Chapter 12
“─Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaah!!!!!”
“─Hikkyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!”
Fear!
We were completely ruled by fear!
Francesca and I went completely fucking berserk side by side. Human reason was this fleeting in the face of primal fear.
“Throw!!!!!”
Even so, we still carried out the duties assigned to us.
I put all my strength into hurling Francesca right up to the iron grate, and she flew there while spilling all sorts of junk from her poncho.
“Byaaah!!”
Francesca made full use of her ample breasts as a cushion and landed on the floor with her whole body. Then, moving almost automatically, she pulled tools from inside her poncho and tried to pry open the iron grate.
But I could no longer watch what she was doing.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!”
It's climbing up! That bastard's climbing up onto my fucking head!!
Since my armor kept it from biting my waist or shoulders, it was trying to bite the one exposed target: my head.
I finally understood the historical reason soldiers wore helmets even when they had no armor. I wanted to buy a fucking helmet too.
This year's research funding was as good as gone. I would survive and upgrade my head's defenses first thing.
“Let go of my comrade, you tiny vermin!!!!”
Gentric helped as I thrashed around, twisting my entire body. His sturdy wooden shield smashed the bug clinging to my lower back.
Wham!!
Splash!!
With a slightly creepy sound, the katydid bug fell from my waist into the sewer. When the heavy sensation around my waist vanished, I burst into a fucking tearful dance of joy.
“Fuck, shields are great!! Shields are awesome!! I love you, Gentric!!”
“Hearing that from a man doesn't make me happy at all!!”
As expected, men didn't need to wear helmets after all. All we needed was one fucking reliable shield. This was why every party needed a tank. Gentric the human shield.
At that moment, Tirsi conveniently aimed her wand behind us.
“Mana of ice flowing in the north, become a momentary shield to repel the fangs of the lawless!! !!"
Look at how fast she cast. Even an outsider's wraith would be slower than that. Tirsi proved through her rapid tongue that the theory that people's abilities peak in a crisis was true.
At that point, it was practically an unchanted spell. She recited that long incantation in under a second. Tirsi was a woman who could put one-second spellcasting on her résumé without exaggerating.
Crack─ Shatter!!
The crisp, thrilling sound of ice forming was almost painful.
The huge ice wall completely sealed off one side of the passage, including this wide sewer tunnel and drainage channel. Anyway, it was a fucking huge shield.
“Woohoo! It blocked them!!”
I shouted without meaning to, I was so happy.
“Did we get them!!”
─Thud! Thud! Thud!
Of course we hadn't.
I heard the dull sound of flesh slamming into the wall. The swarm of katydids, their compound eyes spinning toward the prey before them, was ramming its bodies into the ice wall.
“You bastards! Clingy men aren't popular!!”
“They're not bastard men, they're bastard bugs!”
Gentric made an incredibly precise point. Wow! Fuck, I had a master's degree and I still hadn't known that! Katydids weren't canids but belonged to the katydid family of the order Orthoptera! That was the wisdom of age!
“I-I can't hold it for long!!”
I opened my mouth to say something to fucking sage Gentric, but Tirsi suddenly blurted out something even more nonsensical than he had.
“What?! No, please put some effort into it!!!! If that breaks through, we'll all get bitten to death by bugs!!!!!”
I screamed so loudly the sewer shook. How could someone be Bronze tier and still fail to properly block even Iron-tier monsters?
But actually, it made sense. Even after reaching Bronze, I wasn't confident I could beat twenty Iron-tier thugs in a straight fight.
“I'm sorry!!!!! It's not the strength that's the problem, it's the time limit!!!!”
Tirsi squealed while clutching her wand. Fuck, then it couldn't be helped. She must have expanded the area enough to seal off this entire wide passage, cutting down the duration by that much.
Clank!!
Just as I was thinking it would be better to run and widen the gap while the shield lasted, Francesca suddenly spread both arms and jumped.
