Chapter 73
We followed Kabutomaru for about ten minutes.
After a while, we reached the goblins’ nest: an old, abandoned temple. The kind of ruin built to worship a local deity, then forgotten and left to decay.
‘Doesn’t look like it’ll make money.’
No matter how you looked at it, it was just a ruin. You could call it the Holy Saint version of an abandoned cabin in the woods.
“Gyarrgh. (I’m bored.)”
“Gyarrk gyarrgh. (I’m bored too.)”
There were two goblins who looked like guards at the temple entrance.
I was secretly impressed by these brats, who could chat without slacking off on the job.
‘Goblin bastards are better than bandits.’
The bandits hadn’t even posted guards, and they’d all been killed by my signature move, Mamamoo (魔磨霧). Monsters were better than humans.
If we were going to get caught anyway, wasn’t it better for them to have guards? At least then they could make things difficult for attackers like us, the way they were now.
─Rustle.
Fran and I backtracked, retreating a little. Charging straight in here would be a bad move.
The snake had done its job, so it was time to let it go. I’d kept it from escaping by gripping it tightly in my fist and making it point the way.
“Goodbye, Kabutomaru. Live strong in the forest. Sob, sob.”
“Shaaah……”
Having shed a little pre-cum in our hearts as we said goodbye to the snake, Fran and I called a strategy time-out.
“Fran. What should we do? Got any good ideas?”
“You know more about monsters than I do, Nord, so I want to hear your thoughts first. You had a plan, didn’t you?”
“How’d you knoow?”
“If I look at your face every day, I can more or less tell what you’re thinking.”
Shit. I couldn’t read Fran’s mind at all. I vowed to pay even closer attention to my girlfriend from now on, then shared my thoughts.
“Going straight inside is dangerous. Judging by their behavior, it looks like they have a higher species among them.”
“A higher species… like a Hobgoblin?”
“Right. I read in a book that stealing grain instead of livestock, or posting guards, is proof that there’s a higher species around.”
The source was Professor Brammaton’s. The rest is omitted.
The full passage went like this.
─It is common in animal societies for some members of a group to keep watch for nearby enemies. Some monsters do something similar and post guards.
─However, low-intelligence, selfish monsters like goblins prioritize their own comfort and pleasure over keeping watch for enemies.
─The fact that goblins like these stand guard is proof that there is a powerful higher species they cannot resist with their own strength.
─Because goblins are monsters who judge everything by strength.
Look at that. Isn’t it written in simple words, easy for even adventurers who don’t study much to read?
How wonderful! Our supervising professor really is something else.
“They might have rigged something inside the temple, so I want to make them come outside.”
And so I explained the rough plan. It wasn’t complicated, so I finished quickly.
“Yeah, sounds good! Let’s do that!”
Since Fran’s response wasn’t bad, we put the plan into action. We picked up some stones nearby and went to the temple entrance.
‘Ready, right arm?’
I asked my right arm how it was feeling. It flexed its solid muscles to show it was in perfect shape. Perfect. I held up my fingers where Fran could see and counted to three.
I leisurely folded one finger at a time.
3, 2, 1───
‘GO- SHOT!!’
─Whoosh!!
─Whizz!!
The throwing knife and stone we launched together hit the two goblins in the face!
─Crunch!!
─Pshuk!!
The stone I threw sank deep into the goblin’s mug like an avocado pit. Fran’s throwing knife lodged in the goblin’s skull, carving a clean slice through its brain.
─Thud.
The moment the two guards died, we put the plan into action.
“Move, move, move.”
Fran and I pressed ourselves against the wall beside the entrance. Then I combined a spell with both arms in Beast Regression mode and activated it.
“<Summon Cloud>.”
─Shwhaaaaaaak!!
This was another puffy-cloud operation. But it wasn’t Mamamoo. These bastards were so short that I couldn’t pinpoint their positions on my own.
So I planned to add another spell to the mix.
“<Burning Hand>.”
Beast Regression + <Summon Cloud> + <Burning Hand>.
A triple great-magic combination.
Since this was my first attempt, I didn’t expect it to work. It’d be nice if it did, and no big deal if it didn’t—but the spell combination worked.
‘Well, I guess it’s silly to call this a spell combination.’
I was just heating the steam that had formed with the heat of my hands. The spells were activated simultaneously, but they weren’t combined at the level of the spell formula.
Shwhaaaaaaak─!!
Still, the heated steam reached a satisfying temperature. I controlled it and roughly shoved it into the temple.
‘Operation Fake Fire Incident!!’
The idea for this operation came from what the bandits had said the last time I used Mamamoo.
─You bastards!! What is this smoke!! Is it a fire?!
When the thick fog obscured their vision, the first bandit I’d met had said that. Even though, logically, smoke from a fire shouldn’t be damp.
It was scientific proof that an ignorant person couldn’t think straight when startled.
