Chapter 20
How should I put this?
Late at night, after darkness had settled in, Lee Sol lay on her bed, lost in those thoughts.
She tossed and turned, rolling around on the bed for no reason.
Her mind was strangely clear.
His voice, which she had happened to hear earlier that day.
‘Because I think Sol is better than most kids.’
When she thought of that,
Lee Sol couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from lifting on their own.
Her shoulders twitched for no reason.
Ah, no.
She was definitely making a strange expression right now.
Lee Sol pulled the blanket all the way up to her face. Let's calm down.
“···.”
···Thinking about it carefully,
that had been recognition, something she hadn't received in a long time.
Not recognition for her results, but for the effort she had made.
In fact, it had always been that way.
She received recognition for modeling without having to work very hard, while nothing she did outside of that ever got a reaction.
As a model, she was a lazy genius,
but as a student, she was a talentless dullard with no knack for finding shortcuts.
At some point, that had become who Lee Sol was.
But then.
‘If you give her a little time··· I think she'll figure things out on her own.’
That trust he had sent her so casually
wasn't something she could get used to.
“···.”
···It felt strangely embarrassing.
Those were certainly not familiar feelings to Lee Sol.
As she thought about them,
“···Ahem.”
She found herself clearing her throat for no reason, while a wriggling ticklish sensation climbed up the back of her neck.
Something was strange.
She had only been praised a little. Wasn't she paying far too much attention to it?
“···.”
Lee Sol lightly clenched her hand.
That aside,
she didn't want to make the words he had spoken into a lie.
“···I really have to do well.”
She absolutely didn't want to ruin this exam.
***
Time passed quickly, and before she knew it, it was early May.
Exactly two months had passed since the first day of the new semester.
Today was the day of the midterm exams for the first semester of her second year of high school.
Most people would have opened their books first thing in the morning,
but I was more interested in a different matter.
“Hmm.”
I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
I looked myself over from top to bottom at my leisure. I looked from far away, then up close.
As expected··· seeing myself in a school uniform gave me a slight sense of déjà vu.
This.
No matter how I looked at it, it seemed right.
“Haaam······ What are you doing this early in the morning?”
My younger sister, Lee Seung-ah, appeared with her hair all mussed up and gave me an indifferent look.
I welcomed her appearance.
Perfect timing. I needed someone to ask.
As expected, no matter how many times I looked at it,
“Don't I look a little taller?”
“···.”
Lee Seung-ah flopped down onto the sofa without a word, then looked me up and down once.
She let out a snort of laughter.
“···What are you talking about? You haven't changed at all.”
“No, I think I've grown a little. Measure me once.”
“···.”
Lee Seung-ah's expression crumpled.
I didn't even need to hear her thoughts to know.
That was definitely the face of someone who found this a huge bother.
“Just do it once, please. Okay?”
It was difficult to measure myself accurately on my own.
“···Good grief.”
She let out a deep sigh and got to her feet.
Oh. She was going to do it after all.
“Hold this.”
Lee Seung-ah handed me the end of the measuring tape,
then pulled the tape straight down.
She quickly checked the markings on the tape as it descended.
“···How many centimeters was I before?”
“168.”
“···Oh, you really did grow. You're 170···171···? Right around there.”
“Wow.”
I opened my mouth when I heard that, and the corners of my lips trembled.
It wasn't over yet.
That moment proved it. My growth spurt was only beginning.
***
“Ahem.”
The air is nice.
I felt satisfied. Is this what oxygen in the 170s feels like?
As I passed through the school gate with a light step,
“Did you study well for the exam?”
“Yeah, more or less···.”
I saw Shin A-young being held up by a club senior in front of the shoe lockers.
She was having a rough time this early in the morning.
I thought my eyes briefly met Shin A-young's in the middle of it, but···
“···.”
I didn't know.
It wasn't as though the senior had interrupted a conversation,
and it didn't feel right for me to step in and pull her out of there, either.
I'll go to class and look over what we're doing today one more time.
Patapat—!
I heard footsteps lightly following behind me.
“Seungho, hi?”
Shin A-young ran up beside me and gradually slowed her pace.
— “Phew···! I barely got away.”
···Wasn't she with a club senior just a moment ago?
Lately, getting away has started to feel a little more familiar.
— “I've used the bathroom excuse a few times recently, so I can't use it for a while···.”
Hmm.
I could roughly guess how she had managed it.
But she had been counting each use one by one.
Shin A-young really was something else.
“···.”
Shin A-young suddenly stopped and stared intently at my face.
