Chapter 12
“I've never been to a place like this before.”
“Really? If you're scared, want your big sis to hold your hand?”
“……”
We came to an upscale Korean restaurant.
A place you wouldn't visit unless it was a special occasion—and even then, you might not dare make a reservation.
“Have you been here before, Sis?”
“Hmm… Once or twice, for meetings with business clients from overseas?”
She's definitely more grown-up than me.
Is having been to a fancy restaurant really a good way to measure adulthood?
Anyway, following the staff member's directions, we walked down the hallway and reached a room in the back.
When I opened the door, I saw two familiar faces.
Mom and Dad.
“You’re here.”
“Our daughter! You must be tired from coming all this way~ Come sit down!”
“Mooom~”
A moving reunion between mother and daughter.
I don't expect that kind of welcome.
“You must’ve had a hard time driving. Traffic was probably bad.”
“Yeah, a little.”
A few short words like Dad's are enough for me.
“Come sit down! The food’ll get cold.”
“It just came out, so it’s still warm. Take your time.”
Like Dad said, traffic was a little bad on the way, so Sis and I were a bit late.
The meal laid out in the meantime was a real feast.
On neatly arranged plates were colorful side dishes, and in the middle sat steaming braised short ribs.
“There’ll be more food coming, so take your time. Hyuna, want some porridge first? Here, try this too. You like wild chives, don’t you?”
“Mom, you’ll give your daughter indigestion. Don’t worry, just eat with Dad.”
Mom, whom we hadn’t seen in a while, was completely occupied taking care of Sis.
Knowing she wasn't ignoring me, I quietly sat beside Sis.
As always, the meal began with Mom and Dad showing off their loving marriage.
“Kids’ mom, here.”
“Aah—”
Dad fed Mom a little wrap of seasoned greens.
Glancing to the side, I saw Sis staring at them.
Jealous?
Just as I thought that, Sis turned her head and our eyes met.
“……”
“…?”
Sis didn’t say anything, but her piercing gaze spoke for her.
‘What are you doing?’
What... she wanted me to feed her right now, in front of Mom and Dad?
That’d be a little weird. Could you hold off for now, okay?
In the peculiar tug-of-war between our gazes, Mom, having finished her bite, cut in.
“Hyunjun, you should learn from your dad, too! You’re still so stiff and, honestly…”
“Learn what?”
“You just saw him. Here, practice on your sister.”
Excuse me?
“Practice! Practice is great, Mom.”
“Look, your sister’s waiting with her mouth wide open. Hurry up and make her a wrap.”
“No, I mean…”
“Hyunjun.”
Dad joined in with a word of his own.
I could almost hear Dad saying, Just close your eyes and do it for her.
“…All right.”
“I-I want this. Wrap the shoots and meat together~”
Sis happily picked out the side dishes she liked.
Following her lead with my chopsticks, I made a neat little wrap that would fit in one bite.
“Aaaah—”
Smiling from ear to ear, Sis opened her mouth, and I popped it right in.
What kind of practice was that? Of course, practice was just an excuse.
This was simply Mom's wish to see Sis smile a little more.
I might be taciturn, but I can read the room that well.
“Is it good?”
“Mmm.”
Sis smiled at me as she chewed. She was beautiful.
…I could understand Mom's wish, at least a little.
“There. Can we eat now?”
“Sure. Eat plenty.”
“You too, Hyuna!”
“Yeees~”
***
From greens and meat to fish and rice cooked in an iron pot.
The meal was winding down, a modest indulgence for a couple's wedding anniversary.
Strawberries, rice cakes, and sujeonggwa came out for dessert.
I was thinking I should give Sis the strawberries since she liked them, when Dad called me.
“Hyunjun. If you’re done eating, take a short walk with me.”
“Huh? Yes.”
I hadn’t done anything to get in trouble for, but being alone with Dad made me nervous for no reason.
I got up and followed Dad outside, saying one thing to Sis as I went.
“You eat the strawberries.”
I followed Dad, who had already put his shoes on, out of the room and outside the restaurant.
Dad headed to a corner of the little garden beside the parking lot.
The name of the area, fitted with an ashtray and partitions, was written on the wall.
‘Smoking Area’
“Are you… going to smoke?”
“……”
Dad silently took out a lighter and lit a cigarette. It was strange to see.
I’d heard that Dad had been a heavy smoker, but quit immediately after hearing Mom was pregnant with Sis.
“Phew…”
“……”
“Your mom’s been crying every day lately. She’s so upset.”
“……”
“She cried this morning, too. Right up until we left.”
The acrid cigarette smoke stung my nose.
But it was Dad, not me, who turned away.
I couldn’t see his expression as he gazed into the distance, but…
“You know your sister takes after your mom, right?”
“I know.”
“Has Hyuna ever cried in front of you?”
“No.”
“Then do you think she’s never cried?”
“…No.”
Sis’s hand, which I’d held in the supermarket, had been damp with sweat.
She was someone who could smile so beautifully over a tiny wrap.
How frightening must it be, knowing she has at most a year left?
How unfair, upsetting… and sad must it feel?
“I heard. That you decided to live with your sister and take care of her.”
It sounded like he’d heard something that wasn’t quite true, but I kept my mouth shut.
“You’re doing a lot. Call me if you need spending money or anything.”
“I’m okay.”
Dad finished the cigarette in no time.
