Chapter 37
I picked up the can of cola lying on the floor in a rather awkward posture.
It wasn't because I had suddenly recalled my days in South Korea and wanted to experience life on the floor again.
It was simply because I couldn't see a single proper piece of furniture in the home where Rivera's family lived.
Thank goodness there was at least a sofa that looked as if it had been picked up somewhere (with a broken spring), because otherwise, I would have had to sit directly on the concrete floor, with dirt and pebbles rolling around on it.
‘……This is a home?’
That was the thought that came to me involuntarily.
Honestly, I hadn't even expected a house in an ideal location with mountains behind and water in front, a warm ondol floor, or a newly built south-facing apartment in the Seoul metropolitan area─.
At this rate, it seemed like it could put up a good fight against the enormous garbage can Michael had lived in.
‘…Looks like there's no electricity, either.’
Even the warehouse attached to the grocery store as a complimentary amenity had electricity, for crying out loud.
A broken light, the sort one might see hanging from the ceiling of an Instagram-worthy café, dangled overhead.
It probably wasn't just my imagination that made it look like a hanged person.
It was enough to make even me feel depressed just looking at it.
(Even though there was no refrigerator,) I tried to shake off my bitter feelings by taking a sip of the cold cola.
But as I watched the children eagerly peering at me through the doorway, which didn't even have a door, my pity only grew stronger.
But then.
“…He just looks like a scary old man.”
“I told you, I definitely heard it.”
“Hmm, is he really that bad….”
The children's faces, which should have been the most gloomy of all, didn't have a single shadow on them.
Whisper, whisper.
They chattered among themselves about things I couldn't understand.
I felt as though I had come to a kindergarten.
Even though the facilities were so poor that the local homeless people would have clicked their tongues at them.
While I was seriously debating whether to put the empty cola can on the floor or keep holding it.
“…Excuse me.”
Before I knew it, all the children who had been outside the doorway had gathered in front of me.
Without making the slightest sound.
‘…Whoa, that startled me.’
I thought my heart had stopped.
But I did my best not to show any sign of surprise on the outside.
There are no creatures more sensitive to an adult's emotions than children.
If I showed displeasure at how their faces were exactly the same, it could leave a deep wound in the children's hearts.
That didn't mean I hadn't been surprised.
I calmed my pounding heart and nodded calmly.
“What's the matter?”
““…….””
Dozens of eyes stared straight at me.
There were more children than I had expected.
About twenty, perhaps….
Unlike Rivera, Runrun, and Kanf, these children really were tiny.
Even compared to those three, they were easily a head shorter.
Seeing these actual children made me realize once again how foolish I had been to treat Rivera like a child.
What kind of circumstances had led a group of young—or young-looking—children to live together like this?
- Sis, when is Mom coming home?
- She said she'd be here after ten nights, so don't cry and just go to sleep tonight.
- Sniff….
The contents of such a conversation briefly flashed through my mind.
The tears welling up were an added bonus.
When I rubbed at my reddened eyes, the gathered children tilted their heads in confusion.
“See? I'm telling you, he's just a weird old man.”
“…Is that so?”
The children, all wearing the same face, murmured among themselves, rolled their large eyes as they watched my reaction, and then asked me a question.
“Hmm, are you really Hotdog Man, mister?”
“Ah.”
I found myself completely unable to speak.
I hadn't expected to hear the nickname Hotdog Man again, even after coming all the way here.
No wonder people went to the trouble of visiting a naming office to give themselves a proper name.
“…There probably isn't such a thing as a fake Hotdog Man.”
No matter how strange the world inside a cyberpunk game was, two Hotdog Men could never exist.
But then.
“……That sounds like a lie.”
True to their status as residents of District 49, Risk City's ruthless wasteland, they didn't believe me when I told them the truth, not even for a moment.
“No, Captain talked about Hotdog Man before, too. She said that although his face looked like a villain's, he was as kind inside as a fool.”
“A-a fool?”
“Yeah. She also said she worried whenever you disappeared from sight, like a child left by the roadside, I think.”
“A child left by the roadside…?”
Apparently, my image here was even worse than that of an ordinary five-year-old child.
‘If she means Captain, then maybe….’
As I briefly pictured Rivera's face,
the children's voices grew louder and louder.
“The Hotdog Man I heard about wears clothes as red as ketchup every day of the year, and has a long white beard hanging down like onion sauce.”
“You idiot, that's Santa Claus…!”
With so many children, the room became as noisy as a chaotic marketplace.
They all had the same face, but apparently every one of them had a different personality.
Just as I was about to lose consciousness from the dizzying situation, one child stepped to the front, clapped their hands, and summarized everything.
“No, I'm telling you, it's true! Hotdog Man! The living messiah of District 49 who bestowed food upon us! The one who saved us from waste called protein blocks!”
…What were protein blocks?
No way.
The moment those words came out, the children's mood changed in an instant.
“Protein blocks… grilled mice with burnt shells… rotten, foul-smelling food…. Ugh, my head…!!”
“Hey, they're throwing another fit! Hurry up and put a meat sandwich in their mouth!!”
I hadn't even properly introduced myself, yet I already felt as though my energy was being drained.
That's right.
This was what real ‘children’ were like.
For a moment, I couldn't tell whether I was in an elementary-school classroom or a slum in Risk City.
Just then, a little one broke away from the chattering crowd and poked me in the side.
“Hey, hey, Hotdog Man.”
“…What is it?”
I gave the same answer as before.
The children were still noisily chattering among themselves, so I had to bend my head closer to hear the quiet little one's words.
When I lowered my head, the little one asked a question in a soft whisper.
“So, is Hotdog Man really Captain's boyfriend?”
