Chapter 19
I felt a hand guiding my limp body.
Kaelan sat on the edge of the bathtub and rested my head on his lap.
“Good. You were much more beautiful than yesterday.”
Though he was stroking my hair, all strength had left my body, and I could not move even a finger.
Kaelan slowly lifted my chin.
“But tell me. Why are you crying?”
I felt his fingers cover the hot liquid running down my cheek.
“It’s not like I enjoyed—”
“Liar. Your body seemed to enjoy it. It’s the height of contradiction. But that makes it even more beautiful. Music needs dissonance to have dimension.”
His finger tracing my lips silenced me.
“The water’s gotten dirty. I should give your body a cursory wash.”
He quickly wiped my body with a cloth soaked in water.
Unlike before, his movements were swift.
Yet my heated body reacted sensitively even to that stimulation.
Please. Ella. Calm down. Think about what you have to do.
This isn’t me.
It was this body that felt pleasure.
I. I haven’t given up on being a man.
Yet a small doubt began to bloom in my chest.
‘Lies. Can a man feel something like this?’
I shook my head.
No. Don’t think about it. I’m a man.
‘After coming three times in that body?’
My nails dug into my palms.
I recalled Marquis Beaufort’s and Kyle’s faces.
As my anger toward them gradually filled my mind, the body that had been burning hot slowly cooled instead.
Beaufort’s arrogant face.
Kyle’s emotionless gaze.
‘Revenge. Think of nothing but that. Kyle, Beaufort, all of them.’
As fragments of those memories filled my mind, I could finally return to myself.
Revenge.
It was the only thing keeping me going.
But my clearer head only made me realize once again the situation I was in.
The man beside me was someone who had shown two utterly opposite sides of himself within just a few hours.
The enemy on the battlefield was simple.
Their goal was survival and victory.
They were predictable, and therefore I could respond to them.
But this man was different.
Neither slaughter nor survival was the purpose of his violence.
I sensed nothing but false warmth in his kindness.
Fundamentally different from the warmth I had received from others in this life.
This was like a madman’s capricious game.
I had no idea when he would turn violent or when he would become gentle.
There was no standard to be found at all.
A madman I could never feel safe around.
On top of that, he had joined bodies with me twice before even a day had passed.
Though I had been a woman for a long time, I had still lived longer as a man, and I had grown up as one.
It was an act that undermined my very foundations.
I had to escape his embrace, but thinking about what had happened in a single day made the future seem utterly bleak.
“This is troublesome. It’s already morning.”
Kaelan’s voice echoed through the impossibly quiet bathroom.
Sunlight had already begun streaming through the window he was looking at.
‘…Morning? The sun hadn’t even risen before I washed. How much time has passed?’
“…I’ve had a good idea.”
He walked to the door and threw something at me.
My vision was obscured.
“Lo… Lord Kaelan? This is…”
It was the robe he had been wearing.
A strong arm wrapped around my waist.
With my vision blocked, I felt myself rise into the air.
A chilly breeze blew over my uncovered legs as the door opened.
In quick succession, I heard something hit the floor, something break, and liquid spill.
A woman’s brief scream.
“Muen, don’t you think the servants’ training is lacking?”
“I’m sorry, Third Young Master.”
“How insolent of a servant to behave so rudely.”
“It is entirely my fault. Please forgive her.”
The old man’s impeccable voice.
Yet I sensed the distance he kept, as though dealing with a dangerous person.
Rude?
Kaelan’s confident manner had almost made me forget the situation I was in.
He was walking through the hallway naked.
With a woman in one hand, no less.
Even so, he was utterly unabashed.
Then I felt a gaze directed at my legs.
“However, Young Master, that woman…”
“Muen. Have you lost your fear now that you’re about to die? Take your eyes off her at once. Shall I pluck out those two eyes of yours as well?”
As though he had noticed that gaze, Kaelan’s attention shifted to the man named Muen.
“…The count will not remain still. He will not tolerate something like this.”
“He even tries to control his grown son’s hobbies. Isn’t that amusing?”
“Young Master.”
Their conversation ended there.
There was a small amount of information to be gleaned from it.
Muen.
That old man feared Kaelan, but was also backed by the count, who was trying to control Kaelan.
Kaelan was not afraid of the count.
