Chapter 79
The military is an organization where, no matter the era, if you're told to do it, you do it.
You also have to believe that simply hanging up a bell that makes everyone smile whenever it rings would somehow solve all 'barracks corruption' and create a happy barracks where everyone is content.
It was also an organization where, if some lowly sergeant warned a private that mixing rice into soup was a serious breach of discipline, then even if that private later broke the rule and the company gathered the soldiers below his rank to chew them out to death, it would still be the private's fault.
Therefore, even in the Chungmu Guard, if the Minister of War told them to do it, it was an order they couldn't make sense of with their own heads—but what could they do? They had to obey.
Daejeong Kim Han-mo of the Chungmu Guard was now hearing an order that, by his own common sense, made no sense.
"The Minister of War has ordered that all troops bathe once every three days, and before eating, they must wash their hands thoroughly with water. In addition, they must wash their uniforms once every seven days, and the barracks where the soldiers live must always be kept clean."
A lowly Daejeong (a platoon-level officer, former soldier) couldn't argue with or defy the orders of a Tongjang (battalion-level officer).
No, this was an order issued by the Minister of War himself; if he dared to resist it, something very unfortunate would happen.
So even if this was the sort of command that came out of nowhere, he had no choice but to obey.
Besides, it wasn't even an order to send the soldiers off to die; it was just telling him to suffer a little more with them. What else could he do?
If he wanted the stipend that let him keep serving as a Daejeong, keep his wife and children fed, and eat rice, he had to grit his teeth and see it through.
"The Minister of War has also issued strict orders not to apply military punishment for failing to comply with this troublesome command. So no one's head will roll for breaking it."
Then the Tongjang paused for a moment before speaking in a stern voice.
"However, if you disobey and fail to wash properly, and only our Chungmu Guard ends up with colds, fevers, or other diseases, then the Grand General will have no face to meet His Majesty."
If the Grand General lost face before His Majesty, they would be the ones left to clean up the aftermath.
Not only would all kinds of harsh training continue, but a terrifying top-down dressing-down would also follow.
Even Kim Han-mo, who had only been able to rise to this post by working a hundred times harder than anyone else when he was just a conscripted common soldier, could end up being stripped of his post...
He thought he would have to wash the soldiers even if it killed him.
"I won't waste words."
The Tongjang declared it while looking at the company commanders and daejeong under his command.
"By 5 p.m. today, clean every building, including the barracks where the soldiers sleep and the kitchen, and have all their uniforms washed and their bodies washed as well. If, after 5 p.m. today, my eyes see even one person who has failed to carry out this simple order, I will immediately imprint loyalty and patriotism into their body and mind."
In other words, if they didn't want to die, they had to immediately crack down on the soldiers and make them clean and handle hygiene.
Kim Han-mo answered with a rigid, parade-stiff posture.
"Yes, sir, Tongjang-nari!"
**
Daejeong Kim Han-mo went looking for the soldiers who were eating and napping in the barracks because it was a day off.
The other Daejeong were mostly Gapsa by background, so when they saw soldiers loafing around like this, they'd at least make them cut grass.
Since he came from the soldier ranks himself, he knew all too well the hardships and misery of military service, so on most days off he let everyone rest except those on duty.
But now was not the time for that, so he kicked open the door to the room where the soldiers were staying.
"Wake up! Get up right now!"
At the command to get up, everyone sprang to their feet and sat up, and the oldest soldier among them jumped up and asked,
"Daejeong-nari, what on earth is going on?"
"Right now, get up and start washing everything—starting with the blankets and pillows you're sleeping on, all the way to your clothes—and start cleaning!"
"...... But it's still clean. What are you talking about?"
The room did have a fair amount of dust, and old grime had built up here and there.
But by Joseon standards, this was clean enough.
Unless the regimental commander came to inspect them, ordering them to clean a room this clean would be unthinkable.
"Could some high-ranking official be coming to inspect us?"
"The Minister of War personally issued the order directly to the Grand General."
The soldiers' faces turned deathly pale.
It was like the Minister of War himself directly issuing an order to a division commander, which meant the division commander had been handed a matter serious enough to make him see red.
In a situation this grave, even the slightest mistake could get them flogged, and they couldn't help thinking that far.
Even if they didn't get flogged, they didn't even want to imagine what other horrible thing might happen.
"Mak-dong's squad, Dong-soo's squad—right now, pull the straw stuffing out of the quilts and pillows first, then take off the clothes you're wearing and go wash them at the nearby stream. The rest of you sweep and scrub the barracks, the kitchen, and the yard until they're spotless!"
"Yes, sir."
