Chapter 27
Kim Gyeoul bowed deeply to me as soon as she saw me.
Because she'd been helping out around our house, this was already the fourth time she'd come by herself. So welcoming her like this isn't all that awkward, but...
How should I put it? I can't help wondering whether it's really right for an unmarried man and woman to be greeting each other this way.
“Congratulations on returning safely after getting through the myeonsinrye. From what Dolsoe said, it seems you didn't go through anything too terrible, which is truly a relief.”
Joseon's myeonsinrye is hell itself. Compared to that, even the senior from my college MT days who used to throw his weight around and grind down his juniors like some guerrilla-training instructor would be an angel.
According to the Annals of King Seongjong, when a second-rank Dochonggwan first arrived at his office, he ordered a gwonji (an intern who had just passed the exam) to keep calling him by name without any honorifics until the myeonsinrye was over, and he even threatened everyone at the post that unless they treated him to a feast so lavish it would make the table legs buckle, things would turn ugly.
If you couldn't get through that, the military officers all practically sang in unison that it was legal for a Dochonggwan-level commander to be ostracized in the army, so that said enough. I braced myself and reported to the office too, but in the end I was glad it didn't happen.
The problem was the ministers grabbing me and tormenting me.
“Because the Vice Chief Scholar looked kindly on me, I didn't have to go through anything so awful.”
“That's truly a relief.”
I sympathize a hundred, a thousand times over. The harshest myeonsinrye is usually reserved for those who have just passed the exam... so the one I'd have to endure probably wouldn't have been the sort that actually killed someone.
But from everyone else's point of view, except the ministers, I am an invasive species that disrupts the ecosystem. I passed the civil service exam at eighteen and became a sixth-rank official before I even turned twenty.
Depending on your exam ranking, ordinary officials don't reach the junior sixth rank until they're forty, so... out of jealousy alone, they might have worked me so hard I'd have wanted to die.
Thinking about that, being worked like GPT by the ministers of the Six Ministries seems a million times better. For today, at least.
“Instead, the ministerial lords of the Six Ministries brought me every kind of difficult problem. Minister Hwang (Hwang Hui) asked if there was a good way to establish market fairs in every county nationwide, and Minister Heo (Heo Jo) asked how we should solve the problem of exam passers clustering only in Hanyang.”
I have never had a single romantic relationship. I was a lifelong single in Korea, and even after coming to Joseon, I haven't dated at all.
For a little over forty years combined between my past life and my time in Joseon, I've never even properly talked to a woman my age. I'm that hopelessly awkward guy.
So at first, even talking to Kim Gyeoul was hard. But maybe beauty really does have the power to change a man.
Kim Gyeoul listens with interest to whatever I say and even responds appropriately, so...
...though it may still be hard to talk with other women, with Kim Gyeoul I've somehow come to naturally open up even about my private matters.
Is this what happens when men get taken in by an especially gentle young woman?
Honestly, having such a beautiful conversational partner nearby in Hanyang, far from home, who listens so well to me is nice, but...
“I keep worrying about how Kim Gyeoul herself feels...”
“Earlier, my father said that if you put an awl in your pocket, it will eventually poke through and come out, meaning that a person of fine character and outstanding ability will naturally reveal and prove himself. Since you have greatly benefited the people of Jinhae County, I think the various lords recognize you and ask you about important matters without hesitation.”
That's such an exemplary answer. If I weren't someone itching to submit a resignation memorial and become a free man right away, I think her words would have comforted me a great deal.
No, the fact that the speaker is a beauty and that even the words themselves are so lovely makes me want to resign as soon as possible, but for some reason... it even makes me think that staying in office for another five years or so to help Joseon develop might not be so bad.
Is this why they say a man has to meet the right woman? Depending on which woman he meets, the limits of how much he can bring out his abilities can shrink or expand.
“I know it's presumptuous for a mere woman from a merchant family to say this, but as far as I know, every government official is said to go through a harsh initiation hazing.”
“That's true...”
The higher the rank, the less severe the abuse gets. So they probably wouldn't have made me, a junior sixth-rank official, wade into sewage and pretend to go fishing.
But they probably would have mixed up bomb drinks and made me down about two doe (3.6 liters) of it, then ordered me to do ridiculous clown-like antics.
Or maybe it would have ended with making me spend a huge amount of money to treat the entire office and forcing everyone into a rough 'speak informally' session.
Or maybe, because I was already a sixth-rank official and that annoyed them, they might have gone all-out with insane hazing under the pretense of teaching the rude young newcomer a lesson.
“From the fact that the Vice Chief Scholar of Jiphyeonjeon recognized you as a member of Jiphyeonjeon without any myeonsinrye, it seems the court has very high expectations of you, sir. So while handling the flood of state affairs will surely be especially exhausting and difficult, in the end it will turn into something that benefits countless people, just as it did in Jinhae. Please, do your best.”
“I'm truly grateful you said that. I already feel like I have the energy to work hard tomorrow too.”
“Thank you for saying so.”
Kim Gyeoul gave me a bright smile. It was so dazzling it might not be good for my heart.
I worried she might hear my hammering heartbeat, but if a man has made up his mind, he has to say what he needs to say.
“...... If you're only coming because of Mandeok's orders, there's no need to trouble yourself to come all this way.”
At my words, Kim Gyeoul tilted her head.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Exactly what I said. If Mandeok hadn't ordered it, you wouldn't be dropping by the home of a man who hasn't even turned twenty yet.”
Romance among commoners in Joseon is very ambiguous from a modern point of view. Most of the local boys and girls naturally met the person their parents chose for them and got married...
...but even among them, about one in ten couples did end up marrying after falling in love. The circumstances of a well-off merchant household, like Kim Mandeok's, would be different from ordinary commoners anyway.
