Chapter 33: Grit Theory, Sweet Cookies, and Horrific Crime (1)

In my sleep, I dreamt of the future that awaits me.

In that dream, I was still an Academy professor. Despite my desperate efforts, I never managed to overcome my bad luck.

Unable to escape this place, time flowed aimlessly until we reached the novel's finale. I found myself preparing for the final battle alongside the protagonist's group, facing off against the final boss.

Of course, there's no way I could defeat that thing, so I frantically called out to the Primordial Dragon for help, but there was no response.

Well, this is a fictional world after all.

In creative works, overpowered side characters typically can't use their powers at crucial moments. The Primordial Dragon must be sealed away for some contrived reason, unable to protect me.

So what can possibly stand against that final boss now?

I want to say "nothing," but I can feel stares boring into my back.

'We believe in you, Professor Ryan!'

'Someone like you could handle that thing without breaking a sweat, Professor!'

Students spouting such nonsense.

Having been mistakenly labeled as a genius professor surpassing even the Primordial Dragon, I get pushed in front of the final boss by the students' pressure.

Of course, my power was pathetically inadequate. With a casual strike meant to test my strength, the monster cleaves my body in half, and-

"This is driving me absolutely insane."

I jolted awake from that terrible nightmare.

My head started throbbing. While I wasn't mentally weak enough to be shaken by a single bad dream, this one felt a bit too plausible, didn't it?

I can't just dismiss this as a meaningless nightmare.

This was a glimpse of the horrific future bearing down on me. A serious threat approaching step by step.

'And this is actually the optimistic scenario.'

Reality was even crueler than dreams.

The mere fact that I survived until the novel's ending was already an absurdly optimistic prediction.

Just look at my current situation.

Nearly dying seven times in my first month of employment. A life where I face death every four days - you can't get more rock bottom than this.

I'll truly go insane living like this.

'I have to escape this hell by any means necessary.'

While things have gotten quite complicated, I still manage to steel my resolve.

The Iron-Blood Duke and the great Primordial Dragon. Not only the Imperial Family, but even the Academy's board of directors have become my allies. But what does any of that matter?

My will remains unbroken. I have absolutely no intention of meekly accepting my predetermined death.

After all, crisis can become opportunity if you flip it around.

'The current situation isn't even that bad.'

Just like how betrayal by a seemingly virtuous celebrity feels more intense, my current image will actually help dramatically tank my reputation.

The flawless genius professor.

The more everyone makes such mistaken assumptions and expects an ideal image from me, the greater their disappointment will be when I properly mess up.

I'll act so disgracefully that they lose all respect.

Show everyone an unsightly and repulsive side of myself.

And I know the perfect means to accomplish this.

'The swordsmanship lecture. There couldn't be a more efficient option.'

Simply bullying students openly like last time won't be meaningful. They'd surely endure such harassment without complaint, claiming it's just another form of training.

That's why the swordsmanship lecture comes into play.

After all, I have an appalling lack of talent for swordsmanship.

A natural klutz. My weak body struggles to even swing a wooden sword, let alone a real one. I've practiced alone a few times, and the sight was laughably pathetic even to my own eyes.

If I show that miserable display in front of everyone?

If a professor who can barely avoid hitting their own foot with their sword tries to teach everyone like they're something special?

I'll become everyone's laughingstock.

They'll all whisper about how pathetic my skills are, and how I put on airs despite being so incompetent.

If I then pettily punish and harass the students who mock me, my reputation will plummet straight to rock bottom.

This was a perfect plan no matter how you looked at it.

'This time I'll finally achieve my deepest wish.'

There was no reason to hesitate now, so I steeled my resolve and immediately began the preliminary work.

...Sweet termination awaited me.

*****

The Academy was completely restored in just one day.

While marveling at the Primordial Dragon's unreasonable abilities as I walked the corridors, I soon arrived at my destination.

The office of Zion, principal of the Imperial Academy.

I thoroughly prepared myself mentally before opening the door.