I didn’t think that was pathetic. If smoke suddenly poured in while Fran and I were fooling around on an inn bed, I’d probably panic and go check, too.
Anyway, this time I’d gone so far as to heat the steam with the high-powered <Burning Hand>. So the goblins, who were just as ignorant as the bandits, would—
“Krak!! (Danger!!)”
“Krak!! (Danger!!)”
──come rushing out like this.
‘Thank you, Professoblin Slayer.’
I thanked the Professoblin Slayer who’d provided the basic idea for this plan.
Here, “Professoblin” is a portmanteau of professor and goblin.
Therefore, the Professoblin Slayer is a season-limited SSR character who only appears in goblin extermination quests!!
“Let us test our new power!!!”
I charged the goblins pouring out.
I didn’t draw my sword; I extended the claws of Beast Regression. I wouldn’t get hurt even if they hit me, so let’s test out the new skill to our hearts’ content this time!!
The thrill of using a new skill after a second job advancement made my pounding biceps dance the Poppin!!
“Soul-Sundering Iron Claw!!!”
I swung the claws of my right hand!!
The goblin’s head, struck by my claws, burst apart like a melon smashed by a butcher’s cleaver, scattering like honeycomb pork belly!! I was overjoyed at my new skill’s performance!!
“This is fucking great!! Its performance is no joke!!”
“Hyah!!”
Fran made full use of her new weapons, too. She smashed the head of a nearby goblin with the hammer in her right hand, then threw a throwing knife she drew with her left. Both attacks hit, and the number of goblins dwindled in the blink of an eye.
About seven or eight left!!
“<Freezing Hand>!!”
─Crackle!!
Temporary relief from cold hands and feet!! The <Freezing Hand> activated through spell combination smashed the goblins’ heads with a chill colder than autumn weather!!
“Gyaaaah!!”
─Crack!!
The blood that spilled when I crushed their heads cooled in the freezing chill. Not enough to freeze instantly, I guess. Still, it was plenty powerful.
“Krakaaah!! (Danger aaaaaah!!) ”
“Krak──!! (Danger──!!) ”
The remaining brats realized they’d been ambushed, but it was too late. The outcome had already been decided.
“Sorry. Our levels were just too different.”
─Thud!!
My hand, imbued with subzero cold, grabbed the goblin’s head.
The remaining two got an Iron Claw—no, an Ice Claw from me, their eyes, noses, and mouths blocked. Unable to scream, they suffocated as ice covered their entire faces.
“Cry in silence.”
─Thud!
The more than ten goblins were wiped out by our all-out attack, making the most of the ambush. I deactivated <Freezing Hand>.
“That was over in no time!”
Fran came hopping over with a smile.
Just seeing her smile made me happy, too, but I checked the corpses and shook my head.
“The higher species didn’t come outside, though.”
“Maybe it’s waiting inside? Did it send only its underlings to scout?”
“Probably. The way it acts is just like a professor exploiting graduate students—”
I flinched mid-sentence. The <Summon Cloud> spell I’d sent into the temple had been forcibly dispelled.
‘Did it nullify my magic?’
Frowning, I turned toward the temple, now clearly visible.
“……Fran. Looks like the one inside is a shaman.”
──A goblin shaman.
No, to be precise, a Hobgoblin shaman?
“But it’s not that skilled.”
I didn’t know how it did it, but it had taken quite a while to dispel the low-level <Summon Cloud>. It was 100% weaker than Tirsi.
Hearing me, Fran said seriously,
“Still, Nord. Don’t let your guard down.”
“Yeah. Thanks for worrying about me. I’ll be careful.”
And so Fran and I steeled ourselves and entered the temple.
If we didn’t take that bastard out, the quest wouldn’t be complete. I was confident I could win, so I wasn’t scared. What was a goblin, some five-star veteran mage?
Creeeeak─.
I opened the rusty door and entered the largest room in the temple.
This was probably a space built for praying to the gods. But that sacred place had been turned into the site of a barbaric, horrific ritual by some cruel monster.
The floor was covered in drawings made with animal blood, and in the center a scrawny Hobgoblin was stabbing something with a knife.
─Stab!!
“Wqaaz UThu Aight!! (You insolent humans!!)”
The Hobgoblin crammed the meat it had been stabbing into its mouth as it spoke.
The creature got to its feet, leaning on a staff. The delicious meat it had been eating was snake meat. There was a heap of heads in the corner of the magic circle—at a glance, more than ten.
“AAs IThu ZepoR Daags? (How dare you defile my home?)”
The Hobgoblin glaring at us as it said that had skin the same color as human flesh.
Saying “skin-colored” might sound racially insensitive, so to be precise, it was a light ivory tone.
“Cut the bullshit. If you didn’t want people trespassing, you shouldn’t have been stealing.
I felt no need to listen to the creature. Research into Hobgoblin culture had long since been demoted to an antiquated field.
