Is She Going to Pin a Barbarian Title on Me, and Now a Sex Fiend Title Too?

Chapter 12

Iris's private study was, as expected... not.

Hmm.

This is worse than I expected.

The windows were covered by thick velvet curtains, letting in not a sliver of light.

The old books lining the walls reeked of stale dust and old paper.

And then there was the woman seated across from the sofa.

Pale skin, almost white, and jet-black hair.

Blood-red eyes.

Pretty as she was, the way she matched this room made her look kind of sexy—and kind of scary.

"I won't eat you, so don't worry and drink up. It's not poisoned."

She nodded toward the teacup on the table with her chin.

A dark red liquid was sloshing inside.

The color was awfully suspicious.

"No, it's not the poison I'm worried about... it's something else."

"Something else?"

"Like, for example, drinking it and somehow ending up with a slave contract."

My brain's big data started blaring a warning.

I know two seniors who went to grad school.

Their images flashed through my mind like a life reel: cigarette smoke, blank stares into the distance.

'Don't do this kind of thing.'

I know from experience just how hopeless that line sounds when it's spoken seriously, not as a joke.

Professors are masters of some soul- and vitality-draining technique that sucks the life out of students.

But the woman in front of me was on a whole different level, starting with her looks.

Clink.

Iris lifted the teacup and brought it to her lips.

Watching the red liquid slide down her pale throat was strangely sensual, and also deeply creepy.

Why was it creepy? She was only pretty.

'...Wait.'

A thought suddenly flashed through my head.

'Isn't that basically a vampire?'

This is a romance-fantasy world, so it could really exist.

It wasn't in the original?

The author could've just set it up and then stopped serializing. There's a saint and a dragon already—who's to say there can't be a vampire too?

Besides, the atmosphere of this study and those curtains blocking out the sunlight.

It's a dead giveaway. That's definitely that true-ancestor thing or whatever.

You know, the real-deal vampire with thralls and all.

As I trembled and stared only at the teacup, Iris tilted her head.

"Don't worry. I have absolutely no intention of bothering you with slavery or anything like that."

How was I supposed to believe that?

She came to my house and kidnapped me!

"I just think you and I are a match made in heaven, so I'm taking a shine to you."

"Pff!"

Cough! Hack!

I coughed violently, like an animal with its airway blocked.

Dammit. Suddenly the emergency warning lights in my head started spinning like crazy.

It was even worse because I'd been entertaining those cringey middle-school-syndrome delusions about vampires and thralls just then.

"Oh my. Are you all right?"

Iris sprang to her feet.

Looking concerned, she came over to me, moved behind me, and bent at the waist.

Pat, pat!

"You should've drunk it slowly. It's not like anyone was going to steal it."

Her hand on my back was surprisingly gentle, but my nerves were focused entirely somewhere else.

The sudden rush of rose fragrance.

Her upper body leaning over my shoulder.

Wow.

'Fuck?'

Through the deep neckline of her red dress, an absurd amount of cleavage was laid bare.

Why is it so big?

'A shut-in research bug, right? Why does her body look influencer-level?'

Isn't this a romance-fantasy setting error? Where in a romance fantasy do you find a character with boobs this huge?

I was getting dizzy from the sheer presence wobbling right in front of my eyes.

I couldn't tell whether I was choking from the cough or from that.

I jerked my head up and shouted,

"P-Professor."

As calmly as possible.

With as little embarrassment as possible.

"Yes?"

"Uh, the breasts right in front of me are so overwhelming I'm about to choke again. Could you step back a little, please?"

"..."

Silence.

The air in the room froze in an instant.

Iris's hand, which had been patting my back, stopped dead in midair.

I was tense as hell, waiting for her next words.

"Pfft."

What came from above my head wasn't a scream or a curse, but a breathy laugh.

Thankfully, she didn't seem offended at all.

Instead, her red eyes curved into crescents, like my reaction was too funny to live.

"Sorry. I didn't realize you'd be so flustered."

She rose gracefully.

"My student was just too cute, and I lost track of my distance."

Cute?

This situation?

With languid movements, she sat back down on the opposite sofa.

Cross-legged, chin propped on her hand, she looked like some department-store or hotel CEO.

"Are you calmer now?"

"...Ah, yes. Thanks to you."

I cleared my throat awkwardly and looked away.

Calm? Right. My heart was pounding so hard it felt ready to burst.

