At My Age, a 24-Person Military Tent? At My Age, Sleeping Outdoors?

Chapter 42

I deliberately looked away and surveyed the laboratory.

……Oh.

It was sparkling.

Originally, it had been a derelict place with dust everywhere and even a few cobwebs in the corners.

The floor gleamed, and the desk was so smooth a fly would have slipped off it after landing.

The window glass was so clean I almost thought there wasn't any.

'Did you do all this by yourself?'

I used to be the kind of person who ate snacks on dirt floors, so a dust pit wouldn't have bothered me.

Since I'd actually moved in here, I'd never even brought up cleaning once.

Man, that must've been brutal.

And since it was the weekend, she probably couldn't even get jerky from me and had gone hungry.

"......You've really done a proper move-in cleanup."

I murmured, tracing the edge of the desk with my finger.

"Huh? Move-in cleanup?"

"I mean you did a full cleanup. It's spotless."

"……!"

Lily's head shot up.

"Yes! I worked hard! So you'd be happy when Lord Cassian came!"

"I see. You must have had it rough. Thanks to you, I can enjoy myself in comfort."

"Hehe."

I plopped down into the chair and asked.

"But did you eat while you were at it?"

"Um... well..."

Grrrumble.

Instead of an answer, her stomach answered for her.

"Heh."

Of course.

I set down my bag and pulled out a large pouch from inside.

Lily and the trio of small animals instinctively turned their heads.

Can't blame them. I'd seasoned it to perfection, and the smell was incredible.

"Come here. Sit down and eat. You guys come here too."

Hustle, hustle!

Patpatpat!

The first to react were the sparrow-head and the other two.

Rustle.

Next I took several small wooden bowls out of the bag.

I'd originally meant to use them for my own snacks, but what could I do? I'd have to use them for guests.

"All right, line up."

One on the desk. That's for the sparrow.

Two on the floor. Those are for the squirrel and the rabbit.

I piled each bowl high with shredded jerky.

"Eat."

Taptap! Chompchomp!

The moment I spoke, the three of them buried their noses in the bowls and started inhaling their food like a storm.

What, were they possessed by a ghost that starved to death?

Watching that heartwarming yet absurd scene, I turned and looked at Lily.

…….

Lily's expression had broken again.

Her pupils were shaking like a magnitude-7.0 quake, and her lips were trembling.

She looked so wronged and miserable it seemed like she'd burst into tears any second.

"Ugh... what now?"

I rubbed my forehead.

"What, are you afraid that once they're done eating I'll say, 'Well, the last supper's over, so get out'?"

"Huh!"

Lily sucked in a breath.

"Uh, how did you know?"

"Because it's obvious."

…….

"What, while you're at it, were you going to say, 'Let's just settle it neatly by deducting it from the cleaning fee'?"

"Eek!"

Pierced dead-on, Lily staggered backward.

I clicked my tongue.

This saintess's suspicion complex was practically a mental illness.

Her trauma ran too deep.

At this rate, if I said, "Take care," she'd probably interpret it as "Have a nice trip to the afterlife."

So I decided to prescribe the surest, side-effect-free treatment possible.

The facts.

"Last weekend, your mentor, Viscountess Müller, paid me for taking you in."

"......Really?"

Lily's eyes went round.

"Yes. Quite generously, too. I despise working for free, and since I was paid, you're no longer a burden."

"Ah..."

"You're here by rightful claim. A fully pre-paid customer."

Only then did color return to Lily's face.

To think she'd relax just because she'd paid money.

The simple way she let her guard down once it made sense.

She's really easy to handle.

"Anyway, let's redefine our relationship."

I snapped my fingers.

"From now on, you're my customer. So starting tomorrow, you don't need to clean anymore. What kind of shop has customers sweeping the floor?"

"No!"

Lily waved her hands.

"I want to clean, so please let me! And... it probably won't be enough, but I'll repay you with my labor if I have to!"

"……."

That wording's a little dangerous.

"I mean I'll work to pay you back!"

"I know. Did I say otherwise?"

Lily was underestimating Viscountess Müller's wealth far too much.

Just how much had that woman thrown around?