“I opened it!! I opened it, everyone!!”
“Oh! Well done!! Very impressive!!!!”
At Francesca's words, Gentric charged in without even looking back.
I was horrified, thinking the old man was trying to abandon his comrades and save himself, but Gentric grabbed the heavy iron grate cover instead of leaving it to short Francesca and lifted it upward. He had been the first to run over and create an opening for his comrades to escape!
“Get in, everyone!!”
“Mr. Gentric, why are you so good at getting things done!!”
I hoisted Tirsi, who had collapsed after throwing out her back, under one arm like a piece of luggage and ran toward them.
…Crack!
And when there wasn't much distance left to the grate, a fucking terrifying sound began behind us.
─Crash! Clang!!
“Uooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!”
I sprinted through the sewer faster than I had in my twenty-eight years of life. Tirsi and I threw ourselves into the sewer passage.
Squeeeak!
Clank!
Less than a second after we jumped inside, Gentric closed the iron grate cover. The large katydid bugs couldn't slow their charge and clung all over the grate.
Rumble-rumble-rumble-rumble!!
Huge compound eyes and the insects' distinctive abdomens filled the area in front of the grate in the blink of an eye. What the fuck, why did these insect bastards' movements make a sound like a machine gun?
“Aaaaagh!! Fucking disgusting!!”
I was so fucking creeped out that my back itched. What if the front legs of the bastard that had clung to my back earlier were still there?
No, forget that—what if they pried the gaps apart and got inside? This grate had a hinged structure. Even if they lacked the intelligence to open the door, rubbing against it back and forth might open a gap.
“Eek!! !!”
Maybe she had thought the same thing; Tirsi, breathing hard, fired magic without even bothering with an incantation, as if taking out her frustration.
Rat-a-tat-tat!!
Ice arrows slammed into various parts of the grate with almost the force of missiles.
The arrows were masses of pure cold without any physical force. Rather than pushing the grate outward, the arrows stuck to it, dragged in several katydid bugs clinging there, and froze the grate solid.
─Twitch, twitch.
The insect legs writhing as they protruded through the grate froze and stopped moving. That completely sealed off the entrance.
Ah, now that's what I called acceptable. When the katydid bugs stopped moving, silence returned.
Drip… drip….
The sound of dripping water seemed incredibly loud.
We stood there with our mouths agape for a long while, like zebras beside a sleeping lion. Only when we were sure it was safe could we relax our tensed shoulders in relief.
“I-I'm alive…. I thought I was going to die….”
“I genuinely, completely fucking agree.”
I answered Francesca's tearful murmur with heartfelt empathy. I really had thought we were going to die. Who could have imagined we'd end up running a spectacular marathon against an Ancient Camel Cricket in a sewer?
When I answered with all the empathy I could muster, Francesca looked at me with tearful eyes. Wow, her breasts were fucking huge.
“A-actually, I peed a little….”
“Can't relate.”
Who was she trying to make into her fellow pissbaby?
“Hng….”
“Heh heh. It's all right. I used to wet myself during quests pretty often when I first started too.”
Gentric chuckled. It wasn't a fact I particularly wanted to know, but he'd done a lot of carrying today, so I decided to let it slide.
After finishing our reports on the condition of one another's underwear, we all turned our gazes toward Tirsi as if that were only right.
“…Why are you looking at me?”
Our Bronze-class party leader avoided our eyes with a red face. Her incredibly charming legs were pigeon-toed.
I nodded solemnly, like an archaeologist who had just unraveled a once-in-a-lifetime mystery.
“It's all right. My nose is stuffed up, so I can't smell anything.”
“Let's go back!! We need to report to the guild!!”
Tirsi, clutching her wand, shrieked. We didn't press her any further.
Reconnaissance was impossible in a place overrun with those fucking parentless murder bugs anyway. We needed to report this to the guild and guard station so they could carry out a full-scale pest-control operation.
