Chapter 16
The next day, in Iris's private research lab.
Creak.
The moment I opened the door, a burst of rose fragrance hit me.
On the sofa, there was noticeably less exposed skin than yesterday, especially around the chest.
Instead, Professor Iris was sitting there in a silk dress that showed off her figure even more blatantly.
'Tch. Now that it's covered, it's a little disappointing.'
The wording "instead" is kind of trashy, though.
Maybe because I couldn't see her cleavage, my eyes drifted elsewhere.
And it hit me right away that Professor Iris just had a body that was ridiculously, absurdly good.
The way she crossed her legs and tilted her teacup was so alluring it was almost decadent.
'Am I really a hopeless case?'
Under the Confucian-Taliban maxim that teacher, soldier, and father are one, this is clearly filial impiety.
To think I'd be having such impure thoughts about the body of my teacher, who was like a parent.
Of course, I actually loved that kind of depraved, high-stimulation stuff.
You know.
If parents and teachers are on the same level, then that just means Mom is way too sexy and young, right?
Japan's full of that sort of thing. I've seen plenty of it too.
So what year, month, and day was that martial-arts world's code of conduct again….
"Now that you're here, have a seat."
She tilted her chin toward the seat across from her.
I sat obediently on the sofa and eagerly drank the red tea she offered.
But the atmosphere was definitely off.
Clink.
The sound of her setting down her teacup was unusually rough.
Sneaking a glance, I saw that Iris's expression was vaguely sullen.
Her red lips were jutting out by a mile; anyone could tell she was advertising, "I'm in a bad mood right now."
What the hell is wrong with her all of a sudden?
Yesterday she was embarrassed enough to lock me up for thirty minutes, so what wind was blowing today?
"Did I already screw up again in just one day?"
"Why? Do you have something to feel guilty about?"
She narrowed her eyes and snapped at me.
I thought about it carefully.
"Nope. I just listened to class, went home, ate, lazed around, and went to sleep."
Maybe because I got some farming done after so long, I slept like a log.
Really.
My answer must have been unexpected, because Iris's lips trembled.
There, there. She's trying to hold back laughter.
"Why is it so funny that I just went home, ate a home-cooked meal, stretched out, and went to sleep?"
The more I said it, the harder it seemed for her to hold back her laughter.
Sigh.
"Please feel free to laugh all you want. I'm already starting to get used to people laughing at me. Like, am I the academy's official clown or something."
"Ahahaha!"
The laughter burst out before she could hold it in. It was light and carefree, utterly unlike a professor.
After laughing her fill, her expression seemed to soften quite a bit.
The laugh-stifling challenge was over, so I lightly tried again.
"If you're feeling better, tell me. What is it that's making you so unhappy?"
"You said there was nothing to feel guilty about."
"There isn't. I'm just asking because your face is basically screaming 'I'm not happy with something right now.'"
I almost said, "You look pouty," but decided not to be that honest. That's social life for you.
"There's no way my face would say that."
What was I supposed to do if she got flustered while saying that?
...Hmm.
...Actually, I know. I know what I should do.
"It's not plastered all over your face, so don't worry. You do seem to care about keeping the other person comfortable by reining in your emotions, but I'm just ridiculously good at catching changes in people's expressions."
I had to say something that propped up your pride and made it clear you weren't just being sloppy. That way you'd loosen up little by little.
I know this because I lived in my previous life sandwiched between an older sister above and a younger sister below.
'Hey, how can you not think even a tiny bit about what kind of mood or condition someone might be in?'
'Leave that person alone. They're always like that.'
Get thoroughly chewed out.
Once your ears have bled and pus has come out a few times, you get insanely good at checking the other person's mood first, like some damn eunuch.
Anyway, I'd already soothed her and even rolled out the mat so she could talk comfortably.
So, you should talk now, right?
Iris fiddled with her teacup, dragging out the silence.
Then she tossed it out casually.
"You've been scattering your charms all over the place."
"Pardon?"
"There's a rumor going around that Viscountess Müller has been showering you with praise. They say you showed genius in class."
