Chapter 7
“Bother me one more time, and then the World Tree is really going to go up in flames, okay?”
Elfride, at 237 years old, was strong.
The elders were devastated by the shocking fact that even four of them attacking at once had not been worthy opponents.
An advantage in numbers? Real combat experience? Skilled technique?
Those only worked when the gap was within a certain range.
In the face of overwhelming ‘power,’ ‘technique’ and ‘numbers’ were meaningless.
“Why aren't you answering? I asked if you understood.”
“...Understood.”
The elders had no choice but to accept their resignations when Elfride threatened to burn down the World Tree instead of being persuaded.
“Ah, and one more thing.”
This alone was horrifying enough, but Elfride's demands did not stop there.
“I'm going to enroll in the Imperial Holy Academy, so you should know that.”
“...What?”
“Are you deaf from old age? I'm going to the academy to enjoy my youth. I was about to die of suffocation after being locked inside the World Tree my whole life anyway, so now that I've gotten younger, I should enjoy myself a little.”
“I-I'm sorry, but Lady Elfride cannot enroll in the academy.”
The flustered elder began to speak.
“Why? Why can't I enroll?”
“...Th-that is...”
It was not because she was a high elf.
Although the academy was located in the human Empire, race was not a problem at all.
The main gate of the Holy Academy, where Goddess Ellis guaranteed equality in her own name, was open to everyone.
In fact, even among elves who disliked contact with other races, quite a few studied abroad at the Holy Academy, and their satisfaction had been remarkably high.
But...
“What? If you started talking, finish. You, Elder.”
Urged on by Elfride, the elder took a deep breath.
She wanted to enter as a freshman at an academy whose average incoming age was twenty!!
If you had lived to 237, you should at least know better than to be this shameless!!
If you were an ordinary elf, you'd be old enough to have a granddaughter entering the academy!!
Even if you'd undergone rejuvenation, it only made your body young, not your mind, so how could you say something so shameless?!
"...Phewww."
The elder breathed out again.
The spot Elfride had just struck was throbbing, making it difficult for the elder to voice the thoughts they'd kept bottled up.
'Honestly, at 237, she'd have trouble entering even as a professor...'
Except for one 110-year-old elf, the professors at the Holy Academy were, at most, in their sixties.
In other words, even the current professors were only a quarter of Elfride's age.
“Until now, the Holy Academy has never granted admission to anyone over the age of thirty, regardless of race. But a 240-year-old elf can't possibly enroll....”
“Two hundred forty? Who?”
"...."
"Could you mean me? No way, I'm nineteen. Just look at my face. How could this be the face of a 237-year-old? Anyone can see I'm nineteen.”
“....”
“What? Why are you elders making those faces? Are you cold? Want me to warm you up? I happen to have a nice piece of firewood.”
“No...”
“Good, you've thought it over. Don't worry too much. Besides, almost no one except the elders knows my true identity, right? So just issue me a new ID. I'll handle the rest. Oh, naturally, put my age down as nineteen.”
Elfride looked as though her mind was made up.
There was no persuading her with words, and they could not defeat her with force either.
In the end, all the elders could do was beg.
“...Understood, Lady Elfride. But please, I beg you, at least keep your contract with the Spirit King a secret. If you attract too much attention from humans...”
“Oh, come on! Do you think I'm a child? I told you I'll handle it! Don't worry, I'll only show them an upper-level spirit or two, so go make my ID already.”
“...Yes. We will.”
At this point, the elders should never have trusted Elfride's ‘just enough.’
Even if it was the greatest academy in the Empire, its entrance exam was for twenty-year-olds who were no different from infants in an elf's eyes.
How difficult could the exam possibly be?
Showing even an intermediate spirit would be enough for her to pass with ease, so naturally, they thought Elfride would show an upper-level spirit of only one element.
[A genius high elf who contracted with upper-level spirits of all four elements at age nineteen has appeared!!!]
