Chapter 19
“Mr. Ashtein.”
Aria's voice trembled.
Her feelings were a jumble of bewilderment, distress, and a fresh, youthful flutter.
Aria looked at Ashtein, her feelings tangled and complicated.
“This is…… my room.”
The words came out in stiff, broken syllables, like a breath she'd held for a long time before finally letting it out.
Why was she getting so flustered just because that man had come to her room?
It wasn't as if she didn't know why.
She already knew the reason.
Because she liked him.
Because she liked you, the person you are.
Even though it was a feeling she could never be allowed to have.
Ashtein looked around Aria's room.
It held only the bare necessities, without a single personal touch.
It was so drab that even he thought he would decorate it more.
“What a bleak room.”
“……Don't change the subject. Why are you here?”
He gave her a mischievous smile.
“Because I want to be here.”
It was an utterly self-centered thing to say, and very Ashtein.
Aria was at a loss.
She had neither the strength nor the words to drive this man away.
Calling someone else would only tarnish his reputation.
“This is troublesome.”
Yes.
It was troublesome.
The impure desire she'd managed to suppress for so long while living with him was flaring up fast.
“Can't we sleep together? We've been doing it all this time.”
His blunt remark made Aria's face turn bright red.
Did you know?
That there was a lowly woman who pleasured herself while thinking of you.
Did you know?
That there was a woman who imagined a future in your arms.
You mustn't know.
Only then could she quietly fold these feelings away.
The emotions she'd suppressed all this time felt as if they would break through a dam and sweep her away.
Thinking about it, there'd been plenty of opportunities to get separate rooms at the inn, too.
It wasn't as if inns were always fully booked.
And yet they'd shared a room because neither of them had complained.
But this was different.
It could give rise to misunderstandings.
“I don't know what kind of scandal people might start about me.”
“Let them talk all they want.”
He lay down on the bed as if he didn't care.
Ashtein was a large man, and his presence seemed to fill Aria's bed.
“………Mr. Ashtein.”
“Call me Ashtein. It's about time you did.”
He smiled gently as he told her to drop the honorific.
It was a smile more lethal to Aria than anything.
Her throat tightened.
Her heart raced on its own, as if it had malfunctioned.
Phew.
Aria exhaled, trying to calm her fiercely pounding heart.
“……You're teasing me too much today.”
“It annoyed me that my Saintess kept putting up a wall by calling me ‘Hero.’”
At the words ‘my Saintess,’ Aria quickly lowered her head.
She hadn't heard a word after that.
The words ‘my Saintess,’ spoken by that man's lips, came to her like sweet honey.
Aria nearly lost herself in the happiness flooding her chest.
Thump, thump, thump.
Her heart kept pounding loudly, like a knock at the door.
If she opened her mouth, it felt like her heart would leap right out.
Aria struggled to speak.
“Are you satisfied now that you've made things difficult for me?”
Ashtein studied Aria, who had meekly lowered her head.
Her ears were red; she must have been terribly embarrassed.
He shook his head.
“No.”
“Then stop making jokes like that.”
Ashtein's clear, black eyes turned toward Aria.
His gaze was utterly sincere.
“Come here.”
Ashtein lay on the bed, spread his arms, and beckoned with both hands.
It was a gesture inviting her into his arms.
It was provocative.
Far too provocative and sensual.
It was exactly like one of her usual fantasies.
No, it was worse because it was real.
She felt an intense exhilaration, as if her brain were melting.
Her feelings overwhelmed her, and she could barely speak.
“W-what are you saying?”
“You said it too, remember? You asked me to hold you tight.”
His provocative, teasing words brought Aria to the verge of bursting inside.
She had definitely said that.
But!
Strictly speaking, hadn't she said it while out of her mind?
He wore a faint smile.
“Don't you want to?”
She hesitated.
Should she cast aside what little pride she had and fall into his arms?
Or should she preserve what little dignity she had left?
The hesitation didn't last long.
Ashtein grabbed the wrist of the dazed Aria and pulled her onto the bed.
The sudden tug threw Aria off balance, and she toppled onto the bed, landing on top of him.
It was a rather embarrassing position, but Ashtein's expression didn't change.
That calmness of his was irritating.
She was so shaken.
Her heart was aching so much.
Why did you look so calm?
They were close enough that their noses would touch if they moved a little closer.
Close enough to feel each other's breath.
Aria's black hair swayed softly.
“Ah.”
It wasn't Aria or Ashtein who made the sound.
It was a boy's voice.
A golden iris appeared through the crack in the open door.
“I-I’m sorry, Saintess!”
It was Makarov.
The boy quickly turned and ran off.
Aria stared in shock as the boy disappeared.
Her body and mind, heated by excitement and lust, turned colder than ever.
“………You left the door open?”
She asked blankly, as if her soul had left her body.
For some reason, Ashtein found that vacant voice amusing.
So he decided to indulge that amusement and laughed loudly.
“That look on your face is priceless, Aria.”
Aria grabbed her hair in both hands.
“What do I do? I, I don't know what to say to that child now.”
“You know him?”
“……Yes.”
“Then should we make it a done deal so he won't get the wrong idea?”
A done deal.
At those words, Aria felt as if the world were swaying.
That was a roundabout invitation, wasn't it?
Was he saying that he and I should h-have sex?
Just as her heart was in utter turmoil,
‘Then how about letting him have you this once?’
Aria recalled what Bishop Ronin had said.
Her heart, which had been fluttering helplessly, froze in an instant.
I shouldn't have thought of that.
