What, You Want Me to Make Her Have a Crush on Me or Something?

Chapter 99

"I'm perfectly sane."

"That's not something a sane person would say! Just now you were nodding when I said not to cross the line, and now you're asking me to seduce her? What the hell is wrong with your brain?"

When I pointed at him in disbelief, Lucius clasped his hands together with an utterly calm expression.

"I have my reasons."

"Reasons my ass. Why would I seduce your sister? No. Too much trouble."

I needed to cut this off before it went any further, because I had a bad feeling hearing more would screw me over.

Seriously, I did not want my life getting any more complicated here, for fuck's sake.

As I turned him down flat, Lucius shrugged leisurely.

"Let me be clear: my sister is very beautiful."

"I don't care."

"We're twins. My sister shares my face perfectly. Think of her as me with longer hair."

"Shit! That's exactly what I hate!"

I shouted with genuine disgust.

You're telling me to seduce a woman with that slick, greasy man's face plastered on her?

What, am I supposed to pass somebody's patience test or something?

"How heartless can you be? If you take into account the financial losses I suffered, this little extra request is..."

"I'll pay you back with money then! With interest, too, so hand me the bill!"

Lucius kept doggedly pressing the issue.

"Just three times. Three times over a meal. All you have to do is fire off three killer lines that will make my sister's heart sink."

"I'm not doing it."

How the hell am I even supposed to do that in the first place?

He's trying to make me do something I can't even do.

"If my sister falls for you, I'll handle everything after that. Lord Cassian, you can just say, 'Ah, I'm sorry that I'm so irresistible,' and coolly turn away."

"I said I'm not doing it... huh?"

Wait a second.

Something's off.

…….

At Lucius's bright-eyed, completely insane nonsense, I furrowed my brow.

Just a moment ago, he'd obediently nodded when I told him not to cross the line.

In the middle of the conversation, something intensely suspicious smacked me in the back of the head.

"What is it?"

I crossed my arms and asked, leaning slightly to one side.

"So you're saying that if my three lines make your sister fall for me, you'll handle the cleanup, and I just have to turn around coolly?"

"Yes. That's correct."

"Are you telling me to seduce her or not?"

Seduce her and then coolly turn around and run away?

Like that would work.

This sounds like the goal itself isn't dating or marriage in the first place, doesn't it?

At my sharp remark, Lucius leaned back against the sofa and grinned.

"As expected, Lord Cassian, you're very smart."

"Don't beat around the bush and explain it properly. I don't feel like playing Twenty Questions since this morning."

At my threat, Lucius lifted his teacup and took a graceful sip of black tea.

Slurp.

"Mm. Nice aroma."

He set the cup down, letting his trademark sly smile disappear, and continued with a thoroughly serious face.

"Honestly, as her brother, the best-case scenario I hope for is for Lord Cassian and my sister to officially date, and eventually even get engaged."

"And where does my opinion factor into that?"

"Of course not. So if the best-case scenario isn't possible, then at least the next best."

Lucius's blue eyes turned straight to me.

"I'm asking you to set my sister's heart on fire."

"What, you want me to make her have a crush on me or something?"

"Yes."

Lucius nodded without the slightest hesitation.

"If you truly have no intention of dating or getting engaged anytime soon, then I want my sister to have a truly intense one-sided crush on you."

Wow.

Now that I heard it in detail, that's way crazier than when he asked me to seduce her earlier.

Strangely enough, the eyes of the man saying that looked far more serious and far less insane than before.

'There's something going on.'

I instinctively sensed that there must be some very complicated, deeply rooted family matter in their house that I didn't know about.

'I don't know the details, but at least I can tell this isn't him telling his sister to go screw herself.'

But.

I didn't bother peeling back the thin shell of that story to get at the flesh underneath.

'You don't go sticking your nose into other people's family business.'

Because if I got tangled up in something complicated too carelessly, it was obvious I'd end up sinking into a swamp I couldn't fully handle.

To put it a little coldly, Lucius wasn't a core main character who appeared directly in the original novel and took up a major share of the story.

Which meant he wasn't someone like Liliana or Elysia, someone I had to prioritize and protect with my life.

Of course, during the Regional Tour, thanks to this guy's alchemy, we were able to finish the village roadwork very smoothly, and I'm sincerely grateful for that help.

'That still doesn't mean we're close enough for me to accept a request to get into a total dumpster-fire relationship with his sister.'

Most importantly.

'I don't know how to do that kind of thing.'

What even is seducing someone?

