Chapter 5
A few more weeks passed.
I was strolling through the cathedral halls.
The Erotic Cult I belonged to was a fairly influential religion.
It was even the state religion of a country, so its scale was enormous.
What was life like for me as the saintess of such a vast religion?
Surprisingly, my daily routine was fairly relaxed.
Aside from reading thick scriptures or praying to the Goddess of Eros, I didn't have much to do.
Well, it would be strange if my days weren't relaxed.
I had to sleep with priests day and night, after all.
Just thinking about it made my stomach churn and nausea rise.
It was all thanks to the clergymen who treated other people's throats like semen dumping grounds.
How grateful I am.
A moment when semen had gotten stuck in my throat and made me cough suddenly came to mind.
It had been incredibly unpleasant.
I could understand why the women in AV films choked and struggled after accidentally swallowing semen.
It was empathy I really never wanted to feel, though.
Recalling that unpleasant memory brought another one to mind.
‘Come to think of it, couldn't we use the saintess's back door too?’
At first, I thought it was a vulgar joke.
But judging by his face, he was serious.
I thought he was a crazy bastard.
To begin with, the anus isn't an opening made for sex; it's for excretion.
I couldn't understand why they were eyeing such a filthy place.
Even when I told them it wasn't meant for sex, they didn't seem to listen.
Terrifying remarks about how pretty the color was, or how this could be useful too, flew around without restraint.
Were these guys going to suggest giving me an enema next?
The thought alone sent a shiver down my spine.
"Phew."
If I had a cigarette, I'd smoke one.
Sadly, it seemed cigarettes, a personal indulgence, weren't available to saintesses.
Well, even if it was in name only, I was the cult's saintess.
If someone in that position were seen puffing away on cigarettes, the cult's public image would take a massive hit.
No, wait.
The cult's saintess serving as a brothel for the clergy is fine?
Now that I thought about it, it was so ridiculous I had to laugh.
I made a V with the index and middle fingers of my left hand, repeatedly bringing them together and separating them like scissors.
Ah, I could really use a cigarette.
I played the broodmare every day; surely one cigarette wouldn't hurt?
One long drag deep into my lungs might ease at least some of this unbearable stress.
……Would someone give me a cigarette?
Imagining a cigarette that wasn't even in my hand, I pressed my index and middle fingers to my lips and mimed taking a long drag.
Inhale, exhale.
Even though I was only pretending, my head felt strangely clear.
Was this the so-called placebo effect?
It seemed like a pretty foolish thing to do, but oddly enough, I could feel my mind and body calming down.
As I kept miming smoking, I sensed someone behind me.
A chill ran down my spine, as if my blood had frozen.
What I'd just done could easily be used against me by the other clergy.
The cult's saintess pretending to smoke? I couldn't argue if they scolded me for being out of my mind.
‘……I really hope whoever's behind me isn't a priest.’
Whenever they'd found something to use against me over the past few weeks, they'd subjected me to agonizing sexual torture.
They wouldn't just let it slide this time, either.
So naturally, I shrank back.
Sweating coldly, I glanced over my shoulder.
Fortunately, it wasn't one of the cult's clergy.
Standing behind me was a boy with golden hair and golden eyes.
He had delicate features and looked more like an elf than a human.
Could he be a cigarette fairy sent by God?
I shook my head.
After going through one shocking incident after another lately, my thoughts weren't working right.
I lowered my gaze and looked at the boy's hands.
Since he was holding a reasonably sized Bible in one hand, I supposed he was a follower of the God of Mercy.
Feeling awkward just staring, I smiled brightly, and the boy smiled back just as cheerfully.
A bright smile untouched by the ways of the world.
That innocent smile made all the tension drain out of me.
There was a difference in brightness between a forced smile and a natural one.
“Hello, little believer.”
“Ah, hello! You're Saintess Aria, right?”
I nodded.
"S-Saintess! Could you give me your autograph?"
An autograph out of nowhere?
What kind of ridiculous thing was that?
Irritation welled up, but I reconsidered.
This kid didn't know what kind of situation I was in.
Otherwise, he wouldn't be looking at me with such reverence.
I might be called a saintess, but I was nothing more than a broodmare for the clergy.
I stopped my self-deprecating thoughts and looked at the boy.
If I were the protagonist who'd possessed this body, what would I have said here?
Would I have snapped at him, telling him to stop calling me a saintess and get lost?
I didn't remember the details, but I don't think I'd have said anything kind.
I gave a bitter smile to the boy, whose eyes sparkled with admiration and longing.
What good would it do to snap at a child?
"Where would you like me to sign, little believer?"
"On the book, please!"
The boy immediately held out his Bible.
You want me to write in that?
I stared blankly at the Bible in his hands, then slowly shook my head.
Signing the Bible might come across as blasphemy against the Goddess of Eros.
I could easily picture those priests happily seizing on it as an excuse to torment me.
"Not that book. It's the Gospel of Eros, isn't it?"
At my firm refusal, the boy looked downcast for a moment.
"Then please sign here, Saintess!"
The boy fumbled as he pulled out a sheet of parchment and an ink-dipped quill.
What a well-prepared kid, I thought.
Signing a piece of paper like that was no trouble.
