Let's Not Recklessly Narrow Our Emotional Distance, Please

Chapter 18

It's been quite some time.

W-wait just a second! I'm still thinking! I……!

No. That's enough. Didn't you say this was an offer that clearly gave me the choice?

I had nothing to say.

Iris declared in a businesslike tone to the princess before her.

I'll file today's proposal away in my memory as something I never heard.

……Ah.

Ivelyn's mouth fell open blankly.

I would have preferred it if she'd just gotten angry or mocked me for being a disappointment.

'I'll pretend I never heard it.'

That consideration—the way she covered up her failure to preserve the princess's pride.

That was the greatest humiliation of all to Ivelyn.

'Does that mean I'm…… unqualified?'

Did that mean she was an inferior student who couldn't even understand the problem?

As Iris erased the formulas on the blackboard, she added carelessly,

"Then, please head home safely."

It was an order to leave.

Ivelyn fled the professor's office.

Standing in the hallway, she braced herself against the wall with trembling hands.

Her face burned so badly she couldn't bear it.

Shame and defeat wrapped around her entire body.

And at the end of it all, there was one impossible question left.

"Why?"

She bit her lip. The metallic taste of blood seeped out.

"That savage solved the problem I couldn't even touch……?"

That idiot, that rude bastard, that guy who couldn't even wear proper clothes with any sense of dignity?

"Impossible……."

She had to check.

Just what on earth had happened.

* * *

"Aw, shit."

I scratched my head hard and trudged along.

How did this even happen?

How did a place no one came to until yesterday suddenly become a hot spot overnight!

The moment I saw the rooftop garden swarming with people, I made a U-turn on the spot.

'So the only place left is the trash heap. I might even run into the saint there.'

That was actually a bit of an exaggeration.

It's actually an incinerator, but trash heap sounds better for emphasizing the misfortune.

"Sigh. Still, it's only for one day, so it'll be fine."

"If I had to keep hiding, I'd have gone looking for a third place where the saint probably wouldn't be."

Anyway, starting tomorrow my own private lab—an isolated, shut-in aging-jar-like room—will be ready.

I sat down hard on a bench, breathing in the familiar smell of the incinerator.

Rustle!

……

The bushes rustled, and familiar clumps of fur popped out one after another.

A brown squirrel. A white rabbit. And one shameless sparrow landing on my shoulder.

That's right.

It was a little better after mentally preparing myself.

Now then, isn't it time for the leader of this jerky expedition to show herself?

The long-awaited final member.

Pink hair peeked out, and its owner met my eyes.

Lily jerked and then slowly crawled out, looking utterly devastated as she looked down at me.

"Um…… may I sit down?"

"Go ahead. It's not like I bought this bench."

"I was worried you'd say you'd leave again because of me……."

Tears welled up in her light-green eyes.

What, is she a faucet or something?

I waved my hands in disgust.

"I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving. Stop crying like that, you're making things awkward. I'll end up looking like the bad guy."

"……That's not why I'm crying, though."

"I know it's not."

As if I didn't know?

But that's not the point.

I thumped my chest in frustration.

"Even if it isn't, look at the picture. The picture."

"The picture?"

"If a cute, pretty girl is bawling next to a savage, what do you think people are going to assume? They'll clearly think I'm the one making you cry, won't they?"

"……Hic, hic!"

딸꾹!

Lily tried to inhale, then launched into hiccups instead.

Her face turned beet red in an instant. Her pupils spun around, lost with nowhere to go.

"P-pretty…… you said?"

"Aw, fuck. I'm not trying to seduce you, so let's not get dramatic."

She knows she's pretty, though.

I waved my hands and rattled off,

"I'm just stating facts. You're not the kind of woman whose looks get lost anywhere, are you? And if I forced it and called you some absurdly ugly girl or an ordinary-looking girl, you'd probably think I was overdoing it too, so why are you acting like this?"

Apparently I hit the nail on the head, because she shut her mouth.

"So please, stop it. I don't want to be falsely accused."

"……."

"Do you understand?"

"Y-yes……."

Lily hung her head, as if her face might burst.

Then the squirrel poked me a couple of times.

