Chapter 18
“You're not a streamer, and you're not a YouTuber. You're not unemployed either?”
“I told you it had nothing to do with you.”
“It's not completely unrelated. I'd feel a little sorry if you had even a few fans.”
It was the sandwich I ate every day, but today I couldn't taste it.
The persistent man's questions kept grating on my ears, so I couldn't even tell whether the food was going into my mouth or my nose.
Why did this man know everything about me?
Even though I'd never told him.
Where on earth had he found it?
“Just tell me. You look like you run a YouTube channel, though. Someone like you must be popular.”
“⋯I told you, I don't.”
“Every lie shows on your face. How famous are you that you hide something like that? Do you have around a million subscribers?”
“I said I'm not!”
Even though I shrieked at him, he merely giggled instead of being startled, and that scared me.
⋯How far had this man dug into my personal information?
No one but me knew I was behind that channel.
There probably weren't even that many people watching it.
Kang Ju-hyeok was one of those few dozen people?
“Don't get so angry. I'm really just curious. I looked you up and wondered why you were doing that.”
“⋯You looked me up?”
The more Kang Ju-hyeok prattled on, the more my fear grew.
Even if he looked, there was no way he could find anything.
I'd hidden my name, face, voice, and body completely.
Even if he watched the videos, there was no way he could know they were mine.
If he could recognize me just from listening to my playing, he wasn't just some ordinary stalker.
“Of course I looked to see if you had an Instagram account, since I was planning to hit on you. Is that weird?”
“⋯I don't use Instagram.”
“You don't use Instagram, but you do YouTube. Even if you don't get many views.”
“How the hell did you⋯.”
“You can tell roughly just by looking. You don't know that?”
But Kang Ju-hyeok pressed me with an utterly matter-of-fact expression, confidently insisting that it was obvious he would know.
How on earth did he know?
How could he possibly have found videos that got only a hundred or two hundred views at most?
⋯What was this man?
A pervert?
A genius?
I didn't know.
But I did know that I had to be wary of that nasty smile of his.
“Ah, so you looked me up after fighting with your girlfriend? You weren't planning to cheat on her, were you?”
Another lie.
Either this was a lie, or everything he'd told me until now was a lie.
Or maybe both were lies.
I couldn't even tell anymore.
I even doubted whether this man was the Kang Ju-hyeok I knew.
Clearly, the Kang Ju-hyeok who had picked a fight with me several years ago had just been an ill-mannered, hot-tempered man.
“But you'd be popular if you just showed your face. Why wrap yourself up so tightly? No wonder people don't watch you.”
“⋯It's my choice.”
“At this rate, even if you upload hundreds of videos, it'll be a waste of time. You'd be better off taking a break like me.”
“Y-you have nothing to do with it⋯.”
The Kang Ju-hyeok standing before me now was a slick, shameless sociopath.
He looked like an all-knowing Buddha, seeing through every last thing about me and playing with me.
I wasn't merely afraid anymore; I was terrified.
Maybe he'd known everything from the beginning and approached me on purpose.
Our reunion two weeks ago,
the expression on his face when he genuinely rejoiced after getting Jia's autograph,
the trainer who hit on me,
the dying expression he wore while complaining about the pain of heartbreak,
the cocktail he subtly ordered after luring me into the bar,
the several condoms he had in his wallet,
hadn't all of it been part of his plan?
“It does have something to do with me, so give me your phone. I'll give you some advice.”
“Wait, don't just touch someone else's phone⋯!”
Even the shameless act of touching someone else's phone without permission terrified me.
I had the baseless suspicion that if Kang Ju-hyeok took my phone away for just five minutes, he might even install some strange app that tracked me by GPS.
It made no sense logically, but with that man, it seemed like something he might do.
Maybe he had installed tiny cameras all around the house while I was showering.
⋯I knew it was paranoia,
but my thoughts kept stretching only in the worst direction.
“Fine, then open your channel yourself. I won't touch it.”
“⋯.”
Fortunately, he raised both hands and moved slightly away from me, which put me a little more at ease.
It was obvious he'd try something strange again if I didn't show him, so I gripped my phone tightly, trembling, and opened my channel.
⋯I really didn't want him to find out.
I didn't want him to know it was me.
But he'd already found out, so there was nothing I could do.
For some reason,
I was afraid to ask because I felt I'd be even more frightened if I knew.
“⋯Look from a distance. Don't touch it.”
“I told you, I won't.”
I straightened my back and held my phone against my chest, showing him only the screen.
91 subscribers.
23 videos.
Every thumbnail was a tranquil landscape photograph along with the sheet music for the song I'd played.
I'd uploaded one every other day since February, but it was a pathetic channel with nothing to show for it.
