Chapter 119
"My dream is to become a hair designer and open a small shop. A shop I can open when I want to open and close when I want to close."
"Not an athlete or a fighter? With your trait, that would be much better."
When Jung-seok asked as if puzzled, Yang Juhee replied nonchalantly.
"We'll return to normal life someday, right? Nobody knows if this weird trait or whatever will still be there then. People need skills. To avoid starving to death."
So Yang Juhee had been thinking like that.
It was unexpected. I still had a lot to learn about my friends.
"I'm going to be a prosecutor. I still want to catch all the criminals. I'll have to get into law school and prepare for exams. I'll probably be busy as a college student. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'll have time to play around."
"...I want to be a novelist!"
Yoo Dahee said, sounding a bit shy. It was the first time I'd heard Yoo Dahee's dream.
A novelist. It suited Yoo Dahee, who always read a lot of books.
"But Grandfather says I must go to university. I'll probably have to go to a university in Seoul. I guess I'll study humanities? I don't really like Seoul, but..."
"I... want to be a game MeTuber. Actually, I enjoy gaming more than being an idol. But performing in front of people is quite a fun experience too. I think that would be good if I want to do both."
Kwon Sua also mustered her courage and shared her ambition. Now I felt everyone's eyes on me, and I became a bit embarrassed.
"I... just want us to gather like this once a year, even after we graduate or become adults, to take commemorative photos and have meals together."
"Hey, that's not a future career."
Yang Juhee frowned. Yoo Dahee chimed in.
"University vacations are three months long! We might be able to meet more often than we think. Though the boys will have to go to the military. I'll write letters often and visit you!"
Military service.
It's a future I'd rather not think about...
Anyway, speaking my mind made me feel better in many ways.
"Hey kids, have you been doing well? I had some business to take care of with the Chairman. Nothing happened, right? Look at all these shooting stars suddenly falling. At times like this, we need this."
Swish-
Ms. Hong Mi-ri, who hadn't been seen all day, pulled out a cold can from a black bag and held it out to us. It was a beer can.
For a moment, I wondered if this was okay, but Ms. Hong Mi-ri laughed heartily.
"You're supposed to learn about alcohol from adults! And one beer won't get you drunk."
An adult, she says. Isn't she basically 17 too?
Pop-
Kwon Sua opened her beer can first.
Is she more rebellious than she looks? Foam bubbled up.
We all opened our cans and raised our hands high.
Clink-
As we toasted, cool foam splashed everywhere.
The first alcohol I've ever tasted in my life.
Wondering what cool beer would taste like, I took a sip and immediately frowned.
"Ugh, what's this taste?"
I expected it to taste sweet like cola because of the carbonation and foam, but it was terrible.
I can't understand how people eat this bitter, astringent thing with chicken.
"Ugh, damn, what's this taste? Why do people drink this stuff? Cola is better."
As I grumbled, Ms. Hong Mi-ri burst out laughing. The housekeeper noonas chatting nearby also giggled.
"Young-won is still a baby."
"High schoolers are just big babies, after all."
I felt a bit embarrassed. Anyway, after that, we ate and chatted.
"Why did you dump me?! Why! What's wrong with me!"
Wham-
Kwon Sua pounced on me and started crying. As I was quite flustered, Yang Juhee pulled Kwon Sua's arm.
"Hey! Kwon Sua, you're drunk!"
"I'm not drunk!"
"Young-won is popular."
"Want to date a noona?"
Giggle, giggle-
Whether it was because of the barbecue grill's bonfire or the tasteless beer, my face kept feeling hot, but it was undeniably a very fun time.
I wished this day could continue.
Of course, we would inevitably grow older and become adults someday.
How many years would it take for everyone to achieve their dreams?
I looked forward to that day, and I wished that everyone's dreams would come true.
That's the wish I made.
***
10 PM.
Everyone fell asleep quickly, probably tired. It must be because of the unfamiliar beer.
I tucked my passed-out friends into their respective rooms.
"Young-won. You stay for a moment. The Chairman is looking for you."
Ms. Hong Mi-ri, who had taken the girls to their rooms and put them to bed, called me.
The reason was that the Chairman was calling for me. Somehow, I felt I knew why.
I had eliminated the other Chairman who was in this mansion. Maybe he wanted to hold me "responsible" for that.
The Chairman's study was among the lily of the valley flowers. The flowers shining under the moonlight were more beautiful than I had imagined.
"Chairman. I've brought him."
"Mi-ri, you may leave."
Ms. Hong Mi-ri bowed her head and went outside.
Click-
The study door closed. Soon, Chairman Cheon Dae-gon looked at me.
"I think you know why I called you without me having to say it."
"Yes. It's about your brother, right?"