It meant, if the conversation was over, it wanted jerky.

"Yeah, as if I entrusted it to you."

I snorted, handed the animals pieces of jerky, and finally gave Lily the largest chunk whole.

"……Thank you."

Munch, munch.

She sure accepted it eagerly enough when it came to eating.

She's surprisingly simple, this one.

* * *

Only the sound of the little-animal trio and Lily quietly chewing jerky drifted out.

This is kind of ASMR, honestly.

Lily chewed her jerky while gauging my expression.

She looked like she had something she wanted to say.

"If you've got something to say, say it. I'm getting indigestion."

"Um…… have you heard the rumor?"

"What rumor? The one about me collecting three shitty nicknames?"

"No, that's something you already know."

"……."

This little shit?

"I-I meant I didn't intend to bring up something you already know and make you uncomfortable!"

"I know. Since I know, don't kill me twice and just say it."

"Not that…… it's the rumor that Lord Cassian has been acting like a menace in Professor Iris's lab."

"Jesus, what bullshit."

Causing a scene, huh.

It must have been the crash and bang sounds heard in the professor's office after I left yesterday, twisted into gossip.

'That was just that person's one-man show.'

The way I addressed her kept wavering in my mind.

If I tried to stick with "professor," my thoughts kept veering toward the ways of the martial world, so forget it.

Anyway, I couldn't explain the full story.

'If I said, "The professor got embarrassed and fell over by herself," that would be even weirder.'

So I answered in a way that preserved Professor Iris's dignity as much as possible.

"If I had done that, I'd be roasted or turned into an ice statue by now. Can't you see I'm still alive and kicking?"

"I know. I just don't believe it."

Lily nodded.

"I know Lord Cassian isn't that kind of person…… I just wanted to let you know."

Why are you so dead set on not believing slander about me, and how do you know I'm not that kind of bastard?

…Huh?

"The world is rough these days, okay? Huh? Why are you trusting me? Let's not recklessly narrow our emotional distance like that, please."

That scared the hell out of me.

Why is this little glass-hearted thing doing this to me?

It was no small burden that the heroine had built up this one-sided sense of intimacy on her own.

Lily stuck out her lips in a pout.

She'd only get fixed if I gave her a flick on the lips every time she did that to fix it, that brat.

"…What exactly am I supposed to do?"

"It means let's keep our boundaries properly, neat, and sensible."

"What language is that? Ancient tongue?"

"Nope, it's an abbreviation."

Explaining stuff like this meant I'd lose, but.

For the sake of smooth communication, I reluctantly shared some modern knowledge.

"Just do it on your own, do it well, neatly, and with sense."

"……How am I supposed to do that?"

"I do it to you, don't I?"

"…I'm angry because I can't even argue with that."

"I'll take that as praise."

"It wasn't praise."

Lily pouted for a moment, then quickly broke into a grin and popped the rest of the jerky into her mouth.

…What exactly is so funny?

Seeing her so bright and innocent, I felt like I should at least tell her I wouldn't be coming anymore.

"Hey, Saint."

"Yes?"

"I'm not planning to come here anymore."

"……!"

Lily stopped chewing.

"W-why?!"

Her voice was so frantic it cracked.

Right.

My jerky really is that tasty.

"I got a private lab. Starting tomorrow I'll be staying there. It's a pleasant place with air conditioning and a sofa."

"A private…… lab?"

"Yeah."

"Wow……."

Envy dripped from Lily's eyes.

"Lucky…… If I had one of those too, I wouldn't have any more wishes."

"……."

At that, I closed my mouth.

Lily having a private lab?

That would be a disaster.

Right now Lily was darting around all over the place, so at least she could keep dodging the crown prince.

You'd be giving the crown prince her location?

What, are you going to turn him away when he comes knocking?

"Even if you had a lab, it wouldn't mean anything."

"Why not? I like being alone too."

"That's not for you to know."

"Even if it's about me?"

"Yes, even if it's about you. Just pretend it doesn't exist and keep living. It's better for your own good."

"That's harsh……."

But I didn't bother explaining.

I didn't want to show how well I understood this person.

I stared blankly up at the sky.

