Chapter 83
Undergraduates, research slaves, staff, and professors alike.
At the phenomenon of their average comprehension forming a steep upward curve….
“I should send a letter to His Majesty.”
The academy’s upper administration viewed it somewhat negatively.
Especially Empress Dowager Aurelia, who was the academy’s chairwoman, was deeply concerned.
“Prepare a carriage and an express owl. The carriage is for visiting His Majesty, and the owl is to deliver this letter to the Papal See.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
Students enrolled at the academy came from every corner of the Empire—and even included crown princes from foreign countries.
Therefore, for anyone plotting to overthrow a nation or targeting the family of a particular undergraduate… there was no better place than the academy for sowing chaos.
“My grandson-in-law….”
Would the Emperor really have stamped his approval on the all-weather academy uniform project Akion brought for no reason?
And the all-weather academy uniform Akion completed… was more than excellent. It was incredible.
Yet the espresso coffee beverage associated with him had transformed the people of the academy.
“Your Highness. The carriage is ready.”
“Let’s go.”
The moment they drank it, they became so intelligent that “awakening” was the perfect word,
but the drawback was that they became terribly tired the moment the effect wore off.
And… they were beginning to develop a high level of dependence.
Wasn’t that just like a drug that was bad for the body?
“Please tell me it isn’t….”
The Empress Dowager prayed and prayed that Akion hadn’t done something reckless.
*
“So this is that espresso thing.”
The Papal See went into emergency mode upon hearing the news.
Because Akion Enerysis was involved—the great, wonderful, handsome Akion Enerysis, whom they had even secretly considered elevating to sainthood,
and who had made the Holy Light Sword, that oh-my-goodness insanely awesome weapon!!
Therefore, an emergency meeting was held with the Empress Dowager, the Saint, and even the Pope all in attendance.
The Saintess was excluded because she was guarding Akion, and because she too might have been hypnotized without anyone realizing it.
“It was made with the espresso machine that the Saint himself worked on, wasn’t it?”
“Was there anything unusual about that magic tool?”
“Nothing. Just in case, one of the inspectors wore a tinfoil hat… but we detected no drugs, black magic, or other impure influences whatsoever.”
Before them sat eight cups of espresso the paladins had secretly purchased.
“But I distinctly remember ordering you to buy ten… Why are there two missing?”
“Well……”
In fact, two of the paladins who had been bringing them back had drunk them.
The reason they had done something so dangerous during an investigation conducted in the name of the Heavenly Lord was….
“They said it must be black holy water blessed by the Saint, so they drank it.”
“Good heavens….”
“They’re currently doing squats in the underground prison, fully awake….”
“Heavenly Lord, have mercy….”
Akion, and the magic tool.
Those two keywords had made them drink it out of curiosity, thinking, “It’s the Saint’s stuff, so it must be good enough to die for, right?”
In fact, the effect was so good that they were doing bodyweight training while locked in prison.
“Ngh….”
What a disgrace, especially with an imperial elder present.
The Pope rubbed his throbbing brow and took control of the situation.
“Let’s assume it’s a powerful drug, strong enough to sway even paladins, and analyze it accordingly.”
For now, they had to start with suspicion.
They had no choice: dark mages also practiced alchemy, so there was no telling what unknown poison they might have used.
“Has everyone put on a tinfoil hat? Let’s watch one another’s condition closely.”
And so, under the policy of proceeding cautiously, they began analyzing the espresso.
“The aroma is… excellent. No, it doesn’t appear to be toxic.”
“Sister Aria. How does it taste?”
“The umami is incredible— ahem. I don’t detect any dangerous taste in particular.”
As a control group, the clergy who did not drink espresso wore tinfoil hats; half of those who drank it wore tinfoil hats, while the rest did not, and they compared their experiences with one another.
And the drinkers’ unanimous opinion was,
“Delicious….”
“It’s so delicious….”
Damn it, unbelievably,
it suited their tastes perfectly!
“Ahhh, hallelujah….”
“Amen….”
Forget the awakening effect—it was simply so delicious that some of them even shed tears.
The Pope and the Saint, who had been watching from the sidelines, blinked and looked at each other.
“There doesn’t seem to be any poison….”
“It seems that way to me as well….”
Since holy power flowed through the bodies of the clergy, divine healing would instinctively activate if something harmed them.
But there was no sign of that whatsoever….
“More, more espresso!!”
“Aaaagh!! Heavenly Lord, why are You giving me a trial like this?!!!”
“I-if I drink any more of this, I definitely won’t sleep tonight… Grrrk!!”
If anything, their holy power had become even more active, and weren’t they about to run amok?
“P-please calm down! Cardinal, please!”
“The Heavenly Lord’s grace is melting even deeper into my bodyaaagh! Aiiimeeeeen!!!”
While the waiting paladins sweated bullets and restrained them,
the Saint and the Pope also picked up the remaining espresso.
“Saint.”
“Mm. Let’s try it.”
The Pope drank first, and the Saint drank a few seconds later in preparation for any unforeseen circumstances.
“Oh my.”
“Ohooo….”
And both of them marveled at the thick, rich flavor of the espresso curling around inside their mouths.
Both of them had tried drip coffee as well.