I wrote the name Aria in the otherworldly language stored in my mind.
Perhaps the saintess had always been good at penmanship, because I ended up with a rather stylish signature.
Would the little guy like it?
"Here you go, little believer."
"Wow! Thank you, Saintess!"
The boy bounced away, delighted over a mere scrap of paper with my signature on it.
I felt secretly pleased.
I hoped he wouldn't grow up to be a priest of the Erotic Cult.
I hoped he could hold on to that innocence.
There I was, praying to a god I didn't even believe in.
"Saintess."
Priest Ronin had approached without me noticing and smiled as he placed a hand on my shoulder.
I gently pushed his hand away and narrowed my eyes at him.
"I'll go on my own."
The start of another shitty ordeal.
* * *
I grabbed the hem of my robe, which reached down to my knees, and lifted it to my waist.
Naturally, that exposed my lower abdomen, including my crotch.
My smooth, hairless pussy was clearly etched into the minds of the high-ranking clergy.
I wasn't wearing panties, either.
They were going to cover me in semen and soil me anyway, so what was the point?
I swayed the robe draped around my waist and asked,
"Is this to your satisfaction, priests?"
No one answered me.
They simply stared at my lower abdomen as if entranced.
Gulp.
I heard someone swallow dryly.
My heart was utterly calm as I performed this shameful act.
So what if I bared my pussy when they told me to?
At the sight of me laid bare, those so-called clergymen lost their minds and lunged at me.
A sneer threatened to escape my lips.
How was I a saintess?
Even a cheap whore would act less indecently than this.
I didn't resist their touch.
I knew there was no point.
I was powerless.
They pinned my arms down and spread my legs.
Soon, a huge, ridged cock forced its way into my tight insides.
"Ah, ngh."
The sensation of my insides being forcibly stretched open.
I should have been used to it after feeling it so many times, but it was still agonizing.
Come to think of it, despite having been with so many men, my pussy never stayed stretched open or lost its color.
I didn't know why, but it seemed the holy power I possessed worked like a kind of self-healing ability.
Maybe that's why it hurt every time I was penetrated.
My vagina, which had been stretched and opened, always returned to its original state as if nothing had happened.
Rotten and ruined on the inside, yet perfectly fine on the outside.
All shine on the outside, rotten within.
A bitter laugh escaped me.
One man's session ended, and the next man in line came forward.
The next man's cock was far too big for me to handle.
It wasn't as big as Cardinal Marblov's, but it was still large and thick enough to make me suffer.
His cock pierced my pussy in one thrust before I had time to adjust.
Pain and pleasure that seemed to numb my nervous system churned through my brain.
“Hngh, ah, aah.”
There was no affection or love in the way they used me like a sex toy.
They simply moved their hips according to their crude lust.
A huge cock thrusting into my vagina, fast and hard.
I tried to remain calm, but in the end I pleaded with him in a desperate voice.
"Y-you're too big! P-please go a little slower...!"
"Hup, it's the Saintess's vagina that's too tight!"
It was utter nonsense, but I let it go.
Wasn't it an everyday occurrence for them to spout nonsense?
"Hah, ah!"
Contrary to my request, he ravaged my body even more roughly.
Mucous membranes rubbed against each other.
The lewd sound of liquid came from my vagina, as if it had begun secreting lubrication.
"Ah, hah. Eek."
Unlike before, when I bit my lip to hold back my moans, now I let them spill out loud.
It made them less likely to resent me.
Perhaps the sight of me being fucked had turned some of the priests on, because they started pulling out their cocks and rubbing them against my hands or mouth.
They looked like people scrambling to use a public resource.
No, it wasn't just like that. That's what it was.
I was public property.
A means for them to relieve their lust.
That was all I was.
Aria, the person.
I gave up on escaping.
The choker was one thing, and the people watching me were another problem.
Even when I tried to escape, there was never an opening.
The only choice left to me was to accept the fate that awaited me and submit.
Just as the protagonist had before me.
I thought back over everything I'd been through.
I'd been gang-raped by multiple people.
I'd climaxed until my eyes rolled back.
I'd even been walked around naked on a dog leash.
Every time, they said it was the will of the Goddess of Eros.
It was the blessing bestowed by the Goddess of Eros.
It was the guidance granted by the Goddess of Eros.
I heard those tiresome words like a mantra whenever I climaxed.
Like humidity slowly building after the rain, those words gradually corroded my thoughts.
The Goddess of Eros.
The Goddess of Eros.
The Goddess of Eros.
GoddessofErosGoddessofErosGoddessofEros
GoddessofErosGoddessofErosErosGoddessofEros
ErosGoddessofErosGoddessofErosGoddessofEros
Goddess...Eros...GoddessofEros……?
Aah.
Right.
I'll act the way you want me to.
So don't hurt me.
I'll obey you the way you want.
So don't hurt me.
The Goddess of Eros?
I'll believe in you from now on.
So don't hurt me.
Don’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtme
Don’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtme
Don’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtme
Don’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtmedon’thurtme
Repeated climaxes painted my thoughts white.
I let out moans like a howl.
That day, I resolved to become the ‘Saintess’ Aria they wanted so badly.
In a way, it was also the day I castrated the male persona within me.