The acrid smell brushed my nose, but I was too caught up in useless thoughts to care.

A strange sense of unease was slowly creeping up from the crown of my head.

'……Is this okay?'

If things were going according to the original setup in my memory, then by now the villainess, Elysia, should've already been taking her first step toward becoming the embodiment of jealousy.

She'd been so focused on the crown prince that Lily, at the end of that gaze, should've started standing out to her.

She should've started hating Lily like crazy.

That was the beginning of that total madhouse, meaning Elysia should've started drying up like Guryongpo gwamegi.

Only then, a few months later, Elysia would set her sights on Saint Lily and torment her, while Crown Prince Louis would look at Elysia like she was a bug, and they'd end up in a muddy brawl.

Then Elysia would say to Louis

'So if I wanted to see you, I didn't need to look for you—I just needed to find that woman and torment her.'

or something like that.

Hmm. Thinking about it again, it's still pretty tasty.

But reality?

Yesterday in farming class, Elysia had been smiling brightly while watching me farm.

How on earth was that supposed to count as drying out?

Forget gwamegi. She didn't even look like semi-dried squid.

Lily?

"These days."

"……Nope."

I stopped myself before saying it.

To ask her,

'Has Elysia been picking fights lately?'

…would be a bit much.

And she didn't seem to have gotten any more glass-hearted either.

All right then, based on Elysia and Lily's condition, even though I hadn't seen it myself, let's tentatively conclude that Elysia wasn't causing trouble.

As for the crown prince?

Naturally, there'd be no reason for him to be any more irritated with his fiancée.

Was this really the same depressing romance fantasy I knew?

I don't think this is going to follow the original progression. Is this actually okay?

Hmm.

Once I thought it through that far, the conclusion was simple.

'This is a massive pain in the ass.'

There's nothing I can know or do, so what's the point of worrying more?

I mean, it's not like this was an apocalypse story.

Wouldn't it somehow work out?

I turned my head and looked to the side.

I saw Lily's pink cotton-candy head.

Wedged between the squirrel and the rabbit, she was munching away like a fourth little critter.

Maybe because her seated height was so small.

She was really tiny.

To think this tiny thing lived carrying those miserable memories from her past life.

If it were me, I wouldn't care that the first-round events hadn't even happened yet; the second I saw some crazy bitch handing me radioactive tea from the future, I'd get PTSD, freak out, and go full demon.

When I read it as a reader, I thought it was a little frustrating that the heroine was such a fragile, avoidant type.

But now that I'm facing a real, living person right in front of me, I get it.

My heart ached for no reason.

I pulled the remaining bag of jerky out of my pocket.

Plop.

"Eat it all."

"Huh? All of a sudden?"

Lily was startled and opened her eyes wide.

"If you don't want it, forget it."

When I pretended to take it back, Lily hurriedly snatched the bag away.

"Waaah, no!! You gave it to me!"

"Jeez, even when I give it to you, you complain."

Lily hugged the jerky bag to her chest and looked up at me quietly.

"……I just wondered why you're suddenly being so nice to me."

When have I ever been mean to you, then?

"You really know how to say things nicely, don't you, our heroine."

"It's just one of those things. Eat up and grow big and strong."

Though I doubt a grown adult with closed growth plates will grow much.

"……Thank you."

Lily's eyes sparkled with emotion.

The chances to shatter the mood again and make her realize the distance between us were starting to come up more and more often.

Well, anyway.

'I'm going to zone out now, so don't talk to me.'

Just as I was about to say that,

I heard the sound of something trampling through the bushes.

Rustle!

Again?

Who is it this time?

Has this incinerator turned into some kind of meeting place?

"……Eek!"

Beside me, Lily let out a birdlike squeal and shrank down, trying to hide behind me.

I clicked my tongue and turned my head.

A figure emerged from the bushes, with dazzling blonde hair and blood-red eyes.

They were the same colors as Crown Prince Louis's, but this time they were styled in twin tails.

Princess Ivelyn de Leopold.

But her gaze was anything but ordinary.

Her glare was so murderous it looked like she wanted to kill someone.

'Why is this bitch throwing a fit again?'

"Why is this bitch acting up again?"