The flavor had been very sweet at the time, but some component in it had induced excessive alertness, so they had chosen to exercise restraint.
“Quite… excellent.”
“Indeed. Heh heh.”
But this was almost too delicious, wasn’t it?
The Catholicism of this world generally did not encourage heavily seasoned food. Thus, most of their dishes were rather mild,
and the only things they believed ought to be excessive were their faith in the Heavenly Lord and the strength they used to beat evil to death….
But this, with a spoonful of sugar added, was so blissful it was practically lethal.
- Kiiing…!
“Saint. Your halo…?”
“Huh? Why is it doing that on its own?!”
It tasted good,
it was good for activating holy power,
and on top of that….
[Ah, that looks delicious… Seeing that makes me want a vanilla latte….]
“……?”
[Dolce lattes are good too, and a toffee-nut latte would be delicious…. Ugh…! Maybe I should ask them to offer some as tribute….]
“Heavenly Lord?”
[Hmm?]
They had not even performed an oracle ritual, yet He had connected them to the Heavenly Lord!
And not only that—they could hear the Heavenly Lord’s voice directly!!
The diction was somewhat flippant compared to during the oracle, but the profound divinity in that voice made it unmistakably their Heavenly Lord.
“……Saint. Can you hear Him?”
“So I wasn’t the only one hearing Him.”
The Pope, and even the Saint.
The two of them sprang to their feet,
- BOOM!!
“We behold the Heavenly Lord, who pities and watches over us, His creations!!!”
“Hallelujah─!!”
[Ah.]
They immediately fell to their knees and began crying out prayers and hymns.
“W-what is happening?!”
“We’ve connected to the Heavenly Lord!! How could this not be a blessed occasion?!”
“W-w-w-w-what?!! Something so impossibly enviable…?!!!!”
“Ahhh, hallelu-jah!!”
And both the Saint and the Pope immediately cast aside their suspicions of Akion.
How could anything wicked happen to Akion, who had even received a sign from the Heavenly Lord?!
It was their own fault for refusing to believe and holding this meeting; Saint-in-the-making Akion Enerysis was completely blameless!!
“Aiiimeeeeen!! Aiiimeeeeen─!!”
“Almighty Heavenly Lord, we are forever grateful for Your tender mercy!!”
“S-so there’s nothing wrong with our grandson-in-law, right…?”
Amid the clergy’s happy frenzy and the Empress Dowager’s flustered yet relieved mood,
[Ah… this time it’s a connection bug….]
The Heavenly Lord quietly shed tears so that the clergy would not hear.
*
A few days later.
“Um….”
Ariba Irgacepe, owner of the academy café, was hauled to the Papal See by paladins.
When they first seized him, he had trembled in fear that he might be interrogated,
“You want me to open a branch inside the Papal See?”
“That’s right.”
One of the highest authorities in Catholicism, the Saint, had suddenly appeared and asked him to open a café branch.
Ariba was confused.
“We know that we haven’t looked favorably upon coffee.”
The reason the Irgacepe Viscountate had been unable to grow coffee trees on a large scale was the clergy’s quietly spreading aversion to coffee.
Calling it outright hatred was a bit much, but the clergy had gone around saying that “drugs are bad for the body,” coffee included, and the resulting damage had not been insignificant.
“So you’ve heard that Viscount Irgacepe suffered quite a loss.”
“Then why are you only coming to us now…?”
“Because after drinking espresso, we realized that we were wrong.”
It was hard to view such people favorably when they suddenly changed their tune and asked, “Will you sell it to us?”
But Ariba was a man from a viscount’s family who sold coffee because he loved coffee.
“Will you accept our apology?”
“The Saint himself has shown such sincerity as to come out and apologize personally. How could I refuse?”
He was also a small-business owner capable of setting aside his personal feelings for the sake of the coffee industry.
Clerics accepting and drinking espresso?
Just that alone would make them look so much better to the common people!
“I’m sorry to ask your forgiveness like this.”
“Not at all, not at all. I’m truly grateful that you came to understand, even if it was late…!”
Coffee culture would spread even more firmly, including among the wealthy merchant class,
and before long, alongside tea, it would become a lunchtime staple throughout the Empire!!
“As an apology, we would like to cover the cost of opening the branch, and establish a branch academy in the Irgacepe Viscountate.”
“Y-you don’t have to go that far.”
“And in the Pope’s name, I will proclaim that coffee is not dangerous.”
“Gasp.”
Ariba had never expected them to go so far as to endorse it in the Pope’s name.
“The paladins have kept visiting your café lately, haven’t they? The Pope sent them on errands. This proclamation also contains a little of the Pope’s personal interest.”
“Gasp.”
The paladin who bought that espresso was someone the Pope had sent on an errand?
And on top of that, the reason he was proclaiming that coffee was good also included his own personal motives???
‘Professor Akion!!! We did it!!!’
“I-I’ll contact Professor Akion immediately!”
“Ahem. I’m counting on you. The Saint finds it somewhat burdensome when we get involved.”
“Oh! Understood! I’ll keep the Catholic Church completely out of the story and handle it myself, so just leave it to me!!!”
It was the moment Ariba’s dream came true.
For Akion, it was less a dream than an accident—though not technically an accident. Anyway.
Of course.