Stirring Up Trouble in Ming (3)

The road to Ming was truly grueling.

If we had gone by ship, it would have taken only three or four days, but because of Ming's diplomatic policy, we had to make the journey on foot.

The trip took forever, and the roads we passed through were unbelievably rough, so it was really hard.

Still, holding on with sheer grit and the thought that this, too, would pass, our delegation was finally able to arrive at the Forbidden City in Beijing.

I wanted nothing more than to collapse onto a bed and rest, but there was still a very important task we had to take care of first.

“I, your servant, Maeng Sa-seong, Minister of Personnel of Joseon, have come by order of King Yi Do of Joseon as both a congratulatory envoy and a condolence envoy, to mourn the passing of the late emperor and to celebrate the accession of the new emperor.”

Even in Joseon, in most cases, a minister wouldn't know much about the king's condition.

So there was no way a foreign country like Ming would tip off Joseon with something like, 'Our emperor is going to die soon.'

They feared Joseon might use that to pull some scheme on Ming.

Thus, it was impossible for Joseon to predict when the emperor would die.

If you followed the rules to the letter, you had to send an envoy once when the emperor kicked the bucket and once when a new emperor ascended the throne.

But since they were the ones keeping the information hidden, it was impossible for us to send two missions in that tiny window between the emperor's death and the new emperor's enthronement...

Ming even recommended that, when sending a congratulatory mission to celebrate the new emperor's accession (since a new emperor generally means the previous one has died), you should also handle the role of a condolence envoy.

'What a tear-jerkingly considerate gesture.'

The emperor seated on the throne offered words of comfort to our delegation.

“It is an undeniable fact that all things under heaven, all scholarship, and all moral principles arose from Zhonghua. Yet the remnants of the Northern Yuan and the Jurchens still do not follow the order of Zhonghua; having cast aside morality, they delight only in killing and plundering. The Japanese are likewise busy committing atrocities by raiding Ming's coasts, and have no thought whatsoever of embracing the splendid culture of Great Ming. And yet they call themselves the emperor of the land where the sun rises—how ridiculous is that.”

Even in the 21st century, Chinese people still think they're the best in the world.

They're so intoxicated by their own greatness.

Some of them even genuinely believe that if they talk loudly in Chinese at tourist spots like Myeong-dong, the border barbarians called Koreans will be intimidated by China's 'majesty.'

And on their social media, the story is widely spread that Korean women greatly revere Chinese culture.

But this was an era when Ming was undeniably regarded as the world's strongest power, so if someone stepped up and said, 'That's not true,' only the speaker's mouth would end up hurting.

And that bastard, the Xuande Emperor, shamelessly saying such things is proof of it.

“Everything good came from Ming?”

And those bastards even accepted the barbaric custom of burial sacrifice wholesale, burying people alive?

“By contrast, Joseon, though one of the Dongi, the eastern barbarians, and not part of Zhonghua, has observed propriety and humbled itself to accept Zhonghua's learning, and so may well be called a nation where courtesy lives on. I welcome the Joseon envoys from the Land of Courtesy in the East.”

If you really think about it, the phrase 'Land of Eastern Courtesy' isn't actually a compliment.

Among Western historians, when you look at the Zhonghua order, it can be considered an imperialist order centered on Ming.

There are cases that view the states incorporated into it and paying tribute as being the same as colonies.

In other words, they're treated as colonies without being directly ruled.

So 'the country of courtesy' really means 'Ming colony No. 1.'

Maeng Sa-seong offered his thanks to the emperor after hearing those words.

“Your grace is overwhelming, Your Majesty.”

“My late imperial father also left a final instruction to always guard against the northern barbarians and the southern Japanese pirates, but to treat Joseon benevolently as a vassal state. So when you return, tell King Yi Do of Joseon exactly what I have said.”

People often say that tributary diplomacy was a deal that benefited Joseon.

But that view has a major flaw.

During King Taejo Yi Seong-gye's reign, Ming didn't hesitate to make all kinds of absurd demands, squeezing people like a loan shark slapping on a seizure notice, and even in Sejong's time it demanded massive tribute in a way that benefited Ming alone.

The tributary diplomacy and tribute trade we commonly think of as Joseon just getting all the sweet advantages only began after the Jungjong Coup, once Ming became convinced that Joseon wasn't a particularly strong country.

That bastard has already declared, 'I won't touch you Joseon folks,' so now it's time to start shaking him down for money.

“If Joseon is a vassal state, then it should naturally pay tribute and serve its lord. King Yi Do of Joseon must, as before, offer tribute including tribute women, eunuchs, warhorses, gold and silver, and the like. I will receive them and repay you handsomely.”

That bastard will keep his word.

The problem is that, by their standards, 'repaying generously' always means Joseon comes out at a loss.

In Joseon, if it takes about 1 billion won to prepare all the tribute to send to Ming, then by Ming's standards it would only take about 100 million won to prepare tribute of the level Joseon presents.

So from Ming's point of view, giving Joseon only about 300 million won worth of luxury goods would count as an absurdly generous repayment.

The emperor gets a two-for-one benefit: he preserves Ming's prestige while also weakening Joseon's national strength. That's the problem.

“You must have had a hard time coming such a long way, so go and rest off your travel fatigue.”