And at that question.
““…….””
Every child instantly fell silent.
At the same time, every gaze turned toward me.
…Gulp.
A deathly silence began, so quiet that I could clearly hear the sound of someone swallowing.
I realized instinctively.
If I honestly answered no, it would cause a problem, and if I lied to stay alive, that would create an entirely new problem.
And then.
“…Why has it gotten so quiet in here again?”
The silence remained until the other three returned after finishing their brief conversation.
I never expected their arrival to feel so welcome.
All those identical little faces simply stared at me, and it was more frightening than any horror movie I had ever seen in my life.
“All right, all right, the adults have something to discuss separately. Kids, don't bother our guest. Let's go take a nap inside.”
“…Runrun's a kid too!”
“Now, now, come back and talk to me once you've cleared at least 150 centimeters.”
“Just you wait!!”
What was this, an acorn-height measuring contest….
Still, seeing everyone gathered together made it clear just how much larger Rivera, Kanf, and Runrun were than the other children.
Though, to me, they all looked more or less the same.
The children who had crowded around us filed out one after another, leaving only four people, including me, in the shabby room.
Until then, Rivera had been sitting with her head bowed in silence, but she spoke to her younger siblings.
“Um, could we talk just the two of us for a moment?”
“…Huh? Captain, didn't you say you felt awkward being alone with Hotdog Man just a moment ag─.”
“Got it. We'll step out for a while.”
Kanf dragged Runrun out of the room by the scruff of their neck, even though Runrun had clearly wanted to add a few more words.
The merciless maneuver caused a small commotion among the children who had been trying to sneak a look at us from beyond the doorway.
The room fell quiet in the blink of an eye.
We moved awkwardly, like broken machines.
I tried to get up from the old sofa where I had been sitting alone, while Rivera silently attempted to sit down on the concrete floor.
“No, that concrete floor is filthy. How can you just sit there….”
“You don't have to get up! You can just stay sitting there….”
We stopped speaking at the same time.
There was only one sofa, after all.
It seemed we were in a situation where we had to reach an unspoken agreement for each other's sake.
“…….”
“…….”
As usual, I looked down at Rivera sitting beside me and gave an awkward little cough.
No, if this had really been like usual, I would have already put her on my lap.
Even this was still a distance between us.
Anyway.
Rivera fidgeted with her fingers as though she had committed some terrible mistake.
Seeing her like that, I first thought that this really was the Rivera I knew.
In truth, Rivera hadn't changed at all.
Only my perspective had changed.
I felt as though I could finally understand how people who met Conan in person must have felt.
For Rivera, who was watching my reaction, I decided to make the first move.
“…I must have made you quite uncomfortable by mistaking you for a child, so let me apologize first.”
“No!”
Apparently realizing that her voice had come out louder than intended, Rivera abruptly covered her mouth, hidden beneath her shaggy hair.
Then she hunched her shoulders and continued.
“What I mean is, Hotdog Man, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I─I'm the one who did wrong.”
“…Wasn't I the one who misunderstood from the beginning?”
“That was because of the food….”
“Whatever the reason, if we trace the cause back, my misunderstanding came first.”
“Even so….”
We were in an awkward situation where each of us kept talking about only our own mistakes.
I had considered switching to formal speech, but I thought that would only make Rivera more anxious, so I decided to continue speaking as I had before.
“Then this matter ends here.”
I cut off Rivera's apology midway.
Otherwise, we would have gone around in circles forever.
“No more apologies. Instead, could I ask you about something else I'm curious about first?”
“……Yes.”
Rivera answered in a trembling voice.
My hand, which had moved without my realizing it, naturally came to rest on the back of the sofa.
…I almost petted her without thinking.
Anyway.
“How did you end up staying in a place like this with just a bunch of children?”
At this rate, there seemed to be more children here than in an orphanage in Risk City.
Though I wasn't even sure whether this city had orphanages.
At my question, Rivera drew a small breath.
“…It may be a somewhat long story. Is that all right?”
“Well, I've got nothing but time.”
Rivera, in a calm voice,
began to tell me about her past.
“As you may have realized after seeing the other children, we're genetically modified life forms secretly experimented on and developed by a corporation.”
“…??”
Realized something after seeing the children?
I did?
Genetics, what?
Without noticing the countless question marks appearing above my head, Rivera continued speaking.
“Kanf, Runrun, and I were called Alpha (α), while the other children with identical faces were called Beta (β). We spent over a decade there…. Anyway, it was a very long time.”
The story was ten times heavier than I had expected.
No, maybe twenty times.
Rivera went on for several minutes, perhaps even several dozen minutes,
calmly telling me her story.
As though she were talking about someone else.
How long had it taken for this little girl to acquire such a listless gaze?
…….
The story, long if one considered it long and short if one considered it short, finally came to an end.
I quietly looked down at Rivera, sitting right beside me.
“…That's the end of our story.”
Rivera, on the other hand, looked up at me with an anxious expression.
Her face wasn't clearly visible because of the hair covering it, but I could naturally tell at least that much.
She had bared the very shame she wanted to hide.
She must have been unable to do anything but tremble with anxiety.
I asked Rivera a question with a serious expression.
It was a question I absolutely had to ask.
“By any chance….”
Rivera lowered her head without a word.
She looked like a condemned prisoner being dragged to the execution grounds.
Someone acknowledging and accepting their own end.
Someone who had finally given up on everything.
But.
The verdict that came from my mouth wasn't what she had expected.
“Then, how old are you….”
“……Pardon?”
It was a very, very important question to me.
It was also important enough to instantly dispel the serious atmosphere.
It was a question I needed answered, too.