Chapter 144
A pure white hospital room.
Sunlight squeezed in between the curtains.
The woman woke up with the gentle air.
"......"
Covered eyelids opened.
Revealing red eyes.
Her dreamy gaze realized morning had come.
Selena was lying in the hospital bed.
Though there weren't particularly any injured or uncomfortable parts, it was because of her disciple's plea to please take rest.
The drunkard hesitated but couldn't refuse the eyes looking up at her.
Thanks to that, she had become bored.
-I'll take care of the follow-up.
-Please take mental and physical rest, Master.
-It's this disciple's earnest request and wish.
But
It wasn't a bad feeling.
Another's worry had something that was quite awkward yet poked her heart.
She muttered with a feeling of heat rising to her face for no reason.
'I don't understand even though I know.'
Should I say he worries a lot?
Or should I say he's kind?
The drunkard smiled thinking of the boy. Then she shook off the thoughts remaining like intoxication.
As she slowly raised her upper body that had been lying down, putting the lingering afterglow behind.
"Mm."
A new day dawning.
Boring hospital life.
In other words, peaceful daily life.
As she raised her head while worrying 'What should I spend time on today?'
A voice originating from somewhere captured her ears.
"Are you awake?"
It was a youthful voice.
Selena momentarily stopped breathing.
"......"
Stiffened shoulders.
Wavering eyes.
Perhaps because it was a voice she heard after too long?
The woman couldn't hide the question and bewilderment in her expression.
A voice she had forgotten, had to forget, didn't want to forget for the past 10 years was lingering in her ear.
Right next to where the hospital bed was placed.
"......"
The drunkard turned to the side.
Curtains fluttering by the window.
In the pure white scenery, a certain girl was looking at her.
It was a face she was seeing after too long too.
But
"You're still a sleepyhead? Not even knowing someone's beside you."
She hadn't forgotten.
How could I forget your face?
When you're half the world I lost.
Selena pronounced that name with blankly dropped lips.
"...Lianne?"
"Big sister."
When her name was called, the girl smiled brightly.
Even that appearance was exactly as remembered.
Lianne Drunkard.
The drunkard was facing her younger sister's ghost.
Trembling gradually settled in her red pupils.
"How...?"
Was this a hallucination?
Or a dream?
Selena couldn't distinguish.
She just realized it certainly wasn't reality.
Because otherwise her consciousness couldn't be this clear.
'This.'
The girl hadn't changed at all.
The exact appearance she last remembered.
Therefore she was more certain.
Though Lianne's life may have stopped at fifteen, ten years had passed for those left behind.
Selena's reason whispered that all the scenery was nothing but an illusion.
But
"Lin...!"
What did that matter?
Emotion takes a step ahead of reason by nature.
Wham-!
The woman embraced the girl before her eyes.
Tightly, as if revealing her longing all this time.
'Lin.'
The nickname she called her younger sister.
It had been nearly 10 years.
Since such pronunciation and resonance originated from the drunkard's mouth.
Because there was no occasion to call after Lianne died.
"Kyaa! Isn't your reaction too intense? Big sister missed her cute little sister too?"
It was an unchanged innocent voice.
The faint yet clear body heat completely dyed the drunkard's arms.
It was warm.
"Ah, aah..."
Was it because her throat choked up?
Words wouldn't come out.
Though there were clearly many things she wanted to say.
If only she could meet you again, she had piled up stories as if to share for a lifetime.
Stories about magic, stories about the past, stories of days without you... all piled up in her heart forming mountains and seas.
She absolutely couldn't send them out of her mouth.
As if under a terrible spell.
"Lianne, Lin..."
Selena just repeated the precious name once more.
Like a drunk person.
"Big sister."
As if understanding such feelings of her sister?
The girl smiled while being embraced for a moment, then soon patted the woman's back with her small hand.
As if saying don't cry.
"Was it hard?"
"......"
"Don't suffer. I know big sister tried hard."
"No... Lianne. I almost ruined everything. You shouldn't comfort me with such words..."
"Shh."
Emotions gradually intensified.
Lianne cut off her sister's self-blame.
"Big sister. Do you remember?"
The conversation we had on the last day.
I said I was sorry.
I wanted to stay by big sister's side, I wanted big sister to stay by my side... I'm sorry I couldn't do that.
I always wanted to apologize.
Because it seems those words hurt big sister more.
Because it felt like my sadness dyed big sister.
So.
"I was sorry."
"No... Lianne, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Big sister doesn't need to apologize at all."
"But...!"
"Because big sister is still the coolest big sister in my world!"
Hug.
Hands that couldn't become adults.
Just as big sister had done to her, she too embraced big sister with all her might.
The corners of both their eyes were red like spring sunset before they knew it.
The girl whispered.
"I hope big sister won't be sad."
I hope you'll stop drinking alcohol.
I hope you'll smile often.
I hope you won't suffer from nightmares.
I hope you'll build relationships with other people and no longer be alone.
I hope you'll reconcile with the distant master too.
