. we’ll make an exception for this incident.
ㄴ Anonymous 1 : Oh.. I wonder who the first human to take Daebung’s brass-knuckle punch will be.
ㄴ Anonymous 5 : Press x to pay respects.
ㄴ Anonymous 1 : S..
ㄴ Anonymous 2 : E...
ㄴ Anonymous 8 : I said press X, you idiots, lol
ㄴ Anonymous 9 : Look at Anonymous 8 sneakily completing it, lol
--
I uploaded the post with a little embellishment, bragging that I was reigning like a king.
It was obvious that the other person would take the bait if I let them know my situation was positive rather than bleak.
Sure enough.
The guy realized how serious the situation was after seeing my post..
--
Other : (Picture)
Other : Take a good look, Daebung, while you’re eating that tasteless food there. This is what an F-set meal looks like, lol
--
He had taken the bait.
--
Me : You’re Japanese, aren’t you?
--