“Let's do that. I don't know why those monstrous bugs are all over the place, though.”
“Those are bugs that normally live in sewers…. There just usually aren't so many….”
Francesca said that while looking at the flash-frozen katydids, but honestly, I didn't give a fuck. What the hell would knowing that do for us? If she was really curious, she could ask the guild to call in some otherworldly Pablo and analyze them separately.
Gentric sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
“Whew. Anyway, let's get going. If we follow this route, we can get back to the surface.”
“Yes. I want to get back to the inn and rest too.”
“And buy some underwear on the way.”
“…Why are you looking at me when you say that? I'm completely fine, you know?”
We grumbled as we made our way toward the surface. It had been a day when the rainbow bridge to the afterlife had nearly descended right in front of us, then pulled away.
What the hell kind of Iron-tier quest was this? I nearly fucking died.
***
We crawled out to the surface through the emergency exit.
The exit door could only be opened from the inside. Since we were on the inside, we got out without trouble, then shed a few tears as we breathed the clean air beneath the blue sky.
“Everyone, come stand over here.”
Tirsi said that as she carelessly set down the lantern and map. We were puzzled, but did as she asked.
Once we had gathered in one place, Tirsi drew her wand and recited a spell.
“Depart, impure traces that soil the body. This is the detoxifying wind, the southern gentle breeze (輕風). ."
When she finished reciting the spell, a cold wind blew once from top to bottom. I closed my eyes without realizing it, but the wind soon stopped.
“W-what was that just now?”
“It's a wind-type disinfecting spell. It's used to remove foul odors and get rid of light dust and things like that.”
Tirsi explained to the bewildered Francesca.
“It's more effective than commercially available deodorizers. Honestly, if I didn't have this, I couldn't have gone in there.”
“Oh! Indeed! There's not a trace of smell on my armor!”
Gentric happily sniffed his armor. Seeing his reaction, I brought the bracer on my arm to my nose, only to realize that it was iron and therefore couldn't smell anyway.
Even so, there wasn't a trace of sewer stink on my clothes. Not even on the mask.
Fuck, magic was awesome. I knew how to read runes too; maybe I should learn magic.
“I'll return the lantern and map and report to the guild. You can all go in first. Since we effectively quit the request halfway through, you'll only be paid after the situation has been assessed.”
Tirsi said that tiredly as she gathered the equipment. Gentric then stepped forward.
“Are you going to return them to the guards? If so, leave it to me. I'll take them back for you.”
“No. This is the party leader's job. You must all be tired, so go on ahead.”
“Hmm… In that case, I'll gratefully accept your consideration.”
“Yes. We'll head back first.”
Gentric backed off after her calm refusal. This time, Tirsi bowed her head toward us.
“Mr. Nord and Ms. Francesca, you worked hard today too. Goodbye, everyone.”
“Yes! You take care too, Ms. Tirsi!”
“Good work.”
After saying goodbye, Tirsi turned and left. Even though she must have been exhausted, the straight-backed figure receding from us was impressive.
Francesca stood there for a long while, then whispered softly to me.
“…Maybe she's going to buy new underwear.”
“…I don't know whether her underwear has made it to Gold class, but my vision is slowly turning yellow.”
I finally understood what it meant for fatigue to make your head throb.
Or maybe spending several hours in a sewer dark enough to make me faint, then coming out into the sunlight, was making my vision swim.
“Oh, right. I'll give your mask back.”
I handed Francesca the mask I had taken off as soon as we came aboveground.
“I was going to wash it before returning it, but thanks to Ms. Tirsi, it doesn't smell at all. Or should I wash it properly and give it back next time?”
“No. You can just give it back now.”
Francesca giggled and tucked the black mask into her clothes. Gentric also removed his mask and bid us farewell.
“Then I'll be off as well. See you again, young friends.”