Ah.
That was it?
I let out a dumbfounded laugh.
'Ah, that old lady is praising me?'
Isn't that the same woman who's going to see Lily in another class soon, get all impressed, and start praising Lily nonstop?
Anyway, I can roughly see what's going on.
This woman was panicking that someone might snatch away the slave she'd already staked her claim on.
"So this is jealousy, then?"
"I don't quite like the wording, but I can't deny it."
I suppressed the corners of my mouth from rising and replied with a smirk.
"If you don't want me being snatched away by another professor that badly, then hurry up and give me the promised research lab."
"……"
Professor Iris looked like she'd been left speechless by my punkish behavior.
But when I shamelessly kept staring at her face without changing expression, she soon let out a sigh and said,
"I'll get the lab ready as early as possible. Preferably by tomorrow. So until then, behave yourself. And don't go catching the attention of the other professors again."
Okay.
"Once I have a hideout, why would I be wandering around outside? I'll just hole up there and breathe. Oh, and while we're at it, please make my lab someplace no one comes to."
"……You're a very bad student. Trying to take advantage of your teacher's hurt feelings."
What nonsense.
If I'm getting something, I'm getting it.
In one morning I was about to go from noble to lowly slave trash; I should at least make sure I secure some benefits.
Even so, unlike the content of my answer, her expression seemed to show she rather liked my proposal.
That made sense, because what I said was basically a declaration that I had little interest in Viscountess Müller.
Honestly, growing medicinal herbs was tempting too, but a private research lab was just too powerful an advantage.
And no matter what kind of crap I pulled, as long as I had the title of "Iris's disciple," I could rest easy knowing any weirdness of mine would get brushed off as genius eccentricity—about as reassuring as first-gen health insurance.
On the other hand, if I took the Viscountess Müller route?
Hmm. Like teacher, like student, I'd be branded for life with the image of a farmer rolling around in dirt fields.
More than anything, that route has a 200% chance of getting tangled up with Saint Lily, which makes it dangerous.
"What are you thinking so hard about?"
When I drifted off for a moment, Iris narrowed her eyes again.
She's getting sulky again.
At times like this, the standard move is to dive in so fast she can't keep up.
I propped my chin on my hand and smirked.
"I was thinking about the day you confessed to me, Professor."
"W-Whaaat?"
Iris's eyes went wide enough to pop out. The hand holding her teacup froze in midair.
"A-a confession? What do you mean by that...?"
"Didn't you go to my father in the middle of the night and make a very forceful proposal, saying, 'Please give me your son'?"
"……!"
Iris flinched.
Her face instantly turned as red as a beet.
"P-please don't say things that could be misunderstood... That was in an academic sense...!"
"No, well. I didn't exactly lie or exaggerate, did I? It was factual."
"…Come to think of it, there was no exaggeration."
Unable to find a rebuttal, she moved her lips helplessly.
"So that's why you're even more embarrassed?"
"…Khm!"
Iris coughed awkwardly and hurriedly drank her tea.
Trembling pupils, a reddening nape.
I could see the embarrassment creeping up again.
She was so cute I wanted to tease the hell out of her.
Maybe I should fan her a little.
Not figuratively. I mean with an actual fan.
I spread my palm and gently fanned her face while needling her.
"No, no, absolutely not. What are we going to do if you get this embarrassed every day? If you keep blushing like this whenever we meet, how are you going to show your face later?"
"……."
"What kind of nerve did you have, going to my father in the middle of the night to propose like that? Where did all that swagger go, and why'd you turn into such a meek little lamb?"
At my dead-on jab, Iris's red eyes lost their target and fled to the ceiling.
She pressed her lips shut, then wordlessly picked up the staff leaning by the sofa and gave it a small wave.
Whoosh—
In an instant, the air in the room turned sharply cold.
A chill wind circled around her face as if she'd cranked the air conditioner to max cooling.
Cooling the heat in her face with magic.
Wasn't that the ultimate waste of talent?
For the record, this room does have an air conditioner installed.
"……Don't tease me."