(Elfride pretending to be shy while covering her face)
-The high elf ‘Elfride Karleya,’ who possesses incredible beauty and genius-level spirit magic skills, has appeared at the Holy Academy entrance exam and is attracting attention!!
-There have only been three instances in history of someone contracting with upper-level spirits of two or more elements before the age of twenty... And it has now been revealed that contracting with all four elements is a first in history, causing a shock...
-On the other hand, some are voicing concern that if she can contract with upper-level spirits of all four elements at the young age of nineteen, an elf who finally succeeds in contracting with the Spirit King may have appeared....
That was until the elders received the breaking news in their council meeting.
“Ghk!.. Hrk!... Th-the dream... of making the elves... great... again... Kehk..! M-my... heart... Hrk... Ghkghk...!”
“T-Third Elder! Get a hold of yourself! Fourth Elder!! First Elder, what are you doing?! Help the Third Elder!”
“...We worked so hard to hide Elfride... and it all collapsed... in an instant... How hollow... how utterly hollow.”
“Hahahaha!!! We elves are doomed! Humans rule the world now!”
And so, Elfride, a once-in-an-era genius girl spirit mage who was nineteen (237 years old), was about to enter the Holy Academy...
[Poster : IOnlySayNiceThings■ = Elfride Karleya]
[Don't these fucking anonymous assholes know their place these days?][9]
They think they're on equal footing with fixed-nickname users. We should grind every anonymous asshole into fertilizer, seriously...
She was busy using the gallery, switching between logging out and logging back in.
ㅇㅇ(74.803) : Wow, that's exactly the kind of thought an elf would have.
ㄴ IOnlySayNiceThings■ : Then is this a comment a demon would leave?
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(74.803) : Is summoning demons whenever someone bashes elves some kind of unwritten rule? LOL Does the world really have only demon elf-haters? LOL
ㅇㅇ(125.840) : Please stop hating on anonymous users.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(125.840) : If you keep hating, I'll have no choice but to fight hate with hate. I don't want to do that... Please, just say nice things like your username says...
ㄴ IOnlySayNiceThings■ : If you don't like it, make a fixed-nickname account. Seriously, why the hell are you using an anonymous account? For the record, I've never used one.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(125.840) : Not everyone has to use a fixed nickname...
ㄴ IOnlySayNiceThings■ : Not everyone is obligated to refrain from hating anonymous users~
WholesomeUsername32■ : Just because someone's anonymous doesn't mean they're a bad anonymous user. There are plenty of fixed-nickname users worse than anonymous users, too.
ㄴ IOnlySayNiceThings■ : What are you talking about lol. Every asshole who defends anonymous users uses anonymous sockpuppets.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(125.840) : Bro, stay off the gallery for thirty minutes.
ㄴ WholesomeUsername32■ : Thanks...
Elfride snickered when she saw the anonymous user's comment.
“Yeah, a tactical nuke won't do shit~ I've already blocked your IP~ What are you going to do if I block you?”
No matter how wildly an anonymous user rampaged, once blocked, they could not be seen.
This was an absolute truth of the ■■ Gallery that would never change.
After Elfride had poured out a torrent of hatred toward anonymous users, she spotted a post with a title she liked very much.
[10 Logical Reasons Elves Are Superior to Demons.reason]
“I can't let this one go.”
It was obvious that elves were superior to those black bastards and needed no explanation, but the effort someone had put into finding ten reasons made it worth clicking.
[Poster : ㅇㅇ(144.144)]
[10 Reasons Elves Are Superior to Demons.reason]
(Something so hateful and horrifying it cannot be described in words.jpg)
Hate with hate. Hatred with hatred.
─BOOM!!
“Aaaaaaaaaah! My eyes! Y-you crazy bastard! You're throwing tactical nukes around with a VPN from first thing in the morning!!! Aaaaaaaaaaagh!!”
‘The age of elves is over...’