“Yes. Go on in. Goodbye to you too, Ms. Francesca.”
“You two take care on your way home!”
Thanks to having crossed the line between life and death together, there wasn't even a speck of awkwardness left from our first meeting.
Old man Gentric coolly walked off, and Francesca ran away with a bright smile. I moved my feet to return to the inn as well.
“Fuck, I'm dying.”
I was fucking exhausted. I needed to go home and sleep right away.
Though it was technically someone else's house, I was staying there after paying for it.
***
After returning to the inn, I slept like the dead until the next morning.
The fatigue rivaled that of an all-nighter during my graduate-school days, but it was hardly surprising. I'd nearly died and then come back alive. Wanting to rest was as natural as a man's balls sagging in midsummer.
I got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and returned to my room.
“Tsk, I really need to exercise.”
My morning began by grinding through the basic strength exercises Professor Brammathon had taught me.
I'll omit the details of the workout. Let's just say all you need are some fucking heavy rocks and grit.
“Hooooo….”
Appropriate abuse of one's muscles contributed to the vitality of life. Muscle soreness? That shit goes away if you exercise.
‘It's a shame I don't have somewhere open like a track where I can run freely.’
The only downside was that jogging was difficult. Sargadis had plenty of people out and about from dawn, so there were obstacles in all sorts of ways to running through the streets.
I was looking for a spacious plot like a park, but I still hadn't found any decent space. It was unfortunate.
─Trudge, trudge.
After finishing today's exercise, I went down to the first floor. I wasn't wearing my armor. I planned to go to the bathhouse after eating.
“Oh. You're up.”
When I came downstairs, Dorka greeted me while wiping a table.
“Morning. I feel refreshed after sleeping so well.”
“Morning, my ass. The sun's been up for ages. It's already lunchtime.”
Dorka said with a chuckle.
We'd dropped the formalities with each other over the past few days. Thinking about it, it felt like Dorka had suggested it first because he was too lazy to use honorifics, but his face was too frightening to refuse, so I just agreed and went along with it.
“My mornings start early, so half my day's work is already done. If you were planning to get a free breakfast by casually saying good morning, forget it. It's time to charge you now.”
“Damn.”
Fuck, could he really cancel a free meal just because time was up? It wasn't even a hotel breakfast, yet what a merciless policy. Clicking my tongue, I flicked the one-copper coin from my wallet away.
“I'm bleeding money from the moment I wake up. I have to pay for the bathhouse again if I go today.”
“Heh heh. What can you do? Oh, but all the breakfast dishes had long since gone.”
“What the hell? Give me my one copper back.”
This damn bastard was taking my money when all the food was gone.
“There's soup and bread. Since I already took a copper, I'll give you a big loaf. Take it to your room and eat it over time.”
“I don't have a bowl in my room.”
“Then buy one.”
“Why does something that costs money come up every ten seconds?”
Fuck, living in this shitty rented place. There were too many things to spend money on. What was this, pouring water into a bottomless jar? If I hadn't had money saved up, I really would have been fucked.
“But it's unusually quiet today.”
I sat at a table and looked around the first floor. I was the only person there.
“What is this? Did an inn with better service than this damn place finally open, one run by a kind, beautiful woman? I should go there too.”
“Shut your mouth before I sell off the moldy bread at clearance prices.”
Dorka said that as he brought the soup. Steam rose from the soup on the table.
This inn cooked meat soup from morning and sold it as stew at night. It was basically this world's version of a gomtang restaurant.
“Anyway, why are there so few customers? Usually there'd still be a few old men drinking during the day and wasting their lives away.”
“Those customers are all adventurers, and they're out working now. Are you an adventurer or not? How did you not hear the news?”
“Hear what?”
I wondered if some kind of bonanza had opened up somewhere, but what Dorka actually told me was close to that.
“Since last night, dungeons and ruins have been turning up one after another. The adventurer guilds each found one, three in total.”