I
"I hope big sister will be happy."
"......"
Following the calm resonance, tears finally fell.
The straight line flowing down her cheek was hot.
The drunkard answered with a voice full of crying.
About the true feelings she had suffered for the past 10 years.
"I wanted to protect you."
I wanted to protect you.
At the bottom. In that damn life, we only had each other to lean on.
I thought it would be fine as long as we were together no matter what.
But
"I'm sorry."
In the end.
For not being able to protect you.
"Uugh... I'm sorry for giving up. I'm sorry for not dying together. I wanted to hurt in your place, but I'm sorry I couldn't even do that. I'm sorry for feeling like I ruined everything. I'm sorry for being a big sister who couldn't do anything..."
"Don't cry big sister. If big sister is sad, I'm sad too."
Lukewarm heat.
Though full of sobbing, the meaning was clear.
Emotions piled up for a very long time.
Selena didn't stop talking even as her pronunciation broke and sounds crumbled.
How many times did she repeat with a resting voice like that?
"Ah."
The woman sensed.
The fact that she would soon wake from the dream.
Her clear consciousness was stretching out.
"Lianne."
The end was already approaching.
The sweet time crumbled as the word moment.
What was loved scattered like fog.
Opening eyes in the morning would surely be painful.
'Before that.'
There were words she wanted to convey.
And words she had to convey.
The drunkard forcibly stopped crying.
She gathered her shaking breath.
She hung a smile on her lips though clumsy, and looked at eyes resembling her own with her eyes.
Their surfaces were red and red as if proving they were blood relatives.
Selena opened her mouth towards the transparent pupils.
"I... I'm going to try living properly from now on."
The drunkard realized this through a series of incidents.
How foolish her life had been.
-I'll die.
So.
Right after realizing, she tried to give up everything.
Saying there was no remaining opportunity anymore.
-Selena Drunkard.
-I will forgive you.
But
A certain boy saved her.
He said to return together.
She knew it was excessive affection for an ugly adult like herself.
Rather because of that, she didn't want to miss this now.
Selena Drunkard.
She was no longer alone.
"I won't be sad anymore."
I'll quit alcohol now.
I'll smile often at students.
I won't spend nights with bad thoughts.
I won't be prickly to colleague professors, and approach as kindly as possible.
I'll say sorry to the distant master too.
I
"I'll try to become happy."
The hospital room gradually collapsed.
The dream was breaking down.
At the same time, consciousness gradually blurring, and her younger sister scattering to dust.
The drunkard smiled along with tears wetting her sleeve.
Leaving final words.
"Like that... when I've aged enough, if I can reach you later. Then I'll tell you lots of stories you couldn't experience."
At that time, for sure.
Let's meet without crying.
"Goodbye. My eternal half."
Crash-!
A noise like glass shattering was heard from somewhere.
Selena's consciousness receded quickly.
What was seen at the end of the scattering dream was none other than the girl nodding.
The answer originating from beyond imagination left an afterimage as if echoing.
Clearly.
"Mm! I'll look forward to it...!"
Right after.
The woman woke from the dream.
***
A pure white hospital room.
Sunlight squeezed in between the curtains.
The woman woke up with the gentle air.
"......"
Covered eyelids opened.
Revealing red eyes.
The moisture remaining in her eyes realized morning had come.
Selena was lying in the hospital bed.
As she chewed over the lingering afterglow of last night, suddenly a voice was heard this time too.
"You've woken up, Master."
It was the golden-haired boy.
He was standing in exactly the same place her younger sister had been standing until just before.
The woman hurriedly tidied her face that was a mess with tears.
Then she quietly asked.
"Student Yuda."
"Yes."
"The dream I had until just now. Is this your ability too? Or..."
"Do you truly wish to hear the answer?"
"...Forget it."
Selena, who had been thinking for a moment, shook her head.
Instead of hearing the answer, she spread her arms and embraced the boy standing beside.
Just as she had done to her younger sister.
But a little differently.
"Thank you."
Face buried in his chest.
The drunkard muttered so her expression wouldn't be seen.
The boy patted her back while being embraced by the woman.
Just as her younger sister had done to her.
But a little differently.
"For lying to me."
Lies don't contain truth.
Therefore some may evaluate it as wrong, or meaningless.
But there are also people who live by leaning on such emptiness.
Humans are weak, so they obtain comfort from lies.
Especially adults.
"It's nothing."
"I'll be counting on you from now on too."
"I'll be counting on you too."
The drunkard now.
Could finally shake off the scarred past completely.
She embraced the snake for a long time.
Until their body heats completely.
***
The next day.
After all the problems were wrapped up.
I ended up having a private meeting with an unexpected person.
It was closer to the feeling of me unilaterally barging in than a private meeting.
I held up a teacup.
"So."
Sitting opposite the table was a white-haired old man.
Also holding black tea.
He asked.
"What is the reason you came?"
The dean, Gaston Galimar.
I was facing the [Prophet of the End] before my eyes.