Chapter 80
“If the bathhouse doesn’t open until after eight, let’s find an inn first.”
We had to unpack, too, so we found a decent inn.
It was called the Paradise of Gladiators. Not Valhalla or anything—what kind of name was that? It sounded like a place you’d never leave once you went in.
“Two copper a night!”
I paid the bright-smiling girl waitress and rented a room. Including meals, it came to four copper, and we went upstairs to drop off our luggage.
“Once we report back, we’ll be Bronze Class, huh?”
Fran said, looking unsettled as she put our things down.
“This quest ended a little too easily for us to celebrate, though.”
“We knew it might turn out this way, didn’t we? Better than something dangerous. We got lucky.”
I said, carefully hiding my Arthur Wayne outfit.
I’d snatched up this quest thinking it would be an escort job where we wouldn’t actually have to protect anyone. Better this than some annoying, infuriating mess like the goblin extermination fiasco last time.
“Hmm. Is it okay to just be happy?”
“The kids will get home safely, too. That’s enough.”
“I guess so.”
Fran’s expression relaxed, and she came rushing into my arms with a silly grin. Even though hugging me while I was wearing armor must’ve felt awful, she didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Hehe. This feels kind of strange.”
“What does?”
“I think I’m happier that we did it together, Nord, than I am about getting promoted.”
“Hehe. Same here. Let’s have something delicious to celebrate when we get back.”
I gently held Fran’s head and stroked her hair.
“I’ll put on a mask and submit my thesis tomorrow morning. Tabula’s mask could be dangerous if anyone recognizes it, so I’ll have to borrow yours, Fran.”
“Pfft. It’ll be too small for you, Nord.”
“Damn. Then I’ll have to wrap cloth around my face.”
We finished our affectionate little moment and went downstairs.
For dinner, this inn let you choose between steamed sausages and braised chicken legs. I ordered the sausages and regretted it one minute later. They were fucking salty.
I forced down the salt-cured sausages with water and bread and finished eating. Then I checked the time. It was eight now, a perfectly reasonable time to go wash up.
“Miss? Where’s the bathhouse around here?”
“Just keep going toward the east gate of the Colosseum.”
The waitress answered my question as if she was glad to have something to do. The place was small, so it didn’t seem very busy even at dinner time.
“Are you two going to the bathhouse?”
“Yes. We like to keep clean.”
“Then you’d be better off going after ten. It gets really crowded around now. In the women’s bath, people rub against each other like bread dough being kneaded, and the men’s bath is so cramped you’ll have to wait outside the tub naked.”
What the fuck kind of hellscape was that? Men packed naked into a tiny space, groaning and squeezing past each other—what was this, a military bathhouse right after some long training exercise?
“Is it always that crowded?”
“My family has a bathtub, so I don’t know if it’s like that every day. The public bath is open from eight until midnight, but I can’t go then because I’m working.”
“You have it rough.”
“I’m used to it. Still, the customers say it’s pretty quiet after ten. If you go any later, you have to rush through your bath because you’re running out of time.”
I nodded. For people in this other world, who got up as early as four or five in the morning, ten was probably the latest sensible time for a bath.
If we went at ten, even if we came right back and crashed, we wouldn’t be asleep until midnight.
Even people who’d awakened mana couldn’t endure living on less than four hours of sleep for long. I couldn’t beat the Sandman yet, either. Even if you were some goddamn ironman, lack of sleep was the enemy of focus and health.
“Tsk… Fran, what should we do? I don’t want to wash while being jostled around. I’ll probably be drenched in sweat again by the time I’m done.”
“Same here. Can’t be helped. We’ll just have to wait until ten.”
Avoiding the human sauna, we decided to wait at the inn. The waitress, who’d been wiping her hands on her apron, spoke up.
“If you’re bored waiting around, why not go see the circus?”
“The circus?”
At the rather sudden suggestion, Fran’s eyes widened.
“Yes. There are two circus troupes from Romagna staying in our city right now. They perform at the Colosseum from nine to ten-thirty.”
The waitress pouted as if annoyed.
“Fewer people come here for drinks because they go to see that. Thanks to them, the place is this quiet, but Dad’s got me by the ear so I can’t go see it either, and all I can do is ask the customers and imagine what it’s like──”
“Kate!! Are you whining to the customers again!!”
“Eek!”
At the burly voice from the kitchen, the waitress trembled and hurriedly rattled off,
“Anyway, you should definitely go! And I’d be grateful if you told me what you thought afterward!! Dad’s about to chew me out, so I’ll be going now!!”
Ziiiip─!
The mustachioed chef chased after the waitress, who’d dodged out the back door. Fran chuckled at the slapstick-comedy-worthy chase, then gave me a meaningful look.
“Nord. You know, I’ve never seen a circus in my life…….”
“Really? Then let’s go.”
If my girlfriend wanted to see it, I’d go even if it were a dragon’s nest.
“Yay! You’re the best, Nord!”
