Chapter 9
Mom was grilling me.
Mom's accusing voice trembled slightly.
…
'If I was going to spill my secret, there was no other time but now...'
There were plenty of ways to get past Mom's accusation.
I could simply lie and say I'd found the account ID and password in the study's research notebook.
Compared to the implausible story that their daughter was actually her advisor's reincarnation, that would be far more believable.
'But.'
Even if I got through this moment with a plausible lie, there was no doubt I'd be doubted again later.
When that happened, I'd have to pile one huge lie on top of another, and the lies would keep growing.
Then I might spend the rest of my life crushed under the cross of guilt for lying to my family.
Just thinking about it made the area around my chest tighten painfully.
'That, I hate...'
“Mom, actually...”
I decided that and told Mom everything I'd been hiding.
That I had been reincarnated carrying Shin I-jun's memories from birth.
“That’s impossible... A-yeon is Professor Shin I-jun’s reincarnation?”
It would normally be an unbelievable story, but.
The fact that her own daughter had logged into the account of a professor she'd never even met became powerful proof.
Mom wore a bewildered expression.
“I wanted to tell you earlier, but... I was scared you'd hate me... I'm sorry... for hiding it all this time...”
I forced the words out.
And because I was afraid to see Mom's reaction, I ran away right there.
“Ah, A-yeon!”
Click-.
I ran to the master bedroom and locked the door.
I was afraid to see Mom's face.
'... I ended up revealing my secret after all.'
My reincarnation was something I'd have to reveal sooner or later.
I didn't want to keep a secret from my dearly beloved family for the rest of my life.
Besides, if I was going to write the paper, I absolutely needed Mom's help, and she had experience.
'I knew that in my head...'
But once it came down to it, Mom's expression wouldn't leave my head.
Shaking pupils. A trembling voice. A flustered expression.
Just imagining that scene made the center of my chest feel tightly constricted.
Shiver-shiver-
I was scared.
Whether I was a genius professor who had solved the Riemann Hypothesis in my past life or an IQ 160 prodigy, right now I was nothing more than a three-year-old kid.
Just a little girl afraid her parents would hate her.
I sat in the dark inner room, hugging my knees and burying my face in them.
✒️✒️✒️
As Han Seol-ae looked through the materials in Professor Shin I-jun's personal cloud that Yoo A-yeon had been viewing, she thought quietly.
Her head was buzzing with too much information.
Shin I-jun.
That name brought many things to mind for Han Seol-ae.
“Professor...”
The first time she stepped into Professor Shin I-jun's lab was through Jin-ho's introduction.
To Seol-ae, who wanted to major in pure mathematics, Jin-ho said,
—Honey, my friend got his PhD in the U.S., came back to Korea, and became a professor. His field is pretty similar to yours. Take a look.
She already knew that friend was Shin I-jun. As her boyfriend's friend, she'd seen him a few times.
At the time, he gave off the impression of being blunt and not very interested in the world around him.
But after looking into his field, she found it was similar to the direction of research she wanted to pursue.
She applied for the interview right away.
And she spent two years in the master's program as Professor Shin I-jun's only student.
He was a good person.
Whenever she sent him a draft, he would read it carefully and give her specific feedback.
It was a field that didn't receive government funding, so the pay was low, but he still negotiated with the university to squeeze out as much salary as he could for her.
On the day she was preparing for an overseas conference presentation, he stayed up all night with her even though he didn't need to.
When she chose childcare over going on to a PhD, he encouraged her, saying she hadn't made the wrong choice.
And then.
Three months after graduation, news of his death arrived.
When she went to the funeral home with her husband and stood before the portrait, Seol-ae burst into tears.
"... Our A-yeon."
Seol-ae quietly closed her eyes and pictured Yoo A-yeon.
Scenes from the day she was born up to the present flashed through her mind.
Feeding her milk. Changing her diaper. Bathing her. Changing her clothes. Helping her with her first steps. Helping her say her first words. Whenever there was a spare moment, begging for head pats. Sneaking into the study. Going for an IQ test. Kicking her feet while reading books. Teaching her little sister Arin to say unnie.
'A-yeon was Professor Shin I-jun's reincarnation...?'
It was hard to believe.
But her mind had already accepted it.
There was too much evidence.
The fact that she answered instantly to questions no child should have known, got a perfect score on the IQ test, asked strangely sharp questions while reading math journals, and logged into the professor's account no one could access.
If Yoo A-yeon was Professor Shin I-jun's reincarnation, everything was explained.
Seol-ae exhaled slowly.
The professor she respected had reincarnated as her daughter.
It was a proposition that felt unreal.
But it was reality.
…
How much time had passed?
The clock pointed to evening.
No sound came from beyond the master bedroom where A-yeon had locked herself in.
A-yeon must be waiting inside right now.
What expression was she sitting there with?
Was she scared?
Was she crying?
Having sorted out her feelings, Seol-ae opened her eyes.
✒️✒️✒️
That evening, Yoo Jin-ho returned home.
His wife said in a serious voice that they should have a family meeting.
The serious mood made him swallow unconsciously.
Once they sat down at the table, his wife calmly told them that A-yeon was Shin I-jun's reincarnation.
Including the laptop screen showing that it was logged into Shin I-jun's personal account.
Honestly, he was so shocked his brain wasn't working properly.
Shin I-jun.
I first met him as a roommate in the dormitory during our first year at science high school.
My first impression was that he was a blunt, boring kid, but once we started eating together, he turned out to be more fun than I expected. That was the start of it.
We both studied hard and went to college together.
I-jun was in mathematical sciences, and I was in statistics.
Our majors were different, but we shared the same College of Natural Sciences building, so we saw each other often.
