Chapter 11: Hero of Justice, Verdandi Astraea (4)

"I'm sorry for showing you such an unseemly sight...!"

Verdandi spoke while wiping her tears. Her swollen and reddened eyes revealed how long she had been unable to express her emotions.

"It's alright. There are no perfect people in this world. Everyone learns through mistakes and failures."

I smiled gently while looking at Verdandi. She had only become twisted because she had no one around to properly teach her about emotions.

Just like my past self. Before meeting my first love, I hadn't learned how to properly express emotions through writing.

- What's your name? Do-hyeon? That's an unusual name.

Yes, though it feels quite distant now, that was definitely my real name.

- Do-hyeon, you really can't write. How can you write down such unpleasant experiences?

Han Do-hyeon.

A name meaning to put a period (玄) on the path (道).

Someone might say it meant I was born to be a writer, but unlike my first love, I had no talent.

- You use too many commas. The line breaks are weird, and in the end, you're just talking to yourself.

This was what I heard from my desk mate when I was filling manuscript paper at school.

- Your problem is that your thinking is too extreme. Who would want to read something that's just sad all the time?

Her name was Yu Seolhwa. Unlike me, she was a writer born with natural genius.

Seolhwa had a talent for writing elegant prose and the power to move people's emotions.

In a way, she bore much responsibility for why I was now struggling so hard to save these final bosses.

- All stories should end happily. The writer, the readers, and the characters in the novel should all be happy.

That single statement Seolhwa left me had stuck in my heart like the sharpest thorn.

"......"

"Bing Yeon? Why did you suddenly stop?"

As we left the house to find the others, I stopped abruptly, and Verdandi asked me.

"I just got lost in old memories. Thinking of someone I miss."

I wondered what Seolhwa would say if she saw this situation. Being reborn into a world where novel characters lived and breathed, living a life with numbered days.

And traveling around trying to save the final bosses to make amends for my sins...

"What kind of person were they? You definitely had such a sad expression!"

Verdandi quickly read my expression and smiled brightly. Children are sensitive to others' emotional changes like this.

'...Was this also a setting I wrote?'

I squeezed my eyes shut. Verdandi had been living like this all along.

A life prioritizing others' emotions over her own. The stress she had accumulated over years had finally exploded.

That's why she had crumbled at one oracle from the Main God, and why she was so easily persuaded by my words, a complete stranger.

"She was my first love. A pure memory from when I knew nothing, something that can't be returned to now."

"...What does the word 'first love' mean?"

As if proving this, Verdandi didn't even know the term 'first love.' I sighed deeply seeing her innocent expression.

"It means the first person you liked, someone for whom you hold the most tender feelings."

"I don't understand! There were children who confessed love to me, but they were all just tricks to make fun of me!"

In this way, Verdandi was like a blank page. Similar in that no one knew what would be written on it.

If I hadn't stopped her, she probably would have become a murderous demon who judged all life in this world as evil and slaughtered them.

"Could that also be included in the category of love?"

Verdandi suddenly blocked my path and asked. Seeing her pure and unstained smile, I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"No. Love is an emotion where you would willingly give your life for another. While you might do anything for love, you avoid actions that would hurt the object of that love..."

"...Then does that mean you love me, Bing Yeon! This is embarrassing!"

To be precise, it was closer to paternal love. After all, I wanted all the characters in my story to be happy.

It was just like a child's mind, putting off and putting off the homework Seolhwa had left me. This was almost too embarrassing to call love.

"No. This is the feeling of a master caring for their disciple. As you grow older, meet people, and build relationships, you'll find someone to love and marry."

I imagined Bi Wol, Verdandi, and Azazel in wedding dresses.

A scene where handsome men stood beside them, thanking me as they held their weddings.

If I actually saw that, wouldn't I cry floods of tears? I somewhat understood why fathers cry at their daughters' weddings.

"You're the first man who has cared for me like this in my life! Can't I marry you?"

"Don't say things that aren't even funny."

To me, these three were like daughters. To an author, characters in a novel feel like children.

Though Bi Wol had licked my finger today, I had never harbored any impure thoughts toward her.

"I am your master. There shouldn't exist any master in this world who would have such feelings for their disciple."

Even if there were such people, could they really be called masters?

If such a master-disciple relationship developed into a romantic one, they would have to endure the world's harsh gazes and pointing fingers.

"But couldn't they exist! The men in this village looked at me with lecherous eyes! I don't think I lack charm!"

"...At least, that won't be me. I have never once looked at a disciple that way."

I wouldn't be able to face the disciples of my sect.

Ice Dragon Flower Banquet, which took in everyone as disciples - from coachmen to errand boys, beggars, children without limbs, and people who had sold their bodies and organs.

Moreover, we were already called an evil sect rather than a righteous one because we mainly used ice techniques.

"It's true! Bing Yeon, you really are a pure person!"

Verdandi was distinguishing even this as truth or lie. She burst out laughing with a "puhehe."

"A master is someone who makes disciples follow through respect and admiration. At least that's what I think. If you make people follow through force or fear, you'll eventually lose their trust."

I slowed my pace while watching Verdandi. Even at the academy where I worked, there had been an instructor who controlled students through corporal punishment under the name of "love caning."

'...That bastard was thoroughly criticized behind his back by the students.'

He was the complete opposite of me, and though I had advised him several times that he shouldn't use such disciplinary methods, he never really listened.

"Originally, people's hearts are like delicate glass - there are things you'll never know unless you speak or act."

At the academy, I was called by excessive nicknames like "handsome teacher" or "sculpture beauty," but my specialty was counseling.