While my resignation declaration ended up becoming a trap to catch that criminal, and I had indeed secluded myself claiming to reflect on abusing power through connections - asking to create a new lecture just for myself while ignoring the academic schedule was, by any common sense, the height of delinquent behavior.

This might be the most difficult part of the current plan. I was certainly prepared for that, but...

"Welcome, Ryan! I've been waiting for you!"

The Primordial Dragon greeted me with a bright smile.

Speaking as if she'd known all along I would come here.

When I looked at her in confusion, Zion cheerfully said she "wouldn't deserve to be called the Primordial Dragon if she couldn't predict something this simple."

Come to think of it, Zion possessed the Dragon's Eye.

She must have easily seen through my intentions.

If that's the case, there's no reason to hesitate.

I directly stated why I came here.

"The flowers are blooming beautifully, so with me..." "I came to request opening a new lecture."

But our words unfortunately overlapped.

What was the Primordial Dragon trying to say? I was about to ask, but couldn't.

"Y-Yes! Lectures! That's exactly what I was going to talk about! You're always such a passionate professor dedicated to your students! Makes me proud as principal."

Zion suddenly burst into rapid-fire speech.

Her complexion was pale enough to be concerning.

Her expression drooped into a gloomy pout for some reason.

She kept repeating to forget what she'd said, seemingly having completely forgotten about approving the lecture in her rush.

Was such emotional instability also an effect of erosion?

After pondering briefly, I made a decision.

Something I'd prepared just in case.

It would be good to bring that out now.

"Ah, I forgot to mention. While the lecture is important, there's another even more important matter."

What emerged from my pocket was a bag of cookies.

Not store-bought but homemade.

Cooking is one of my specialties, so I can guarantee the taste.

I'd prepared them as a bribe in case the Primordial Dragon rejected my proposal. They also carried meaning as my own response to the cookies I'd received before.

"It's not much, but I hope you like them."

This should improve the Primordial Dragon's mood a bit.

While the affection rating is an issue, let's consider it a necessary cost to smoothly execute the plan.

That's what I thought as I smiled, but-

Suddenly I heard what sounded like sniffling.

Zion abruptly covered her face with her tail and shouted.

"D-Don't look this way! Close your eyes quickly!"

But I didn't follow her instruction. If she was cursed, I needed to know how to help.

I quickly approach the Primordial Dragon. As my urgent footsteps close the distance between us, and just before the black tail covering her face moves aside...

-CRASH!

The Primordial Dragon threw herself through the window.

She seemed to be trying to fly by returning to her true form, but the polymorph hadn't properly resolved. The tiny wings couldn't support the weight of the chubby mascot-like dragon.

A loud THUD echoed out.

The sudden commotion drew everyone's attention. Students began gathering one by one around the mascot dragon.

Children asking what in the world happened.

But no matter how much they asked, there were no answers.

Zion, who had turned red as a Red Dragon, squeezed her eyes shut and began ignoring everything.

After a full 30 minutes passed like this, with not just the entire student body but even professors coming to investigate, the Primordial Dragon finally opened her mouth.

"Th-That vile demon must have been up to his tricks again."

Bael, ranked 1st among the 72 Great Evils.

That elusive demon had attacked Zion.

The Primordial Dragon explained that her mind had been controlled, so she couldn't even remember what happened today. Everyone who heard this ground their teeth in anger.

"Curse you, Bael... How dare you toy with and insult Lady Primordial Dragon like this. This is absolutely unforgivable!"

The demon was to blame, as expected.

Everyone united in grinding their teeth for revenge.

And that's how this series of events was wrapped up.

[I'll take care of the lecture arrangements.]

A letter left in my room when I returned to my quarters.

How did someone who claimed to have lost their memories write this? Why was there the strange condition that schedule details had to be conveyed verbally at a nearby restaurant?

A hypothesis occurred to me as I pondered, but... sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs lie.

Love is always prone to change easily.

Before long, our alpha male protagonist will surely save the Primordial Dragon and add her to his harem members. There was absolutely no need to worry about this.

Deliberately ignoring my ominous premonition, I decided to toast to the approval of my swordsmanship lecture.