Chapter 258
The time was about a month and a half ago.
Trembling in fear, not knowing when or where the Cyborg Ninja might appear again to attack me, I had sought advice from the Legendary Ronin, the self-proclaimed expert in anti-ninja warfare, Chairman.
I still remember what the Chairman said back then.
[You don’t need to care about the imposters who only pretend to be ninjas. The important ones are the true ninjas… Honestly, even I’m a little scared of them. But there’s a way! Listen closely. It’s an underground secret that not many people know. When you meet these bloodthirsty bastards, the most important thing is…]
“Is?”
[Aisatsu (Greeting).]
I naturally thought it was bullshit.
An Underground Secret, and it’s a greeting?
“Ah, seriously. I’m asking because I genuinely need help. This isn’t the time for jokes. You know I was attacked. I almost died!”
[Oh? Are you not believing me right now? Hey, I’m not joking either. I’m being serious, serious! Sounds like a lie, right? Someday, you might save your life with the high-grade information you’re hearing from me right now. Just pretend you’re being fooled and listen for once.]
“No, the Cyborg Ninja I met didn’t do any greetings, and there wasn’t even time for it.”
[Then I guess that guy wasn’t a true ninja! Or you should have somehow offered the Aisatsu (Greeting) first!]
This damn Aisatsu (Greeting)! What the hell is that!
“No, what kind of nonsense is that?”
[Just keep quiet and listen! Now, regardless of their origin and sect, these guys called ninjas all value etiquette immensely. If those bastards greet you saying, 'Do-mo, Aron-san. I am so-and-so.', you have to return it exactly the same way. Or you take the initiative and do it first. This is incredibly important, got it?
Ninjas will mercilessly kill a rude target who doesn’t accept their greeting, but once you accept the greeting, they will stop their attack midway no matter the situation. Also, if you’re lucky and can communicate, you might be able to resolve things nicely through conversation.]
“No, the Cyborg Ninja didn’t even think about opening its mouth. What conversation are you talking about?”
[Man, you’re frustrating. If you had done the Aisatsu (Greeting) first, it would have opened its mouth! It didn’t speak because you didn’t do it!]
“No, do you think I’d believe that? Who do you think you’re fooling!”
[I’m telling you it’s hontou (real)!!!!!]
I have memories of bickering and arguing with Chairman like that for a long time.
Back then, I didn’t know this would actually be helpful… but surprisingly, Chairman’s words were right.
The greeting etiquette I learned from Chairman saved my life today. If I make it out of here alive, I should prepare some words of gratitude along with a gift.
That is, if I make it out alive.
Sreung -
At the greeting I hastily offered with trembling hands, the Communist Mid-level Ninja dropped from the air and retrieved its katana.
It lightly bowed its head to accept my greeting and spoke. A voice of indistinguishable gender rang out clearly.
“Aron-san! You are a non-ninja who observes etiquette. I have been incredibly rude.”
…We can actually communicate!
With just a single word of greeting, it turned from a bloodthirsty murderer into a polite young ninja.
No, it’s this simple? How many people died by ninjas in the Banquet Hall, and does it make any sense that they all got their heads cut off just because they didn’t know this easy countermeasure?
I felt a bit deflated and dumbfounded, but apart from that, I couldn’t miss this great opportunity.
I carefully spoke to the Communist Mid-level Ninja, who seemed to be in a slightly better mood after meeting an opponent who accepted their greeting for the first time.
“Not at all. I should have accepted the greeting quickly, but I failed to do so. I have a favor to ask… We have an urgent matter, so would it be alright if we passed through here?”
As I asked that and gulped down my saliva in tension, an unexpectedly willing answer returned.
“Mochiron-desu (Of course). I apologize for unintentionally blocking your path. Please pass, Aaron Nakamura-san.”
I’m getting past the opponent I thought was the worst enemy this easily? What kind of luck is this!
At this rate, I don’t even need to hold out for 5 minutes.
I was trying hard to hide the corners of my mouth rising at this incredibly good situation and was about to politely offer a farewell greeting to the Communist Ninja.
“Ah, excuse me. I almost forgot. The Proletariat may pass, but the bourgeois cannot pass. Aron-san is naturally not bourgeoisie, correct?”
The ninja shouted and blocked the path once again.
Damn it, I knew things were working out too easily.
Still, I could answer this question with confidence at least.
“Yes, I am not. Of course.”
