Chapter 38
Leaning against him, I clack-clack my way back to the front door.
The clinking sound has stopped by now.
But my heart is still pounding loudly.
…Because I know exactly what he'll do to me once we go back.
“….”
In the elevator going up to the thirty-seventh floor, he pins me against the wall and smiles knowingly.
He doesn't caress me with lewd hands or bite my ears.
He merely presses his bulging crotch against my butt.
It's only been a short while since I got waxed, so it's still sore.
Won't he rape me without caring about that?
I told him myself that he could hold me, but there's no way that man can restrain himself.
I know, of course, that if a man and woman spend the night in the same bed,
that's what will happen.
“We're here. Let's get off.”
“…Yeah.”
With both my arms held, I waddle to the front door.
This would probably be humiliating if the neighbors saw it, too, but strangely, I wasn't embarrassed, perhaps because I wasn't wearing the collar I'd had on earlier.
…Maybe it's because everyone who needed to know already knew we were living together.
Somewhere along the way, I'd admitted it to myself.
In other people's eyes, the relationship between Kang Ju-hyeok and me
was obviously that of lovers.
“You've already washed, so go straight into my room. I'll make you some coffee and bring it over.”
“U-uh, okay….”
“It's about time we started using the new beans I bought. Ah, but, Hae-eun.”
“Why…?”
“…Take off your bra while I'm making the coffee.”
“….”
But the reality is completely different.
He merely treats me like a toy that's fun to play with; he has no affection for me.
I see him as a crazy, deranged rapist bastard, not as a lover.
So,
maybe that's why the psycho gets even more excited.
“…I really can't have sex….”
I go into his room first, throw off my bra, sit on the bed, and let out a deep breath.
This is supposed to be a room for one person, so why is this bed big enough for two?
…I don't even need to ask.
Trembling on the mattress whose purpose is obvious, I stroke my still slightly stinging vulva over my stockings.
I'd forgotten because Kang Ju-hyeok had been so frightening earlier and I was too distracted by my younger sibling and that crazy bitch.
But after touching it, I could tell there was no way it was in a condition for skin-to-skin contact.
I'm not joking; I think it'll really bleed.
No, this won't work.
“Hae-eun, what are you doing?”
“Ah, huh? No, nothing….”
“Drink your coffee. Coffee.”
While I was gently stroking my sore vulva, he suddenly flung open the door, startling me into throwing both hands up.
Fortunately, he didn't seem to notice, but if he'd caught me, I might have suffered something even more horrible.
I'd be pounced on either way, no matter what I did,
but I almost got treated like a fucking pervert masturbating in someone else's room.
…Kang Ju-hyeok is a bastard who knows exactly how to play on my weaknesses.
I don't want him to get that idea.
“Tasty?”
“…Yeah.”
I savor the fragrant coffee he made, trying somehow to hide any sign of anxiety.
When I think back on what that man did as soon as he realized I'd been trembling in fear earlier, goosebumps rise all over me.
…You fucking piece of trash.
Would a little consideration really kill you after treating someone like they were invisible? You fucking bastard….
I sip my coffee, forcing down my anger.
By the time the bottom of the mug began to show,
Kang Ju-hyeok plopped down beside me,
then immediately stretched out his left hand and slipped it under my skirt.
“Ah….”
“…Give me the cup. I'll set it down.”
…I hand him the cup.
He still hasn't touched the sore spot.
The place where my thigh and belly fold together.
He crawls a little farther up, lifts my skirt, and tugs at my stockings, tick, tick.
A few fingers slip in and gently tickle my hip bone.
“…Lie down.”
“….”
A chilly voice.
But unlike that emotionless voice from earlier,
it is a voice brimming with lust.
It would be a lie to say I'm not afraid, but this was better.
…Even if it hurts, he won't make me do anything humiliating.
Se...x, or anything like that.
I've already done it anyway.
Haa….
Kang Ju-hyeok doesn't handle me too roughly, for the most part.
Quietly, quietly.
If I just do what he says, it'll be all right….
“Undo the middle button.”
Immediately after hearing him, I undo the middle button on my shirt.
It opens wide, exposing all of my cleavage, but I wasn't embarrassed.
…Right. Let's think of him as my boyfriend just for today.
I made a stupid bet and lost, so let's count it as dating him for one day only.
Kang Ju-hyeok isn't ugly, at least.
He's disgusting as a person, but not disgusting as a man.
I just have to squeeze my eyes shut and endure it….
“You took off your bra. Good girl.”
“…Um, Kang, Kang Ju-hyeok. You know….”
“Could you lower your stockings and panties too? There's something I need to do.”
“….”
But no matter how many times I told myself I just had to endure it, the stinging pain didn't fade at all.
With trembling hands, I lower my panties and stockings together, but the farther the fabric falls away from my vulva, the more my fear grows.
If I let that hideous-looking Kang Ju-hyeok's d…ck inside me in this state,
…No.
Really, really….
“Lower them only to your knees, fold them over your skirt, and spread your legs.”
“….”
I know I absolutely can't do this, but my body can't refuse his command.