He ground it out in the ashtray, then let out one last deep sigh.
“Hoo…”
“Still, I’m taking good care of Sis. We do things together as long as it’s not too much for her.”
“…Is that so?”
“Yes.”
I wasn’t trying to brag about how well I was doing. I just… wanted him to know Sis was doing well.
So he wouldn’t worry too much.
“Take good care of her. So you won’t have any regrets later.”
“……”
“Let’s go in.”
So you won’t have any regrets later.
Later, if…
If Sis went far away, I’d definitely regret it.
No matter how much more I did for her or how hard I tried, I couldn’t be sure I wouldn’t regret it.
Still, starting today, I’d try to lessen my future regrets in advance.
Starting with the little regrets, one at a time.
As it happened, I could think of something I could do right away.
“Go on in first. I’m going to use the restroom.”
“Okay.”
Dad passed the room where we’d eaten and headed down the hall toward the restroom.
I took off my shoes and went back into the room.
Sis, who’d been chatting with Mom over a sip of sujeonggwa, looked at me and smiled,
“Hon…! A-ahem. Hey.”
What was with that awkward, suspicious greeting?
Wasn’t she being a little careless? Mom was right in front of us.
“Where’s Dad?”
“He went to the restroom.”
I sat back down in my seat, beside Sis.
There are so many future regrets I could prevent with my own efforts, and one of them is—
I should’ve held her hand more often.
“…!”
I gently laid my hand over Sis’s, which was under the table.
I slipped my fingers between her warm, soft ones and held on.
Maybe startled, Sis’s hand gave a small twitch and trembled, but she didn’t seem to want to pull away.
“I’m full. Mom, you can have this rice cake.”
“I’m full too, so I’m okay.”
“Then do you want it, Sis?”
“H-huh? W-what?”
What was with her?
Her face turned red just because I’d held her hand a little.
Sis reacting like this was making me more flustered.
“The rice cake.”
“Rice cake…?”
“Do you want it or not?”
To bring her back to her senses, I squeezed her hand a little tighter.
I mean, she was the one who’d asked to hold hands first, all the way back at the movies.
Rattle—
The door opened behind Sis, who still couldn’t give me a straight answer.
It was Dad.
“If you’re done, let’s go. I paid.”
“Hyuna, take that rice cake home with you. You said it was good earlier, didn’t you?”
“Huh? O-oh… yes.”
Why couldn’t she answer when she’d been eating it just fine, saying it was good?
Anyway, it was time to leave, so I let go of the hand we’d been holding with our fingers laced together and stood up.
Sis got up awkwardly, put on her shoes, and stood beside me.
“Get home safely, okay, sweetheart?”
“Mm-hmm, Mom. It’s your anniversary, so have fun with Dad.”
“What fun could I have with that taciturn man…”
Mom grumbled, watching Dad, who’d already walked far ahead, but the corners of her mouth were slightly raised.
Maybe it was just my imagination, but her eyes seemed a little red.
“Hyunjun, you too… take care.”
“Yes.”
Mom must’ve had a mountain of things she wanted to say, but she smiled, turned, and followed Dad out.
Putting all those words off until next time must mean she wanted to see us again, and hoped she would.
“Let’s go, too.”
“……”
I told Sis, standing beside me, that it was time to go, but something seemed a little off.
She had one hand pressed to her chest and was quietly exhaling.
My heart sank.
“W-what is it? Did you forget to take your medicine earlier?”
“Ah… n-no, I took it…”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“…It’s nothing. I’m fine, so let’s go.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I-I’m fine! Really.”
Since she said she was fine, I shouldn’t worry too much for no reason.
Mom and Dad had probably gotten in the car by now… and there was no chance anyone we knew would be around.
I tried taking Sis’s hand again.
“……”
“……”
Since Sis wasn’t saying anything, it was hard for me to bring something up, too.
What had I been about to say?
Ah… right. I was going to tell her I had work tomorrow.
“You know I have work tomorrow, right?”
“Mm-hmm…”
Her answer trailed off a little, and there was a reason for it.
She hesitated, then swallowed hard as if she’d made a big decision, and called out,
“I’ll make you a lunch tomorrow!”
I remembered something she’d said in passing.
‘I want to make my husband meals. I want to pack him lunch, too!’
But with Sis’s cooking skills, a packed lunch…
“A packed lunch…?”
One day, I might regret saying, ‘I should’ve let her make that lunch.’
…Or maybe I’d regret, ‘I should’ve turned that lunch down for sure.’
Still, it’s better to try and regret it than to regret never trying.
“…Okay.”
“You can look forward to it! Mom gave me some recipes earlier.”
If they were Mom’s recipes, I could trust them.
Of course, that didn’t mean I could relax. I might be the one who needed to brace myself.
Whatever it was, it had to be better than last time’s janchi-guksu… the noodles that deserved to be called ‘underworld noodles’ more than janchi-guksu.
“All right.”
As we walked hand in hand toward the parking lot, I thought a short answer was a little cold to someone who’d gone to the trouble of offering to pack my lunch.
So I added something, just because.
“I’m looking… forward to it, honey.”
“Th-then, look forward to it!”
Did Sis have any digestive medicine at home?
Should I bring some before work, or stop by a convenience store and buy it…
As I fretted over pointless things, Sis added a word half a beat later.
“…Honey.”