"Right. You really ransacked my study. Then, you must know who I am too. I'm actually Cheon Tae-gon. I stole my brother's name and married his woman."
He admits it so cleanly.
Cough cough-
Just then, the Chairman coughed heavily. Blood spurted from his mouth.
"The price of envying someone else's life is steep. Even if I take the antidote, toxins still accumulate in the body, and I might die soon. No one knows if it'll be 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years."
Contrary to rumors, the Chairman couldn't be fine around lily of the valley. I suddenly became curious.
"Then why don't you just get rid of the flowers?"
"Right. I could just get rid of them. But it's because they're here that I can live as Cheon Dae-gon. You probably can't understand. Now, tell me about your father."
"My father?"
"Yes, what was your old man like? Did he ever catch a cold? Or get an upset stomach?"
In my memories, my father was healthy. The reason I didn't get sick often was because I took after Dad.
"My father was very healthy. At least until the last time I saw him."
"My brother was like that too. But he gradually changed. Like that Kwon Su-ho who fell to being a beast. I believed my brother could return to normal. I built this new mansion for him, and I was the one who made it so he could move around like a human, even if only late at night."
"......"
"During that time, I married a rich man's daughter under the name of Cheon Dae-gon. My wife knew I wasn't Cheon Dae-gon but she married me anyway, but there was a problem after the honeymoon."
The Chairman looked at the frame on his desk. In the photo, two men and one woman were smiling happily together.
"One day when I was away, 'that thing' did something terrible to my wife. No, originally they were lovers, but did I steal her from it? Or did it steal her back from me? In the end, from that day on, she languished and died after giving birth to a child."
The study was dark. Deep shadows formed around the Chairman's eyes.
"For a long time, I've always wondered if my son is really my son. My son is different from me. He never even caught a cold since he was young. His personality was different from mine, and he was good at everything."
"......"
"It's funny that I can't purely be happy about my son's growth. If only he had been lacking. If he had been foolish and slow like me, it would have been better. Once doubt took root, every moment was like hell. But that boy is my son. That's what I believe."
A woman doesn't need to doubt that the child she carried for ten months is mixed with her blood, but it's not the same for a man. Men try to find traces of themselves in their children.
Men are truly pitiful creatures.
"I want to prove my belief. I'll meet my brother and wife who disappeared beyond that abyss again and get an explanation for my burning thirst and anguish. That's why I'm forgiving you for killing my brother, Ha Young-won. Go to the depths of hell. From tomorrow, a special teacher will instruct you. Now leave."
The Chairman said what he had to say and sent me out.
As I stepped into the garden full of lily of the valley, Mrs. Danvers was waiting for me. Mrs. Danvers held a lantern to light my way.
"Ajumma. What kind of person was my dad?"
In this mansion, I could find traces of a boy.
There were many traces of boys and girls running around wildly in this mansion. Were they like our pirate crew?
If I closed my eyes, I felt like I could vaguely picture them.
Soon, Mrs. Danvers spoke.
"Your dad was a truly ideal son. He didn't do what he was told not to, listened well to what he was told. If you taught him one thing, he understood ten. He was always confident and knew how to be loved. Everyone always said this. Indeed, Cheon Dae-gon's son is Cheon Dae-gon's son. A tiger fathers a tiger─. He was completely different from a slacker like you."
"Slacker..."
I didn't know how to be loved. If I had known that, would my life have been a bit easier?
"You take after that man more. Your grandfather who was suspicious, foolish, and clumsy. Doing lots of things he's told not to, forgetting five things even when taught ten, that's exactly you. Such people cause accidents and end up creating big problems."
"......"
"But, that foolishness might be like a cool well to your thirsty grandfather. He might think he sees himself reflected like a mirror when he looks in your eyes. So, live as you want. Make mistakes, agonize, get scolded."
I'm not sure if it's praise or criticism, but the warmth of those feelings came through.
"Your father is his child. Even though our blood isn't mixed, I've thought that way since I saved that small thing from the flames that day, since I nursed and raised him. Even though I didn't carry him for ten months and give birth to him. If that child accepted you, then I'll support you too, Ha Young-won, you rootless brat. Now go to bed quickly. You won't grow tall if you sleep late."
I went to my room and lay on the bed.
Suddenly, I remembered the countless New Year's and Chuseok holidays that had passed. I once asked my mom.
─Mom, why don't we go to grandma's house?
Mom said.
─Mom didn't have a family, so since I was young, my dream was to have a wonderful family. You, Young-won, gave mom a family as a gift.
I didn't know about grandparents' love since I was young.
But as you live, you learn things you didn't know, one by one. Like the taste of beer. Like the smell of gunpowder.
That alone was enough reason to look forward to tomorrow.
Buzz buzz buzz-
I closed my eyes, listening to the cicadas crying loudly even at night.