Chapter 130
Chapter 130
Ssshh―.
When the night wind brushed past, the leaves infused with starlight made a cool sound.
Deep within the Rosenberg ducal manor, the hidden sanctuary known as the Star-Tree Forest.
Elysia stood in the middle of the forest with only a light shawl over her shoulders, staring blankly into the air.
It was a fantastical sight, the Milky Way of the night sky and the light of the star trees blending together into a breathtaking panorama, but her violet eyes could not fully take in its beauty.
Her gaze was fixed on empty space, yet her head was filled with only one person's impassive face.
'If you say that, it would be terribly rude to the young lady who took precious time to keep her promise and meet me, my lady.'
Cassian's voice, which had maintained its uprightness even while being wary of her in the greenhouse garden, lingered in her ears.
That resolute decisiveness with which he cut down her flimsy attempt at probing him.
That stubborn steadiness, refusing to defend himself by dragging down the other person's honor even if the outing had been forced on him.
Swish.
Elysia lifted both arms and wrapped herself around her own shoulders.
"Haa...."
A very long, pitiful breath slipped between her red lips.
She was happy.
The fact that the man she had fallen for was that wonderful all the way down made her chest swell with delight.
But at the same time.
'...I'm upset.'
A deep helplessness and bitterness she could not control were staining one corner of her heart black.
Because the fact that she was just an outsider who could claim no rights over him had, once again, struck her painfully hard.
"Young lady."
Then, a gentle voice came from behind her.
When Elysia slowly turned her head, Emma, the maid who had brought warm tea on a silver tray, was approaching with worried eyes.
Clink.
Emma set the teacup down on the white tea table prepared at one side of the forest.
"The wind is very cold. You'll catch a chill, young lady."
"Thank you, Emma."
Elysia took the warm teacup Emma offered and wrapped both hands around it.
The warmth in the cup melted the chilled tips of her fingers, but it could not fill the icy hole in her chest.
Emma carefully tightened the shawl around Elysia's shoulders and quietly studied her face.
The woman known as Rosenberg's flower looked as though all her thorns had been snapped away, leaving her infinitely fragile.
Emma knew all too well what that expression meant on a woman her age.
"Has something happened to trouble your heart?"
Emma stepped back a pace and asked in her usual warm voice, ready to embrace her completely.
"If you don't mind telling even this old maid, please lighten the burden on your heart a little. Hearing the young lady's worries is my greatest joy."
At that tender comfort.
"......Emma."
Elysia's violet eyes flickered faintly.
Looking down at the teacup, she very carefully began to break down the dam of emotions she had been forcing down.
"I really... am upset."
Elysia said in a wet voice.
"I saw him in this afternoon's class. Everyone at school was buzzing about how he had met privately with a count's daughter over the weekend."
"......I see."
"I wanted to ask him right then and there. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you spend time alone with another woman? My insides are burning like this, so why are you so calm?"
Elysia shook her head with a bitter smile.
"But I couldn't say anything."
"Young lady."
"Because I know. I don't have... the right to."
Right.
The word seemed to be forced out, crushing Elysia's lips as it left them.
"I am still, publicly, the Crown Prince's fiancée. A treasured daughter of House Rosenberg and a heavy burden carrying the empire's future, with the process of breaking off the engagement not yet fully complete."
She quietly looked down at her fingertips.
Her delicate hands, which had never once done a hard day's work, and the expensive bracelet hanging from them, felt like handcuffs binding her at this very moment.
"He and I are just Academy schoolmates. A friend who listens when I'm troubled from time to time. That's all."
Elysia lifted her head and looked at Emma.
"What right do I have to be jealous of other women approaching him? What qualification do I have to complain about his private meetings? He was never bound to me, and I have no bond to bind him with either."
"......"
Elysia's confession, which carved at herself with rational standards, made the listener's heart ache.
It was the cage of unrequited love, made all the more miserable because she knew it.
But Elysia's true hurt came not merely from jealousy.
"But Emma. There's something else that's making me truly miserable."
"May I ask what it is?"
"Even while I'm so jealous my insides are boiling...."
A faint blush spread across Elysia's cheeks.
A face that was strangely and terribly complicated, sorrow and affection mixed together.
"The way he kept his manners toward the woman he met, the way he didn't put others down with flimsy excuses, the upright and steadfast way he carried himself... to my eyes, it looked maddeningly cool."
In the end, Elysia couldn't hold back anymore and covered her face with both hands.
"It's silly, isn't it. I should be angry that he showed kindness to another young lady besides me, but at the same time, the way he puts proper human conduct ahead of aristocratic hypocrisy... my anger melted away so quickly."
Her shoulders trembled slightly.
"Even in the very instant he drew a line with me, he looked so perfect. So I feel too pathetic and upset to even indulge my jealousy."
The reason she couldn't feel anger toward the man who drew a line between them.
Because he was speaking the correct principles, and the way he upheld them was the very image of a real grown-up she'd longed for her whole life.
