Chapter 42
The reason I set up Kang Si-woo as an irredeemable trash was to create a twist at the very end of the novel.
I had wanted to write that the heroine who had been traveling with him wasn't Azazel, but her sister Gabriel.
So I thought it would be a memorable novel for readers if it ended with the corrupted Azazel as the final boss kidnapping and imprisoning Kang Si-woo.
"...I was worried you might have been hurt."
After coming to this world, the only possibility I believed in was characters acting differently from their original narratives.
Like Biwol not becoming a slaughter-obsessed madwoman, Verdandi not killing her mother, and Azazel not waiting alone for Kang Si-woo in the north.
"Brother, did you tell me those things because you knew this future...?"
"I did."
I hoped Kang Si-woo would also act differently from how I had set him up, not cheating due to others' influence. This novel's world had already begun to escape my control as it came alive.
"But the future isn't certain."
"...That's true."
Azazel and I both sighed deeply.
I knew the future using settings and stories I knew in advance, while she saw possibilities across various parallel worlds.
It was a burden only we understood.
Azazel had made the mistake of equating the hero she saw in the game with Kang Si-woo, while I had let my guard down thinking there would be no problems if I just saved the final bosses.
In the original work, the final bosses' narratives were created first, with the protagonist becoming entangled afterward.
"That bastard from earlier was different from the Hero Kang Si-woo I met."
Azazel spoke mixing in curses unlike a saint, with the tentacles on her back writhing sharply. Still not calmed down, she sat kicking her legs forward in her chair.
"People who make such sacrifices easily are rare to begin with. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't have fallen for your sister's seduction so easily."
Such people are actually rare in this world. Just as I had been fortunate to have Seolhwa.
If I had fallen into a similar situation, I would have definitely noticed it was someone else and given no opportunity.
Even now I wasn't falling for Shub-Niggurath's tricks.
"Actually, I hoped he would miss me, even just a little. Maybe I wanted to believe it was really an unavoidable accident caused by my sister's seduction magic."
"But didn't I tell you that wasn't the case?"
"Yes. That my sister cherished me terribly, and was only driving away bad men who approached me."
Azazel looked at me with slightly raised corners of her mouth. Perhaps she was trying to hold back tears.
Her slightly reddened eyes looked so pitiful that I gently patted her head.
"Haha, now you're patting my head too?"
"Sorry, did you dislike it?"
It was an unconscious action, a habit from doing the same with Biwol and Verdandi.
Originally, it was something Yu Seolhwa, these children's prototype, would make me do by grabbing my hand when she felt bad.
"...I never said I disliked it."
Azazel puffed her cheeks while looking up at me. A silent request to continue patting.
What a troublesome woman. This roundabout way of acting was likely her defense mechanism developed after being betrayed by Kang Si-woo.
Though she didn't want to trust people, she still wanted to rely on someone.
Humans are creatures that cannot live alone, after all. Just as I had depended on Seolhwa.
"...Was I wrong to trust people too much?"
Azazel voiced her circumstances as if talking to herself. With no one else to blame, she was blaming herself.
"What's wrong with that? It's not your fault."
I spoke calmly to Azazel. In the end, the problem was Kang Si-woo being trash; she wasn't wrong for trusting him.
Many people take love lightly in reality.
Like flower petals scattered in the wind, few people hold onto relationships like Azazel, refusing to let go.
I understood those feelings better than anyone, having continued writing without giving up for Seolhwa's sake.
"After all, he was someone you loved. I think it's rather normal to have such feelings, even if you hate him."
I bit my lower lip. As soon as I thought Seolhwa might be alive, I had almost been swayed by the Outer God too.
A person already dead and irretrievable.
A love I thought I'd forgotten and given up on.
"But didn't you say love is when two people look in the same direction, moving forward while adjusting to each other?"
Azazel, who was like a daughter born between Seolhwa and me, questioned me with an expression asking for clarification about what love really meant.
"Right, in the end, if only one side loves, it easily becomes unhappy. One-sided love is inherently incomplete."
I put unrequited feelings into words.
Captured silent regrets in black type.