"If we slack off even a little, we're all dead! Dead!"
The Tongjang's official rank was junior 7th rank.
One step up from there would make him a chamsanggwan, but because he'd once received a single 'haha' on his last performance review, he had slipped in the promotion race.
All his fellow martial-exam classmates had long since become chamsanggwan, and only he had failed to be promoted...
He had piled up so much sorrow and resentment that he was as bitter as a maiden ghost who died without ever marrying.
A man like that getting a top-down dressing-down starting with the Grand General?
There was no way to even predict what would happen.
"Start cleaning!"
Having said that, Kim Han-mo found a broom, grabbed it, and took the lead, starting to sweep.
Because it was a menial post, he was really only a half-fledged military officer, but since he was officially a rank-holding martial official, he had always managed to stay out of all manual chores.
When such a man personally picked up a broom and started sweeping, the soldiers couldn't possibly slack off.
Even Ojang Dong-soo, fifty years old and conscripted as a regular soldier, who found everything a pain, had no choice but to grip his broom tightly and sweep like his life depended on it.
"Not a single speck of dust is allowed to remain! Sweep it all away, not one speck left!"
Was it because Kim Han-mo personally led the cleaning? The space used by the troops under his command quickly regained the look it had when the building had just been built.
If this had been his own house, he might have felt proud... but this was the military.
So instead of feeling proud, everyone silently prayed that their superiors wouldn't nitpick the state of the cleaning.
Because if they did, a time so hard it would feel like death would follow.
"Now go draw water from the well near our barracks!"
"Yes, sir. But why are you telling us to draw water?"
"From now on, we will wash our bodies."
In Joseon, there was no custom of bathing on a regular basis.
So washing your body usually meant only things like bathing during Chuseok or Seollal, or taking a dip in the stream or having a back rinse to beat the heat... so people washed only very rarely.
In winter, it was fair to say they almost never washed at all.
"What's so dirty about our bodies that we need to wash?"
"It's the Minister of War's order. Hurry and tear up enough of the cloth received as tax payment to match the number of men. We need to soak the cloth in warm water and wipe our bodies with it."
As Kim Daebung was setting up the hygiene policy, he would have liked nothing more than to build bathtubs for bathing and have everyone wash up...
But because of Joseon's many practical constraints, it was still difficult to make anything like a public bathhouse.
Supplying the water people needed for washing was no easy task, and finding firewood to heat it was no small matter either.
And since showering was even less of an option, the best way to keep the body clean was naturally to wipe it down with a wet cloth.
"Yes, Daejeong-nari."
And then Kim Han-mo gave a demonstration, scrubbing the soldiers' bodies as if he were possessed by some ghost that had died from filth.
Naturally, his own body was scrubbed just as hard.
He got cleaner than he ever did from the occasional back rinse or bath.
And with lye-soaked cloths, black filthy runoff poured off their bodies.
Kim Han-mo and the soldiers were speechless when they saw it.
"...... My God, were we this dirty?"
The soldiers and officers assigned to Joseon's central army unit, the Shipsa, all felt much the same after bathing according to the guidelines.
And once thorough hygiene management was introduced, the Shipsa could stay safe from various waterborne epidemics that used to break out now and then.
Through all this, the reputation of Minister of War Jo Mal-saeng, who had listened to Kim Daebung's story of 'weird powers and strange spirits' and pushed it through, shot sky-high.
**
Jo Mal-saeng's gaze on me is very sticky.
It's extremely uncomfortable.
"Our Kim Jeongrang, if you keep working so hard like that, you'll wear your body out. Unless it's something very urgent, why don't we have some ginseng jeonggwa together and rest for a bit?"
"Thank you, my lord."
Joseon's ginseng jeonggwa wasn't a sugar-sweetened ginseng confection; it was made with honey.
Honey plus ginseng made it an incredibly expensive health snack.
"You should have finished everything assigned to you by now, so what on earth were you doing?"
"It was nothing much. I was just about to submit a memorial."
"Ho ho, if you ever need my help, just say so anytime. What sort of relationship do Kim Jeongrang and I have?"
"...... We're boss and subordinate, aren't we?"
He's talking so stickily, like some girl asking, 'What are Oppa and I to each other?'
Has this guy lost his mind now that he's being named the likeliest promotion candidate for Uijeong Daesin among the current ministers of the Six Ministries?
"Thank you, my lord."
"By the way, Kim Jeongrang, you really don't seem to have any ambition for promotion, do you?"
"If I work hard, won't promotion come naturally?"
After hearing me, Jo Mal-saeng asked a curious question.
"If I rise to one of the three chief minister posts, would you come with me to the State Council?"