Chapter 40
I slept soundly.
Really soundly.
So well that I even felt a little refreshed.
Azazel wondered how long it had been since she'd enjoyed such a peaceful night's sleep.
It was so soft and warm that it almost felt painful.
She sat up, pressing her right fingertips to her temples.
Plop.
A damp towel fell from her forehead.
A wet towel?
When she brushed her forehead with the back of her hand, it felt damp.
She stared blankly at the towel in her lap.
“A wet towel? Who put this here?”
“Are you feeling better?”
Her voice was so clear and transparent, Azazel wondered whether a voice that pure could really exist.
Azazel instinctively turned her head.
There sat the woman she'd resented, envied, and admired so much, looking at her with concern.
She rubbed both eyes with her left hand.
In case she'd imagined it.
But her retinas were unmistakably showing her Aria.
Perhaps because she'd slept deeply, her brain, more or less back to normal, began working furiously.
“………Why am I here?”
“Ain found you collapsed in front of the door.”
That's right, she'd passed out in front of him.
Only then did she remember what a state she'd been in.
She'd spent the night tossing and turning, then gone to Ashtein while still out of sorts from the nightmares.
And after grumbling at him, nearly venting her frustrations, she'd collapsed.
As if demanding that he look at her.
As if to say that without him, she was this pathetic.
She'd passed out like it was something to boast about.
Looking back, it was utterly disgraceful.
The thought that this woman had seen her making such a spectacle of herself made Azazel's mouth go bone-dry.
“……Is that so?”
“Yes.”
The conversation came to a halt.
An uncomfortable silence stretched between them.
It was awkward.
After all, she was the very person Azazel had criticized so harshly.
No matter how much of a Saintess she was, she couldn't possibly be fond of Azazel.
“How are you feeling?”
Aria's question was unexpected.
Was she worried?
About her?
What a forgiving person.
Wasn't Azazel the one who'd insulted and slandered her to her face?
Azazel glared sidelong at the Saintess, who was tidying up the wet towel.
Perhaps she was making fun of her.
As if to say: No matter how much you struggle, Ashtein belongs to me.
Was this kindness just an act, born of her psychological advantage?
Thinking that, Azazel's words naturally came out sharp.
“What do you care?”
“I heard you collapsed for no apparent reason. I thought it was only natural to ask, in case something was wrong. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”
What? She'd expected a cutting remark.
Seeing her genuinely concerned expression took the wind out of Azazel's sails.
Azazel pouted and chewed on her lip.
“………Hmph, you're such a nice person. Worrying about someone else. Is it because you don't have to worry, since Ashtein's yours anyway?”
A pessimistic remark.
Aria looked troubled.
“Ain isn't my property.”
“Ha, then are you Ashtein's property?”
Unlike Azazel's expectation that she'd immediately deny it, Aria's answer came a little late.
“Y-yes? Ah, that might actually be kind of nice……”
Is her head full of flowers?
Conscious of Azazel's icy stare, Aria cleared her throat.
“N-no, that's not it either.”
“Hmm.”
Aria tried to act calm, but Azazel had already heard all about her lewd desires.
Azazel tossed out the word in a flat voice.
“Bitch.”
“……That's a rather vulgar thing to say.”
“You like getting fucked that much? I heard everything, you know?”
“Y-you heard all of it?”
“Were you doing it on purpose? I thought you were trying to announce to the whole neighborhood that you were mating.”
“……I can't show my face.”
It was a rather mild reaction.
She wasn't someone who made it satisfying to snap at.
If I killed you, Ashtein would be terribly sad, wouldn't he?
Azazel stared at Aria with venom in her eyes, then messed up her own hair.
That wouldn't improve their relationship.
It would only send things spiraling toward ruin.
Would killing this girl make Ashtein look her way?
At best, he'd become her enemy; there was no reason he'd ever see her the same way again.
Perhaps she'd sensed the strange atmosphere.
Aria curled up like a small animal and asked,
“Ms. Azazel?”
