Goodbye, My Lotto, My Fate

Chapter 24

I really wanted to shut my eyes and just say okay.

Even though I'd already sorted my thoughts out in advance, they were shaken to the roots.

Unlimited funding, and a private greenhouse.

Wasn't this the dream and romance of every potato farmer, the ultimate goal of my life?

'Should I just... pretend I don't know?'

The devil whispered.

Even Professor Iris would go, 'Uh, that's a bit much.' Just do it.

'I think so too.'

But.

Cotton-candy-pink hair flashed through my mind.

That harmless-looking face, chewing jerky on the bench.

'...Damn it.'

I rubbed my face in dry frustration and carefully opened my mouth.

"By any chance, am I the only one you’re considering as a student?"

"I don’t know why you’d want to know, but no."

Viscountess Müller shook her head firmly.

"Talent like yours is rare. A noble who knows the smell of soil—you’re practically a unicorn."

As expected.

Because of my interference, Lily hadn't even caught Viscountess Müller's eye.

Even if I didn't remember the entire original story, that much was certain among the scattered pieces I did remember.

Originally, Lily should have caught Viscountess Müller's attention right from the first class.

Viscountess Müller recognized Lily's talent and played the role of a dependable patron who supported her in every way.

But if I took that place?

'Lily's second life is doomed to be a thorny road.'

She's already busy running around to avoid the crown prince, and if even her only refuge disappears, she really has nowhere to go.

'Damn, this is so fucking gross.'

Taking away the happiness she'd have enjoyed if it weren't for me was a complicated issue.

If I went around ruining someone else's life just to enjoy the sweet perks, I'd feel filthy for the rest of my life.

I'd probably get indigestion while eating, have nightmares in my sleep, and get sleep paralysis.

And in that paralysis, someone would probably whisper in my ear, 'Give me back my benefactor.'

Frankly, like I thought earlier, this world wasn't some apocalypse, so the chance of things going totally to shit just because it didn't follow the original was probably low.

'You never know, though.'

In stories, they always go on about causality and whatnot, and whenever you twist the original, some shitty accident always happens.

Usually, the people who got dragged in would use aura or mana or whatever, solve the chaos with flashy whoosh-bang nonsense, and keep their precious life coins intact.

But me?

I had nothing but the Magic Conch skill, limited to three uses a day, right?

I was screwed, right?

'Fuck this. Since when is worrying about other people in my fate?'

Maybe that thought had just been sour grapes to rationalize kicking away my honey pot.

So I had to admit it.

'Fuck, I got too close to that pink-headed bitch.'

Even street dogs grow attached if you feed them, so how much more would a person?

The problem is she's so cute I'd want to take her home like a stray puppy.

Seriously!!

Argh!!!

I felt like I might cry blood, but I made up my mind.

This wasn't for Lily.

Let's just call it a purely selfish choice to get rid of my discomfort.

"...I'm sorry, but."

"Hm?"

"I don’t think I can accept that offer."

Viscountess Müller's eyebrows twitched.

"Why is that? Are the conditions insufficient?"

"No. The conditions are more than enough. More than I deserve, honestly."

I meant it.

I'm not the kind of guy who wants to lick just anyone's toes.

"Hmmm...."

Perhaps sensing my hesitation, Viscountess Müller fell into thought for a moment, then quickly added another audacious proposal.

"If it feels overwhelming because you’re alone, don’t worry. If you have another student who wants to enter with you, bring them along. There will of course be a vetting process, but for your sake I’ll judge very favorably."

Wow.

She’s really generous.

To go this far.

But to me, that was terrifying.

"Ah, I’d absolutely rather not. That’s not what I meant."

Bring Lily along and become students together?

See each other every day, work the fields together every day, and go through school side by side.

I'd fucking hate that.

"All right. Then tell me anything. I’ll fix it for you."

"...I’m truly sorry, but I think entering as a student itself will be difficult."

"Why?"

"It’s a bit hard to explain. Please forgive me for the parts I can’t explain."

At my resolute attitude, Viscountess Müller narrowed her eyes.

She stared straight into my eyes.

Then she leaned back and let out a scoff.

"So there’s a reason you can’t say, or something like that?"

"Yes. That’s right."

"For the record, it wasn't just because you gave a crisp answer to my question last time that I wanted to take you on as a student."

"...Pardon?"

What was that supposed to mean now?

"I watched the way you touched the soil and the expression on your face throughout the first class."

She continued, looking down at her own palm.

"I realized your language didn't come from a fiction in a book, but from real experience. Someone who doesn't love the soil could never have eyes like that."

Holy shit.

That gave me goosebumps.

I thought this lady was just posturing with some concept, but she was observing every move her students made.

Sorry for mistaking you for a salary thief.

"If you’re a talent with this level of intelligence and practical ability, I really would like to take you on."

Me too.

I really want to go too, ma'am.

So please stop trying to seduce me.

I'm really wavering here, you know?

I bit my lip. It felt like I might taste blood.

My fucking honey pot.

At this point, I was Lily's benefactor, not Viscountess Müller.

"Would you hear me out if I recommended a talent in exchange?"

"Hm?"

Viscountess Müller's eyes sparkled with interest.

"I suppose this is an extension of your earlier question about whether there was someone you had in mind as a student. Is this a favor request?"

She didn't seem the least bit displeased.

Rather, she seemed to be enjoying this bold proposal.

I was howling like a beast inside.

