Chapter 14 - Regret

Unlike marriage, engagement carried weight but wasn't an irreversible choice.

Unlike marriage, which officially announced a lifelong connection, engagement was merely an announcement of an intention to marry.

Therefore, even if an engagement was broken for some reason, there weren't many cases where this was officially announced or procedures were carried out for it.

In my case, rather than just a promise between me and Elisia, it was a promise between families, so they said it would be better to resolve it smoothly.

Perhaps because I felt intense skepticism towards the North, including Elisia, I no longer felt any emotion or interest in the Northern side, so I just nodded dryly in agreement.

That would be better.

If I said I didn't want to end it smoothly for revenge, a public opinion war focusing only on negativity would begin.

This was nothing more than shouting that one was more justified in order to tear down the other party.

No matter the result, there would be no gain and only my reputation would be damaged, so I judged there was no need to do it.

There's no need to do something worthless.

So I nodded to the family head's words and said I would do so.

When I said I would pass over it calmly, the family head looked at me again as if surprised, then, seeming to like my response, he added one more thing, "If you want, I'll look for a new engagement partner for you."

At the mention of a new engagement, I smiled awkwardly and shook my head, refusing.

"I'm sorry."

After leaving the family head's office, I immediately moved to where “Siren” might be.

There was no particular reason, it was just that it wasn't polite to invite (kidnap) her to our house and then neglect her.

So while I was looking around for where she might be to check on her condition…

"Your hair is really beautiful. Do you have any secrets?"

"I-I don't know."

"Born with it... I'm envious."

I heard Loraine and Siren talking in the park.

Thinking they had already become close, I moved towards them and saw Siren being “groomed” by Loraine, cradled like a cat.

...This is somewhat strange.

Siren as described in the original work was cruel and portrayed as a murderous spirit who couldn't understand human emotions.

But the Siren in front of me was just a beautiful girl who didn't match that description at all.

Finding this somewhat curious, I was watching when the Sun Spirit that was in my arms escaped to my shoulder and started barking, "Myeong myeong," towards Siren.

Was it because Siren had been experimented on by black mages?

Or because she had bloomed by eating the negativity of many people?

The Sun Spirit didn't seem to like Siren much and expressed hostility by barking.

I stroked its head to calm it down and approached Siren.

"...Ah!"

When I approached, Siren clung to me just like when we first met.

There were so many eyes watching that I tried to detach Siren, but she hugged me tightly as if she would never let go, so I gave up and left her be.

It's better than hostility...

Considering the dignity and power that an archmage possessed, it would be better to build up goodwill.

I soothed the spirit on my shoulder that was barking at Siren to go away, and spoke to Siren, "Are you feeling better?"

At my question, she glanced up at my face and calmly nodded.

Then she spoke to me in a small voice, "It's warm... so I'm okay now."

It was an answer I couldn't understand, but the important part was that she said she was okay.

I patted her head to show I understood and fell into thought for a moment.

It would be better to keep her with me.

If I sent her out of the mansion carelessly, she might be captured by black mages again, which could develop into a significant problem.

It seemed better for me to keep her until she stabilized.

The problem was that despite having just met, she was showing incomprehensibly clingy behavior towards me.

I concluded that this dependence might be like how a newly hatched chick recognized the first thing it saw as its mother.

After suffering for a long time, she might be thinking of me, who saved her, as something similar to a mother.

Thinking that it was because her mind was still unstable, I decided to leave her be for now, judging that just as a chick grew and became independent, Siren would also naturally correct her dependent tendencies once her mind stabilized.

The worst curse that bloomed by swallowing the despair of thousands, Archmage Siren.

Probably because in the original work, Siren was such a strong enemy that she drove the protagonist's group to ruin, there were many cases where her strength was described rather than explaining who she was.

Therefore, while her goals and beliefs were explained, human aspects like what she liked or disliked in terms of food were not written, so I couldn't grasp how to treat Siren.

