Chapter 3
After feeding the creatures around, I immediately returned to the mansion.
Usually, when one went out like this and came back, people would pay attention and show interest.
However, I was treated as an outsider, and the Northern Grand Duke thought of me as just a stepping stone for advancing into the Southern political scene.
They all avoided me, considering me as something of a living disaster.
Because of this, they didn't care what I did or what kind of trouble I caused, so there weren't many restrictions on what I could do.
Thanks to that, I could do what I wanted quite comfortably.
Anyway, what I need to do is close combat training until the elixir arrives.
The reason for doing close combat training was first because Damian's family was famous for swordsmanship.
Moreover, close combat had become an essential item for survival in the North.
It's safe now, but...
Thinking about the rift that would open someday, it was good to prepare in advance.
To help Elisia, it was better to have basic combat skills, so I decided to pour all my time into training.
And for this, I shared tea with the guard knight.
Of course, she would have helped with the training even if I hadn't shared it, but I thought she might do it more sincerely since she received something, so I opened my mouth, "Loraine, can you train me?"
"What…? Oh, yes. Yes?"
The guard knight looked at me with a surprised expression, as if she hadn't expected me to make such a request.
I ignored her and decided to prepare things to take to the training ground.
Tea, potion, bandages.
With these three, theoretically, infinite training repetition was possible.
While I was gathering as many of these as possible, Loraine licked her lips and asked me, "Um, Young Master, do you happen to have any tea left?"
It seemed the tea suited her taste quite well.
Since it wasn't that difficult to make anyway, I nodded lightly, and Loraine raised the corners of her mouth widely and said to me, "I will definitely make you into a human being, Young Master!"
"...A human being?"
"Ah, it's nothing."
Loraine averted her gaze and evaded, and I shook my head and finished all the preparations.
Heading to the training ground, I saw quite a lot of people training.
Looking around, I headed to a relatively less crowded place and conveyed my requirements to Loraine.
"I want to learn close combat."
Although Damian was the youngest son of a family famous for swordsmanship, the reason I specifically said close combat rather than just swordsmanship was unlike the South, in the North, there were many occasions for prolonged battles, so not only swords but other close combat weapons were frequently used.
If my goal was to be recognized by the family or to become the strongest using a sword, I might have focused only on swordsmanship.
From the beginning, the reason I was learning close combat wasn't for growth or anything like that, but to be helpful to Elisia.
As long as I could grow enough to be helpful, it didn't matter much what I learned.
Hearing my words, Loraine seemed to ponder for a moment before asking me a question, "You want to learn close combat, not just swordsmanship, right?"
When I nodded, Loraine put on a somewhat serious expression and asked me the reason.
After I briefly explained the reason, Loraine showed signs of contemplation for a moment before speaking briefly, "If you're training with long-term combat in mind, blunt weapons might be better. Once a sword's edge dulls, its performance as a weapon drops dramatically."
However, she said that blunt weapons consumed a lot of stamina, so if one didn't build up one’s stamina, one might get tired even faster than with a sword.
"Of course, all of this can be compensated for with mana. But in your case, Young Master, since you can't use mana yet, let's try various things and choose what fits your hand for now."
Hearing this, I looked over the weapons laid out and picked up a wooden sword, a wooden hammer, and a wooden mace, placing them nearby.
The moment I picked up the wooden practice weapons, the gazes of the Northern soldiers momentarily focused on me.
But seeing Damian's frail body, they turned away with sneering expressions.
Since such gazes were meaningless anyway, I ignored them and told Loraine I had brought the weapons. Loraine picked up a nearby wooden sword and said, "So, for now, try your best. I'll point out any mistakes separately."
I nodded, running my hand through my hair.
In modern common sense, the body was considered consumable, so the more one overworked it, the worse it was.
However, in this world, there was no such common sense, and there were even items that could restore the body to its original state, so I was really pushing my body without worry.
"Well, Young Master, this much..."
If the skin tore, apply a potion; if a finger broke, drink a potion.
Of course, potions weren't omnipotent, so it was impossible to completely remove scars.
“High-value potions” contained holy power, so they could easily overcome such minor problems.
"It's fine if I drink a potion."
"No, it's not that, it's my heart that's not okay."
Not only was everything around covered in blood but my clothes were completely dyed red, so from the guard knight's perspective, it must have been terrifying.