Listening to students' dreams and worries, helping them avoid wrong paths.

That had been my small escape after giving up my dream of being a writer.

"So that's why you embraced me so warmly! If I had the right to choose a father, I think I would want someone like you!"

Hearing Verdandi's words, I could only smile bitterly inside. After all, I was the one who had crafted her narrative.

It was just that I had transferred my own experience of being called "an unwanted son" by my father directly into writing.

How did it end up like this?

"You don't need to add 'nim' so formally every time. Just calling me master is enough."

I stroked Verdandi's head just as I did with Bi Wol. Her hair felt somewhat dry, showing how much time had passed.

"Is calling you... master enough?"

Verdandi nodded vigorously, her eyes sparkling. She seemed to want to call me master just like Bi Wol did.

Though her manner of speaking was slightly awkward, it was better than maintaining formality by constantly adding 'nim' to my name.

"Yes, look, your mother is right there ahead. Let's go see her."

"Yes, Master!"

Verdandi hesitated, appearing afraid to move forward, so I gently pushed her back with my palm.

This part I couldn't help with. The relationship between parent and child was something they had to resolve themselves.

* * *

When Eila regained consciousness, she couldn't believe the situation around her. Hadn't Verdandi just stabbed her abdomen with a kitchen knife out of resentment?

The wound in her abdomen, which had even exposed some intestines, was now completely healed as if it had never happened.

"You, you almost died if we'd been a little later."

The woman furrowing her brow while drinking wine was the one who had been called Gold Tower Master earlier.

"Did you save me?"

"Yes, but save your thanks for later when you're with your daughter. Someone threw themselves into your family fight."

Wolfram sighed in relief while looking at Eila. If not for Bing Yeon's quick response and judgment, things could have gone badly wrong.

"With my daughter...? Wait, what happened to Verdandi?"

"She's coming over there. Do well from now on."

As Wolfram said, footsteps could be heard from afar, and a girl wearing a golden laurel crown was approaching her.

"Verdandi...?"

It was her beloved daughter Verdandi.

Watching Verdandi walk slowly at first, then break into a run, Eila showed an expression of disbelief.

- Even beasts cherish their young, but I nearly got murdered by my mother when I was just a baby!

Eila hadn't known if Verdandi remembered her trying to kill her as a child. She thought she had been too young to remember, and it had only been an attempt anyway.

Even while bleeding from the knife wound, Eila had tried to stay conscious to hear the emotions Verdandi had been holding back all this time.

This was all her fault, because she hadn't been able to love Verdandi enough.

"Are you hurt anywhere...?"

"Mother..."

That's why these were the first words Eila spoke to Verdandi.

Just ordinary words of a parent worried about their child.

"It's all Mommy's fault. I should have understood your feelings earlier... At least I should have listened to your troubles."

"......ha."

Verdandi was left speechless at Eila's attitude. She couldn't understand why her mother would say she was wrong even after nearly dying from being stabbed.

"...I hate you, Mother."

Verdandi's hands clenched into fists. She was angry that her mother would ask for forgiveness even in this situation.

"Even though I almost killed you, even though you know how the villagers look at me, I hate that you won't get angry at all."

"It's all my fault. It happened because I wasn't good enough. I'm sorry, my daughter."

Eila gently caressed her cheek, then spread her arms wide to embrace her.

If only she could have shown her love like this earlier.

"Stop saying you're sorry! You didn't do anything wrong, Mother!"

Verdandi spoke with tension in her throat. Her voice was wet with tears.

"Wasn't I an unwanted child? Aren't I the daughter of some unknown man who raped you?"

"......"

"This is all my fault! I was fooled by the Main God's oracle and thought you were evil!"

She wished her mother would slap her cheek. She wished she would show disgust and contempt.

If not that, she wished she would at least scold her for what she had done.

"Why won't you get angry? I almost killed you!"

Just as Eila was embracing Verdandi and sobbing, Verdandi couldn't stop crying either.

She knew she should say she was sorry, that she had done wrong. She couldn't understand why she couldn't express her true feelings.

"That's because your mother loves you more than anyone else, Verdandi."

"...Master."

"Even if their child stabs them with a knife, parents blame themselves first, wondering if they did something wrong."

Bing Yeon appeared beside Verdandi and spoke. His tone was gentle and warm, as if soothing her.

"You should apologize too. Though there's no guarantee a broken relationship can return to normal, shouldn't you resolve these old feelings?"

"......"

At Bing Yeon's words, Verdandi closed her eyes gently and gathered her courage. It felt like if she didn't speak now, she never would.

"I'm sorry... Mom... I was wrong..."

It was a message barely squeezed out while crying like a young child, without her usual extreme formality.

"Yes, my daughter. You must have been in so much pain."

Eila and Verdandi embraced each other, crying loudly as they released the feelings that had built walls between them.

"Mom... I'm sorry... Did it hurt a lot...?"

"No, it's okay. These things can happen. It was my fault first..."

The mother and daughter repeated apologies and reassurances to each other, speaking of the past they hadn't been able to discuss before.

* * *

As I watched their reconciliation with a satisfied expression, a cold voice came from beside me.

"Master."

"Bi Wol, where have you been? You helped a lot with this situation. Thank you for your hard work..."

The owner of the voice was Bi Wol, and I was about to pat her head as usual to praise her, but.

"Master, do you like that sister more than me?"

Something was strange about my disciple's expression. It felt as if this wasn't the Bi Wol I knew.

"...Who are you, really?"

I had no choice but to ask this question.