“···Why?”
I covered my mouth with my hand.
What was it?
Was there something on my face?
“No··· did something happen? You look like you're in a good mood this morning.”
“···? Do I?”
It was true that something good had happened.
I examined my face in the reflection on the hallway window.
My expression was as calm as ever.
“···.”
What was different from usual?
···I had no idea.
Since we were already walking together, I naturally continued on to class with Shin A-young.
Shin A-young turned her backpack around to the front and asked,
“Did you study yesterday?”
“Just reviewed a little? I went to bed early after that. What about you?”
“I just reviewed a little, too.”
Shin A-young took several chocolates out of the front pocket of her bag.
They were mini chocolates wrapped in plastic.
“Want some?”
Shin A-young ate a few, then held some out to me.
I reached out my palm and snatched them up.
If someone gives me something, I don't refuse.
“Mm.”
A sweet flavor spread throughout my mouth.
···These were pretty expensive.
I should save a few and eat them later.
***
—“———”
—“———”
The moment I opened the back door of the classroom,
several crackling inner voices began reaching me.
It was noise spilling from people who were nervous on exam day.
I had heard this sound so many times that it was familiar by now.
Hmm, but···
—“———”
···Why, Lee Sol.
Can I hear it from her, too?
“···.”
Lee Sol was lying face down on her desk with her eyes closed.
She looked bad enough to make me wonder if she was sick.
“What's wrong with her all of a sudden?”
Jinuri, who had arrived before me, answered with a wry smile.
“Now that it's actually exam day, I think she's a little nervous.”
“···She's nervous?”
That was unexpected.
So Lee Sol got nervous, too.
I had discovered another new side of her.
“Hey, are you okay?”
When I quietly asked her,
“···.”
Lee Sol slowly raised her head, then
“···No.”
dropped her head again as soon as she said it.
Somehow, her expression looked even worse after she saw me.
She seemed even more tense.
“···.”
···She was in worse shape than I'd expected.
At this rate, I didn't know whether she could even take the exam.
“You're not sick, right?”
“···My heart just feels really queasy.”
At least it was clear that she really was nervous.
Unable to watch any longer, Shin A-young knelt in front of Lee Sol's desk and lowered herself to her eye level.
“I'll teach you how to relax. Here, follow me.”
“···.”
“Ssshh··· slowly breathe out. Hoooo··· then let it out again···.”
“In··· out···.”
Lee Sol slowly took deep breaths along with her.
“Yeah, keep doing that.”
They repeated this several times.
“How do you feel?”
“Oh···!”
As her tension gradually settled, Lee Sol briefly exclaimed,
“···Huh.”
then noticed something strange.
“Ah.”
She soon let out a sigh.
“···It stops working as soon as I stop.”
The tension seemed to rise again, and Lee Sol's complexion turned pale once more.
It wasn't as though she could spend the entire exam doing deep-breathing exercises.
“Isn't there another way?”
“I don't know···.”
Shin A-young didn't seem to know any method besides deep breathing.
As for Jinuri,
“I usually don't get nervous.”
She didn't get nervous?
Jinuri had been strong as a person from the very beginning.
···What could we do?
It would be unfair if her grades suffered just because of a little nervousness.
Wasn't there some other way?
As I pondered that and put my hand into my inner pocket,
“Ah.”
Rustle.
My fingertips touched the plastic inside my pocket.
Right, I had this.
I took out the chocolate and held it out to Lee Sol.
“Want to eat this, at least?”
— “Oh.”
Shin A-young saw it and made a short sound in her thoughts.
Right, you gave it to me.
There was nothing better than sugar when you were nervous.
I had originally intended to eat it myself,
but it would be better to give it to someone who needed it more than I did.
“···Mm.”
Lee Sol chewed it slowly.
— “···I think— I'm starting— to feel a little better—.”
The static disappeared from her, and her thoughts gradually became audible again.
That meant her tension was slowly easing.
There was still some noise mixed in, but it felt as though she would soon return to normal.
But.
Once the problem had been resolved, the fact that Lee Sol had been nervous struck me as strange, so
I let out a snort of laughter.
“You must've worked really hard. You, of all people, getting nervous.”
Of course.
Being nervous meant exactly that.
No one got nervous about something they hadn't worked hard for.
When I laughed it off,
“···.”
Lee Sol's eyes trembled slightly, and
— “———”
the words her mini-me spat out were suddenly drowned in heavy static.
Then the static gradually faded back to normal,
— “···I told you not to do that.”
she muttered.
···Why?
What?