Ssshh.
The leaves of the Star-Tree Forest swayed softly, as though comforting Elysia's deep confession.
Emma stepped closer and gently laid her wrinkled hand warm over the back of Elysia's hands covering her face.
"Young lady."
Emma's voice was gentler and warmer than the night wind.
"Why do you belittle yourself as though you're so pitiful?"
Elysia slowly lowered her hands and looked up at Emma.
"In my eyes, the young lady right now is shining more brilliantly than anyone else."
"Me? Even when I'm floundering like this, blinded by jealousy?"
"Jealousy is the natural shadow of love. But you weren't swallowed by that shadow, were you, young lady?"
Emma gently stroked Elysia's cold cheek.
"If you were your past self, what would you have done? Surely you would have put your feelings first, lashed out at that young lord for not looking only at you, and blamed him instead."
"Emma...."
"But now, young lady, you are different."
Deep pride and affection welled up in Emma's eyes.
"You held back your greed and first considered the beliefs he wants to uphold and the human decency he wishes to keep. You put yourself in that young man's shoes, understood why he had to act that way, and are even praising his uprightness, aren't you?"
Emma's words were carefully loosening one knot after another tangled deep inside Elysia's heart.
"How about trusting that person?"
"Cassian?"
"Yes. If that young lord you were so drawn to has such a steadfast character, he will never take this deep consideration and affection of yours lightly."
Emma added with a smile.
"If I may say so boldly, this love of yours, one that respects the other person's convictions and knows its own limits, will surely become the most meaningful time in your life."
"......"
"This love is shaping our young lady not into a hollow noble lady, but into a truly beautiful and mature person on the inside."
Elysia could feel from Emma's eyes that this was not merely vague comfort tossed out on the assumption that things would work out.
It was full affirmation and encouragement for Elysia as a single human being, someone hurting yet still growing.
That warm sincerity melted away the anxiety frozen cold inside Elysia's heart.
"......Emma."
Transparent tears gathered at the corners of Elysia's eyes.
And then, with her eyes curving into a faint smile, she clasped the maid's wrinkled hand in return.
"I'm calm now thanks to you. Thank you, truly."
"Helping the young lady is my joy."
She turned her head and looked beyond the endless darkness at the far end of the Star-Tree Forest.
Memories from the past skimmed past in her mind like a panorama.
Crown Prince Louis.
The man she had chased after with her whole life, yet who had never once properly faced her.
Elysia had always resented Louis.
She had only thought him cruel for always ignoring her and looking elsewhere.
But now, after receiving Emma's comfort and looking back on her feelings toward Cassian.
'...Maybe.'
A self-mocking but relieved smile spread across Elysia's lips.
'His Highness may not have been harsh to me alone.'
Back then, she hadn't truly been in love.
She had only tried to forcibly fit him into the narrative of the imperial Crown Princess she had already decided on in her head.
How he thought of her, what wounds he carried—none of it mattered.
She just demanded that he show the ideal fiancé Elysia von Rosenberg wanted, and when he didn't, she acted like a tragic woman abandoned by love, flailing in an endless swamp of self-pity.
'I was a terribly selfish, immature child.'
Elysia faced her past self, who had only clamored to have her emptiness filled without understanding the other person's position.
And the reason her stubbornness was crumbling was because she had met Cassian.
He had not been swayed by her status or appearance, and had treated her as a complete human being.
With blunt truth, he shattered her hypocrisy and filled her empty heart with the warmth of a single worn cloak.
The courtesy that man wanted to keep.
The path that man wanted to walk.
All of it kept drawing her in and making her look back on herself.
"Emma."
Elysia turned her head toward Emma once more.
The confusion lingering in her violet eyes disappeared, and only a firmly rooted resolve shone brilliantly there.
"I love that person more deeply than anyone else in my entire life. It sounds silly to say this even though it's not even a real relationship. Still."
The wind blew, scattering her silver hair in every direction.
The obsession that she had to become the Crown Prince's fiancée.
Vanity born from being mindful of other people's gazes.
All of it was mixed into the wind and blown away.
"So... for that person."
A noble smile bloomed on Elysia's lips.
"I want to give him true love."
Not the poisonous love from the past, the kind that clung and bound.
A love that respects the convictions he wants to keep, and becomes a sturdy place of rest he can lean on comfortably.
A love that, before asking for what I want, becomes the rest he truly wants.
Elysia clasped both hands over her chest and whispered, as if vowing to herself.
"Even if he doesn't look back at me, I'll become the perfect woman suited to him first. I'll become the most perfect and gentle haven, so that he can't push me away."
Emma's eyes reddened with emotion as she looked at the lovable face of the young lady.
Wiping the corners of her eyes with her sleeve, she bowed warmly to the young lady before her.
"Then..."
Sincere blessing flowed through Emma's voice.
"Then that's enough, young lady. That's enough already."
Ssshh─.
The shimmering leaves of the Star-Tree Forest poured out even brighter light, as though blessing her future.