Like some ridiculously overpowered invisible dragon.

Kuwaaaah.

'Fuck, favor request or whatever, I want to grab her pant leg, lick her toes, and beg her to accept me right now.'

"It's not a favor request. I know that wouldn't work on someone like you. It's just... in the sense of recommending a capable talent, that's all."

"All right. Go on. If you’re recommending someone, they’d better at least know a thing or two about soil."

That was true.

That's why it's not a favor request but a recommendation.

"In this semester, not the lecture I’m taking, but the herbology class held on another day."

Phew.

"There should be a student named Lily."

"...Lily?"

Viscountess Müller's eyebrows rose.

"Ah, you mean that saintess. The one with pink hair."

"So you know her."

That pink head of hers is kind of her trademark.

When you see all that wispy hair fluttering around, she looks like cotton candy.

"Of course. She’s the girl who drew attention even before enrolling."

'If you know that, why haven't you contacted her yet?'

As if.

It must be because I stole all the attention.

Because I went crazy and started doing fieldwork among the nobles from the very first class, all of Viscountess Müller's attention had been aimed at me.

Lily's tiny, bracken-like hands, struggling to do anything they could, were, well...

probably as different from that as a spicy short-form clip and a documentary everyone calls a boring snooze-fest.

Now that I think about it, I really did block Lily's path.

Crap.

"Please take a look at her once. That's enough. She..."

I paused to choose my words.

"She'll probably be much better than me."

"Hmm...."

Viscountess Müller smiled, amused.

Behind that smile, I could see a vision of my brand-new greenhouse and unlimited corporate card sprouting wings and flying away.

Goodbye... my research funds... my paradise....

"All right."

Viscountess Müller nodded coolly.

"I’ll make a point of paying special attention to that student. I’ll trust your judgment."

"Thank you."

"However, there’s a condition."

She raised one finger.

"If that student turns out to be no good, then you’ll reconsider my offer. How about it?"

…Wow.

This lady was really persistent—no, actually, I should be grateful.

If Lily somehow flops, that means I get another chance, right?

She was even giving me insurance. She was basically an angel.

"Understood. Though that won't happen."

You're the one who gets to choose her.

"Very confident. I like that."

Viscountess Müller stood up and picked up her hat.

I hurriedly added one more thing.

"Ah, but I have one favor to ask."

"You keep tacking things on. Go on, tell me."

"Please keep the fact that I recommended that student an absolute secret! Never tell anyone!"

"Hm?"

She tilted her head, perplexed.

"Don’t people usually want to show off when they do that? And you still can’t tell me the reason this time?"

"No. This time I can tell you."

I answered very plainly, with sincerity.

"Because I don’t want to become close."

....

Viscountess Müller paused.

Then, after a moment.

"AHAHAHAHA!!"

Her hearty laughter filled the reception room.

She was laughing so hard she was clutching her stomach, with tears welling at the corners of her eyes.

"Ah, you’re really an interesting student. Hiding the fact that you made a recommendation because you don’t want to get close."

"I’m serious. Getting tangled up with people is exhausting."

"One thing is certain. You really do want to live quietly."

She wiped away her tears and looked at me.

It felt strange.

It was obvious, but when she said it like she could see right through me, I felt oddly stripped bare.

"Fine. But I can’t promise that."

Why not?

"No reason. Let’s just say it’s the spite of someone who offered a blank check and got rejected."

What the hell.

I had nothing to say.

"...Understood."

"Professor Iris is lucky. She has a disciple with such loyalty."

Viscountess Müller held out her hand for a handshake.

Unlike earlier with Wilhelm,

I did so sincerely,

taking her hand with all my heart and deep regret.

It was a rough but warm hand.

A hand that smelled of money.

"Tha... thank you."

"If you change your mind later, come by anytime. My door is always open."

She then made her exit, cool as ever.

Click.

The sound of the door closing sounded like the shutter coming down on my life.

"Goodbye... my lotto... my fate..."

I slumped onto the sofa and looked up at the ceiling.

Fuuuuuck.

Shit.

* * *

Creeeak, thud.

As she left the reception room, Viscountess Müller burst into the laughter she'd been holding back.

"Pffft."

The young butler standing guard at the door looked at her in confusion and tried to guide her to the office.

She gave a light nod and slowly followed the butler down the corridor.

Cassian’s face lingered in her mind like an afterimage.

That world-weary, devastated expression floated up in the air.

'Why is he so transparent? He’s acting like someone who just lost a pile of gold right in front of him.'

Normally, if your offer gets rejected, your pride should take a hit.

You offered a blank check and got kicked away?

Then the one who made the offer would have no ground to complain if they held a grudge against the person who turned it down.

Because in high society, if you can’t have something, breaking it is common sense.

'Of course, that didn’t mean I was going to do that.'

Of course, the running of the trade house wasn't her domain, but that was only a public mask.

That's why even the ridiculous, far-out proposal she just made was possible.

Even so, Viscountess Müller felt refreshed.

Because the fact that he wanted to accept her proposal so badly he was going crazy was written all over his face.

He had been dying to say yes a moment ago, and now he was pitifully apologizing.

He clearly hated saying sorry.

'I never knew something could feel this not unpleasant.'

There was no room for her pride to get scratched.

'Right. If he's willing to turn down money and support he wants that badly, then he must really have unavoidable circumstances.'

Then suddenly, a sliver of doubt flashed through her mind.

'Could this be acting too, by any chance?'