More than anything, how could she kill someone looking at her with such sincere goodwill?
Azazel let out a pitiful sigh.
“……Where's Ashtein?”
“He went outside to get rid of monsters.”
“Heh, so he's still at it. That obsession with wiping out every last monster. Must be rough on you, huh?”
“Pardon?”
Aria tilted her head.
Was there really any need to call it an obsession?
If her own sibling had been killed by monsters, Aria thought that kind of reaction would be only natural.
Azazel ignored Aria's reaction and continued.
“Eating, then monster hunting; resting, then monster hunting; monster hunting even on his days off. Just monsters, monsters, monsters. I thought his head might be filled with nothing but monsters.”
It was harsh, but in a way, understandable.
When Aria had first met Ashtein, her life had mostly been a repetition of that routine, too.
Still, she felt more at ease than she had at the cult, so she hadn't been nearly as dissatisfied with that lifestyle as Azazel.
“It wasn't that hard for me. Whenever I was really struggling, Ain would take a break, too.”
At the mention of taking a break, Azazel's mouth fell open.
“That monster-fetish freak took a break? When I was with him…”
Back when I was there, he never took breaks.
Why was this woman getting special treatment?
Anger piled up in Azazel's heart.
Of course, there was one thing she was overlooking.
Aria and Azazel.
The difference in their abilities.
Aria was incompetent, while Azazel was capable.
As a result, Ashtein naturally devoted more attention to Aria.
Their personalities had played a part, too.
Aria had never objected to Ashtein's grueling pace and kept up until her body nearly broke.
Azazel, on the other hand, did nothing but complain, so it was obvious which one he'd treat more gently.
“……Anyway, he's a monster-crazed freak.”
Azazel grimaced, looking thoroughly fed up, and trailed off.
Aria didn't say it aloud, but she felt sorry for her.
“I understand.”
Understand?
What was this Saintess talking about?
It wasn't even funny.
Azazel snorted and lifted her chin.
“What part of that fanatical obsession do you understand?”
“He lost his older sister to monsters, so it's only natural that he would…”
“Wait, what did you say? His sister died?”
Seeing Azazel's reaction, Aria realized she'd misspoken.
She hadn't told her. She hadn't told this woman.
That fact made Aria happy, but she also hated herself for blabbing about it.
“……………I misspoke.”
Azazel couldn't believe it.
If he'd had a story like that, he could've told her.
Then she could have understood, too.
Why had he told this woman but not her?
Was it because this woman was special to him after all?
Her chest suddenly felt tight.
The two women fell silent again.
The silence was twice as uncomfortable as before.
Azazel rubbed her face with both hands, then tilted her head back.
“Seriously, I feel awful.”
“Is it because of me?”
“It's not your fault, so don't worry about it.”
Even if Aria told her not to worry, she couldn't help glancing over when they were in the same room.
As Aria kept stealing glances at her, Azazel scoffed at herself.
I'm such a pathetic sight.
“More importantly, knowing his personality, I doubt he'd leave just the two of us alone together.”
Just as Azazel had said, Ashtein hadn't been happy about leaving the two of them together.
He was convinced that Azazel's ill feelings might take root and lead her to hurt Aria.
Aria answered gently.
“I told him to go.”
“Maybe it's because you're the Saintess, but you've got some nerve. Who knows what I might do to you?”
“I thought you and I needed to have an honest conversation.”
The weight in her words made Azazel press her lips together.
An honest conversation.
What did that even mean?
“You love him, don't you? Ain.”
It was a blunt, direct question.
That was why Azazel was in pain.
As if she'd been stabbed, pierced through with a dagger.
“And if I do? Are you going to give up your place?”
Aria looked slowly at Azazel.
Her pain was heartbreaking.
She felt sorry, as if she'd stolen his love from her.
It was true that she felt a jumble of emotions.
But she couldn't yield to her.
If this had been the old her.
Back when she was bound to the Erotic Cult, she might have given up on Ain while berating herself over her circumstances.
