A Lunatic's Joke

I looked at him in astonishment.

…Cyberpsycho?

Of course, unlike a certain game, there was no such thing as a Cyberpsycho in Dusk City, but he was definitely Crazy anyway.

Unless he was a lunatic, what fully grown adult man would seriously Watch “Twinkle Twinkle Star Power! ~The Second Coming of Magic Princess Juliana~” and say it was fun?

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s a joke. There’s no way I’d genuinely find that fun… Oh.”

Even as he said that, he couldn’t take his eyes off Magic Princess Juliana’s flashy climactic Transformation scene.

He’s got it bad.

I tried to stealthily Step back and distance myself from the Customer, but I was caught red-handed.

The Ajje Customer let out a deep sigh and waved a hand.

“I’ll say it again, it’s not what you think. I’ve just been having a hard time lately, so I was blankly staring at the channel screen to empty my head.”

“Yes. I see. Understood…Still, just in case, should I give you some space?”

“No! I don’t need Alone time. You don’t have to do that. I’ll just gratefully Accept the thought.”

Normally, I would have just exchanged a few jokes like this, checked if there were any special requests or orders, and left.

That was my job as the On-site Manager and Trainee Bartender. That was all I needed to do.

That was the end of it.

As I saw the Ajje Customer’s drooping shoulders and back, which seemed to express the sorrow of an Office Worker with his whole body, it wasn’t my job to feel a sense of responsibility to comfort him.

The alcohol would comfort him on its own, and if he really needed someone to talk to, there were Bartenders. There was no need for me to Step in.

If it were me from a few hours ago, I would have thought exactly that.

If it were me before hearing Tony say, “I won’t stop you if you want to keep playing the Sidekick,' I would have thought exactly that.

I couldn’t remain just a Barback.

It was an issue I had already reached a conclusion when I tried Serving the cocktails myself earlier.

In the end, I had to become a Bartender too.

And a Bartender was someone who communicated with customers.

Even if I couldn’t become a First-class Bartender who made customers unpack their stories on their own without even needing to initiate a conversation, shouldn’t I at least give it a try?

Hastily attempting a conversation with a stranger I didn’t know well wasn’t my style, but treating it as a rehearsal to become a Bartender, I carefully opened my mouth.

“So, is something the matter, if it’s not rude of me to ask.”

“Just work, as always. That’s always the problem.”

He didn’t say anything for a long time after that, so I thought it was a sign he didn’t want to talk. I was about to awkwardly back away after saying, “Hmm, I see,” when it happened.

Perhaps my feeling that I should try talking to him wasn’t just my imagination, because the Office Worker Ajje suddenly turned his head with a face that had regained its color and spoke.

“Have you Ever heard of Cockroach Eaten After 100 Days?”

“I’ve heard of Pig Eaten After 100 Days.”

“It’s similar. It’s past its prime now, but back when I was young, it was popular Web Streaming Content. They’d have someone raise an animal from a baby until it was fully grown over 100 days, and if they ate it themselves, they’d be given a million dollars.”

“That sounds delicious.”

The money, of course. How much is a million dollars? It would be great if I were given an opportunity like that too.

As long as the animal isn’t a cockroach.

Maybe even a cockroach would be Fine if I just closed my eyes and roasted it… Damn it. I’ve completely become a Duskian too.

“It might not be that simple. As time passed, the standard for the animals gradually lowered from pigs to chickens, chickens to dogs and cats, dogs and cats to frogs or rats, and then to crickets, grasshoppers, and cockroaches… but still, if you raise anything from a baby for a hundred days, you naturally get attached to it.”

“I don’t know. I think I’m still more attached to money.”

“Actually, that was the point of the content. Letting the viewers chew, tear, taste, and enjoy the ugly nature of a person who would be conflicted between money and a pet, only to finally choose the cash. It delivered a low-level comfort of 'It’s not just me. People are all the same,' and also drew Attention with the provocative sight of someone tearing into and eating the animal they raised themselves. I don’t know who thought of it first, but it was a pretty clever concept. It didn’t get popular for nothing.”

“But why is it past its prime now?”

At my question, the Office Worker Ajje wet his throat and replied.

“People became desensitized to the stimulation. They wouldn’t even bat an eye at most animals anymore. Because of that, due to financial issues and for a New Stimulus, they gradually changed the subjects to bugs.”

“It must have become just ordinary Bizarre Eating Content. Even then, the threshold would have gotten higher, so they’d adapt quickly.”

“Right. The episode where they chewed up a cockroach raw was a huge success, but the traffic must have gone completely downhill from there, because when it comes to being provocative, there’s nothing that can beat a cockroach.”

He said that, then paused and changed his words.

“Actually, it’s not that there’s nothing at all… That’s why I hear new releases circulate only occasionally on the dark web now. As you know, to be more provocative than that, you have to cross over into the Territory of Hard Gore.”

Aha. I understood what he meant.

It was certain that it had ultimately strayed far from the tastes of The Public.

I nodded and spoke.

“Please, speak comfortably. I actually prefer it that way.”

“Shall I? Anyway, I’ve been having this thought lately. Maybe my situation isn’t so different from those animals eaten after 100 days.”

Hmm.

I’d heard a lot of complaining about one’s lot while working at the bar, but this was on the peculiar side even among other complaints.

“That thought keeps coming to mind, so I can’t maintain my Concentration, and I even have dreams of being eaten. I scream in some squawking animal language to an unknown Master, begging the Master to spare me, promising I’ll do better, asking if things aren’t good between us, and crying that it makes no sense to die after living for only 100 days, only to end up going into the oven.”

