Chapter 12
What sets sex apart from masturbation is that the act doesn't end when you ejaculate.
Even after I spill my desire, the female body wafting a heavy, lewd scent remains joined to me.
I can hold her,
lick her,
and taste her once more.
I carefully pull out the thick cock that had been tormenting her vaginal opening.
I also remove the condom, its tip swollen taut and faint traces of her defloration still clinging to it.
I must have had more intense sex than this before, but I'd certainly never ejaculated this much.
I carefully tie up the thing I've wanted to hold up before her eyes someday, then toss it onto the blanket beneath me.
“Haa⋯.”
Though no one taught me this, a sigh escapes on its own after ejaculation, and a chill runs down my spine.
She, too, must never have learned this from anyone, yet she pants and trembles all over.
It may differ from person to person, but I love the emptiness that comes after expelling my desire like this.
Because it makes me feel as though I've conquered the woman in front of me.
I want to press my skin against hers a little longer.
“⋯Turn onto your side. I'll hold you.”
I climb down from atop Seo Ha-eun, retrieve the pillow tucked beneath her waist, and lie beside her like a pair of spoons.
It was a position suited to married couples or lovers, not one suited to Seo Ha-eun and me.
I loved this position.
Because I could feel the other person's body with my own instead of merely looking at it.
Her side breast, visible even from behind.
The curve that ran past her ribs, dipped inward, and then suddenly surged up from her pelvis.
Her plump buttocks, jutting out even though she was curled up like a shrimp.
“Your body is really beautiful, Ha-eun.”
Even after ejaculating, my cock, still refusing to go soft, goes between her buttocks,
I lay a hand on her lewd yet soft breast,
and quietly pull her into my arms.
“⋯.”
Seo Ha-eun simply entrusted her body to me without saying a word.
She only panted in ragged breaths.
What could she possibly be thinking right now?
A man with not a single redeeming quality.
A man who wasn't particularly impressive in any way.
A man with whom she had built nothing but a bitter history.
She'd only listened to me for a moment because I looked dangerous, yet when she came to her senses, she found herself in the same bed as me.
Swept away by drunkenness, she'd ended up losing even the virginity she'd guarded until this age.
I'd been somewhat pushy, but she hadn't exactly refused me.
There was nowhere to place the blame.
She must feel wronged.
She must resent herself.
“You really felt a lot, considering it was your first time.”
“⋯I don't know anything about that⋯.”
As the pleasure subsided and her senses returned, her panting grew unsteady, and she eventually began to whimper.
I had only ever slept with experienced women, so this was my first time seeing a woman become tearful during pillow talk.
A woman who had hated me, in my arms.
Hearing her whimper after giving me her virginity made me feel insane.
My sadistic urge,
my desire to conquer her, surged to a fever pitch.
“In my dreams, even when you screamed, I couldn't stop myself⋯, but in reality, I couldn't do it. I thought I was a complete piece of shit, but I guess I'm not that bad.”
“You bastard⋯. Sob⋯.”
But for now, I had to comfort her.
I hugged her a little more tightly,
and stroked her until she calmed down.
Her hair or her skin.
Then I only needed to whisper my love to her once more.
I could express it with my mouth,
or show it with my body.
Whether it was pure Platonic love,
or Eros born of a darkened heart, either was fine.
“Sob⋯, haa. Haeu⋯.”
I stroked her beige hair until her whimpering stopped.
I gently stroked her from her breasts to her navel, soothing her heart.
Her heart, pounding with every emotion tangled inside it, also slowed under my gentle pressure.
I cooled her fevered body, using my warmth to bring it down to lukewarm without letting it grow cold.
“⋯I'll put on a condom, so stay still.”
The moment I felt her breathing become steady, I pressed down with my fingers from her navel to her clitoris.
The hand that had been stroking her hair reached back, retrieved a condom from the wallet rolling around nearby, and tore open the package with my teeth.
Without even looking, I skillfully put on the condom and brought the glans to her still-slick vaginal opening.
“It'll hurt less than before, so don't tense up.”
I pushed my cock in much more easily than before, then left it lodged at the entrance and stopped.
Then I took Seo Ha-eun by the chin and turned her toward me.
Tears beaded in her eyes, and her hair was wet through.
Though thoroughly wet, her disheveled face bore no trace of smeared makeup.
Yet strangely, that made her look sexier than any makeup could.
Was it because, with my head on the pillow, I could see her alluring rear even when she curled like a shrimp?
Was it because, looking down at her with my head raised, I could see nothing but her rounded breasts?
Was it because, when I slightly lifted the middle finger teasing her clitoris, it brushed against her sparse pubic hair?
Or was it because I couldn't forget the faint traces of her defloration left on the condom I'd taken off earlier?
I couldn't say which was the answer, but one thing was certain.