Fran threw her hands up in delight. Was it my imagination, or did she look happier than when our promotion had been confirmed? Well, whatever the reason, if Fran was happy, so was I.
─Clatter.
We left the plates, cleaned of every last bit of food, roughly stacked on the table and headed to the Colosseum.
Maybe they held the show at nine in the evening to get as many customers as possible. It was harvest season, so if they held it in broad daylight, only people with nothing to do or rich folk would come.
I seemed to be right, because the road to the Colosseum was packed with people.
“Hey!! Run!! We’ll lose the good seats!!”
“I’m not paying the same price just to sit in the very back and stare at the backs of the people in front of me!!”
There were people whose hair was still wet after bathing, and others whose faces were covered in soot, as if they hadn’t washed all day. All sorts of people were sprinting toward the same place with all their might.
“Looks like the fight for seats is pretty fierce.”
Fran said, sounding a little anxious.
There was no way we were going all the way there just to get the very back row. And this was Fran’s first circus, too! Thinking that, I rolled my shoulders and hoisted Fran onto my back.
─Flash!
“Nord?”
“Little Locomotive Nord is back in service.”
“Pfft. I’m not a princess, but you’re always carrying me around.”
Though she said that, Fran seemed used to it by now; she didn’t even look surprised as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I kissed her smooth, hairless cheek and activated Beast Regression.
The machismo night taxi, with its love-fueled late-night surcharge, shifted into gear.
“Chugga-chugga, choo!!!”
“Whaaa?!”
“W-what is that?! Did an animal escape from the circus?!”
I dashed past the startled people! When the road was blocked, I used sturdy-looking nearby buildings as footholds, stomping or leaping off them until we reached the Colosseum.
Whoosh─!
─Thud!
“Eeeek♡!”
When I finally landed after dropping from the height of a one-story building, Fran let out a delighted shriek. Her cheek rubbing against mine as she clung to my neck was a nice bonus.
“Well, are you one of our colleagues?”
The circus performer stationed at the entrance joked in a playful tone. I set Fran down and pulled out my wallet.
“Of course not. We’re customers. How much is admission?”
“Oh! Is that so? My apologies! Admission is three copper for children and five copper for adults!”
What the fuck was with those prices? My mind was blown, and my balls were trembling in their britches. A polite inquiry about the circus troupe’s parents was crawling up my throat, but I punched it in the uvula and swallowed it back down.
Circus tickets for the two of us came to a hundred thousand won.
‘Damn, that’s expensive.’
Still, I coolly paid. A man shouldn’t balk at the cost of an event like this in front of his girlfriend.
If you weren’t earning much, your girlfriend might understand. But if you had a decent income and still started calculating value for money during a date she was excited about?
Especially if you happily scarfed down the meals your girlfriend cooked for you, while only feeding her one-copper gukbap?
A person with any conscience shouldn’t live like that.
The circus was one of the few forms of visual entertainment in this other world. I told myself it was like going to the movies several times at once.
“Thank you! Here are your tickets to a night of magic for this handsome couple!”
The circus performer handed us the slips of paper with an exaggerated gesture.
“We are the Plangúncŭla! We’ll give you the most delightful feast for the eyes!”
The ticket had the date and a stamp on it. I guess we had to show it to the guards inside to get through.
“Plangúncŭla……? It sounds a little like my name! Nord, do you know what it means?”
“Probably a doll made of wax.”
“A doll? Are they going to do a puppet show?”
Fran carefully clutched the five-copper slip of paper. We showed our tickets and went inside the Colosseum.
─Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur!!
Hundreds of people had gathered inside the Colosseum.
Were the seats first come, first served? Almost half of them were already taken, so we went as close to the front as we could. At this distance, it wasn’t too far for Fran and me. If you ignored the height issue.
“……I can’t see!”
Fran stood on tiptoe and even hopped, then drooped in disappointment.
“Hehe. Come here. I’ll give you a shoulder ride.”
“W-what?! N-no! I’m not a little kid!”
Fran was sensitive about her height, so she got a little angry and refused. But when I turned around and patted my shoulders, she eventually climbed on as if reluctantly giving in.
“Ugh……. From up here, everyone I make eye contact with is a kid…….”
Fran muttered, covering her face.
At that, I looked around at the people carrying someone on their shoulders like I was. In a seat farther away, I saw a little boy blushing as he looked at Fran.
Did he think she was his age because she was short? Maybe he’d just discovered sexuality thanks to Fran’s violent cleavage.
‘But this little pervert?’
How dare he set his sights on our Fran? I glared at the kid with murderous intent without Fran noticing. The little boy shivered under the killing intent of a seasoned adventurer, then burst into tears.
I smiled with satisfaction at the sight and turned my eyes back to the Colosseum stage.
As we waited like that, more people continued to pour in and fill the seats behind us. Then a woman in a man’s tailcoat walked out onto the sand at the center.
“Ladies and gentlemen!! Thank you sincerely for coming to our ‘Circus Plangúncŭla’ today!!”