Better to keep it ordinary,
like a slightly naughty couple.
Even if I get filmed having sex, I decide on my own that being alone with him in this room is better.
My body remembers what humiliating things he might do to me if I refuse.
He'll drag me outside like this and put the collar on me again.
He'll walk me around the streets without putting my panties or bra back on.
…He might even make me take off my clothes.
It's obvious he'll take me to the men's restroom and do something filthy and disgusting.
The things that make me dizzy just imagining them won't leave my head.
I can't shake them off.
Unless he
takes my thoughts away.
“…You look pretty after getting rid of the hair. Much prettier.”
When I show him my smooth, hairless vulva, bare for the first time since middle school, embarrassment finally washes over me.
…What do you mean, it's fine because I've had sex before?
I've never even had a boyfriend.
How could it be fine!
“Don't look….”
“Why? It's fucking pretty. …There's something I need to do.”
“Ah, wait…!”
He'd been grinning cheerfully when he pulled something out of his pocket, spread it generously over his hand, and crawled between my legs.
Then, without even explaining,
he spreads something cold and sticky over my vulva.
The cold substance on the stinging spot feels soothing.
…And anxiety rushes in with it.
This…,
that's what it is.
That… the gel stuff.
“Stay still. It'll hurt if I don't do this.”
“Wait, wait! You said you wouldn't touch me….”
“I'm not touching you. I'm applying it.”
I'm not completely ignorant about se...x.
I've heard enough from my friends to know the basics.
I don't know how to do it or what positions to use,
but condoms and dil…dos,
and things like lube, I know about.
…This is the gel that makes things slippery so they're easier to insert.
Having that obscene liquid spread over my vulva
feels similar to when he spread his bodily fluids inside my vagina last time,
which keeps making my body twitch.
Even though he hasn't touched a single sensitive spot.
…It's as if,
before devouring me,
he's pouring sauce over me.
My heart thumps heavily.
“It's surprisingly hard to apply this by yourself. Women can't see down there very well, after all.”
“I-it's fine, so stop…!”
“I still need to do the back too. Want to do it yourself?”
“The back…?”
“…You must have removed the hair back there too, didn't you? It looks clean.”
While he was spreading the gel-like substance over my groin, he now started tapping my perineum.
Then, with his other hand, he lifted my buttocks and tapped my private area with his sticky fingers.
…H-here?
No, this place really…
Even if I did wash it thoroughly…!
“Hey, Kang, Kang Ju-hyeok! What are you doing…! I said you could take pictures of me, didn't I? I said you couldn't touch me…!”
“You never said I couldn't touch your anus. Am I wrong?”
“Y-you touched me elsewhere too…!”
Startled by the creepy sensation, I waved my hands frantically, but he ignored my wishes while casually tossing vulgar words around.
…I thought he'd just have sex with me and let it go if I obeyed him.
Not at all.
He never intended to let me off that easily.
“Then apply it here yourself. I'll watch.”
“…What?”
“I guess it is a little embarrassing to have someone else apply lube, right? I'll only watch, so you do it. Here.”
Kang Ju-hyeok had always been this kind of man.
He wasn't merely after my body.
He enjoyed watching me break down and feel ashamed,
and tremble as I fell apart.
I wanted to ask why, but the reason was too obvious.
…Even if it wasn't because of me, he was fired because of my father.
He's taking his anger out on me.
You fucking piece of trash….
“You need to apply this thoroughly so it won't hurt as much, so be meticulous.”
“….”
I can't let that piece of trash touch my dirty parts, so I swallow my humiliation and take what he tosses me.
A white tube you squeeze to use.
Something is written on it in English.
A LOEVE RA….
For a moment, I read it as love and wanted to give up on everything, but
“Why are you reading it so intently? They gave it to us at the shop earlier. They told you to apply it until it calms down.”
“…Huh?”
…Looking more closely, it said aloe.
I'd forgotten because of my younger sibling and that crazy bitch,
but the clerk's words, which I'd let go in one ear and out the other, finally came back to me.
I was so embarrassed and flustered then….
“It's not anything weird, so apply it. …Who's going to fuck you? I can't fuck you right after waxing either. We can't let you get inflamed. Our Hae-eun needs to wear swimsuits from now on too, you know.”
“….”
“If you're embarrassed, I'll give you a pillow so you can at least cover your eyes. Apply it carefully. You know better than anyone where it needs to go, right?”
“Shit……. Haa. …Give me the pillow.”
“Here.”
The curse rose to my throat, but I swallowed it and applied the aloe to my hand.
Starting with the slightly dried-out skin of my vulva,
…I carefully spread it over the sore spots, all the way to my anus.
Showing him that humiliating sight made me feel as though my head might spin, but
“…Haa, I've applied it everywhere, so stop now….”
“Stop what? What have you even done?”
“Hey…, you….”
…When I saw him, as though it were perfectly natural,
holding his phone right up to my vulva,
my head spun so violently
that it went completely white.
The photos he was talking about.
That this was what they meant. It wasn't as though I didn't know.”