She would've thought that Azazel was more suited to him than she was—filthy, dirty, and half a person.
But not anymore.
Ain wanted her, too.
He was always whispering that he loved her.
He made her feel a sense of self-worth she hadn't had before.
This wasn't simply a one-sided love.
It was a relationship where they supported each other.
So how could she give it up?
You, who made my frozen heart beat again, who opened up the world I'd shut away.
You, who became my everything—how could I give you up?
“No. I could never give up this place, even if it cost me my life.”
At that declaration, Azazel's face twisted.
But that was all.
She hid her feelings.
“Really? You just wanted to say something like that…”
“‘Just’ isn't the word. I was being honest about how I feel.”
There was conviction in her.
The proud bearing of a Saintess who refused to be swept away by any storm.
Azazel silently waited for Aria to continue.
“Are you being honest with yourself about your feelings right now?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Why don't you confess your love to Ain?”
It was an outright reproach, an interrogation.
Azazel never expected to hear something like that from this woman.
“……That's…”
“Do you think Ain will like you if all you do is get angry and act spoiled?”
The words tore through her flesh, shattered her bones, and stabbed at her organs.
Azazel was at a loss for words.
Aria continued.
“Your behavior is frustrating.”
“Y-you have no right to say that to me…”
“Are you waiting for him to figure out how you feel?”
Her breath caught in her throat.
Because that had hit the very heart of the matter.
How could she keep poking right at the bull's-eye like this?
Was she actually an archer, not a Saintess?
“That kind of feeling barely deserves to be called love. If you really love him, you have to express it. You have to approach him honestly. Why are you waiting? Why do you want him to figure it out? No love will ever work out that way.”
Her words piled up, layer by layer, like sediment, pressing down on Azazel.
Heavily. Heavily.
She felt as if she were being crushed to death beneath their weight.
“I…!”
And so Azazel shouted.
“No matter what I feel…!”
She screamed as if making a desperate last stand.
“It's none of your business!”
Trembling, tears streaming down her face, her voice twisted.
One girl looked at another.
At those heartfelt words, the black-haired girl smiled gently.
“Because I love Ain, too.”
That smile was so very Saintess-like that Azazel felt her insides twist.
“So what! Are you trying to say you're in the better position?”
Aria shook her head.
“No.”
“Don't tell me ‘no’! You wanted to see me fall apart like this? What a lovely hobby! Yeah, I like Ashtein. I love him, and this situation is driving me insane! You took him from me, and all I can do is sit here twiddling my thumbs, feeling shabby, worthless, pathetic, like my heart's about to break! It's wrong! I feel like I'm going crazy!”
Azazel panted, breathing hard.
Aria clasped her hand tightly.
Azazel flinched at the warmth and tried to pull away, but Aria only held on more firmly.
“You know how to express your feelings.”
“………What are you doing?”
“Confess to him.”
Azazel burst out laughing.
It was more of a bitter laugh.
“And if he rejects me, what about my miserable heart? Are you going to take responsibility for that?”
“Do you want someone else to take responsibility for your love?”
Why was it?
Her eyes grew hot.
Her emotions welled up.
“……….”
“You wouldn't want to leave things hanging like this.”
Azazel wondered how she'd ended up having this conversation.
Where had she gone wrong?
“So confess to Ain.”
Azazel couldn't bring herself to speak.
Still, she managed to speak.
“You're cruel.”
“A Saintess's role is to guide lambs onto the right path.”
“Is a thorny path the right one?”
“Sometimes you have to endure and persevere through difficult situations.”
“………What a sanctimonious thing to say.”
“Still, if it's really too much for you, would you like to be held by me?”
“What?”
Aria smiled awkwardly.
“I heard that people feel safe when they're hugged.”
The Saintess spread her arms.
Her ample breasts caught Azazel's eye.
It would definitely be soft, at least.
Azazel slowly leaned into Aria's embrace.
Aria quietly held Azazel without saying a word.
Before long, a stifled sob could be heard.