“Your grace is overwhelming.”

Overwhelming, my ass—now that I was here and facing that emperor bastard's mug, I only felt my guts boiling even more.

It felt like the final nail in the coffin of my resolve to tear China apart by any means necessary.

Because of those sons of bitches, in Joseon every year dozens, even hundreds, of families suffer the agony of seeing their daughters sold off to Ming.

How immense must that grief and resentment be?

As a 21st-century Korean, I will never forgive these bastards.

They say that a gentleman's revenge is not late even if it takes ten years, so I, who am not even a gentleman, will surely take revenge even if I have to wait ten years—no, twenty.

'I came all this way for revenge.'

**

Some people also call a diplomat this.

In the 21st century, someone who can boldly show their face and openly say they can spy in that country.

Our Joseon delegation is similar.

As envoys, we are here for the boundless prosperity and glory of Joseon.

Naturally, it was important to pry out as much information as possible about internal Ming affairs.

Well, the chief envoy, deputy envoy, secretary, and interpreter-level people were all under surveillance, so it was hard to obtain truly important top-secret information and the like.

Even just finding out who the key people were and who to flatter would count as a major achievement.

So I decided to put aside every last shred of pride and gather as much information as possible to prepare for the day I would take revenge on Ming.

“Thanks to Your Lordship keeping a good eye on the Joseon delegation, I haven't had even a bout of stomach trouble since coming here to Ming.”

“For someone who came as Joseon's seojanggwan to speak so politely even to a lowly eunuch like me... there's no need for that. Please, dispense with it.”

Joseon was a nominal vassal state of Ming.

As a result, Joseon's court ranks were not recognized at the same level in Ming.

Under the ideungchegang rule, ranks are lowered by two grades.

If someone is Jeong 1-pum in Joseon, you can think of them as being treated as a Jeong 3-pum official in Ming.

Ming's 'Jeonbu' position is equivalent to rank 6, so even I, who am treated as a Jong 7-pum under Ming's scale, am technically below this fellow in rank.

But since this guy is a eunuch, his actual treatment is much lower.

So he's telling me not to use honorifics, I suppose.

But eunuchs are the kind who, having lost their manhood, go crazy over power and money instead...

When I bowed and came at him like this, I couldn't hide the smile at the corners of my mouth.

“Joseon is a vassal state of Great Ming, and aren't you someone who serves His Majesty directly? So it would be strange for me not to respect you, as a retainer of Great Ming's retainer.”

“Heh, if you put it that way, I can't help it. And to think Joseon has a subject who treats Great Ming so respectfully—if His Imperial Majesty found out, he would surely be delighted.”

That castrated bastard serves the emperor directly.

Giving this guy a bribe would be the same as Kim Daebung paying tribute money because he wanted to curry favor with the emperor.

Flattery was the same.

Other Joseon officials don't go so far as to flatter eunuchs, but I can.

For the sake of causing mayhem in Ming.

“And this is a small token of my regard for you, sir.”

“No, I really don't need something like this...”

Even as he said that, the eunuch's hand reached out and took the gift.

When he saw what was inside, the eunuch's eyes went as wide as saucers.

“Isn't this ginseng?”

Ginseng is widely used as a tonic for yang energy—that is, as an aphrodisiac.

So you might think giving this to a eunuch would be seen as insulting the castrated bastard...

But Joseon ginseng is a top-grade medicine highly prized everywhere in Ming.

In other words, a single piece of this has the same value as a gold bar.

Just as there's no one in this world who hates gold, there's no way a eunuch would hate ginseng.

"Please accept it. And there's a rumor I've heard: I was told there's a eunuch in the palace who can read and write well."

"Ah, you're talking about that Wang Jin fellow? Unlike the rest of us eunuchs, who can't read, he seems to know letters very well, probably because he used to serve as an instructor at the county school... And he's not arrogant either, very good at serving his superiors. I hear the low-ranking eunuchs even call him Teacher."

A smile formed at the corners of my mouth when I heard that.

Back when that bastard Zhu Yuanzhang was alive, if a eunuch could write even a single character, he would be torn apart and killed on the spot.

That was because Zhu Yuanzhang absolutely loathed eunuchs getting involved in politics.

But the current Xuande Emperor has gone blind with the notion of strengthening imperial power through eunuchs, to the point that he even tolerates literate eunuchs and lets them be called 'teacher.'

"Is that so?"

"Indeed. It was something I couldn't even imagine when I first came to the palace. When the Great Ancestor (Zhu Yuanzhang) was alive, he would tear eunuchs apart and kill them as treacherous minions simply because they knew how to write even one character."

This time, I handed the eunuch a fan made in Joseon.

After unfolding the fan, the eunuch seemed pleased with the bribe and said something with a hidden meaning to me.

"It's truly good to know Joseon has splendid officials like you. I will be sure to pass your story along to the grand eunuchs."

Through the grand eunuch, my story would naturally reach the emperor as well.

As a vassal who knew how to bow his head properly to Ming.

With this, I'd be classified as a pro-Ming faction member, I suppose.

Of course, since I hate Ming, I had no intention of doing Ming any favors.

As soon as the eunuch left, I went straight to meet Maeng Sa-seong.

To deliver some good news.