Still, things like the yangban rule that boys and girls over seven shouldn't sit together, or that a woman shouldn't even talk at length with an unrelated man, might not have applied...
'They must have been extremely cautious about women meeting men.'
And if a young lady who came by our house to help with the chores had been from a yangban family, I'd have had to marry her right away.
But because Kim Gyeoul is from a merchant family, it's ambiguous enough that no one says anything.
So if Kim Mandeok sees me as the "savior of the household" but orders Gyeoul to stay away a little, she would drift away without leaving the slightest trace. Then I'd really feel heartbroken and lonely...
Love isn't something that happens just because I want it to. Even after living nineteen years in Joseon, I still don't understand this part. It's probably just because I'm a lifelong single and have no confidence in anything.
“...... I don't know what you think, sir, but I don't mind coming to your home.”
“...Is that so?”
“Since I was born, aside from my father and you, sir, there have been no men with whom I've had such deep conversations. I also have female friends I can truly call companions. When I was in Jinhae, we used to swing together on Dano, and on Buddha's Birthday we would walk around the pagoda. We also went up into the mountains to play whenever the day allowed it.”
It was said that swinging on Dano and walking around the pagoda on the eighth day of the fourth lunar month were events that even the young ladies of Joseon's yangban households, whose outings were severely restricted, could freely take part in.
Also, among commoners, who didn't have to worry about political marriages and such, all sorts of things happened on those days.
“Among the friends I was close with, Hyesuk and Myeongjin have already married into other counties. I still vividly remember meeting them before they got married and bawling my eyes out as we said goodbye.”
In Joseon times, weddings were often held when neither the man nor the woman knew the other's face at all. Well, there were some loopholes where they were secretly given a chance to talk for a moment, though in truth it was arranged on purpose.
In any case, it wasn't unusual for a 15-year-old virgin to be married off to a 50-year-old husband without even knowing what he looked like.
“In the letters we exchanged when I was in Jinhae, Hyesuk said that her husband does sleep with her in hopes of producing an heir, but beyond that he gives her absolutely no attention. She says her tears of sorrow never dry.”
A look of pity filled Kim Gyeoul's face.
“Myeongjin said that after her formerly close husband failed the civil service exam, he turned into someone who is always angry, and he even says that the reason he failed was because he married the wrong wife, which made her suffer terribly. He even said he wanted to die. But unlike my friends' husbands, you always listen to what I say, and you always thank me even when I help with little things around the house. So I've never once felt that coming to your house is hard.”
By the late Joseon period, they had bound women with thoroughly male-centered rules like saying the wife should not be jealous when her husband takes a concubine, and the doctrine of the seven grounds for divorce. And when the main wife became pregnant, they even taught that urging the husband to take a concubine was proper feminine virtue.
The human heart and emotions are the same then and now, aren't they?
“Then that's a relief. And on the way here...”
I took out the norigae I had tucked into my sleeve and handed it to her.
“If it hadn't been for you, Gyeoul, my life in Hanyang would have been much harder. So I bought a norigae that would suit you to express my gratitude.”
This is the sort of thing that doesn't fit Joseon sensibilities. Usually, something like this should be picked at random by sending a servant...
A sixth-rank official going out personally to choose and bring it back himself... yeah, that really doesn't make sense.
But Kim Gyeoul accepted it without raising any particular question.
“Lord Suchan.”
It's hard to say it myself, and the words don't come easily, but since I have to say it, I will.
“If you don't dislike it, please come often from now on too. I draw great comfort from your visits, Gyeoul.”
“Thank you, sir... It's late at night, so I'll take my leave now.”
After saying that in a hurry, Kim Gyeoul sprang to her feet.
Her face looked a little flushed; was that just because of the candlelight?
Anyway, let's work hard again tomorrow.
**
After leaving Kim Daebung's house, Kim Gyeoul's face was bright red, as if she were a ripe persimmon.
She could also feel her own heart pounding wildly. It was almost impossible to control.
“Why is this happening...?”
If a woman from Kim Daebung's time were to meet the present-day Kim Gyeoul, she would have kindly told her: you're in love.
But there was no one to tell Kim Gyeoul that.
“It's not that I dislike Lord Suchan...”
He's also quite handsome, and always kind to everyone. He remembers even the servants' birthdays and gives them plenty of rice and liquor, telling them to rest with their families on those days.
Just three days ago, when Dolsoe, the servant at his house, said he was sick, he called for a skilled doctor, had medicine prepared, and then let him rest well.
If marriage is something you have to do according to your father's orders... then I found myself thinking that someone as gentle as Lord Suchan would be nice.
He wouldn't be someone who'd be cruel to me, either.
As I kept thinking about it, I started imagining how much he would cherish me if I became his woman.
“Who else in all of Joseon would treat a woman like me that kindly?”
Since Father keeps sending me to Kim Daebung's house, if Kim Daebung ever wants me, he could untie my ribbons whenever he wants.
It was already implicitly permitted.
Kim Daebung knew that too, but he was just pretending not to know out of respect for Kim Gyeoul's will.
Even so, Kim Gyeoul couldn't refuse.
Because what the head of the household decides is absolute.
“Even though you seem to be fond of me, you still hold yourself back and think of my feelings. Our Lord Suchan is such a kind man.”
His goodwill and thoughtfulness felt extremely precious to Kim Gyeoul. On top of that, even when she did small things for him, he always thanked her...
And today, he even personally went to the market to pick out a norigae for her.
“You probably don't realize it, sir, but the more you pay attention to me, the more I fall for you...”
Kim Gyeoul returned to the house her father had newly established in Hanyang with light steps.
And even after getting into bed, she couldn't calm the fluttering in her heart and tossed and turned for a long time.