Chapter 50
It felt as if Basellain had been possessed by a ghost.
“Why, why is this so fun...?”
There was no formula for writing a hit novel.
But there was a formula for ruining a novel.
For example.
Stuffing multiple characters into a single scene.
And not just that, filling the scene only with extras appearing there for the very first time.
Ordinary readers weren't fond of novels like that, because they didn't have enough time to immerse themselves in the characters.
So they'd usually go, “What is this?” and fling it away in an instant.
Another one.
Filling an entire chapter with nothing but dialogue, without even a scene change.
Unless the final hidden mastermind, the Demon King, showed up and they were having a philosophical discussion with him right before the ending.
If you pulled that kind of stunt in the early or middle parts of a novel, readers would immediately go, “It's dragging,” and toss it aside.
However.
This writer calmly did both.
It was an outrageous development; if this were the Imperial Daily, the editor would jump out and slap the author across the face with the manuscript.
If it were me, I'd definitely take the hit, cry, and rewrite it.
But what now came into view was.
Countless debates with Wu extras he'd never seen before.
And it was packed to the brim with heated arguments.
Had the writer Ulysses completely lost his touch?
……It would have been better if that were the case.
- Zhuge Liang, ever since you attached yourself to Liu Bei, Liu Bei has lost battle after battle and never won once. Then aren't you a spirit of defeat?
- In this day and age, does merely beating back a hundred thousand men at Bowang Slope with only a thousand soldiers count as a loss? I don't think you could pull that off, bud.
- Either way, you lost, didn't you?
- Selfish bastard, what if all the people die? You say that like it's fine? Protecting the people while retreating is what a true hero does!
In the debate over what a hero is.
Zhuge Liang crushed Zhang Zhao.
- They say Cao Cao's army has over a million men. Can you handle that?
- If Cao Cao's army had a million soldiers... there aren't many decent ones among them. How did Cao Cao get this far? He took out Yuan Shao's army, took out Liu Biao's army, and after brushing all of them aside, what's left is just a handful.
- Why is the great Zhuge Liang so long-winded? Weren't you here to ask for help?
- If you're not sure, don't take the gamble. Didn't you learn that? You're going to surrender because you're scared of a Cao Cao army with no substance?
Even in the debate over how to stop a million-strong army.
Zhuge Liang crushed Yu Fan.
There was more.
- It seems like Cao Cao has Heaven's will, doesn't it?
- If you also stab the lord you serve in the back, you can probably brag that you have Heaven's will too.
- Aside from the big ears, I don't think there's a shred of elf in your bloodline. Weren't you originally the sort who made straw mats?
- The emperor stamped you with a relative-verification badge, didn't he? Heretic.
- You seem to be talking nonsense. Might I ask what your educational background is? Have you read any books?
- Are you planning to do nothing but read books until the country collapses? Life is the real world. But how does someone's name end up being Eom Jun?
A true tongue-based Musou rampage unfolded, with one knife jab after another delivered to the tongues of Wu's top mouth-fighters.
In the end.
- This petty mouth-off show is banned outright!
Even Huang Gai, unable to stand by and watch the Wu nobles getting wrecked in a flame war, stepped in to praise Zhuge Liang.
In a place with not a single friendly soul, in a hellish place where everyone waited with knives hidden in their tongues.
Zhuge Liang dominated everyone with his three-inch tongue and emerged as the final victor.
“……Hah.”
The timid nobles who pretended to be scared of the threat of another country and advocated surrender.
By contrasting them with the resolute general who wanted to fight to the death, he subtly implied that, even as a strategist, he had the bearing of a general.
Basellain had no choice but to admit it.
It was definitely a well-crafted episode.
“But after laying out a story like that, can he still keep the momentum going? It must have been quite a slog to write... That's probably as far as it goes.”
Still, Basellain didn't trust it.
I'd seen too many writers throw out a novel thinking it'd be fun to write it that way, only to stop serializing without cleaning up the mess afterward.
Ulysses would be the same too...!
* * *
But Kim Yul only partly betrayed Basellain's expectations.
But it was undeniably enough to put satisfied smiles on most readers' lips.
Early on.
Even for those who tilted their heads during the Three Visits part and wondered, 'Is Zhuge Liang really that much of a genius?' it also succeeded, to some extent, in proving the protagonist's overpoweredness.
But that wasn't the end of it.
A foreign ruler, no less.
Even while carrying the risk that one wrong word could get his own head chopped off and sent to Cao Cao by express delivery.
- Just surrender already? But you know Cao Cao's a married-woman killer, right? I heard he'd love to do a set threesome itcha-itcha with your sister-in-law and Zhou Yu's wife over there.
By setting the man's heart ablaze with NTR, he properly rattled Sun Quan—who still hadn't awakened his Skaven bloodline and evolved into Jerry—and secured the alliance.
“Wow... There was even romance and love here! I should ask them to write a side story for Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao later...!”