Should I just treat her well?

...I didn't know.

Recalling what I saw in human relationship advice videos (shorts), they said not to treat someone too well.

But recalling what I saw in some human relationship books (blogs), they wrote to treat such people well because one could just filter them out if needed, so I couldn't get a good sense.

So while I was carefully patting Siren's head and waiting for her to calm down, Loraine beside me cleared her throat with an “Ahem,” and made a suggestion in a subtle voice, "Um, Young Master, since Siren has just arrived, how about having a cup of tea together?"

At that question, I laughed hollowly and nodded.

I had promised Loraine in the sewer, and one of the effects of the tea was mental recovery, so I thought it might be helpful.

"These days, I live for the pleasure of drinking this."

Leaving Loraine, who was extremely happy beside me, I handed the tea to Siren, who was still clinging to me, and said, "Would you like to try it?"

At my offer, Siren carefully nodded and carefully took the tea.

Even though it should be hot in the teacup, she held it with her palm as if she liked the heat and drank it.

"...It's warm."

With those words, Siren continued to drink the warm tea and smiled slightly.

***

Elisia was frowning at the hallucinations tormenting her in the bitter cold.

— If only you had made the right judgment, our family could have survived.

Since snow began to fall again in the North, the hallucinations and auditory hallucinations that had tormented her for a long time revived.

Although she took medicine and received magical treatment to solve this, it not only didn't improve but gradually became clearer.

She desperately searched for the tea Damian had made, which was the only thing that had alleviated these symptoms…

But even after drinking and checking over hundreds of teas, it was impossible to find a tea that had a similar effect, let alone one that could match it.

Therefore, her lips dried up, her once glossy hair became dull, and dark shadows indicating deep fatigue clung under her eyes.

Although we didn't call something alive a corpse, when she saw herself looking no different from a dead person, she thought she was no different from a corpse.

No, maybe a corpse would be better. At least, a corpse wouldn't see hallucinations.

So thinking that a corpse might be better, she was laughing hollowly.

She could see the snow falling outside gradually becoming fiercer.

It had been a long time since snow fell this cruelly.

She knew too well what results this would bring, due to this, her breath stopped for a moment.

Many people couldn't go outside and starved to death.

Parents took food from their starving children in the name of efficiency.

And someone's death became natural—it was the endless heavy snowfall.

Her mind became complicated and confusion intensified.

A severe headache struck and the hallucinations in front of her became clearer and shouted at her.

— G-Grand Duchess, the children are starving. Please help us just once!

Feeling despair approaching and breathing rapidly, many people rushed into her office and announced an emergency.

Pull yourself together...

If she collapsed now, everyone would die.

So, deciding to hold onto her sanity and move forward, she was walking to the conference room with many people when,

"G-Grand Duchess, the children are starving. Please help us just once!"

A woman holding a child with a pale blue face rushed into the mansion, prostrated herself on the floor, and begged her for help.

The words were so similar to what she had heard in the past that it seemed almost intentional, and she froze white and stared blankly.

The people beside her said with hardened expressions, "It's pitiful, but we mustn't help. If rumors spread that we helped, not only will there be issues of fairness, but many people will start demanding help from the family."

"Grand Duchess, please make a rational judgment. If you make the wrong decision, everyone will die."

So they said she should drive away this woman as she had done in the past, and called the soldiers around to drive the wailing woman out into the cold-filled outside.

Seeing all this, she couldn't help but face one question.

...What had changed since that day?

The moment she realized that nothing had changed despite all her efforts, despair struck and choked her breath.

She had repeatedly discarded inefficient things and moved forward to change, but now she questioned whether that was really right.

No matter what she did, nothing changed and nothing improved.

As she was forcing herself to dry heave to force her breath that wouldn't come easily, suddenly a thought she shouldn't have occurred to her.

If Damian had been here, would this situation have been different?