What kind of bourgeoisie am I. I’m a beggar, having my life mortgaged to an evil corporation.
Even this bodyguard work, I was blindly dragged into it right now as a temporary worker due to a contract.
Perhaps reading the sincerity in my confident tone and eyes, the Communist Ninja nodded.
“I do not doubt you, but still, a procedure is a procedure… I will ask a few questions for verification. If it is all right, I ask that you answer them.”
With this way of speaking, it seems more like a public official than a ninja.
When I nodded reluctantly, the ninja raised a display from who knows where and asked in a businesslike tone.
“Are you a bourgeois?”
“No.”
“If not, how do you maintain your livelihood?”
“I work as an employee at Isiho Corporation.”
“Isiho! Is that not a truly degenerate dark megacorporation. You must be suffering greatly.”
“Yes, well. Something like that.”
“How many assets do you possess?”
“Uh… hold on a moment. I will show you.”
When I showed the bank asset list on my watch, the ninja briefly scanned it with their eyes and nodded without a word.
It was my hard-earned account where I had diligently saved up my salary and bonuses, but seeing the reaction of 'I believe you. You are indeed a Proletariat.' right after a single glance made me feel somewhat bitter.
I felt relieved that I passed safely, but also a bit depressed wondering if I was so poor that even a Communist Ninja would acknowledge it…
“Where is your current residence?”
“…I am freeloading at a work colleague’s house.”
I hesitated a bit here.
If I honestly answered that it was a penthouse on the 53rd floor of the Kabuki Building, wouldn’t I immediately be treated as bourgeoisie.
So I beat around the bush and said I was freeloading at a work colleague’s house (I didn’t lie), and thankfully, the Communist Ninja didn’t pry any further.
It seemed they were truly just procedural questions.
“That is all. Aron-san. You are indeed of the Working Class. This New-Mecha Komu Chunin Guarantees it!”
Jo Aron receives the Worker Certification Mark!
The sight of the commie ninja vigorously giving a thumbs-up with its gloved hand felt somewhat friendly. Had I grown attached to it in that short time…
I smiled amiably and asked.
“Then, may we get going now?”
“Of course. I have held you up for quite a long time. You said you had an emergency matter, correct? Please pass quickly!”
Nice! I was rejoicing and pulling Alexandra’s hand, trying to hurry past before it changed its mind.
“Ah, excuse me.”
The ninja spoke up once again.
As I wondered why it was excusing itself so often and what it was this time, my annoyed feelings coldly sank with a thud at the words that followed.
“The only one allowed to pass is you, Aron-san. From the other person… sniff, I smell the smell of bourgeoisie. My decisive sense of smell is never wrong. Verification will undoubtedly be necessary.”
Oh, damn it.
I got a free pass. But Alexandra was the problem.
Would it even be possible for that Young Lady Schneider, who must have lived a luxurious life without ever having to worry about money her entire life, to pass the communist ninja’s test?
Naturally, the Q&A between the Communist Ninja and Alexandra began.
In between, Alexandra tried to lie to escape the crisis, but the New-Mecha Komuninja demanded only an honest answer, as if it had a lie detector built into its body.
And so, the result that popped out.
It was exactly as I had worried. It was absolutely disastrous.
“Are you a bourgeois?”
“I am not. I am a noble of the Schneider Family. There is a strict difference between the status of a capitalist and a hereditary noble.”
“How do you maintain your livelihood?”
“Livelihood? Hmm… my butler manages the account for my living expenses and maintaining dignity. Ah, and an allowance account for my hobby life too. Though the amount has decreased recently due to disciplinary action.”
“How many assets do you possess?”
“Umm… first, there is a Model '01 Albatross Aerodyne that my father bought for me, and ah, I think I heard that a small building in Dollarville was recently purchased under my name. And also…”
At that point, the ninja closed the display with a snap, cutting off Alexandra’s words.
“There is no need to hear any more. My conclusion is this.”
Somehow, I feel like I know what the conclusion is…
I let out a deep sigh. I knew it was going too easily.
In that tense moment, the ninja suddenly shouted in a loud voice, as if having a seizure.
“Shine!!!!!! It means dieeeeeee!!! New-Mecha Communism Banzai! Only death for the capitalists!!!!”
Oh, damn it.
Clang - - - !
The katana, swung like lightning, clashed with the Escort Supply Greatsword, sending sparks flying.