Goblin shaman bastards used their own magic, based on modified runic characters. It was nothing special, and the drawings on the floor and ornaments made of animal bones meant nothing. It was all superstition.
─Shing.
Since I was facing a mage, I drew my sword. At the familiar feel of it, the Professor Slayer growled in my heart.
That bastard knew a little magic, so it sent its underlings into danger while it sat there picking at its food. And did it hunt those snakes itself? No, it probably ordered its underlings to get them because it wanted to eat them.
Maybe some of them had been friends or family to Kabutomaru.
An exploitation pyramid formed by goblins exploiting others who exploited them!! That Hobgoblin shaman bastard was the professor reigning at its peak!!!
“Squeak squeak squeak. (You’re dead.)”
The enraged words of a squirrel slipped out. Its fierce anger became white flames, setting the hatred in my chest ablaze!!
“──You’re getting the ‘professor’ treatment.”
Tatatat─!!
I kicked off from the temple floor and charged!!
I’d offer that bastard’s head to Kabutomaru!!! As I dashed at the Hobgoblin, it raised its staff and shouted.
“ᚺ(Hagalaz)!!!”
Zzzzzzt─.
When it shouted, I felt a chill run down the back of my neck.
Was it a shiver? No. My intuition had sensed the flow of mana.
‘──The ceiling!!’
Feeling mana gather on the temple ceiling, I jumped to the side. Then a bolt of lightning slammed down where I’d been standing.
─KABOOM!
Sssss…
It was stronger magic than I’d expected. Judging by the scorch mark on the floor, it would’ve hurt quite a bit even in Beast Regression mode.
‘The ᚼ(Hagall) rune?’
I recalled the spell it had shouted and looked at the ceiling.
It was a variant of one of the runes I knew, one that meant “unforeseen trial.” I could feel its mana coming from the drawings of lightning and clouds on the ceiling.
‘It remodeled this temple’s prayer chamber.’
The scribbles on the floor that looked like a magic circle meant nothing, but the drawings on the ceiling were a means of supporting rune magic.
“Hmph.”
I snorted at the sight.
‘It’s not that threatening.’
That was why.
The reason the Mages’ Guild developed magic based on runic language, but didn’t use pure rune magic.
Pure rune magic had broad meanings and wide-ranging applications, so it was hard to handle. Most of the magic that remained after the fall of the ancient civilization was for support purposes, too.
It seemed the otherworld’s green brats could act like gods with that kind of thing, but──to me, it looked like child’s play.
The one thing that surprised me was that the magic was a little more powerful than it should’ve been for a dumbass like this.
Realizing what was behind the magic’s unusual power, I asked the Hobgoblin,
“Uqi. Tol Stafp CosaKu? (You. Where’d you get that staff?)”
“──Xua? (What?)”
The Hobgoblin was greatly startled by my question. It seemed so flustered it even forgot to point its staff at me.
“Seriously, these fucking assholes get surprised even when you ask them in their own language!!!”
The moment I spotted an opening, I dashed forward!
“If you get surprised when someone talks to you, why the fuck did you even start talking to us in your language?!”
“──ᚺ(Hagalaz)!!!”
─Bang!! Ka-boom!!
The startled creature fired magic wildly, but all it could do was strike straight down from the ceiling to the floor. Dodging was easy as hell.
The pattern was just like a game. I only had to sense the mana on the ceiling and stay out from under it!!
“Hey, after missing this many times, you ought to hit eventually! Shoot some more!!”
“Haga── GyaaaaaaacccCC!!”
─Stab!!
A throwing knife flew into the Hobgoblin’s eye as it angrily swung its staff. It was Fran’s knife.
“The hell, why isn’t this working!! Huh?! You aim-blind bastard!!”
“ᚺ(Hagalaz)──!!!”
“If you miss with your eyes open, how the hell is closing them supposed to help!!!!”
─Whizz!
─KABOOM!
The stray lightning only scorched the innocent floor. Meanwhile, Fran kept hurling throwing knives from outside the prayer room.
─Stab, stab, stab!
“Fran!! Don’t kill it!!”
“Okay!!”
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaccc!!!!!!!”
Throwing knives kept flying into its arm.
The Hobgoblin shaman flailed and screamed, but it didn’t shoot lightning at Fran. This dumbass could only cast lightning in the prayer room connected to the ceiling!!
─Thwack!!
I rushed in and kicked the skinny shaman in the stomach. I must’ve controlled my strength well, because the Hobgoblin dropped its staff and slammed into the wall.
─Bang!!
“D’oh!!”
The shaman hit its head hard and fell backward.
I pinned it down by stepping on its solar plexus and pressed my sword against the back of its neck. As the sharp blade flashed, the Hobgoblin gulped.
It was every bit the dumbass I’d expected. I pushed the blade in, lightly slicing the skin on its neck, and asked,
“Tell me, asshole. Where’d you get that staff?”