From Elfride's scream beyond the door, the elder sensed that the elves' service had reached its end.
***
[Today's Fap Material.jpg] - Holy Power Storage Tank■
The title drew me in, and so did the person who posted it, but I didn't click it right away.
The reason was simple.
It was because of a certain post pinned in the gallery announcements.
[Poster ㅇㅇ(100.401)]
[In the gallery, beware provocative titles, jpgs, and anonymous users.]
A post you click absentmindedly might be a tactical nuke.
Always be suspicious, and then be even more suspicious.
ㅇㅇ(122.37) : Be really careful lol
ㄴ Puaeng■ : What happens if you aren't?
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37) : Go ahead and try not being careful. LOL
ㄴ Puaeng■ : Okay, I won't.
Puaeng■ : Please be careful and then be even more careful, please... There is a reason that post is pinned....
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37) : "Treatment complete."
ㄴ Puaeng■ : ...I repent of not being suspicious. I'm amazed at the senior who endured this.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37) : Huh? I didn't get hit—I just looked at it, so I wouldn't know.
ㅇㅇ(218.104) : Fucking bastard, you should've warned me before I looked! Aaaagh!! I feel like I'm going crazy!! I feel like my mind is leaving my body!!!
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37) : Another victim.
ㄴ FlameSandwich■ : What the hell is this tactical nuke everyone is freaking out about? At this point I kind of want to see it.
ㄴㅇㅇ(218.104) : Fuck, fuck, there's really nothing good about knowing. Be grateful you don't know.
VirginExaminer■ : ...vi...r...gin...(an image of a soul leaving the body)
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(100.401) : Examiner bro, you went to check it again... That's professional dedication, GOAT.
ㄴ ILikePeasants■ : As expected of Virgin Examiner.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37) : Your dedication is protecting the gallery's virgins once again today. Thank you.
Even from the notice alone, I could tell that, although it was not anonymous, the post using both ‘
provocative title’
and
‘.jpg
’ was titled ‘
Today's Fap Material.jpg’
and was extremely dangerous.
Besides, the very first post I saw when I logged into the gallery had said this too.
[Poster : MagicalGirlOfJustice■ = Laplace Mayflower]
[Never! Click a post titled Today's Fap Material.jpg!!!!][6]
There are only indecent pictures inside!!! Never click it!!
ILikePeasants■ : Why is she making sense for once? My stomach's been upset for three days since seeing that post.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37) : For real, it's basically a pseudo-tactical nuke, and it's fucking disgusting.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(100.401) : Hmm, is it really that bad...?
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(125.840) : Honestly, calling it a tactical nuke is a bit much. Nothing worse than it will appear before the gallery goes under.
ㄴ ILikePeasants■ : Have you guys even clicked Today's Fap Material? It's genuinely about half a tactical nuke.
ㄴ ㅇㅇ(122.37) : Why would you click it? Do you eat shit because it's better than diarrhea?
Thankfully, I had not experienced a tactical nuke myself yet, but by this point, not clicking it obviously felt like the correct answer.
Actually, I would not have clicked it if the author had not been Lady Yuris Petunia, a candidate to become the next saintess.
But...
'No way a saintess candidate would post something like that, right?'
I wouldn't go so far as to call her an acquaintance, but after spending a year at the academy, I had often seen Lady Yuris's face at the church I attended.
If Yuris was as she appeared to be, never acting conceited despite being a saintess candidate and always reaching out first to people who were struggling...
she would never post anything even remotely close to a tactical nuke.
'...So let's give it a try for now.'
Not taking the risk would keep me safe, but without taking the risk, I couldn't find new fap material.
Trusting the saintess candidate, I clicked the post.
[Poster : HolyPowerStorageTank■ = Yuris Petunia]
[Today's Fap Material.jpg][0]
(A baby-food storage tank overflowing even when held in both hands.jpg)
A baby would starve to death if this were any smaller...
"Sex."
My faith was rewarded.