And…
Was he not even willing to let others see me?
His possessiveness had been laid bare.
Escaping from him seemed more difficult than I had expected.
Fortunately, I did not encounter any servants after that.
When my feet touched the floor, yesterday’s pain seemed to flare up again.
Once the robe was gone, the sudden light made me squint.
“No. Then you won’t be able to see.”
Along with a hand touching my cheek, the skin beneath my eye was pulled downward.
“Ah. That’s right. I had something to give you.”
He withdrew his hand and walked toward the table.
There was a pure-white dress with only a few decorations.
“Here, put this on. It will make your beauty stand out even more.”
But all he held out was the dress.
There was nothing else.
“Um, Lord Kaelan, don’t you have any underwear?”
“Ah… ah. Ella, underwear is noise. Sound that interferes with a performance. It isn’t beautiful at all.”
“But—”
“There must be no distractions in art. Ever.”
When I first came here, I had not been wearing underwear, but then it had not bothered me because seduction was the point.
But seduction was no longer my goal.
This was not a matter of shame.
Without underwear, my skin would chafe, and the weight of my breasts would make prolonged activity difficult.
That would make escaping difficult.
But at the same time, a faint emotion arose as well.
Shame.
“If you don’t like it… well, I don’t mind if you wear nothing at all. Purity is also a form of perfect art.”
My shame intensified further.
Even rationally speaking, going outside without clothes would inevitably cause problems.
I had no choice.
The dress softly enveloped my skin.
“Grazioso. Perfect. Just as I imagined. Then this is the final piece.”
The sound of chains dragging.
A collar.
A collar was in his hand.
At its center was a lock.
A brightly shining jewel was set in it.
“You’re mine. I won’t give you up to anyone.”
Kaelan’s hand moved toward my neck.
If he fastened that around me, it would restrict my movements.
But if I refused, something even worse than being ordered to go naked would be waiting for me.
Click.
The lock clicked shut.
My throat tightened.
My hand rose toward my neck at the discomfort I felt there.
The collar my hand touched was strange in some way.
Contrary to his words, the collar was made of thin cloth.
It could easily be cut with a blade.
The chain connected to the collar was also very thin.
It looked as though it would snap after just a few blows from something heavy.
Objects that contradicted his words and actions.
“Now. Wait here for a while.”
Leaving me with those words, he went outside.
“This is my chance. I have to find a way to escape.”
The chain running from my neck was fixed to the leg of the bed.
“…First, I’ll determine how far I can move.”
I had barely walked when the chain attached to the collar pulled at my neck.
It was shorter than I had expected.
I returned to the bed leg and began walking again.
1m
2m
3m
4m
My throat tightened.
At this distance, I could not reach the end of the wall.
I looked around.
The table.
I could reach that spot.
On the luxurious solid-wood table lay a paper knife with beautiful ornamentation.
I carefully brought the blade toward my finger.
A sharp sting.
A drop of blood welled up.
“This knife… It has an edge.”
My heart pounded.
Ordinary paper knives did not have sharp blades, but this one did.
Enough to hurt someone.
And enough to cut the collar around my neck.
I can use this.
At the first positive news I had received since coming to this estate, a smile tugged at my lips.
When I raised my head, there was a window behind the table, large enough for a person to pass through.
I approached until the collar grew taut.
“…This window isn’t locked.”
The window clearly had a latch and a lock, but neither of them was functioning.
And judging by the view visible through the window, it was not very high up.
If I jumped, I might be able to escape unharmed.
But…
“Strange.”
I looked around.
Everything in the room contradicted his claim that nothing here would let me go.
“It’s too easy.”
A collar made of thin cloth.
A thin chain.
A sharp paper knife.
An open window.
It looked as though he was deliberately urging me to escape whenever I wanted.
On purpose?
Kaelan’s face came to mind.
“Is he deliberately letting me escape?”
A trap.
There was no way that madman had made such a mistake.
This was definitely a trap.
But the window clearly offered freedom.
I had to escape.
Even if it was a trap, I had to try.
“Information… I need more information. I’ll escape after that.”
I gripped the paper knife.
‘I’ll definitely escape.’
And I’ll kill them all.
My thumb, cut by the blade, stung.
This is nothing. Endure it. Just a little longer.
I reaffirmed my resolve once more.