“Isn't the channel name Sophia kind of weird?”
“⋯It's my choice.”
At first, I'd planned to do it as a hobby.
I'd quit my job, so I had plenty of free time, and I didn't have any other particular hobbies.
Maybe I should play the guitar I'd once messed around with.
If I was going to play anyway, I might as well record it on my phone.
Damn, how good are that bitch Jia's ears, if she keeps coming down from upstairs?
Was she telling me to install soundproofing or something because playing guitar was noisy?
Hah, fine. It wasn't like you were planning to pay me back anyway.
And somehow, I ended up with this setup.
The equipment was much better than what I'd had when I was pursuing it seriously.
⋯Should I at least upload what I've recorded so far?
My friends did things like vlogging as hobbies, too.
Wow, a whole hundred people watched it even though I wasn't even that good.
The next video got a hundred views too.
⋯Ninety.
Forty.
“Play the video from two weeks ago. I found you by watching that.”
“⋯How on earth did you recognize me from this?”
“Just play it.”
It was a performance video of a famous pop song that I'd uploaded two weeks earlier.
Like the others, it was an ordinary video containing nothing but the sound of a guitar.
No matter how many times I listened to it, there was no way for anyone but me to know that I was the one playing.
“Have you ever heard me play guitar⋯?”
“No, I haven't.”
“Then how the hell⋯.”
“I know because you just showed me. I told you I can see it in your eyes when you lie.”
“⋯.”
⋯Crazy bastard.
I'd forgotten that this man could rattle off lies without batting an eye.
I got fooled again by his self-assured attitude, as if he really knew everything about me.
⋯So annoying.
So annoying, so annoying, so annoying!
“Ha-eun, but seriously, what is this? You seem to play guitar okay, but why don't you appear in your videos? Even showing your hands would multiply your views tenfold.”
“⋯Haa, fuck⋯.”
I couldn't stand the way he kept offering one piece of advice after another in a tone that showed he had no idea how I'd felt when I uploaded those videos.
Every one of his words, prying into my weaknesses yet again through acting and lies, scraped at my heart.
Disgusting.
It makes me sick⋯.
“Stop glaring and give me your phone. I really don't understand, that's all.”
“You bastard⋯.”
“Why do you look like you're about to cry again? People can bluff a little.”
“You bastard! I-I don't know anything, so stop pretending you do⋯!”
“What do you mean, I don't know? I just poked you, and your face told me everything about what you do.”
“Fuck⋯.”
The feelings I couldn't vent because I was so furious poured out in the form of tears.
It wasn't even something worth crying over, but the fear and terror all turned into anger and ran down my cheeks.
Seriously, so annoying⋯.
“⋯Why are you crying? You're making things difficult.”
“I'm telling you not to toy with people, you bastard⋯.”
“What did I toy with? I didn't toy with you. How could I toy with you, huh?”
“Ah, fuck ooff⋯!”
When I couldn't stop sobbing, he stood up, came around behind me, and stroked my head.
I wanted to smack his hand away because I was angry, wronged, and disgusted, but no matter how many times I knocked it away, his hand kept returning to my head.
Despite being a garbage rapist, blackmailer, and voyeur, the hypocrisy of trying to comfort me was utterly disgusting.
Like disgusting vomit,
it was warm, which made it feel even worse.
“I'm really sorry I lied. You kept hiding it, so I dug into it because I wondered why.”
“⋯Haa, you bastard⋯! I was fucking scared, you know! Really!”
“Okay, okay. If I could identify you by watching that, I'd be a stalker, a stalker.”
“Seriously, sniff⋯. You fucking pervert⋯.”
“I'm sorry.”
His big hand messily mussed the hair he'd combed earlier.
⋯You unemployed piece of shit, just like me.
What made him think he was so great that he could run his mouth like that and try to stand above me?
Scaring the hell out of me.
Getting me drunk and raping me.
Seriously, I was terrified, thinking you were a stalker⋯.
“Stop crying and eat. You haven't even eaten half your sandwich. Huh?”
“⋯If you hadn't said all that fucked-up shit, I would've finished it ages ago⋯.”
After I cried for a long time and my anger gradually faded, he tried to deceive me again in a gentle voice.
I knew the ulterior motive hidden beneath it now.
“I said I'm sorry.”
But my heart relaxed on its own, thinking that was better than hearing his frightening, cruel voice.
Compared to the stalker bastard who saw through every move I made,
he, who pretended to know me without actually knowing me, had to be far more dangerous.
He was holding a recording no one could ever hear,
He was such a dangerous man, so why did my body let its guard down on its own?
⋯Scary bastard.
While he's asleep, I'll steal his phone and delete everything.
And from now on, I'll never see him again for the rest of my life.
Haa⋯.