Bring Back All My Memories from My Previous Life

Chapter 138

After Seria left.

'Maternal love.'

Iris’s red lips moved as she quietly mouthed and swallowed those three words.

The more she savored them, the warmer the answer made one corner of her heart feel.

The helplessness and anxiety she had felt upon seeing her disciple struggle alone beneath a heavy burden.

The only key that could quell this entire whirlpool of emotions in an instant.

"Yes. Maternal love is the ultimate virtue a true teacher must possess."

Nod, nod.

Deeply moved by her revelation, Iris nodded emphatically.

But a massive obstacle soon rose up before her.

'But how exactly is maternal love supposed to be practiced?'

Iris suddenly blinked.

She had spent her entire life wrestling with magic formulas.

Naturally, she had never experienced the pain of giving birth to a child, nor had she ever devoted herself to raising and caring for someone.

How was she supposed to look at and embrace a fully grown, broad-shouldered, strapping twenty-year-old man?

"If I have no experience, then seeking wisdom from a pioneer is the proper attitude for a scholar."

Iris’s eyes sparkled with intelligence.

There was only one person in the world who could teach her the heart of a parent most perfectly.

Her one and only teacher, who had guided her along the path of magic and raised her into the Iris von Evergarden she was today in place of her parents.

Scratch, scratch.

Iris opened a desk drawer and took out stationery and a fountain pen.

Then, without the slightest hesitation, she began writing in her smooth handwriting.

[To my esteemed Master.]

After writing the first sentence, Iris continued steadily.

[I hope you are in good health despite the changing weather. Thanks to your teachings, I, too, am safely cultivating the next generation at the Academy.]

However, immediately after writing the greeting.

When it was time to get to the point, the tip of her pen hovered in the air for a moment.

'How should I ask so that Master will give me the exact answer I need?'

[I am writing to ask you for one important piece of guidance. Recently, I came to have a very special disciple whom I must embrace and guide.]

[He is highly talented, but he seems to be carrying some great worry, and my heart aches terribly as I watch over him. After putting our heads together with a friend, I came to the conclusion that this tender affection I feel for him must surely stem from maternal love.]

Iris lifted the tip of her pen slightly.

Then she inhaled again and leaned over the stationery.

[Master. What exactly is a parent’s heart? I want to become a warm nest for that child. I earnestly ask that you share your wisdom on how I can approach my fully grown disciple, who has only just turned twenty, and perfectly practice maternal love.]

* * *

Before she knew it, evening had arrived.

To be honest, considering the emotional exhaustion and physical fatigue I had suffered today, I desperately wanted to head straight back to the Farne estate, collapse onto my bed, and sleep like the dead.

But unfortunately, I wasn’t able to go home.

"Sir Cassian. Can’t I stay just a little longer?"

Lily was planted on the sofa in my private laboratory like a human anchor, lightly gripping the end of my sleeve.

And she was even giving me a pitiful look.

What was this, seriously?

What was with that puppy-like expression, as if she feared her owner might abandon her somewhere on the street?

Normally, I would have said, Sure, stay and play, and peeled her a tangerine or something.

But not today. I had an unavoidable group-project schedule.

"No. It’s already past dinnertime."

I shook my head decisively and removed Lily’s hand.

"It’s almost time to lock up the laboratory, and when you’re still growing, you need to sleep early if you want to grow taller and build strong bones. Hurry home and get plenty of rest."

"……But I’m all grown up."

"Not in my eyes. You’re still not fully grown. Hurry along. It’s dangerous to be out late."

When I urged her on while putting on my outer coat, Lily stood up, though she still pouted.

Pink Pup never threw a tantrum, no matter how disappointed she was, whenever I firmly told her no.

"Then…… I can come visit you again tomorrow, right?"

"Of course. Come around lunchtime. We can eat together."

"Yes! Get home safely, Sir Cassian!"

Only after seeing Lily out of the laboratory with a bright smile on her face did I finally let out a long sigh.

Creeeak, click.

"Haa……"

I twisted my stiff neck from side to side as I left the laboratory.