“I told you before, but if it hurts, say it hurts. I'll go slowly.”
“⋯You're not planning to stop, are you⋯?”
“It's because you turn me on. You're incomparably more desirable than any other woman.”
I wasn't satisfied at all.
To hold a woman like this,
for only one day was far too wasteful.
That could never satisfy me.
“If I mix in some caresses, it'll be much easier for you to feel good. You felt a lot earlier when I did it while kissing you.”
“I-I didn't feeeel it⋯.”
“You did. You trembled all over and squeezed my cock. Look. That's what you squeezed out.”
I picked up the condom I had just used and held it before Seo Ha-eun's eyes, making her directly confront her own first experience.
Seo Ha-eun stared at it with a blank expression, then squeezed her eyes shut and turned her head away.
But I had no intention of letting her escape, so I tossed away the condom and turned her face back toward me.
This time, I clasped her right hand so she couldn't cover her eyes,
then lifted my head from the pillow for a moment and looked down at her.
“Ha-eun, I don't know why you accepted me. But I want to satisfy you as much as I can.”
“I never accepted you⋯.”
“You did. You nodded, said ‘yes,’ and even licked my tongue.”
“⋯I didn't nod⋯.”
“Don't worry about little things like that. Just be honest. ⋯You felt a lot earlier, didn't you?”
“⋯Ugh, ngh⋯.”
When she refused to voice her shameful memories, I pushed my cock in a little roughly.
So that half of it tormented the inside of her vagina.
I pressed just below her navel and pushed it deep inside.
“Ah, it hurts⋯.”
“You didn't feel good this time—you were in pain, right?”
“Mm⋯.”
“Was it better earlier?”
“⋯.”
When Seo Ha-eun stubbornly kept her mouth shut, I thrust my cock in roughly once more.
This time, while pressing firmly against her clitoris.
Even places I hadn't touched before,
I roughly violated them.
“Haaak⋯, ah, it hurts, I said it hurts⋯!”
“Does it hurt? Do you want me to pull out?”
“Pull it out, pull it out. Quickly⋯, haaak⋯.”
From inside her, I carefully pulled my cock out as she cried out from the pain of my inconsiderate penetration.
I gently tickled her vaginal walls with the angled part of my glans while giving her nipple a dangerously light pinch.
Then I softly slid it back in, stimulating the pleasure spots that had made her feel so much earlier,
until she even nodded this time.
I slowly melted Seo Ha-eun.
“Haaak, heek⋯, hng⋯.”
“Does this not hurt?”
“It hurts, though not as much as earlier⋯.”
“Really?”
“Yes⋯! Huu⋯.”
Again and again,
I kept gently scraping her vaginal walls without sparing her until she admitted it.
So she could only recall the pleasure she had enjoyed earlier,
while I made sure she could never reach that same pleasure again.
“Earlier, I scraped you much more roughly than this, but you seemed to enjoy it far more.”
“W-what, what are you talking aboout⋯!”
“Like that. You were moaning like that and clinging to me. You squeezed tightly here every time I kissed you.”
“Don't say dirty, dirty things⋯, ngh⋯!”
“When I pounded your virgin pussy with my glans, you even wrapped your arms around my neck, panted, and sucked on my tongue. I remember everything. Your body remembers it, too.”
“Haa, haaak⋯, stop, stop it⋯.”
As I retraced her first experience with every vulgar word I could think of, I probed her vaginal walls at far less intensity than before, just enough to make them tingle.
I didn't kiss her anymore, either.
I never let go of our clasped right hands.
I didn't pinch her nipples, either.
I merely pressed down on her tongue again and again with my fingers,
gently raked her nipples with my fingernails,
and repeatedly brushed against her clitoris, stimulating only below her navel as though I might press down but never quite doing so.
“Ha-eun, this isn't enough for you, is it?”
“Hek, he⋯, wh-what isn't⋯?”
Instead, I carefully guided our clasped hands downward,
and placed her slender fingers on top of her clitoris.
Then I released her hand and slipped my own beneath her armpit,
using both hands to savor Seo Ha-eun's full breasts as I whispered into her ear.
“If it's not enough, here. You have hands, too. ⋯Touch yourself. You must have masturbated before, even if sex with me is your first time.”
I hadn't forced her to do anything.
I merely placed her fingers, coated only in clear nail polish, on her own vulva.
Then I tightly embraced her, squeezed her breasts, and thrust my cock into her just as I had during her first experience.
“Mm⋯, ngh⋯, huu⋯!”
But Seo Ha-eun,
perhaps having lost all restraint to the pleasure surging through her,
madly rubbed the clitoris above her vaginal opening with her own fingers as they thrust inside her,
without even hiding her vulgar moans,
and ground her buttocks against my pubic bone as it pounded into her.
My body,
my touch,
she was craving.