It wasn't merely enough—it was such a bargain that even if I carried Lily on my back and ran ten laps around the academy grounds, I'd still come out ahead.

I decided to tell her the truth.

Of course, leaving out the 30 billion in gold bars.

"I received more than enough payment."

"Really?"

"I'm not kidding. I got so much it defies imagination, so you don't need to feel indebted. If anything, I'm the one who ought to bow to you."

"But I still want to clean... I get anxious if I just sit still."

"Do as you like. If it's clean, that's better for me anyway."

I shrugged and picked up the entire large bag of jerky.

Thud.

"Here, take it."

"......Huh?"

The heavy pouch dropped onto Lily's lap.

"It's yours, so eat it as you please. Portion it out, carry it around whole, boil it, grill it—whatever."

"A-all of this?"

The instant food sovereignty was handed to the hungry.

Lily's eyes began sparkling.

"And."

Plop.

I sat down in the chair and rested my chin on my hand, looking at Lily.

"If you want something to eat, just say the word. I'll take care of your three meals a day. That's part of the contract too, so don't worry about it."

In truth, the contract didn't lay it out that specifically.

But if I included this too, I'd probably feel a little less guilty about pocketing forty billion.

"N-no... how can you do that every time...?"

"If you're worried, I'll just choose the menu myself. You know my tastes, right? If you want to chew on jerky for all three meals, go ahead and refuse."

"Y-yes! Thank you! I'll eat well!"

Look at her not even refusing.

Lily hugged the jerky pouch to her chest, smiling happily as if she had the whole world.

It was hard to believe this was the same girl who'd been on the verge of tears just moments ago.

I swallowed a satisfied smile.

'Once she gets even more comfortable, she'll start saying it on her own.'

"Today chicken, tomorrow pizza," or something like that.

The pleasure of fattening someone up nicely with good food.

Come to think of it, this is why people raise puppies.

"Then let's begin the meal, customer."

"I'll eat well!"

Lily answered loudly and took a big bite of jerky.

Crunch!

"......It's so good......."

Watching the pink retriever so happy her pronunciation was falling apart, I let out a hollow laugh, and at the same time my stomach hurt.

To think a tiny scrap of jerky could make her look like she owned the world.

See that?

I just became this brat's whole world with a single scrap of jerky.

"Were you starving all weekend? You're eating like a ravenous ghost."

"N-no! I wasn't starving. I just... had a bowl of soup, that's all."

"For two days?"

"Y-yes..."

Crazy old bastard.

That old man—whatever his name was, that Cardinal Barneo or whatever—was he out of his mind?

Did he think the saintess was some fairy who lived on dew alone, or was he trying to starve her to death?

You expect the saintess to understand the poor by experiencing starvation?

I bet that bastard had gotten fat as a pig himself.

Or maybe not.

I was swallowing my cursing in my head when Lily jumped and clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Eek! I-I'm not complaining! I was just stating facts..."

She seemed scared because she'd just blurted out that she was being mistreated.

Worried I might report it or spread the word.

What a tiring life that woman must lead.

"Don't freak out. That's not some huge secret."

"......Huh?"

"That cardinal bossing you around—I know about it, and so does Lady Müller. It's an open secret among all the people in the know."

"Uh, how..."

"What do you take the second son of a court count and the head of the capital's merchant guild for? You think they wouldn't have that level of information?"

Though, to be honest, I knew because I'd read the original story.

Viscountess Müller probably found out through her own intelligence network.

In situations like this, blaming the family background is best.

"And like I said earlier, I got paid by Lady Müller. Since I have to earn my keep, even if you slip up and say something here, I have no intention of letting anything leak outside this room unless it's related to treason."

I traced a little circle with my index finger and went on.

"I always make sure I give people their money's worth, that's me."

"......Ah."

At last, relief spread across Lily's face.

The irony of her feeling safer because I said it was about money.

She went back to focusing on the jerky, back to nom-nom mode once more.

Chewing, tearing, savoring, and enjoying herself.

On the desk and on the floor.

The animal trio, having polished off my snack bowls in no time, licked their lips and stared fixedly at the giant lump of jerky in Lily's hands.

The squirrel rubbed its front paws together, the rabbit twitched its nose, and the sparrow watched for a chance to move onto Lily's shoulder.