What are these killer lines that set a woman's heart on fire?

I'm not the male lead of some romance novel, or a natural-born playboy who spits out flirty lines like breathing—how the hell am I supposed to do that?

Even when I was walking with Elysia in the Star Tree Forest, my heart nearly burst and I was so awkward it was pathetic.

I shook my head with a hardened expression and answered Lucius.

"I refuse."

"…What?"

"It's beyond my abilities. I couldn't do some cringe-inducing crap like that even if you paid me."

At my ironclad refusal, Lucius looked dumbfounded for a moment, then soon smiled softly and backed off without complaint.

"Well. Fine."

"You give up fast."

"I'm not giving up, though?"

"What are you talking about?"

Lucius, having said something incomprehensible, was only wearing his usual smile.

"As you promised earlier."

Lucius stood from his seat and straightened his clothes.

"If, for that one day, you show my lady sincere courtesy as a perfect gentleman, that's enough."

Maybe I rejected him too cleanly.

Or maybe he was tossing out the bait knowing I'd refuse from the start.

Since Lucius didn't cling and just pulled right back out, one corner of my heart that had been putting up walls actually felt a little sheepish.

"…Fine. I'll definitely keep my promise on that part."

"In that case."

Lucius added one more condition with a grin.

"Please set it for this weekend as soon as possible."

"This weekend? There aren't many days left."

"Would that be possible?"

I let out a small sigh.

If I'm going to take the hit anyway, it's better to get it over with quickly.

"Fine. I'll do it."

"Understood. Then let's make it lunch this Saturday. If Lord Cassian decides on the exact place, you can let me know."

Watching Lucius head off in high spirits, I rubbed the back of my neck.

I had bragged with my own mouth that I'd be properly courteous, annoying or not, so there was no helping it.

From booking the venue to planning the escort route.

'Looks like I'm about to end up planning a blind date course that was never in my destiny.'

"Yeah. Go on."

I casually saw Lucius off with a wave as he left the manor.

* * *

Szzzzzzzt!

When I drizzled cooking oil into the wide, blazing-hot frying pan and tossed in the finely chopped green onions, the kitchen filled with a loud sizzle and the fragrant smell of scallion oil.

"Oh, man..."

As I stood in front of the burner flame, stir-frying the scallions with a wooden spatula, a self-deprecating sigh slipped out on its own.

'I'm seriously fucking busy.'

Without a doubt, once the Regional Tour schedule was canceled by our early return to the academy, first-years in the Magic Department were basically enjoying a perfectly legitimate golden vacation.

The other freshmen were probably still sleeping in late right now, or had crawled into the capital to goof off while humming happily.

'Who was it that got that Regional Tour finished so damn quickly?'

Wasn't it me?

I was the one who wiped out the slums in one shot with a mud tsunami and forced the schedule to end.

Wasn't that an accomplishment worthy of scraping together every possible reward leave—from battalion commander to brigade commander to division commander—and still not having enough?

But damn.

"Why am I so busy?"

No, it's not even just that I'm the only one working while everyone else rests.

Everyone else is taking a break while I'm the only one doing all the grunt work and running myself ragged.

It's a hundred times tougher than sitting in class at the academy and zoning out.

Last night I had a nasty blowup with Cardinal Barneo at the academy gate.

Then I had a life-threatening nighttime walking date with Elysia in the Star Tree Forest.

Then I came home and handed my father an embarrassing romance report.

And then what?

"Bliiind daaaate?"

This isn't the end.

During this sweet vacation, don't I also have to get intensive hellish magic tutoring from Professor Iris, who's been itching to monopolize me?

"I can't skip it, right?"

Skipping it might be a bit much.

"I mean, postponing it or something."

"Nope, that won't do."

Come to think of it, that was nonsense.

More than anything, if she got disappointed or hurt, I felt like I'd end up with a situation I really couldn't handle.

Hmm.

Right.

I guess I just have to accept it obediently.

"Ah, damn it!"

I dumped the egg mixture and cold rice into the frying pan and snapped my wrist hard.

Crack! Crack!

At the irritation packed into my rough pan-flicking snap, the golden-coated grains of rice bounced violently up into the air.

It was like my stress had turned into grains of rice and gone wild.

'Since it can't even fly anyway, stop thinking about it and just focus on making the rice, damn it.'

This is a forty-billion-won customer.

I need to treat them like a VIP.

I can't act like some gacha game company that treats people like suckers.

Still.

"Ah! I'm pissed!!"

I want to rest and have fun too!!!