Chapter 32
After some time had passed, the clock was already nearing one.
Hyunwoo had left the house because he had a part-time job, leaving me alone again, just like yesterday.
I was just lying around on Hyunwoo's bed.
Just before Hyunwoo headed out to work, he'd put a phone in my hand, and now I was staring blankly at its empty screen.
No matter how I looked, the only things on the otherwise empty screen were the camera and social media apps.
I wondered how this was even possible.
There had to be default apps that couldn't be deleted...
'Hyunwoo said he'd deleted everything, but...'
When I opened the only app left, I saw that it had exactly one profile saved, meaning I could only contact Hyunwoo.
Since it was an extra phone, it couldn't access the internet either, so this meant I could only send texts through this app.
In other words, once I left the house, the internet would cut out, leaving this phone with nothing but its camera.
And the reason he'd gotten me this so-called 'phone' was...
'Minseo. While I'm not home, I need to know you're okay, so take a picture every hour and send it with a text.'
Because of what happened yesterday, which had heightened Hyunwoo's anxiety, I had to report my condition to him every hour.
...Ever since he got out of the army, his methods seem to have gotten pretty forceful?
Is this how they check on people in the military these days?
Not like I'd know, since I've never served...
Anyway, the first hour Hyunwoo had mentioned was approaching.
It was almost exactly one, so I had to take a picture to send Hyunwoo.
'But how am I supposed to take a selfie...?'
If I had internet access, at least I could search for tips.
People like me don't use a phone's camera to take pictures of ourselves...
Besides, it wasn't even my original appearance, and taking a selfie as a little girl like this...
Well, I guess I could say this is my original appearance now.
I wasn't used to it at all, and it felt strange, like I was showing off by thinking I was cute.
Objectively speaking, it was no different from putting on a VR avatar, standing in front of a mirror alone, and taking a screenshot. A shameful act.
Still, it was necessary to ease Hyunwoo's worries, so I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed.
"It's just a picture... Just a picture so he can check on me..."
Muttering that, I opened the camera app.
It was set up to show my face in reverse as soon as I opened it, as if advertising itself as a selfie camera.
Everything was ready so all I had to do was press the button in the middle, and somehow that took the wind out of me.
Click!
A moment later, the phone's shutter sounded, and a single photo was taken.
Worried I'd seem vain, I didn't check it and quickly moved on.
'So, I send it to Hyunwoo by text...'
Then I immediately sent the photo to Hyunwoo.
I confirmed it had gone through and finally let out a relieved sigh.
'...Huh? Wait a second.'
Something felt off, so I looked at the sent photo again.
The image looked as if the girl I'd seen in the mirror had been slightly warped.
It was so different from the way I knew I looked.
I mean, maybe because I took it from too close, my head looked way too big?
My eyes looked far apart... and my forehead looked huge...
This is weird...! The whole thing looks incredibly weird.
- Cute
- (emoticon)
And as if to tease me, Hyunwoo sent a reply with a laughing-cat emoticon.
'He's definitely making fun of me, right?'
I could feel my face tense with resentment.
I mean... how would I know how to take a good picture if I'd never taken one before?
And what kind of response was "Cute" when I said it was just for him to check on me?
I felt like I was about to cry, thinking this exchange had done nothing but hurt me.
- Oh, right
- This is also to stop you from hurting yourself or trying to kill yourself
- So try to get your whole body in the shot
- You could have hurt yourself somewhere that wouldn't show in a selfie
"......"
Whether or not he knew I was suffering, Hyunwoo sent me another request.
I had a lot I wanted to say, but it all sounded reasonable.
His unexpectedly logical explanation even convinced me.
If the situation were reversed, I'd probably worry that he might die, too.
'But then, do I have to take the picture with all my clothes off?'
I had no idea.
Just how much of myself was I supposed to show in the picture?
I considered texting Hyunwoo to ask, but held back, worried it would make me look like I was getting weirdly self-conscious about it.
After all, Hyunwoo was asking me to send pictures so he could check on my actual physical condition...