'......These little thugs.'

They're threatening me with their eyes, seriously.

Lily looked like she might choke under that glare.

Just as she hesitated, wondering whether she should tear off some jerky for them.

Chrrrk.

Silently, I opened the jerky pouch I'd handed Lily and refilled the empty bowls for the animals to overflowing.

"Eat your own food. Don't go stealing people's food."

"......!"

The animals' gazes snapped immediately to me—or rather, to the bowl in my hand.

I tossed the words out indifferently and leaned back in my chair again.

Lily sent me a touched, grateful look, but she was wrong.

What I offered wasn't kindness.

It was nothing more than a service-first mindset, making sure my customer could eat in peace.

Damn right.

* * *

After the meal, peace returned to the laboratory.

With her stomach full, Lily was in full-on happy mode, humming to herself.

The animals were full too, and had huddled together in a corner to nap.

This was exactly the healing life I'd been dreaming of.

I stretched and got to my feet.

"If you've eaten well, let's start getting ready for class. Oh, right, the desk and chair still haven't arrived, have they?"

"Yes."

"Then let's just lay out a rug, rest here today, and head out when class time comes. I need to catch a little nap myself."

I took off my coat, rolled it up, and made a pillow.

But then.

"......Class?"

Lily tilted her head and looked at me.

"Yeah."

"But... there aren't any classes this week."

"......Oh?"

No classes?

A break? Academy anniversary?

My mouth corners twitched almost on their own.

"Sweet deal. Did the professors all go on some group workshop or something?"

"No."

Lily tilted her head again and blurted something ridiculous.

"This week is the region tour period."

…….

Region tour?

What was that again?

It sounded familiar. Where had I heard it before?

In an instant, the memories of my previous life from over twenty years ago and the hazy data of the original story's setting fused together and flashed one ominous fact into my brain.

Region Tour.

A field practicum that supposedly involves touring the areas around the academy, getting familiar with the terrain and landmarks, while also doing real training in the forest and mountains.

Sounds nice when you call it a tour.

But the reality is.

'Military-style camping training.'

Son of a bitch.

"......Ah."

A groan slipped out.

When my face went pale, Lily asked worriedly,

"Lord Cassian? What's wrong?"

"That... fucking..."

There was no way I wasn't going to swear.

"You mean that field-practice crap where they drag you around the academy's surrounding areas in a carriage until your ass is wrecked, then dump you in the forest and mountains at night to work you like a dog?"

"The wording's a little rough, but... yes. It's camping, building teamwork, learning the basics of subjugating magical beasts... wait, you knew about it?"

Lily asked in surprise.

"If you knew, why did you say you didn't just now?"

Why else?

Denial of reality.

"Aaaaagh!"

I clutched my head and screamed.

"A 24-person military tent at this age! Sleeping outdoors at this age!"

"A 24-person... tent?"

"That moldy-smelling fucking tarp where you hammer in the stakes and jam your fingers, and if it rains the water leaks through!"

PTSD came crashing over me like a tsunami.

Memories of pitching an A-frame tent and sleeping curled up inside it.

Memories of marching until my blisters burst open.

Memories of waking up in the morning, desperately clutching cold hand warmers like they were the balls of a dead kid.

And I had to do that again in this fantasy world, as a noble young master, no less?

"No way! I can't do it! They can gut me for all I care!"

In this damn chivalry-obsessed world, they put the girls in nice brand-new tents and dump the shitty castoffs on the guys so they can work their asses off!!

Damn romance-fantasy world!! Pitchforks! I need pitchforks!!

* * *

Nope, there was none of that.

The moment you picked up a pitchfork in a medieval romance-fantasy world, you'd be suspected of being a revolutionary.

"We're setting off!"

Right after the principal's unbearably sleepy, long-winded sermon ended.

At the escort leader Wilhelm von Kreutz's cue.

The giant two-and-a-half-ton truck-like carriages carrying the first-years began moving in a single-file procession.

'What the hell kind of tax-and-tuition money sink is this?'

They're burning magic stones to run this size?!

Right now, your taxes and tuition are being thrown straight into the gutter!

I could hear a comedian's voice in my head like an auditory hallucination.