She was probably the troupe’s representative──in other words, the ringmaster. Maybe in her thirties? Pretty young.
She spread both arms and spoke into a wand fitted with amplification magic.
“A welcome to those of you joining us for the first time!! A joy to see those of you returning!! The grand show by our proud circus performers, here to give everyone who came tonight the best memories of their lives!!”
The ringmaster brought her feet together, pointed at the night sky with her index finger, and shouted in a loud, high voice.
“From this momeeent──!! We beee-gin!!!”
─BOOM!!
Something like fireworks exploded at the Colosseum entrance, hyping up the atmosphere. I could feel mana, so it was probably some kind of magic.
“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!”
“Show us the elephant, elephant!!!!”
“Larilura!! Larilura!! Larilura!!”
─Clap clap clap clap!!!!
The people filling the nearby seats clapped and cheered in the feverish atmosphere. But when everyone raised their hands in front of and behind me, I couldn’t see the stage properly. Fuckers had no sense of audience etiquette.
─Poooooo!!
The circus began with enormous elephants.
Two elephants, gray and huge, with long tusks, circled the stage wearing checkered outfits.
They even danced nimbly despite their size, which was astonishing even by my standards. It felt like watching an animal at the zoo doing tricks.
“Nord! Look at that!! They’re huge!!!”
If even I, a twenty-first-century Earthling, felt that way, then imagine how Fran, who’d never seen a circus before, felt.
Our Fran’s excitement shot up in the blink of an eye at the sight of the elephant, which made the ringmaster at the center of the stage look like a chopstick. The ringmaster must have put an impressive creature up front for exactly this reason. She was good at her job.
“They really are!! They’re enormous!!”
I answered enthusiastically so as not to dampen Fran’s excitement, and turned my attention back to the circus.
─Dudududut!!
A creature the size of a person, probably a baby elephant, darted out from between the elephants and ran to the center of the stage. It was wearing a checkered circus outfit, too.
─Whoosh!
A circus performer who appeared at the entrance tossed a huge ball. It was like an exercise ball made of alchemical rubber.
The elephant climbed onto it and wobbled as it tried to keep its balance. Even I was genuinely excited by the sight. Fuck! To think I’d get to see something I’d only ever seen in a movie!
“Ooh, it got on!! It really got on!!”
“Is the ball not going to burst?! Is it lighter than it looks?!”
“Which son of a bitch spilled wine on my back?!”
The audience shouted their own excited comments. Fran was moving around, showing how thrilled she was. Her crotch touched the back of my head, and I caught a sweet feminine scent.
Fuck, I’m excited for a completely different reason. Is this circus in 4D?
That was when, while I was losing my mind over Fran’s scent, a girl dashed out from the entrance.
─Patat!
─Whirl! Flip! Spin!!
The girl moved acrobatically to the center of the stage, showing off all sorts of flashy feats—backflips, cartwheels, even three spins in midair—then leaped toward the elephant on the ball.
“Pooooo!! (Yay!!)”
The baby elephant let out a spirited cry and let the girl climb onto it.
Amazingly, the girl moved as if she weighed nothing, used the ball-riding baby elephant for support as she spun, and landed on its long trunk.
A gym ball, with a baby elephant on top! And a girl on its trunk!
It was a superhuman display of balance, an incredible feat! It seemed downright impossible in an Earth circus, and even my jaw dropped.
─Flash!
The girl atop the elephant’s trunk smiled brightly and scattered confetti. While we were focused on her, musicians gathered throughout the Colosseum stage and began to play.
─Ba-ba-baaaaam!!
Ba-ba-bam─! Bam! Baaaaaaam──!!
“Oooooooooaaaaaah──!!!”
“She’s standing!!! That girl’s standing up there!!!”
“Good heavens─!! What if she falls from so high up?!”
“Larilura!! Larilura!! Larilura!! Larilura──!!”
The girl standing on the elephant’s trunk gave a comical bow to the cheering crowd. She leaned her upper body that far without falling—was that even physically possible? I couldn’t feel any mana.
Slide─.
She lifted her head and smiled. Was she barely an adult? She was a beautiful girl with makeup in the shapes of ♥ and ♠ on her cheeks.
Her outfit was like a clown’s. No, I guess she really was a clown.
Starting with the two-pronged hat on her head, she wore a clown suit with different colors on the left and right. It also showed quite a bit of skin, here and there.
It was definitely the flashiest outfit in the Colosseum. She stood out like crazy.
A pink-haired beauty who was clearly this circus’s ace, or at least one of its leading stars!
She spun on the elephant’s trunk, winking brightly at the audience, then cupped her hands in front of her mouth like a megaphone and shouted.
“Everyone~♡!! Thank you for coming to see me again today~☆!!”
Her voice was sweet, as if someone had dipped sugar in honey.
“Then I’ll get started, okay? Larilura’s acrobatic shoow♥!! Enjoy!!”
─BOOM!!
Fireworks went off again, and torches lit up the Colosseum stage.
At last, the circus was beginning.