Iris muttered from within the cold wind.
But even magic didn't seem able to do anything about her reddened earlobes.
Ha.
Cute.
How is this even an older professor?
Of course, in terms of physical lifespan, I'm older.
To think that the world's greatest genius professor would be at a loss because of one word from me.
'That was fun.'
If I teased her any more, she might turn me into an ice statue with that staff, so maybe I'd better stop here.
"Anyway, the lab will be ready by tomorrow or so, right?"
"Yes. I'll prepare it exactly the way you want, in a place with as little foot traffic as possible."
"So I just have to live on the street until today is over? What a relief."
"Though..."
Iris withdrew the wind and stared straight at me.
"You're going to be my disciple anyway, so you won't need to worry about other people's eyes anymore, right? My reputation will cover your bad name."
That is true, though.
'Still, something feels off.'
That atmosphere in the hallway yesterday.
The strange looks people wore the moment I left the professor's research lab.
I get this ominous feeling that, rather than honor covering notoriety, notoriety will swallow honor and create an entirely new kind of scandal.
But let's not say that out loud and jinx it.
I'm scared my words will make it happen.
"Still, it can't hurt to be careful. Better safe than sorry, as they say."
I stood up from my seat.
And pointed a firm index finger at her.
The same closing line as yesterday.
I just can't resist going for the finishing blow.
"No seeing me off today, either."
"I had no intention of doing that anyway."
"And for a full thirty minutes, do not leave this room under any circumstances. Understood?"
"……Don't worry. I won't leave."
Her voice was trying hard to keep a poker face, but I saw it.
Her neck was once again turning pink.
What good is a poker face when your neck gives it all away?
"Then I'll come get the key to my private lab tomorrow, Professor."
I haven't learned anything yet, and I probably won't learn anything in the future either.
I grinned and opened the professor's office door.
*
"Then I'll be off."
I casually said my farewell and was about to open the professor's office door and step out when—
"Ah."
Someone was standing right in front of the door.
I hurriedly stopped short and looked up.
Features so noble they were almost arrogant.
A cold gaze that somehow seemed familiar, looking down at me like I was a bug.
And above that, a pair of dazzling golden twin tails that didn't exactly sparkle, but looked like they might.
"……."
It was Princess Eveline de Leopold.
"Uh..."
Click.
I instinctively shut the door first.
"Yes. Greetings, Your Highness the Princess."
A greeting so perfunctory I didn't even bow.
Eveline's brow twisted sharply.
Her expression screamed, "Why are you here?"
What had I done to her?
"Would you step aside?"
Eveline snapped at me in an irritated voice.
"I'm here to see Professor Iris. You're blocking the way, so the air is getting stuffy."
What, am I some fine dust to you, you bastard?
"Ah, yes. Of course. I'll move."
I obediently stepped aside.
But then, suddenly, one uneasy thought flashed through my mind.
'Wait, this isn't good, is it?'
Isn't Professor Iris's condition in the room pretty bad right now?
Her face is red as a beet, her neck is bright red, and the room's air is cold because I cooled it with magic.
If the princess goes in now?
And the princess saw that I had just come out?
'...Wouldn't this make people misunderstand?'
1. A man and a woman were in a sealed room.
2. The man just came out of there.
3. When you go into that sealed room, the woman is red in the face.
Anyone would say this is blatantly a scene from a smutty 19+ romance novel.
If the one going in were the heroine who's witnessed the whole wind-cooling scene instead of Eveline, it'd be textbook setup.
'Eh, no way.'
There's no way some red face alone is going to spark rumors of a secret rendezvous or anything.
If I panic and try to stop her, that'll only make me look more suspicious.
And it's not like I can stop the princess anyway.
'Whatever. Not my problem.'
"Hmph."
Knock, knock.
"Professor? It's Eveline de Leopold. May I come in?"
After a brief silence inside, Iris's voice came through, slightly flustered but trying hard to sound composed.
"……Come in."
Creak.
The sound of the door opening rang out.
I hurried away from the spot without even looking back, fleeing the scene.