'So this is an older woman's composure?'

Usually in a situation like this, wouldn't you go 'Oh!' and cover yourself, or flee in embarrassment?

But then, as my gaze happened to brush her side profile.

'...Huh?'

Her ear, just a little visible through her jet-black hair.

That ear rim was bright red, like a ruby expertly set by a jeweler.

"..."

Huh?

So that woman was hiding how embarrassed she was too?

On the outside she was acting calm and composed, but inside she was probably already gearing up for a full-on cringe attack.

Come to think of it, she was a woman too, so of course she'd be embarrassed.

The tension suddenly melted away.

The professor who'd seemed like a perfect, complete being was starting to look a little more human.

To break the awkward silence—and cover up my own embarrassment—I hurriedly tried to change the subject.

"Uh, are you going to a ball today or something? That dress is really..."

"No."

It was a clean cut.

She cut me off before I could even finish.

"...Pardon?"

"I hate noisy places like balls."

I almost asked why she'd dressed like that, then stopped myself.

I didn't know why, but I had a strong feeling that if I asked, the conversation would turn into total chaos.

At that moment, Iris narrowed her eyes while fiddling with the teacup.

Her red eyes gleamed dangerously.

"Am I that uncomfortable to be around?"

"..."

Did it not look that way?

"If you'd like, I can cast you out right now."

Gasp.

For an instant, the answer 'Yes!' surged all the way up to my throat.

Cast out.

The freedom I'd wanted so badly. A return to the potato fields.

But my instinctive survival sense sounded the siren again.

[Warning! Warning! It's a trap!]

[Agreeing here opens the thorny road!]

[No way a woman with obvious stalker tendencies who tracked you all the way to your house would let you go that easily!]

Whew. I almost got baited.

I need to answer carefully.

Something that doesn't sound like a lie, but not too much.

In the end, I sold out my pride again.

"It's just that my brain short-circuited for a moment because of that awkward situation where I had nowhere to look."

Sorry, my pride.

Better than dying.

Iris set down the teacup and let out a snort.

"I see. I'll believe that."

She casually crossed her legs the other way.

And then I saw it again.

Her ears were blazing even redder than before.

'...Let's not act so calm, Professor.'

Your ear looks like it's about to explode.

This professor might be easier to handle than I thought.

Of course, assuming she's not a vampire.

"Still, I thought I'd give you a reward for how sudden all of this must be for you."

A reward?

"Cassian, the public eye is probably a burden to you right now, yes? I'll give you a private study."

"...?"

I doubted my own ears for a second.

What did you say?

A private study?

My eyes shot wide open, and I immediately decoded what that meant.

[Private Study Acquired]

= [A spot where I can come early, dodge Dad's eyes, and sleep like a baby]

= [Can avoid the saintess]

= [Can avoid the crown prince]

= [Can avoid the second male lead and villainess]

This was a golden opportunity to retire from fugitive life and live comfortably.

And more than anything.

'I can be free from my father's surveillance, can't I?'

My plan—showing up at school in the morning to slack off, then once Dad's surveillance loosened, slacking off for real—was, strictly speaking, cobbled together on the fly.

If I got caught, I was fucked; even if I didn't, I'd still have some vague unease in the back of my mind.

Of course, sleeping in late while trembling with anxiety was a hundred times better than attending morning classes.

'But at this rate, I could just come out in the morning and sleep soundly in the study, couldn't I?'

Sleep if I wanted, fool around if I wanted, then pop out only for class, get it over with, and go home.

Just thinking about it made me ridiculously happy.

But they say you should tap the stone bridge before crossing it.

Because there's no such thing as a free lunch in this world.

I kept my suspicious gaze on her and asked,

"Then what duties would I have to do? Assistant work? Cleaning? Or maybe gathering research materials?"

"None."

"...Pardon?"

Did I hear wrong?

"None? Really?"

"Yes."

Just as my passive skill, Human Distrust (SSS), was about to activate.

Iris drove the point home.

"For the record, there really isn't. I didn't bring you in as a student to make you work. Just helping me out when I occasionally want to have an academic discussion is all I need."

The kind where "discussion" really means playing with formulas?

So basically, she just wanted someone to shoot the breeze with.

Then Iris immediately added another clarification.

"Also, for the record, I can't promise exactly how often that 'once in a while' will be, but I can promise it won't be anything outrageous."