My destination was the Liberal Arts Department building’s Greenhouse Garden No. 2.

I was going to plant the Moonlight Flower seeds that Elysia and I had chosen for our group project that afternoon.

'Moonlight Flowers are plants born while holding the energy of moonlight. The moment you plant the seed and give it its first watering, germination can begin only if you are beneath the clear light of the night sky’s moon.'

What a ridiculously gimmicky herb.

Actually, this was pretty exciting.

Heh heh.

* * *

I soon arrived at Greenhouse Garden No. 2.

The space, which had been bustling with countless students during the day, had settled into silence at night beneath the gentle glow of the magic stones.

Beyond the glass ceiling, a large full moon poured down a cold, crystal-clear light.

Creeeak.

I opened the greenhouse’s arched glass door and stepped inside.

I had arrived a full ten minutes before the appointed time.

Partly because of the tiresome etiquette drilled into me in my previous life—that one should never keep a woman waiting—and partly because it felt wrong to leave a duke’s daughter like Elysia standing alone late at night.

But then.

Scuff, scuff.

As I approached the table assigned to Group Four, I abruptly stopped walking.

"……"

Elysia was already there.

She sat by the window, where the moonlight shone brightest.

Her silver hair glowed faintly as it fell in a long sweep over one shoulder, and she rested her chin in her hand while gazing at the moon outside.

It was such an unreal sight that I could only stand there and stare.

I would have believed it if someone told me she wasn’t human, but a spirit sculpted from moonlight.

Perhaps sensing me approaching, she slowly turned her head.

Her violet eyes curved softly toward me.

But soon, Elysia lightly touched the tip of her fan to her chin and spoke in a sulky voice.

"How dare you keep a lady waiting, Cassian."

'Huh?'

Momentarily flustered, I glanced at the clock.

No. I had come ten minutes early on purpose because I’d kept that in mind. I wasn’t late, was I?

The rebuttal, 'No, I came early,' circled around inside my mouth.

Ordinarily, I would have snapped back and corrected her, if only because it was unfair.

"……I’m sorry."

An apology slipped out of my mouth.

I was surprised even after I said it.

'What?'

Somehow, when it came to Elysia, the walls I had once put up so fiercely seemed to be gradually crumbling and weakening.

It felt as though my unconscious mind was giving in to the inexplicable consideration and kindness she kept showering on me.

At my obedient apology.

"Pfft."

Elysia let out a light laugh behind her fan.

"What? I was just teasing someone who came out ten minutes early on purpose."

"Ah."

Only then did I realize I had been teased.

Awkwardly scratching the back of my head, I let out a small laugh.

"I’ve always been a little lacking in the humor department, so I’m not very flexible when it comes to taking jokes."

"I know. That’s why you’re fun to tease."

She rose gracefully from her seat and pointed to the soil and flowerpot prepared on the table.

"Shall we plant our group’s headache now?"

Patter.

We stood across from each other at the table and began carefully filling the flowerpot with potting soil.

The process of mixing and patting down the soil.

The dark dirt staining the duke’s daughter’s delicate, pale fingertips seemed strangely out of place, yet it also gave the scene an oddly vivid sense of reality.

"Since it needs to be placed somewhere with plenty of moonlight, shall we move it a little farther this way?"

"Yes. I’ll carry it."

I lifted the flowerpot and carefully set it down by the window, where the moonlight fell directly upon it.

Elysia took out a small black Moonlight Flower seed and gently planted it in the center of the soil.

Finally, she soaked it thoroughly with a small watering can filled with moonlight-infused water.

Fwoosh-

I could feel her mana faintly rippling through the water-soaked soil.

The seed was absorbing the moonlight’s energy and beginning to germinate.

"Good work."

As I dusted the dirt from my hands, Elysia set down the watering can and smiled brightly.

"Not at all. This is nothing. The real work starts now."

That was true.

Moonlight Flowers apparently had to be tended with maddening care throughout the entire process of blooming.

Even when planting the seed, it had to be done while the moonlight was strong for germination to occur.