Why did I have to remember what that man said at a time like this?
Ashtein noticed Aria's expression darken and gently stroked her head.
“That was a nasty joke. I'm sorry.”
No.
It wasn't your fault at all.
Aria wanted to say that.
“………If you're truly sorry, please leave.”
Words of refusal.
That wasn't what she wanted to say.
Why did this mouth keep saying whatever it wanted?
Ashtein looked troubled.
“I have something I want to talk about, so I can't do that.”
“Talk about?”
“So come over here.”
Ashtein pulled Aria into his arms.
She was now like a body pillow, and her heart was pounding like never before.
At the same time, she felt wretched.
Could a woman who so readily spread her legs, just as Bishop Ronin had said, really accept Ashtein's affection?
Aria felt as if an iron rod had been driven between her throat and chest, leaving her numb and heavy.
“……What do you want to talk about?”
“You asked me before why I hunt monsters, remember?”
Ah, she had definitely asked him that once.
Aria remembered most things he said.
“You said you wouldn't tell me.”
“I'll tell you.”
“……Really?”
“Really.”
* * *
Winter was harsh for everyone, but especially for the orphans left to live on the streets.
The Ashtein siblings were among those orphans.
Most days, the orphaned siblings spent their time begging, and a day when they could manage even one meal from begging was a lucky one.
For days on end, the siblings wandered the streets begging, trying to fill their empty stomachs.
There were times when local thugs spotted them and beat them as a group, but nothing good ever happened—not once did a kind-hearted resident share something with them.
That was because the closer the bitter winter drew, the harsher people's hearts became.
It was only natural for people to prioritize feeding their own families over sharing food with orphans they didn't know.
Despite those difficult circumstances, Ashtein's older sister, Amelia, never lost her smile.
Ashtein always thought his ever-grinning sister was stupid.
What good could come from grinning in an environment where there was nothing to be happy about?
“It's all right, Ashtein. We were just unlucky today. Maybe tomorrow will be a little different?”
She was foolishly optimistic.
Tomorrow could be just as bad, so how could she blindly hold on to hope?
Ashtein frowned and spoke sarcastically.
“What's going to be different? We won't even survive the winter anyway.”
This winter was especially severe.
Several orphans had already frozen to death, and one of them had been Ashtein's friend.
Amelia gently countered him.
“There's no guarantee that'll happen.”
It was obvious even with his eyes closed. What did she mean, there was no guarantee?
Ashtein thought nothing was as futile as vague hope.
Perhaps that's why he'd been even more cruel to his sister.
“Sure, as if.”
“Ashtein.”
“What is it, Sis?”
“Do you want to be spoiled by your big sister?”
Amelia pulled Ashtein into a hug.
Young Ashtein hated his sister's hugs.
Her hair was matted, her skin was smeared with grime, and her body smelled musty.
He pushed his sister away, wondering what a couple of filthy beggar brats were doing embracing each other.
“Stop it, seriously.”
She smiled bashfully.
“Ashtein's such a shy boy.”
It happened one day.
A boy dressed in fine clothes appeared in the slums.
He had knights accompanying him on either side.
The slum's vagrants kept their distance from this obviously out-of-place figure.
Countless beggars had met untimely deaths after offending noble folk.
The boy flipped a gold coin into the air with his thumb and caught it over and over.
He looked bored, as if wondering if there was anything fun to do.
It must have been pure bad luck that the Ashtein siblings caught the boy's eye that day.
“Hey, you beggar brats over there.”
Amelia realized the boy was pointing at her and Ashtein, and answered with an awkward smile.
“W-what is it, young master?”
The boy spoke listlessly.
“I lost something. Go find it for me.”
“Something?”
“Yeah. You can do that, right?”
The boy jerked his chin at the knights accompanying him.
It looked like he meant to threaten them if they refused.
Amelia nodded, trembling.
“W-where should we look?”
“I dropped it outside the village. It's a ring about this big, with a huge ruby set in it. You'll know it when you see it.”
It was an unhelpful description.
And outside the village?
Wasn't this the time when monsters were swarming around?
Finding such a tiny ring would be like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Don't go.
Don't look for it.
Ashtein hoped his sister would refuse the offer.
“If you find it, I'll give you this gold coin.”
Amelia looked at the gold coin the boy was flipping.
The glittering yellow coin was far too alluring.
With that gold coin, Ashtein wouldn't have to go hungry.
Ashtein wouldn't have to sleep on the cold ground.
Since Amelia had so rarely been able to do anything for him as his big sister, she didn't need to think long.
“I'll do it.”
“Really?”
The boy gave a sly smile, told them where the inn he was staying at was, and promptly left.
“Sis, have you lost your mind?”
Ashtein immediately berated Amelia.
He thought Amelia had accepted the offer far too easily.
There were problems with it at every turn.
Finding that tiny ring outside was a problem.
There was no guarantee that insolent little brat would keep his promise.
It was also suspicious that he'd asked beggars like them instead of hiring capable contractors.
If something was shady, it should at least be a little more subtle. This was so blatant, it had to be a scheme.
“It's okay. Wait here. Your big sister will bring back an expensive meal and a warm place to sleep.”
“I'm asking if you've lost your mind, Sis!”
Ashtein felt like he was going crazy.
The world wasn't as convenient as his sister thought.
It was harsh and cruel.
“Hehe, don't worry. Just wait.”
Amelia smiled.
She paid no heed to Ashtein's reproach.
On a day when a knife-sharp wind howled through the streets,
Amelia went outside the village to look for the ring, and never came back.
Never again.