“Um, by any chance, do you enjoy being-eaten play by a Master you serve in bed every night…”

“No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Then, maybe you caught an incurable disease and are living with a terminal illness.”

“Not that either. Well, in a way, I suppose it is similar.”

The Ajje Customer let out a sigh heavy enough to sink the Ground and spoke.

“Anyway, have you Ever had a similar thought?”

“A thought that I’m in the same boat as a pet being eaten by its Master?”

“No. More like the thought that your own ending is Predetermined, just like those animals that end up being eaten after a hundred days no matter what happens - the feeling that no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to avoid that ending.”

“Uh… I don’t think I have?”

I’ve been way too busy surviving day by day to engage in such philosophical contemplation.

Things have been so excessively turbulent that I can’t even guess what will happen to me tomorrow, let Alone my ending.

Just yesterday, I had no idea this Ajje Customer was such a talkative person.

“Really? Well, I don’t mean to demean your profession, but you’re a Waiter.”

“A Bartender, to be exact. An Apprentice, though.”

“Anyway, whether it’s a Bartender or a Waiter, it’s not a profession with great prospects. Do you plan on doing this job for the rest of your life?”

“I wouldn’t know about that.”

“Right. You wouldn’t know. You might work at a bar for the rest of your life, or you might not. But either way, I don’t think a particularly Extraordinary life path is waiting for you. If you work at a bar, you’ll become a Head Bartender, or if things go well, maybe a Manager or a Bar Owner. And then you’ll die.”

“Uh… Are you sure you’re not demeaning my profession?”

When I asked in bewilderment at the sudden barrage of cynical vitriol, the Ajje Customer shook his head and spoke.

“Don’t worry. It wouldn’t be much different even if it were another job instead of a Bartender. For example, let’s say you were a company Employee instead of a Bartender. You build up your resume like Crazy and join a solid corporation as a company Employee. But could you climb high? It’d be impossible. No matter how well you do, unless you’re incredibly lucky or a massive genius, you’d stop around General Manager, retire, and then die. In the end, it’s a very typical ending.”

“Okay. So you weren’t demeaning my profession, you were demeaning me. Thank you so much. Thanks to you, I’ve become depressed too.”

“No, That’s not it. I was just giving an example.”

At my sarcastic tone, he looked at the Name Tag on my chest and spoke.

“Your name is… Right. Aaron. It’s no different for you, Aaron, or for me - oh right, my name is Bing. Just in case you were wondering. It’s no different for me, Bing. Do you know how late I worked overtime today? Three in the morning. To be exact, I was running around working until 03:13. I have to work again at the crack of dawn tomorrow at six a.m., so I’m getting less than three hours of sleep a day. Since I’m here doing this instead of sleeping, those three hours must have decreased significantly.”

Of course, part of it is because it’s an important period right now, but that’s just how the profession is. You can’t sleep. Everyone else around me can’t even get half of the Dusk Average Sleep Time either. It’s the same for me.”

“That’s a shame, Mr. Bing. I think I still sleep about six or seven hours a day, though.”

“That’s happiness. See? Aaron, your situation is better than mine. Sure, I make a lot of money and have a high social status, but sleep is something you only realize the value of after you lose it. How great a blessing it is to be able to sleep as much as you want, whenever you want.”

“Then, well, do you want to trade places?”

“Hah, I’ve already come too far for that. There are the… employees under me, too. I have a sense of responsibility for my job in many ways. I can’t quit. That’s why I say the end is Predetermined. As long as I can’t give this up, my future is obvious.”

At my suggestion that he should stop drinking and go to sleep even now, the Ajje Customer said he wouldn’t be able to sleep even if he lay down now because he took stimulants, so it was better to just stay awake - saying that staying up all night like this wasn’t a one-or-two-day thing anyway - and continued speaking.

“My future… is fucking obvious. Anyone could see it if they saw me popping handfuls of stimulants and working for days and nights on end without sleep. I cover it up with makeup when I go in front of others, but my Dark Circles have come down to my chin, my skin is completely cracked and breaking out, I get headaches and nosebleeds, and a tooth even fell out a while ago. I look ten years older than my actual age. If it weren’t for the bottle of pills I take a day and the Hormone Injections, I would have collapsed from overwork and had a heart Attack a long time ago.”

Beep, the results are in. Unless I receive the Top-tier Life Extension Modification Procedure, I’ll wander from Clinic to Clinic with a broken body, Leave only my wealth to my Family, and die of a heart Attack and Chronic Illness, starting ten years from now. I’ll become a nonexistent entity that no one remembers and scatter into dust, remaining in this pitiful state, unloved by anyone.”

“…”

“Ah, whatever. Don’t make that face like you don’t know how to react, just laugh. I think that would make me feel better. Let’s just laugh and drink. That’s what I came here for.”

Having said that, the Ajje Customer downed the hard liquor like water.

If I hadn’t known, maybe, but after hearing that, he looked incredibly unstable.

Wouldn’t it be a real disaster if he got alcohol poisoning with that body? We might end up having to clear a corpse out of our bar.

Of course, it’s not like we haven’t had that experience before.

“…Wouldn’t you still live a few more years if you quit drinking?”

“Hah, I can see why you’re still an Apprentice. Is that something a Bartender should say, when you should be selling even one more glass? Aaron, you need to have some Professionalism.”

Good grief.

I said it out of concern, but the retort I got back left me utterly dumbfounded.

I have to Admit it. This Customer is a pretty funny guy.