Illegal Resident (14)

-Well then, and now for today's top stories!

-A massive earthquake shook all of Magitera last night! Citizens, did you feel it? Yes, I'm talking about that exact moment when the desk shook, cups shattered, and your boss said, "Work still has to continue"!

-Magitera's City Stabilization Bureau announced that the earthquake was a "controllable temporary reaction"!

-They still haven't explained why everyone had to crawl under their desks if it was controllable, but that's what the City Stabilization Bureau says, so I suppose it must be true!

A beeping sound followed, along with what sounded like a video being played.

-According to the official announcement, the earthquake was caused by an imbalance in pressure within mana pipes in some underground-level districts!

-Nothing out of the ordinary! Only seventeen buildings belonging to fairly well-known corporations went into emergency defensive mode!

-Perfectly ordinary! Completely ordinary! Just as ordinary as your paycheck not going up for six years!

The host paused for a beat, then lowered his voice.

-But, citizens...