If I texted him out of nowhere saying I was embarrassed to show him my body, he'd think I was a weirdo.
'Hmm... is this right...?'
Still, sending a picture of my entire body was embarrassing, so even after taking off my clothes, I hesitated a little.
I stood in front of the mirror with my phone, but...
'This is giving me an incredible amount of guilt...'
Even if this was my body now, taking a picture of a naked girl in the mirror reeked of criminal behavior.
I agonized over it for a long time, then suddenly had a flash of inspiration.
A selfie method I'd heard had once set the internet on fire...
Covering my chest with my fingers, then adjusting the angle of my fingers and the camera to cover my lower half in the mirror.
Known as the one-finger... thing.
'Oh. It works.'
It was still embarrassing, but a hundred times better than not covering myself at all.
Then, with newfound confidence, I sent it to Hyunwoo.
'It's not like Hyunwoo looks at me that way anyway.'
Thinking about it that way made me feel even less embarrassed.
I was surprised at how readily I could adapt and accept it as a health check.
Maybe he really was worried about me, because Hyunwoo checked the message in less than two minutes.
He didn't reply, perhaps because he was busy working.
'...Would it be stranger if he did?'
As I was thinking that, my phone went ding.
Startled by the sudden vibration, I hurriedly checked it and saw Hyunwoo was calling.
I wondered what was going on, but answered right away.
"Hey, Kim Minseo...! Are you insane? When did I ever ask you to publicly humiliate me?"
Hyunwoo shouted at me in a panic, berating me.
His voice was so loud and harsh whenever he got angry that I felt a sudden jolt of fear.
I felt a strange tremble in my body, caught between resentment that he was angry when I'd only done what he told me, and fear.
"W-Why... I was just doing what you told me..."
"I never told you to do that...! I never asked you to take a nude picture and send it to me, okay?!"
"But... you said I might have hurt myself somewhere you couldn't see..."
"Anything serious would show through your clothes... and little things small enough to hide could easily be checked once you got back. Huh?"
...Now that he said that, it made sense.
In the end, I'd overinterpreted Hyunwoo's words on my own, taken a rather... compromising picture, and sent it to his phone.
'I should've just asked him...'
I started resenting myself for not asking because I was embarrassed, and deciding on my own to go through with it.
Was this why he told me to ask him and talk things through before acting?
If I thought about it, from other people's perspective, our relationship probably wouldn't seem normal.
"I'm sorry, Hyunwoo..."
In the end, all I could do was admit I'd done wrong and apologize, so I did.
I heard a deep sigh from the other end of the phone.
Still, I was glad that if nobody else found out, we could pass it off as a mishap.
"Anyway, be more careful... The boss just caught me, and I almost got fired."
"...Yeah."
Though if I'd gotten caught and fired, that would've been the least of my worries.
Looking at my picture again, it was the kind of thing that would leave me with no excuse if I were arrested on the spot.
How should I put it?
Since I'd struck that pose to cover myself in this halfhearted way, it somehow looked more criminal than if I hadn't covered anything...
"Sorry..."
I apologized once more, and the call ended soon after.
I was dazed at the thought that I'd nearly ruined Hyunwoo's life by causing him trouble over something stupid.
After I sat there blankly for several minutes, I began to feel a little calmer.
'...Maybe I need to be a little more honest with my feelings.'
I might keep dismissing my shame and other feelings for all sorts of reasons, and end up doing something unreasonable that puts Hyunwoo in a difficult position.
Thinking about how Hyunwoo must have felt when he saw the photo made me feel really sorry, too.
Maybe it felt like he'd just seen some horrifying image in real time?
- I'm sorry
The guilt was too hard to shake off, so I carefully sent him another apology by text.
- No, I'm sorry for getting angry
Hyunwoo's warm message came to me right after, and something in my chest seemed to go all warm and fuzzy.
It must have been gratitude, gathered up and tickling my heart.
'When Hyunwoo comes back... I'll thank him.'
Because now, I needed to be honest with my feelings.