Roselyn gave it a thumbs-up for the attempt to force a decisive battle to protect a beloved, even in an overwhelmingly unfavorable situation.
Against Zhou Yu's wariness, suspicion, and jealousy, and the fate of being doomed to cry, “Hwaaah! O heavens!” again in this work as well.
- A hundred thousand arrows, done in three days flat. This is creative economy.
He even showed ingenuity by drawing tons of aggro with ships loaded full of straw and then farming arrows through evasive maneuvers.
If it were a scene that had appeared even once in another novel, maybe I'd understand.
At the very least, the absurd idea of seizing the enemy's strength had been a never-before-seen piece of new tech in this otherworld.
Thus.
Victory in the war of words.
He even succeeded in persuading Sun Quan.
He also won the strategic duel with Zhou Yu.
Far from slumping, Ulysses's “all-time genius who doesn't hide his loyalty” was only trending upward.
“Knead it a little harder.”
“Hmph, shall I show you the true touch of an elf, desuwa?”
Naturally, Novelpia's subscriber count also soared.
As punishment for asking the wildly insolent question, “Isn't this getting a bit too far, desuwa?” Chloe evolved into a massage shuttle.
But Kim Yul wasn't quite that happy.
* * *
He'd... misplanned the strategy.
Getting provoked by that bastard back then and putting a little too much effort into the Zhuge Liang part wasn't bad.
In fact, the response was good, and card pack sales were climbing by the day thanks to the ripple effect.
Now all he needed was the Red Cliffs expansion pack to launch, and it'd be absolutely perfect...
The problem was.
The Sima Yi part.
Taking advantage of the ripple effect by deliberately using a two-track writing method wasn't bad, and it had actually worked to some extent.
[Title: Two Heroes: An all-time genius who doesn't hide his loyalty]
[Historical accuracy: Does not match]
[Public reception: Very positive]
[Daily readers: 9,242]
[Title: Two Heroes: The empire's second-in-command who hides his ambition well]
[Historical accuracy: Matches]
[Public reception: Mixed]
[Daily readers: 2,413]
“Khh...”
The status window doesn't lie.
Unbelievable...
Compared to Zhuge Liang, Sima Yi's popularity was a mere handful, less than a third of it.
Even Zhuge Liang's metrics were trending upward.
Sima Yi's metrics were trending downward.
The gap could widen to four, five, or even six times from here.
Wasn't this the guest overtaking the host?
Maybe he should just wrap up Sima Yi early and aim for another historical angle.
That might actually be better. Writing two Three Kingdoms stories was enough to make his hair feel like it was falling out.
“Still, you did make a lot of money, didn't you?”
“Money can't buy a soul, you tin can...!”
“But you can buy something delicious instead. Hehe.”
“Pig-like tin can—Agh!”
Hitori's special move, hitting the same sore spot again, slammed into my forearm.
This hurts a lot...!
“Sugar has an immediate effect on stimulating the brain, so I consume it to improve my cognitive output. Therefore, please refrain from such rude remarks.”
Then at least wipe the chocolate off your mouth before you talk...
But if I kept needling her any more, our little tin can, having learned to sulk, would just pout again and bundle herself up tight in her clothes, so.
Kim Yul decided to endure it for the greater good.
“I just felt something unpleasant for a moment.”
“It's just your imagination.”
It seemed the cutting-edge AI could even read minds...
“Uh...?”
“Eh...?”
Historie and I both made dumb noises at the same time.
Something was off with the lab door.
Normally, the modern scenery beyond the glass window would sometimes stir my nostalgia, but...
right now it was as if something.
were flashing gold, like a gacha animation had gone off.
And then.
Rattle-rattle.
Rattle-rattle...!
“H-hoeeet...! K-Kim Yul...? What is it...?”
The tin can clung to my forearm, making a bizarre voice I'd never heard her make before.
I don't know.
What the hell is going on?
Is this some ridiculously fun hidden-camera prank?
Ta-da! Was this going to be a surprise commemorative event for completing my doctorate coursework? Was my advisor going to pop out and say that? Had I been a brain in a vat?
Even as my thoughts ran wild and spun in circles, the soft feel of the wisdom pouch snugly clinging to my forearm helped me keep what little sanity I had left.
Once more.
Rattle-rattle, rattle-rattle...!
The door shook hard once.
Right after.
Along with a pair of horns.
A blond crown of hair burst through the glass.
It was incredibly round.
It was a rebel-looking face with a head shape I knew all too well.
And then the forehead popped out.
A vertically slit lizard pupil popped out.
A growling fang and a bratty little mouth popped out.
“Ugh, what kind of barrier is stronger than the Spirit Realm's...!”
Esthea's eyes, which had been growling in irritation,
captured us as we clung there, trembling like mad.
And then.
Esthea shouted.
“Don't goof off and keep the chapters coming, keep the chapters coming!”
“......”
“......”
A crazy yellow mutt invaded the lab.