But to grow in a short time, it was right to push a little harder rather than doing it normally.
With Damian's unique talent, and thanks to the potions, there are no side effects except for the pain.
Thinking there couldn't be anything better than this, I picked up a one-handed hammer and smiled.
By the way, the blunt weapon feels good in my hand.
Maybe because of its weight, it felt good to feel the impact every time I swung it.
Of course, I haven't felt the true satisfaction yet since it was hitting Loraine's weapon, not a person's body.
As I was enjoying the clash of weapons, which was quite satisfying on its own, Loraine urgently said, "No, Young Master, you're overflowing with talent, so you don't need to push yourself this hard. If you just keep at it steadily, you can grow in a short time!"
"..."
"Why are you going this far? Even if it's for your fiancée, I don't understand why you're training this hard."
Of course, since I never explained the reason, it was natural that she didn’t know.
Instead of answering, I brought down the hammer and said, "There's a reason."
Thinking that if someone became a guidepost and gave one a reason to live in a reality where there was nothing but despair, anyone would come to like them this much, I pushed Loraine.
***
— Elisia, the word “best effort” is just a word used by worthless people to prove themselves.
— The world will remember only one results, not one’s process, furthermore, it will only remember one’s failures.
— So please don't fail. That's the last thing this mother can tell you.
Elisia Wintreaven.
The daughter of the Northern Grand Duke, famous for being barren and harsh.
Growing up in a place where a small mistake could lead to someone's death, she had been educated from a young age to choose reason over emotion.
It was too cruel an education for a young child.
But because so many things were placed on her shoulders that she couldn't even show a hint of childishness, she had no choice but to become an adult without even being able to throw a small tantrum.
Growing up learning only reason, she was tasked with reading someone's death as a number.
[Death Report]
A lovely child raised with love by their parents.
A wise old man who led everyone.
A kind woman who shared food with the hungry.
Soldiers who sacrificed themselves for everyone.
In the report, everything was omitted and changed to just the number “1”.
So she only repeated mechanical calculations, judging not by people but by value.
— G-Grand Duchess, the children are starving. Please help us just once!
That was why she became numb to death.
— My... son died. While giving up his share to his younger sibling…
Knowing that the moment she was swayed by emotion, more people would die and the situation would reach its worst, she pretended to be numb even if she wasn't.
— My wife and daughter died. It's all because they had such an incompetent father.
Otherwise, she couldn't have endured all of this.
[Death Report]
Adult male, presumed suicide.
"Ah."
Reason should take precedence over emotion.
In the harsh North, that was the only way for everyone to survive.
So... that's why... I need to make a rational judgment, for everyone to live...
"..."
Hallucinations as if seeing ghosts before her eyes.
Auditory hallucinations of everyone blaming her.
From the moment she started perceiving numbers as deaths, she couldn't close her eyes for even a moment.
Every moment was painful, but it was better than seeing hallucinations and hearing auditory hallucinations of those she had killed by her choices... To stay awake even a little, she closed her eyes and drank the beverage.
"...?"
It tasted different from the usual tea.
It had a taste that gave a warm and cozy sensation, reminiscent of a spring day after winter, so she couldn't understand what it was and opened her eyes.
She saw the tea that Damian had left in her hand.
She knew.
Logically, it was impossible that someone would give a strange drink to her, not just an ordinary noble but the Grand Duchess.
Yet the reason she refused was to make him lose interest in her and leave.
So she tried to put down the teacup again and clear it away.
But the efficacy of the tea was too good to easily let go.
She didn't know what kind of tea it was, but not only did it make her head feel clear, it also blew away the fatigue that felt like her whole body was being slashed with a knife.
It even dimmed the hallucinations and auditory hallucinations that had been tormenting her, so her gaze kept shifting to the tea Damian had given her.
...I shouldn't drink it.
She shouldn't accept Damian's kindness in any way.
If she became close to him, her position would be reduced to a discarded card for advancing into central politics.
At that moment, all the promises she had made to those dying would become meaningless, so she shouldn't make an emotional choice rather than a rational one.
But her exhausted body completely refused the orders from her head and kept bringing the teacup to her mouth.
A tasted like a warm spring day.
It was similar to the feeling of comfort that she hadn't felt since her mother passed away.