...I guess I must've been looking at her with a face full of human mistrust.

The heart I'd just calmed down started pounding again.

She won't make me work, she'll give me space, and occasionally ask me to talk with her?

What is this.

That's the legendary rich, capable pretty older woman—the famous 'pretty older woman who buys you meals'!

Wow, actually experiencing it, that shit has a violently appealing charm.

Of course, assuming all this was true.

"Thank you."

I've already committed to being her student, so I might as well take the good stuff when it's offered.

Iris nodded as if satisfied.

And then, just as I was about to continue the conversation,

"So, about the schedule going forward..."

"..."

I couldn't keep talking and shut my mouth.

Iris's condition was extremely peculiar.

The face hidden by her makeup was utterly serene.

Her gaze was still calm and intelligent.

But.

From her neck to her ears, she'd turned bright red.

So red the boundary was impossible to miss.

'...No, fuck.'

What the hell is that.

If she was that embarrassed, she should've just said we could talk later.

She's dying of embarrassment over that chest incident from earlier, and now she's gritting her teeth and pretending to be fine?

'At this point, isn't she just fully committed to the bit?'

If she kept talking like that and later looked in a mirror,

'I acted calm in front of him looking like this?'

the blame would all land on me.

I didn't want to get assassinated later for no reason, so I hurriedly tried to slip away.

"First of all, thank you very much for the special treatment. However, today, because of that embarrassing event, I don't think my embarrassment has settled down yet..."

I started to gesture toward my own neck, then stopped.

If I made it too direct, that'd be the same as embarrassing her.

"Let's talk again later. I need a little time to brace myself too."

I wrapped it up as politely as possible.

But Iris widened her eyes, then soon smiled in a strange way.

"Oh my, were you that embarrassed?"

Who, me?

"All right then. I'll see you out."

She stood up.

"If people see you leaving with me, it'll help your reputation too."

I screamed inwardly.

'Help my ass! If I stand beside her with that blazing-red neck, what are people supposed to think?'

We'd come out of the professor's office alone, with the professor red up to her neck and the student looking like he'd fled?

Is this person going to pin a barbarian title on me, and now a sex fiend title too?

"Absolutely not."

I firmly reached out to stop her.

"Huh?"

"No. I don't need an escort. I can go by myself."

"But..."

"And after I leave, you absolutely must not come out of this room for thirty minutes!"

"Why?"

Iris looked at me with a face that said she had no idea what was going on.

I really couldn't say, 'Please look in a mirror. You're red as a beet right now.'

"No. Just promise me. Thirty minutes. Okay? This is your student's first favor."

Maybe because she was overwhelmed by my forcefulness, Iris nodded in a daze.

"All right."

"You promised. Then I'm off."

I shoved open the professor's office door and left without looking back.

Bang!

The moment the door shut, a heavy sigh spilled out from deep in my core.

"Hoo..."

It really feels like my lifespan's getting shorter.

"Sigh..."

Lucky perv?

In reality, it's just the social-exile button.

Fuck, this is insanely stressful.

The moment I came out into the hallway, the gazes of the students wandering nearby all shot straight at me.

"Look, he's finally out."

"Seriously, is he really her student?"

Just imagining that all these people had seen a shot of me with Professor Iris, who was beet-red, was horrifying.

I hung my head and quickened my pace.

As I walked down the hallway, my stomach feeling tight,

from behind me, far off in the direction of the professor's office, an enormous noise rang out.

Crash—!!!

Clang—!!

The sound of a chair falling over and a teacup shattering.

Gasp—!

And then the final gasp of someone who couldn't even manage a scream.

"...?"

"What? What was that?"

The students in the hallway looked toward the professor's office, where the sound had come from, then looked back at me.

Their eyes carried a clear message.

'What on earth did you do in there?'

Without looking back, I shook my head vigorously.

She'd seen her reflection.

Ah, fuck it. I don't know.

Still, it can't be helped.

If walking down the hall side by side with someone in that state would make me rumored to be 'the bastard who got the professor all steamed up,' it'd be a hundred times better to leave it as an embarrassing little secret between just the two of us.

Of course, it'd be nice if, next time we met, she didn't try to kill me.

"Life... really is a spectacle."

It was only a little while ago that I was digging potatoes.

As much as I miss it like hell, it now feels like such a distant past that it makes me sad.