Chapter 89 - Because It's a Happy Ending (4)

What was life to me?

To gain enlightenment from this question, there was the best method. It was the Zen dialogue where Zen monks exchange questions in Buddhism.

Originally, to cross the wall of the pinnacle realm and reach the realm of transformation, enlightenment is important.

'Was life suffering to me?'

This was the first thing that came to mind.

Due to my brother's death, my father's violence tore my soul to shreds. As a child, I lived trying to find reasons to rationalize the abuse.

A monster who survived by devouring my brother, a dullard not recognized by my parents, overwhelming poverty that felt suffocating were all crashing down on me.

So I wrote.

To prove that my life wasn't wrong, to leave traces that I had lived.

Complete self-abandonment─, at least while writing, I could forget the problems of reality...