The reason I began writing and continued living until now was all for one person - Yu Seolhwa.
"Love is an emotion strong enough to change people, which is precisely why it shouldn't be confused with other things."
Until now, my desire to save the final bosses and give this world a happy ending was also her wish.
I gave advice to Azazel while recalling such memories.
"So this feeling is called lingering attachment."
Azazel spoke with a slight bitter laugh, as if finally understanding what I had said before.
"Let me ask one thing."
"What is it?"
"Why do you try to save children like me? Is it hypocrisy? Or do you want someone to miss you before you die?"
Azazel was testing me now.
Being connected to the Outer God Morgidian, she might have noticed something.
In truth, like Kang Si-woo, I knew some secrets of this world and could have lived getting whatever I wanted.
"Why do you try to live for others unlike that trash, even though you can see the future?"
She worried whether I had ulterior motives, whether she might be following the wrong person again.
"...Because it's the right thing to do. Does it need any other reason?"
I asked Azazel back as if questioning what was strange about it.
"What?"
"Why does doing what's natural need a reason? Isn't that reversing cause and effect?"
It was something Seolhwa had once said too.
When I expressed negative feelings, asking why she liked someone like me, she hugged me from behind saying such words.
- Do I need a reason to love you?
I had misunderstood, thinking Seolhwa loved me only for my appearance. I had been mistaken in thinking I wouldn't have met her if I didn't look like this.
"But... you're terminally ill."
This aspect was rather good. In fact, I somewhat hoped she would endlessly doubt and not forgive me, the source of all misfortune.
I had made the final bosses unhappy by projecting my miserable past. I thought I just needed to create happy endings for the protagonists.
After Seolhwa died, I couldn't write stories where everyone was happy anymore. I became afraid of typing at the computer, frightened by the decreasing views and readers.
"Still, I don't want to have regrets."
"Don't you want to play with women as you please or spend money freely? Are you really someone with restrained desires, Brother?"
"I do have desires. Dreams that can't be fulfilled anymore."
I wish more people would read my writing.
I wish more people would remember Seolhwa.
Because I was a person without talent. With my miserable writing skills, I couldn't write stories that captivated people.
Coming into this novel's world and saving the final bosses or helping unfortunate people was an extension of that work.
"What kind of dream is it that makes you like this?"
"Well, isn't it more interesting if everyone has at least one secret they can't tell?"
I smiled slightly at Azazel who was curious about the dream I spoke of, my eyes wide.
Seeing the original protagonists and final bosses happy together with Seolhwa. That was what I wanted most now, but I didn't know how long this miserable body would last.
"You'll find better relationships, Azazel."
I spoke gently while patting Azazel's head. She was pure and kind enough to be chosen as a saint.
She had just gone astray after meeting a bad man, and in the original work, she was meant to be a tragic heroine position who would kidnap Kang Si-woo to release her twisted emotions.
"...Adults like you are really difficult to deal with."
Azazel showing such a sulky expression to me actually meant our relationship had improved.
* * *
At that time, Kang Si-woo was showing signs of anxiety, biting his fingernails. He had acted according to the game's choices he knew, so why hadn't Azazel fallen for him?
'Damn, I thought the plan was perfect...!'
If things had gone just a little better, he could have been a man holding flowers in both hands. He could have made the twin sisters kneel at his feet in a harem.
Why had he failed?
"That master person was the problem."
"...What did you say?"
"After that man Bingyeon took Azazel as his disciple and her heart cooled, isn't the way to get her back obvious?"
Bing Seolhwa appeared beside Kang Si-woo and chuckled. She spoke as if seeing through everything, like she had watched it all from afar.
"How do I get her back? First you tell me to kill Azazel, now you're changing your words?"
"Well, my goal is to make Bingyeon hate this body and you all. The method doesn't matter much as long as that happens."
Shub-Niggurath spoke as if pleased by the irregularly changed fate. Her ultimate goal was to make the real-world lovers Han Do-hyeon and Yu Seolhwa try to kill each other.
"...Do you want power?"
Bing Seolhwa, harboring such dark intentions, smiled sinisterly at Kang Si-woo.