When our free periods overlapped, we'd have lunch together, and we even once prepared for math competitions together.
After graduation, I got a job and I-jun went to the U.S. for his PhD.
We kept in touch pretty often, checking in on each other about how we were doing and whether we'd eaten.
Then I heard that I-jun had come back to Korea and become a professor.
And since my girlfriend was also majoring in pure mathematics, I recommended Professor Shin I-jun, the most passionate, decent person I knew.
When Seol-ae said she'd been accepted to graduate school, Jin-ho thought it was good news. He was a trustworthy guy.
And then I-jun died.
The cause of death was a heart attack.
I still remember the day I got the call that he had died.
I stared blankly at the wall and was so down for a while that I couldn't even eat properly.
It was hard to imagine a world without that guy.
He always felt like he'd be somewhere.
I thought that even if the world fell apart, he'd still be somewhere in a lab, looking over a paper.
That's why, when it came time to name my daughter, I wanted to borrow some of I-jun's luck.
That I-jun...
had reincarnated as my daughter.
“You’re not joking, are you?”
“I’m not joking.”
“...”
I was dumbfounded.
I had no idea how I was supposed to take this.
Could it be that the reason was I-jun naming her A-yeon?
There is a legend that the act of naming creates a link between souls.
Because he had named his own daughter, could he have been reborn as his own daughter after dying?
It was enough to make that occult-sounding way of thinking feel persuasive.
My head hurt.
But Jin-ho was never the kind of person who overthought complicated things.
Jin-ho, now with too many thoughts in his head, shook his head and quickly came to a conclusion.
It was the same conclusion as his wife's.
✒️✒️✒️
How long had I been sitting there with my knees hugged to my chest?
“A-yeon. Come out for a second? We need to talk.”
Mom called to me.
“...”
Creak-.
I managed to open the door.
Mom and Dad were sitting at the table with serious expressions.
I took the empty seat at the table.
A suffocating silence hung in the air.
“A-yeon.”
Mom called to me.
“Yeah.”
“You were scared, weren't you?”
Mom slowly reached out and gently wrapped my hand in hers.
My trembling hand calmed down.
“Mom was very surprised too. Honestly, my head is still a mess.”
“...”
“But you know, A-yeon.”
Mom looked steadily into my eyes.
“From the day A-yeon was born until now, Mom has never, not once, stopped being A-yeon's mom.”
I clenched my hand tightly.
“I remember A-yeon making a happy face while nursing, I remember supporting her when she took her first steps, I remember her kicking the blanket excitedly while reading, and I remember her setting aside her favorite books to play with Arin. That was all the real A-yeon. Even if A-yeon had once been someone else, that time doesn't become a lie.”
The warmth passed through our clasped hands.
“Even if you have Professor Shin I-jun's memories, the A-yeon in front of me doesn't change. Past-life memories are just past-life memories. They don't change the family we've shared until now.”
Tears poured out in a flood.
I tried to hold back, but I just couldn't.
“Sob... hic... waaaah...!”
Mom pulled me into her arms.
I buried my face in Mom's embrace.
“Dad was the same. The day A-yeon was born, the way she grabbed the finger I held out, the way she smiled when I gave her an airplane ride, the way she grabbed Dad's pant leg and asked for books. All of it was real A-yeon.”
Dad said with a gentle smile.
“Whether there are someone else's past-life memories in A-yeon's head or not. She's just a daughter with a bit of individuality. What parent wouldn't love a daughter just because she's a little unique?”
Then he gently covered my head with his palm.
“We both went to I-jun's funeral and cried our eyes out. We accepted that I-jun was no longer in this world. A-yeon isn't I-jun. She's just a cute little girl.”
“Yeah, that's right. She's just our daughter. Our A-yeon.”
“Sniffle... sniffle...”
Dad chuckled and messed up my hair.
✒️✒️✒️
After dinner.
I sat alone in my room staring at the ceiling and had a wave of post-embarrassment clarity.
'Haah... I'm so embarrassed...'
At three years old, I'd let my emotions get the better of me and bawled my eyes out.
I, Yoo A-yeon.
A prodigy with an IQ of 160.
After my third birthday, I'd resolved to seal away my tears.
The seal failed.
I wanted to die of embarrassment.
Pitter-patter-
Just then, Arin, who had woken up, walked over.
“Unnie, hug me-.”
Yoo Arin, 16 months old.
By now, Arin could walk around to some extent and even string together certain word combinations.
“Later... Unnie's kind of mixed up right now.”
“Aahh-. Hug me-! Hug me-!”
That meant she was at the age where she was starting to throw serious tantrums.
Whether she knew I was in a bad mood or not, Arin clung to me even more enthusiastically.
She's adorable when she says unnie so well...
But could you be a little more considerate of your unnie's feelings?
“Okay, okay! I'll hug you!”
Squeeze-.
“Hehe, I like my unnie.”
“Honestly...”
Arin loved being held by her unnie like this.
Ever since she was a baby, whenever Arin cried I'd hold her hand and hug her, so I guess it became a habit.
“There, there...”
Strangely enough, the moment I hugged Arin, the fog clouding my mind began to clear little by little as well.
After satisfying Arin and sending her off, I gathered my thoughts.
'Yeah. In the end, everything settled down nicely, didn't it? There's no point fretting over the past. What's important now is...'
Now that my family knew I had reincarnated, there was nothing left to hold back.
This was the time to write a paper proving the Riemann Hypothesis.
Having steeled my resolve, I walked up to Mom, who was washing the dishes in the kitchen, and shouted.
“Mom!”
“Hm?”
“Mom, help me write my paper!”