Afterward, whenever it was watered or infused with mana, it had to be done beneath strong moonlight, or the plant would die.

"Looks like we’ll be seeing each other at night quite often, thanks to this fussy little thing."

"I suppose so."

We washed our hands thoroughly at a faucet in one corner of the greenhouse, then sat facing each other at a nearby tea table for resting.

Quiet small talk passed back and forth beneath the gentle light of the magic-stone lamps.

We chatted about trivial details from class and pointless Academy gossip.

Elysia was still overflowing with elegance, but somehow she seemed much more comfortable and relaxed than before.

It felt as though the impatience that had made her yearn for something from me and direct sharp jealousy at me had vanished without a trace.

That calm atmosphere eased, if only slightly, the fatigue gnawing at my nerves.

We continued speaking peacefully for quite some time.

"Cassian."

Elysia rested her chin on the table and gazed intently at me before asking in a gentle voice,

"Do you perhaps have something troubling you?"

Flinch.

'Did she notice?'

I thought I had acted as usual while pretending as hard as possible that nothing was wrong.

It seemed this perceptive woman had detected, like a ghost, the horrifying suspicion that someone might be manipulating and controlling my memories.

I composed my expression as best I could and gave an awkward smile.

"What do you mean, worries? I’m probably just a little tired because I have so many assignments. It’s nothing."

At my evasive answer, Elysia’s violet eyes grew a little deeper.

She didn’t press me.

Instead of asking why I was lying or demanding to know what was wrong.

She simply looked at me with a soft gaze, as if gently embracing me in silence.

"Cassian."

"Yes."

"Please don’t forget that I am always on your side."

Somehow, whenever she said things like that, I felt something inside me sink all the way to the bottom.

There wasn’t a trace of pretense or condition in her voice.

Whatever secret I was hiding, whatever situation I was in.

She showed the mature attitude of someone who would support and believe in me unconditionally.

The sincerity of it struck me heavily in the chest.

"……"

I stared at her for a moment, rendered speechless, then answered quietly.

"Thank you. Truly."

At my thanks, Elysia merely smiled gracefully, her eyes curving beautifully.

* * *

It was quite late when I finally arrived at the Farne estate.

After returning to my room, I tossed my outer coat carelessly onto a chair and collapsed onto the bed.

I didn’t turn on the lights in the room.

In the darkness, I sat with my fingers interlaced, my head bowed as I sank into deep thought.

'Memory manipulation.'

No matter how I thought about it, this wasn’t something I could dismiss as a convenient plot device.

I could accept the fact that I had transmigrated into the world of this fucked-up novel.

But what if there were an unknown entity that carefully timed when and what information I needed, then slammed the original novel’s text straight into my head?

'Then it means I’m not transmigrated at all. It means I’m acting according to someone else’s intentions.'

The Red Moon Liberation Front and House Rohanna.

The timing of Lucius approaching me, and the timing of my happening to meet Professor Wilhelm in Introduction to Tactical Theory and hear Rohanna’s hidden history.

Everything fit together far too perfectly.

It was as if someone were guiding me so that I had no choice but to leap into the center of that incident.

"Haa……"

[Ability Activated: Fixer]

[Remaining Uses Today: 3/3]

Vrrrr───!

A familiar mechanical sound rang inside my head, but tonight it felt especially chilling.

The distinctive flow that accompanied the Fixer’s activation began violently swirling the air around me and wrapping itself around my entire body.

Every setting and ending of the original novel, <I Want to Live Quietly in This Life>, fragmented within my mind.

And even the hidden behind-the-scenes truths of this world that I had yet to recall.

A command to shatter the filter someone had artificially imposed and restore the complete truth inside my head.

"Bring back all the memories of my previous life."

Fwaaaash───!!!

At that moment.

My vision was bleached completely white, as though it had been struck by lightning.

"Ghhk……!"

An excruciating headache, so severe it felt as though my skull were splitting apart, slammed into my brain.

My vision flipped upside down, and tinnitus tore at my eardrums.